


For Cayde

by AislinAvalbane312



Series: Cayde and Aislin - The For Cayde Series [1]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-08-24 11:40:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 147,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16639337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AislinAvalbane312/pseuds/AislinAvalbane312
Summary: What if the events in Forsaken didn't happen exactly as they played out?  What if something dark and dangerous from Cayde's past was the one thing that could save him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been a labor of love that is still in the works. I'm not sure how many chapters it will end up being once done, but I've been enjoying exploring my characters relationship with Cayde and going on this journey with him. I hope you enjoy it, too. 
> 
> And to you, Cayde, my Little Firefly, may your Light burn ever brighter in the Darkness. ~Aislin

I thought I knew myself.

We all like to think we know ourselves.

But we never truly do.

That is, unless, if we are ever so lucky enough, someone comes into our lives who becomes our whole world and shows us our true selves. 

It may not be expected. It may be gradual. A slow, growing respect and admiration that is returned over the years. A camaraderie that blossoms into a deeper friendship and trust before the lines blur between that and love. It’s not something you can really pinpoint when it happens. It’s just … there. Hovering in the air, comfortable and warm whenever you’re near each other.

I don’t know what drew us together. He’s a Hunter. I’m a Titan. He’s an Exo, I’m an Awoken. 

Maybe it was because I always found his jokes funny and laughed - that it touched him somehow. Maybe it was a mutual enjoyment of a hot bowl of ramen at the end of a particularly hard mission.

Maybe it was that I liked chickens, too.

Whatever it was, as the years passed and I grew stronger and more skilled, seemed to do things other Guardians couldn’t; taking out enemy after enemy and coming back from places and dimensions where others never did - Even becoming an Iron Lord - I think Cayde stopped seeing a fledgling Guardian and started seeing a warrior. Someone who, even though I’d only been here a fraction of the time he had, was an equal. Both in mind and skill. 

I was new to this world, but my soul was old. Very old. That I knew. Felt. Even remembered at times.

He once told me that I wasn’t like any of the other Guardians he’d met over the years. Especially not any of the new ones. That I had a literal fire inside me and not just the one that burned from my powers. That he’d watched in awe as I’d stand my ground against wave upon wave of enemies he’d seen others run from. Like a wall, I’d take whatever they threw at me and give it right back and then some, leveling entire onslaughts with a single crash of my hammer. And if I went down, my Ghost, my Little Light, would rez me, and I’d be right back up, charging full force.

I think he admired me.

And I admired him.

He was cocky and confident. He’d go into a fight with such ease and fluidity, teasing the enemies until they lost their temper with him and snapped. And he’d be ready. And fast. Oh, was he fast. He could take out three or four coming at him in the blink of an eye with that canon of his and reload before they hit the ground. The Ace of Spades. That thing would light up with fire when his powers were at full tilt and he’d turn anything that dared cross him to ash with the pull of the trigger. 

That’s why, when we met Petra at the Prison of Elders and he suggested we split up to cover more ground and get things back online, I had no hesitation. No worry. Well, no real worry. There’s always some that lingers in the very back of your mind when someone you care for is facing danger. There’s no way of helping that. But there was nothing that made me hesitate when he gleefully jumped down to the bridge below me and started going at it while I headed over the bridge above him into the main area of the prison. 

It wasn’t until the explosion and we lost communication that I got concerned. 

And then, when that surge of Light, - his Light - slammed into me and radiated through my body, turning my blood to ice and taking all the air right out of my lungs … 

That was the moment. 

That was when I realized he had become my world.

And I was about to lose it.

 

Cayde was laying motionless on the cold metal floor of Deck Zero. Uldren, that arrogant, traitorous, little prick, he was just crossing through the hatch that led to the escape pods. The Barons were already standing there, just on the other side of the opening, waiting for him. I couldn’t see their faces against the light at their backs but I’m sure, if they were capable of grinning, they were. I heard Uldren lowly chuckle and saw him lift Cayde’s canon, giving it a little wave with his hand. “He didn’t feel a thing,” he told me, chuckling. I raised my gun, ready to fire, but was too late. The hatch door closed.

I found myself not caring. I ran to Cayde’s side and knelt down beside him, pulling my helmet off so he could see my face. I saw the hole in his chest and the black, oil-like substance his body used for blood splattered on his chest armor. There was more on his arms, down by his ribs, and at his right hip. The left side of his face had been badly damaged, as well as the armor to the left side of his body. It had been ripped clean off and more of his blood was oozing from the tears to his body. And his Ghost - His Sundance - She was gone. 

“H-how’s my hair?” Cayde asked as he looked up at me, his voice metallic and echoing against the damage, coughing a little as he tried to chuckle.

“Cayde,” I uttered softly. 

I held it together. 

I had to. 

I wanted to cry. To scream. To curse all the gods of the past and the Traveler. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. He needed my strength and reassurance. So I moved behind him and sat, carefully easing him up a little and got him laying back against my chest, gently putting my arms around him, holding him. He winced at the process and coughed some more but, as soon as my arms were around him, his body relaxed and he reached up and held onto my arms with all the strength he had left. 

Ghost appeared before us then, his soft celestial glow a mild comfort in that moment. “Oh no,” he uttered and looked Cayde over. I could feel Cayde against me, under my arms, breathing heavily - struggling to get in what air he could. 

Don’t let anything you hear about them fool you. Exos breathe. The thing is, they don’t HAVE to. But they are human minds inside robotic bodies. To not breathe would feel unnatural to them. Unsettling. 

They also feel pain. Everything a human can feel, they can. And he was hurting. Badly. And I found myself silently begging whatever force there was, be it the Traveler, be it God, whatever or whoever would listen, that it be me. Let me take his place. Let me feel the pain not him.

“There’s nothing I can - I’m … I’m sorry,” Ghost finally said after looking at Cayde for a few moments. I could hear the regret and pain in his voice. I knew Ghost wanted to help him. Would have in an instant if he’d only had the power to do so. 

But he didn’t. 

“Ais-” Cayde finally uttered. 

“I’m right here,” I whispered, my voice a thin, frail shadow of itself.

He nodded a little and chuckled again, causing another round of coughing. “S-still funny,” he managed.

“What’s that?” I murmured, lightly resting the side of my face against his, closing my eyes. I just wanted to keep him talking. 

“Ais. That-that of all names, yours is Ais,” he managed softly, a smile in his voice despite the pain. “And y-you’re real. Really … real.”

“I’m real, sweetheart,” I whispered. “And I’m right here,” I softly assured him again, my eyes burning with tears I was refusing to shed as I thought of the two people he wrote to and about in his journals. Ace and his Queen. He’d shared that with me in more recent months. I’d been in the hanger and noticed him sitting up above his work station, curled up in the corner by some storage crates, writing away in a little book I later learned was one of many journals he kept. He invited me to come up and sit with him, so I did, and he told me how he’d found the name ‘Ace’ in a journal he had on him the very first time Sundance had brought him back as a Guardian. He had no memory of who Ace really was, only the name in the journal, and he told me he assumed maybe Ace was his son from another time long gone. At some point he started writing to Ace in his journal and others after it, telling him about things that happened and how he was doing; like a soldier writing home from the front. And then there was the Queen. His Queen. Not Mara Sov. I’d asked him if that was who he’d meant and he actually looked aghast at the idea of it. No, Cayde’s Queen was more a feeling than a real person. She was love. Contentment. What he held onto when times got bad. Along with Ace, it created a family of sorts in his mind. A family that grounded him. Gave him something positive and good to focus on in the years he’d spent in The Wilds before joining The Vanguard. He continued writing to them, even now, because it was a comfort. He felt like he could tell them things he couldn’t tell anyone else and they kept his memories for him, incase something ever happened and he needed them. 

Memories were so important to Cayde. He wrote in his journal a lot. I wasn’t sure how many he had at this point, all safely hidden away of course, afraid of ever losing them. But he had ways of guiding himself back to them. Memory triggers he called them, and I remembered that time when I was out looking for the stealth drive he’d hidden away, that Ghost and I found one of his stash hideouts. It had been looted but a couple playing cards were left behind. He’d mentioned how he used cards as a trigger for certain things. I had no idea at the time just how much deeper that went.

Then, one day, just out of the blue, he said he thought it was funny my name, shortened, sounded like ‘Ace’, and how he thought it was a strange coincidence. It didn’t seem like long after that I saw him writing a little less in his journals about things that bothered him or he needed to work out in his head and started talking to me more. He’d still sit up above his work station and invite me up and we’d quietly talk. Sometimes I’d bring some coffee to share or, if it had been a long day and I’d been out on missions or strikes, he’d have bowls of ramen waiting. The mood was always comfortable and relaxed and he’d ask my opinions on things about what he should do and discuss how some things made him feel. Every day events he still wrote about, though. So he had something to fall back on. He liked to have that cushion. But the personal stuff … he just started sharing it with me. More and more. Sometimes for hours. He even told me about missions - new and old - and how they made him feel, regrets he had about handling some, and concerns about being good enough to be a Vanguard. That he thought Zavala and Ikora didn’t really like him much. That he secretly didn’t think anyone really liked him, and that, deep down, he thought maybe he wasn’t really a good person. Of course, I immediately told him that was total bullshit. He chuckled a little but I don’t think he ever believed me, even though I knew Zavala and Ikora liked him, they just didn’t tend to show their feelings much. I reminded him that Amanda liked him, too, and enjoyed spending time with him when he was working on his ship or sparrow. That Shaxx had high regard for him as well, especially for how skilled he’d shown himself in the Crucible in the past. And, of course, I’d told him I really enjoyed spending time with him. That is was what I looked forward to each day. That seemed to make him a little shy. I know, Cayde is never shy. Or, rather, never shows being shy. But that had an effect on him in a way I can’t really explain other than that. It seemed to make him open up even more and that’s when he told me about Andal. That the hardest grief he ever felt was over a man who’d been like a brother to him, and that it had devastated him when Andal had died by Taniks’ hand. Cayde felt responsible for it and told me how much it hurt him to wear Andal’s cloak every day but he did it because it hurt. That was how important those memories were to him. The deeper the pain, the more real he knew they were and not just something he thought he remembered. 

And that deeper trust I spoke of? This was where it came in. This was where it started blurring into something stronger. He’d started calling me ‘His Ais’ every now and again when no one else was around. And me, I’d call him my ‘Little Firefly'. 

Ghost had once asked me why I called Cayde ‘Little Firefly’ when he wasn’t in fact little, then started going on about how Cayde and I were the same height and how it just didn’t make any sense. I had to cut him off and told him it was because the ‘Little’ implied that he was precious to me. I think that was the first time Ghost understood my calling him ‘Little Light’ wasn’t a dig at his size, but a compliment and endearment. Since then, he never complained about the ‘Little’. 

As for Cayde, I remember the first time I called him ‘Little Firefly’. It just came out, right out of the blue. It was when he was sitting with me, talking to me about Andal for the first time and what happened with Taniks. He’d become so lost in the memory - in that moment Andal had died - he’d started quietly sobbing at one point and began apologizing profusely for the emotional outburst, making to get up and leave, embarrassed, when I gently eased him back against me and rubbed his arms before putting my own around him and murmuring: “It’s okay, my Little Firefly. I’ve got you.”. I know it surprised him. Surprised me, too, when I realized it had slipped out like that. And I was a little worried it may have been a too familiar endearment and gesture. That maybe I overstepped the boundaries of our friendship. But his response was to just hug my arms. Tight. Then he curled up into me a little and continued telling me more about Andal. After that, it just became something natural I’d call him in special moments or when it seemed he really needed the affection just like his endearment to me.

And then, one afternoon, I came back to the Tower from setting up some patrols in the EDZ - Which Cayde was supposed to be doing but Devrim and Zavala ended up helping with. I walked in to file my report and Zavala had Cayde in the corner - yes, in the actual corner! - and was lecturing him about responsibility. As soon as Cayde saw me, he pushed past Zavala, arms open in greeting, and said: “Hey! There’s My Ais!”. I think he was testing it out. To see how I’d react to him saying that in front of other people. Especially Zavala and Ikora. I’d smiled at him and without missing a beat, I replied: “There’s My Little Firefly!”. He chuckled, that hidden shy side coming back, but he also seemed relieved and a bit of something else I couldn’t pinpoint. I don’t think he was expecting it - for me to say it in front of others and with such confidence. Like I knew he was mine and wasn’t afraid to let others know it, too. I noticed Ikora glance over at Zavala regarding our exchange, both of them seeming to have a silent comment between themselves before we all got more serious, discussing the situation in the EDZ, Cayde coming over to stand by my side the entire time. 

Later, after the meeting, I was in the hanger at Amanda’s tool chest, getting a part she left for me for my sparrow, when I felt arms go around me from behind in a hug. I startled a little and looked to my side to see Cayde's face, eyes closed, chin resting in the crook of my shoulder armor. He didn’t say anything and neither did I. I just set the part down and hugged his arms in return, petting them softly. He kept his eyes closed and gave just behind my ear a tender nuzzle, squeezing my waist a little bit tighter for just a moment, then quickly let me go and hurried off without a word. I don’t know if it was because I’d reciprocated his affectionate greeting earlier, if it was because he was sensing that deeper connection was growing, or maybe a little of both. But, clearly, he’d been touched.

And that’s the way it went. Affectionate interactions, sometimes playful banter, working together more - which Cayde had loved. It got him out of the Tower! 

It never went beyond that, though. It wasn’t that we didn’t seem to want it to. I know I did. I absolutely adored him. Had completely fallen in love with him, in fact. I just didn’t dare push him because I think he was scared and that was what kept stopping him from going that one more step forward. Of not just the risk of losing something good - because loss truly did scare him - but I think it was also being an Exo. Cayde put on a good show of being confident and open with all the posturing and lighthearted playfulness but, in quieter moments, one could see he was actually far more introverted. Private. Careful. And not always comfortable with what he was. Sometimes he didn’t like being touched or stared at too long. Never with me. He didn’t seem to mind those things with me. In fact, he seemed to crave them at times. But with other people, I could tell when he didn’t like it. Of course, for those who did that, he wouldn’t let it show it bothered him. He’d just hit them with a witty remark or biting comment, depending on the severity of the personal infraction, that often resulted in them leaving. But, sometimes he’d talk to people with his back to them, pretending to be busy. I think he did that so all they saw was the silhouette of a man and wouldn’t see that his body actually wasn’t that. I was also pretty sure that was why it was very rare he’d let them see him without his hood on. 

He also had nightmares. Every Exo dreamed. For some, the dreams were more pleasant. For others, it was a struggle. A war in their minds to reach a place from long ago that none remembered the location to. But Cayde had other nightmares. Flashes of memories that left him disoriented when he woke. Not long after he’d hugged me in the hanger, I started inviting him to stay at my apartment overlooking the Bazaar whenever he liked. It was more comfortable and private. And since he didn’t have a place of his own - more or less just milled around the Tower, being used to having no one place to be - I made it his safe haven where he could relax and be himself, something he said he hadn’t really done since his time with Andal. We’d stay up late and watch some old archived films saved from long ago and he’d usually end up spending the night, sleeping on my couch. I think that was what made him cautious of staying in my bed with me. He was welcome. I’m sure he knew. But the nightmares worried him. Sometimes, I’d be up early, quietly getting ready for the day or making breakfast and he’d come into the kitchen and look around, completely lost. Like it was all new to him and he couldn’t remember that he’d come here the night before or where here even was. Other times he’d just be sitting up on the couch and stare off at nothing then come out of it and not be sure who I was when I asked him if he was alright. He always came back. After just a few minutes. But he was haunted by things that he couldn’t place from lifetimes ago. Things he admitted scared him about himself. Made him think he was actually a terrible person. So I’d sit with him and remind him of the man he was now and that whoever he may have been, was long gone. It seemed to help because he wouldn’t allow himself to linger in those thoughts for too long. And, soon after, he’d be back to his old self with all his wise-cracking wit, and posturing, with that hidden sensitive and sweet side he only ever let a select few see.

 

“D-don’t let me go, okay?” I suddenly heard him murmur and was pulled out of my memories, tilting my head to look at his face. 

“Oh, my Little Firefly, I won’t ever let you go. I promise,” I vowed, barely able to speak, tears finally slipping down my cheeks, despite trying to hold them back. I hated that I couldn’t help him. That all I could do was hold him. That somehow doing that was nothing but everything all at the same time. His eyes said it all, though. He knew he was slipping away and didn’t want to. Didn’t want to cause this pain I was feeling for him. 

“I-I’m sorry,” he uttered.

“Shhhhhhh,” I managed, my lips and voice trembling. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

And it wasn’t. It was the fault of Uldren and the Barons. I would make them pay for this. One way or another. Cayde’s Light was a beautiful one. Rare and special - in my eyes, at least. I wouldn’t let them get away with it. 

I heard and felt him cough again, a low steady trembling deep inside him from the pain and maybe even fear. I closed my eyes and kissed his temple. “I’m right here,” I whispered. “I’ve got you.” I felt him struggling to get air in. Even if he didn’t need it, he was still trying, his breaths raspy, like he was drowning. He kept shifting his left leg, moving it a little in frustration at the discomfort. I started quietly humming a soft little song to him, giving him something else to focus on and felt his hands tighten on my arms as he coughed again. “Ais, I-” He turned his head, tilting it up toward my face. He was looking at me like he’d wanted to say more, but he just didn’t know how. Like there was an eternity of things he’d wanted to say and he regretted every moment he’d let slip by not saying at least one. 

The pain in his eyes from that was searing. 

I reached up and carefully held his cheek in my hand. “I know,” I whispered, nodding. “I know,” I assured him. “Me, too."

He softly gasped, his eyes widening a little. “Ais …”. His body slowly relaxed, and I looked at him, my own wide, feeling my head shaking back and forth. “No. No, Cayde. Don’t. Don’t go …”. His features blurred as my eyes filled with tears, watching his own fade out, his body going still and slack. “No. No, no, no. Cayde.” His head lolled into my chest, and I gave him a little shake. “Cayde!” I shook my head again when he didn’t respond, then pulled him up closer to me and rocked him, pressing my face to the side of his. “Please come back,” I whispered. “Please.”

 

I don’t know how long I sat there with him, numb, my body still gently rocking his, my hand still cradling his head. I could hear Petra’s voice. It was soft, but seemed muffled and off in the distance even though I finally noticed she was crouched down beside us, her hand on my arm. “Aislin …”

“I-I can’t. I don’t want to move him,” I barely managed, looking at her. Her single eye was brimming as well, but she was holding it back, her other hand on his shoulder, idly caressing it, like, somehow, he’d still be able to feel it and know we were there. That we had him and he was safe. She gave a nod, seeming to understand and took in a slow, shuddering breath as her gaze went from me to him.

I turned my head, looking at Cayde’s face and reached up, slowly and very softly trailing the backs of my fingers over his jaw. He still felt warm against me. I wanted to hold onto that. To move meant that warmth would quickly fade. But Petra was right. We couldn’t stay there forever. And Ikora and Zavala … they didn’t know. 

I had to take him home.

He would want to go home.

“Bring the ship around,” I quietly told her, my voice broken. 

Petra slowly stood and watched me for a few more moments before turning to go. Ghost floated up off my shoulder and around in front of us, looking at me looking at Cayde. I think if Ghost were capable of crying, he would have. Even the usual bright glow of his shell was dimmed in sorrow. 

I caressed Cayde’s face again and leaned forward kissing it gently before I finally willed myself to straighten. I got my arms under him and got my feet under myself, then stood, picking him up, cradling him to my chest. He felt so impossibly light in my arms; so small and frail. Not the man he usually was. Yes, he had a small frame. Was lithe and hardly intimidating in overall stature. But he’d had a presence that belied it. That cocky confidence that just radiated. I felt my chest tighten again, my throat constrict impossibly tight, making it hard to breathe as I realized I’d never feel that presence again and I nearly collapsed back down to the floor with him. Somehow, though, I managed to stay on my feet and managed to breathe. I looked at his face and nuzzled it gently. “I’ve got you,” I whispered, holding him close, then headed for the opening in the wall toward the prison exit, my feet feeling like they were made of lead, dragging on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

We flew in silence for the first few minutes before Petra asked if she should open up the comms and contact Zavala and Ikora. I didn’t think it was a good idea this far out. I felt like we needed to be there. Be closer, before we told them. Like it would be cruel to leave them sitting, waiting for too long. “Not just yet,” I replied. It seemed like, once they were told, then it was really real. And I didn’t want it to be real. I wanted this to be a nightmare. Just a terrible nightmare. That, soon, I’d wake up and everything would be as it was before. I looked at his face again. I hadn’t let him go. I was sitting with him in my lap, still cradled in my arms, head on my shoulder. He almost looked like he was sleeping.

I really wanted him to just be sleeping. To imagine we’d had a long day and he’d settled back and fallen asleep in my arms like he’d done now countless times before. There was something about doing it I’d noticed he’d liked. It almost became a routine with us at the end of the day. I’d get out of my armor and put on my day clothes. If he was in the hanger, I’d bring the coffee and smile at him from where he was working or meeting with incoming Hunters and other Guardians that were coming to him for missions or patrols. Then I’d make my way up the stairs to that hidden away spot by the crates and sit, setting his cup on a little makeshift table we’d made out of an empty box. I’d sip some of my coffee and, shortly after, I’d hear his footsteps climbing the metal stairs and see him come around to where I was. I’d set my cup down and he’d crouch in front of me as I moved my legs, then he’d settle back against my chest and rest the back of his head on my shoulder, closing his eyes with a sigh. I’d put my arms around him and we’d have another one of those comfortable silence moments. I think he just liked that feeling of someone there at his back. Knowing he didn’t have to look over his shoulder when I was there. We’d do the same in my apartment, too. On the couch. He’d settle in with me and we’d watch a film or I’d read aloud to him and he’d slowly drift off. 

Looking back on it, I still don’t know how it never went beyond that. Maybe we both just really loved the closeness and affection more than anything. Knowing we were there for each other. Him knowing someone really wanted him around and enjoyed his company. I also had a sneaking suspicion he liked that I was a Titan. Titans and Hunters usually butted heads because we tended to be so different. But I wasn’t exactly like a typical Titan. When the armor came off, I was just Aislin. But I still held that presence. That strength. Or so he’d told me. I think there was something about that he found comforting and safe. Maybe all the years in the Wilds - always having to watch his own back - he felt safe with me. He could let his guard down and not worry, because I was there. I couldn’t believe I felt a bit of a smile tug at my lips then but I couldn’t help wonder if it was all as simple as that. Just knowing he could vulnerable knowing his Titan was there.

His Titan.

Who watched his back.

I felt a sharp pain in my chest and a chill up my spine, feeling ill. 

“It’s my fault,” I whispered to him. I should have stayed with him. Shouldn’t have separated from him. I should have had his back and I didn’t. Not this time. I settled my palm on his cheek and caressed it softly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I quietly sobbed, resting my forehead to his.

And that was when I noticed it. 

At first, I thought I was seeing things. I blinked tears away and furrowed my brow as I focused my eyes. Inside his hood on the right, there was a very, very faint green glow. It was so faint, I really thought I was imagining it. But I wasn’t. I gently tilted his head and pushed the hood back. There, behind his ear was a tiny green … light. It was hidden inside one of the creases of the metal and only about the size of a pinhead. But, in the darkness of the back of the ship, it was easily seen. The light slowly but steadily pulsed. It would slowly dim, then slowly come back up again, like an idling light to a terminal.

“Petra …”. There must have been something in the tone of my voice because she put the ship on autopilot and came back. “What is it?” She asked, leaning over us, her hand going to my shoulder, the situation bringing out a comforting side to her she never showed - side a Queen’s Wrath was meant to kept hidden away. I took a steadying breath and pointed to the light just as Ghost floated over to see what was happening, hovering over Cayde’s head. “It’s … Is he?” Ghost stuttered, looking up at me then at Petra. 

Petra leaned down to look more closely, frowning. “I … I don’t know.” She turned her head toward mine. “You’ve never seen this before?”

I shook my head. “No.” I looked back at the blinking light, then at Cayde’s face before my fingers unconsciously traced the sealed port at the back of his head. I looked down at his body, then back at his face. “His body is broken … not his mind,” I whispered. I looked at Petra. “Exo bodies like Cyade’s aren’t all metal. I mean, the bone structure is, but Exo bodies I’ve seen, like his - not the older ones - they’re not all hard metal. Only the ‘bones’ are. And their heads. The rest is this … this … I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like a fleshy …. silicone … mesh over a rigid interior structure. I didn’t understand before … why make the bodies soft and human-like, and not their heads?”

“To protect their consciousness,” Ghost uttered, looking at me.

Petra’s eye widened. “He’s not dead …”

“He’s still in there,” I nodded. “Petra-”

She nodded and placed her hand on Cayde’s face. “Hang on, Cayde,” she uttered, then went back to the cockpit and flew us as fast as she could while I had Ghost open up the comms to Zavala and Ikora on a private channel.

 

Zavala had the hanger cleared of everyone, save Holliday. When Petra and I stepped off, I was carrying Cayde, Petra right behind me, Ghost floating along beside us. I heard Amanda softly gasp and utter Cyade’s name while Zavala and Ikora flanked us, hurrying along with us to the infirmary. Both their faces were awash of fear and concern, each of them looking down at Cayde as we navigated the concrete and metal corridors to the back of the Tower into the Vanguard Infirmary. 

Carmin Dumuzi of Owl Sector greeted us with a nod and directed me to place Cayde on the exam table where her team was set up and ready. I hesitated in letting him go once he was laying down. I hadn’t let him go since the Prison. But Zavala gently put his hands on my arms and backed me away so the team could go to work. 

Carmin pulled a curtain closed around them and Cayde while Ikora, Zavala, Petra, Amanda, and I waited just off the side. I backed into the wall and slowly slid down it until I was sitting on the floor, just staring at the closed curtain, watching the shadows behind it moving, the voices of Carmin’s team sounding garbled as they worked quickly but quietly. I saw one doctor come out from behind the curtain, carrying Cayde’s damaged chest armor and his hood and cloak, setting them on a nearby table, before he went back behind the curtain. Ikora came over and crouched down beside me, setting a hand on my knee while Zavala stood to my other side. Petra stayed in the doorway with Amanda, silently watching as well. I think the animosity between herself and Zavala kept her back, not wanting to let it cause any issues right now. Despite their mutual dislike for each other, they both understood that needed to be put aside. 

A few minutes later, the same doctor went back to the table carrying the rest of Cayde’s uniform, boots, and scarf, then went back behind the curtain. Ikora was saying something to me but I didn’t hear it the first time, so I blinked and turned my head to look at her. “What?”

That’s when I heard Petra reply to what Ikora had asked. She explained what had happened. That Uldren had escaped along with the Barons destroying Cayde’s Ghost and shooting him in the process. I didn’t fully pay attention, I just kept staring at the curtain and the shadows moving behind it until, a while later, Carmin stepped out and came over to us.

I found myself suddenly on my feet, unaware I’d even stood, and felt Zavala’s hand on my shoulder. “Is he -” Zavala asked, hesitant. He was trying to stand tall. To be that person everyone looked to for hope and strength. But you could see he just didn’t have it in him. I reached up and laid my hand over his, giving it a squeeze. 

Carmin sighed and placed her hands in the pockets of her robe. “His brain is intact. While the side of his face sustained damage, the part that houses his consciousness wasn’t damaged. His body, however … has stopped functioning. He has the gunshot to his chest, which has caused major functioning parts like his circulatory system to shut down as well as causing severe injury to what serves as his lungs. They’re flooded with fluid. He has many superficial injuries, but … His ribs are broken, as is his right hip, knee and ankle and his pelvis. His body has responded by shutting down, placing him in a coma of sorts until the body can be repaired and healed. The problem with this is … Well, we’ve never been able to successfully bring Exos out of something like this with damage as extensive as Cayde’s. We don’t have the technology or knowhow from The Golden Age.”

“W-what does that mean?” I asked.

Carmin gave us a sympathetic look. “It means, without the repairs, his body only has enough back up energy to keep his brain alive and hold his consciousness for about three days. When it runs out …”

“He dies,” I quietly managed, my voice cracking. I felt Zavala’s hand squeeze my shoulder as Ikora covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes tearing. I heard Holliday just beside us make a soft sobbing sound and turned enough to see Ikora reach out to her and pull her to her side, putting her arm around her. Petra had her head slightly bowed, her jaw hardened, hands fisted. 

We had hoped … We had really hoped it meant we had a chance. That he had a chance. 

“I’m very sorry,” Carmin quietly told us.

“Is he in any pain?” I managed, looking toward the still closed curtain.

“As far as we know,” she shook her head,”no. I wish I had better news,” she gently told us. “But we just don’t have the technology used in creating them to fix this level of injury.”

I felt ill and crouched down to the floor, trying to catch my breath, both Ikora and Zavala crouched down with me, hands on my shoulders and arms. They had known Cayde for years before I ever woke a Guardian. I felt like I should be stronger for them. Offering comfort to them. But I couldn’t find the strength I needed at that moment. I wasn’t naive. I knew they’d sensed a growing affection between Cayde and I. Knew they’d seen it. So I knew they understood my reaction. Still, I felt like I needed to be there for them and for Amanda. 

Somehow, I managed to get back to my feet and found myself with all of them at Cayde’s bedside, They had him laying peacefully on the bed, redressed in a simple white cotton tunic under the sheets. If he wasn’t so still, one would almost think, at any moment, he’d open his eyes and look over at us. 

But he didn’t. 

I softly started caressing his head, my hand following the ridge from his horn that created a sort of short mohawk design along the top and leaned down, kissing his brow. “We’re right here,” I softly whispered to him, choking back tears. I didn’t know if he could hear me, but I wanted him to know he wasn’t alone.

Ikora stepped up to him, taking his hand in hers, holding it tenderly as she set her other hand on his shoulder, looking down at him. Zavala went around to the other side, resting his hand on Cayde’s other shoulder, Amanda standing just beside him, hands clenched together. She looked afraid to touch Cayde. Like he might break even further if she did. 

“You had the worst jokes,” Ikora suddenly said to him, her eyes on Cayde’s face as Petra stepped up the the foot of the bed. I glanced up at Ikora and saw she was managing a tiny hint of a smile through her sadness. “Even worse timing,” she added, smiling a bit more as she looked at me. “I wanted to laugh,” she continued. “I really did.” She shook her head. “We should have been there.” My vision blurred and tears escaped, rolling down my cheeks. “This is not your fault,” Ikora assured, placing her hand on my back. “This … is on the head of Uldren Sov. And if he thinks what he’s done is the end, it’s not. It’s the beginning,” she continued, her voice growing harder., angry and determined. She looked back down at Cayde’s face. “We’re going to fight him,” she said, seemingly more so to Cayde than anyone. Then, her attention went to Zavala. “Do you hear me? All of us. Every Titan. Every Warlock. Every Hunter.” Zavala looked at her sadly, saying nothing. “We will take The Reef by storm!” Ikora added. “And then …”. She turned back to Cayde. “We will mount the head of that son of a bitch on his precious throne,” she vowed to him. 

“No.” Zavala’s reply was quiet. A bit choked. All of us looked up at him. I frowned, not understanding the reaction. 

“What did you say?” Ikora asked him, her features twisting in angry disbelief. 

“We are not an army,” Zavala quietly continued. “We are not conquerors. We are Guardians,” he said. His pained gaze drifted to me then back to Ikora. “We need to keep our eyes here. On our home. Our people. The Traveler. The Reef was lost the moment it lost its Queen.”

Petra winced and I saw her features twist in anger at Zavala but she managed to hold her tongue. “So if another Sov wants a piece of lifeless rocks …” Zavala continued, his eyes back to Cayde’s face. “Let him have it.” 

Petra’s face hardened and she turned and left the infirmary, my gaze following before going back to Cayde’s face.

“This is Cayde we’re talking about,” Ikora reminded as if nothing had transpired there. “For us to do nothing is … is …”

“Say it,” Zavala demanded, looking at her once more.

“Cowardice,” Ikora declared.

Zavala held her eyes for a few moments, then looked down at Cayde. “I refuse to bury any more friends,” he quietly replied, his tone sombre and slightly broken and I saw the subtle glimmer of unshed tears in his eyes. His words were belying what he was feeling and I got the sense there was a lot more to it than what Ikora was hearing and what Petra took offense to. But I couldn’t focus my mind on it. I couldn’t understand his reaction in the way I likely should have then. I was feeling a surge of defiance. Defiance against death. Cayde was still in there. I refused to believe there was no way to help him. If it were me laying here, he wouldn’t rest until he tried every possible way to save me. And I wasn’t going to rest until I tried everything to save him. 

That’s when something came to mind. Something Cayde had said to me one time when we were just laying back in the Hanger, talking. It was likely crazy and would lead nowhere, quite possibly very dangerous as well if it did. But it was something. And something, even if dangerous - even if holding the faintest glimmer of hope within it - was better than nothing. So I grabbed onto it and decided to take the chance. I leaned down and kissed Cayde’s brow one last time. “I love you, Little Firefly,” I softly whispered to him. “You hear me? I love you. And if you end up mad at me for this … if I find it and it works … I hope you can forgive me.”

I looked up to see Ikora and Zavala and Amanda all looking at me with questioning eyes. They’d heard what I’d said. “Aislin, what did you-” Zavala began, but I held up my hand. “The three of us need to talk. Privately. With Petra. Put everything else aside. We need to talk, now.” I looked down at Cayde one last time, then up at Zavala who gave a nod before my attention went to Amanda. “Stay with him,” I gently told her. “Stay with him and talk to him. He’d like that.”

She gave a little nod, wiping at her cheeks and one of the doctors from Carmin’s team brought a chair over for her as the rest of us left the room.

Ikora went to get Petra and brought her to a small conference room not far from the infirmary, where Zavala and I were waiting. I hadn’t said anything to him the entire time we were waiting, I just sat at the table beside him, my hand on his arm, thinking about things. About clues Cayde either knowingly or unknowingly hinted to me. Zavala didn’t comment on my hand on his arm. He just looked down at it, then back up at me, but said nothing. I think he knew I just needed the steadying feel of his presence right now. Maybe he needed mine, too.

When Ikora came in with Petra, I stood and Petra looked at me, seeming to deliberately ignore Zavala. “Cayde told me a lot of things,” I said to her. “Some were in just casual passing, mixed in with stories and recollections of things he’d been part of or done over the years. There was something he said to me once, and I didn’t think anything of it until now. About working with the Awoken and the Reef. About working with you. How … your people are very good at keeping secrets. And if there was ever anything important he needed to keep secret he didn’t trust to write down or record … he’d give it to Paladin Oran.” I saw her features immediately change, like something lit up in her mind. “Aislin …”. She shook her head. “That’s a very dangerous idea,” she said. “He wouldn’t want you to-” 

“He’s going to die, Petra!” I told her, my vision blurring as tears welled up again. I blinked a few times, clearing them and regaining my resolve. “If there’s a way to save him, that’s going to be it. Where is it?”

“Where’s what?” Ikora asked.

There was silence as I stared Petra down until, finally, she sighed. “The Deep Stone Crypt,” she uttered, her eye on mine, her features warning. 

“What?” Zavala asked, standing, looking at Petra accusingly, like information this important should have been known to him and not to her. Ikora also looked at Petra, taken aback. “But … It’s subroutine in their dreams. Not a -”

“No,” I told her. “It’s real.” I braced myself on the table. “Either something triggered his memory outright, or he went looking for it and found it with clues he left himself,” I said to them. “But he didn’t dare tell anyone that he had. Because he knows the danger. What Clovis Bray did to him and the other Exos. He didn’t want them doing it again if they were still out there. But he told you, didn’t he?” I said to Petra. She’d been the one person he knew he could trust outside of his circle that he wouldn’t worry about if something happened. “Just incase something went wrong and he lost his memory of it, or they got hold of him, he knew you could be trusted with it. Where is it?” I asked again. I could see she was weighing her options. Looking for some out. Another way. Anything. But then I saw her realize what I had. 

If we wanted to save Cayde, it was the best and only one we had.

Her shoulders settled some in defeat and she fixed me with a hard, cautionary look. “Enceladus.”

“A moon of Saturn?” Ikroa asked, frowning, looking to Zavala who narrowed his eyes.

“He gave his body to the ice, he once told me,” I said to them. “But it wasn’t the ice of Mars like others thought. Where we all thought the Exos came from because that’s where the Clovis Bray facility is - where their Exo program is on full display. It’s what they wanted people to think, wasn’t it?” I said to Petra. 

She took a seat at the table and sighed, resting her hands together on top of the table. “Cayde said to never trust Clovis Bray. That they were very good at hiding in plain sight. Making things look a certain way on the surface but, behind the bright facade of innovation was something much darker.”

“How long ago did he find it?” I asked Petra.

She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Has he been to it? Inside it?” I asked.

Again, she shook her head. “I don’t know.”

I frowned. 

Zavala looked me, maybe seeing something in my eyes. “I cannot allow you to go there -” 

“I wasn’t asking,” I told him, cutting him off, my features hardened and determined. I’d go through him if I had to. Vanguard Commander or not. Mentor or not. 

He frowned and reached out, placing his hand on my shoulder. “… alone,” he finished.

I noticed both Ikora and Petra surprised by the reaction from him. I was as well. I tilted my head, looking at him curiously. “May we have a moment?” Zavala asked Ikora and Petra. Ikora nodded and Petra stood, the two of them leaving the room. When they were gone, Zavala brought his attention back to me for a moment before his hand left my shoulder and he turned, taking a few steps away from me, hands going behind his back as he took a moment to gather the words he wanted to say. “You really love him, don’t you?” He quietly asked, then turned enough to look at me.

I nodded. “I do.”

He searched my face for a moment before looking away. “You know … I have been a Guardian for … nearly three hundred years now.” He took a careful breath and managed to look at me again. “Do not think I don’t understand love. And the pain that comes with losing that love,” he quietly told me. I leaned against the table and watched him for a moment. “Did they have a name?” I gently asked. A very faint, fond smile came to his lips as he looked off to the side, his eyes incredibly soft - the softest I’d ever seen them. “ … Isabelle,” he whispered. 

I smiled a little and noticed him blinking his eyes a little before clearing his throat. “What happened to her?” I carefully asked. 

He slowly turned his gaze to me and I actually watched his features twist a little in both pain and anger. “A war … long ago,” he quietly told me, his voice laced with that pain. “A casualty of an airstrike gone wrong.” His jaw tensed and he turned away for a moment clearing his throat again before resting his hands on the table, looking blankly down at its surface. “If there was a way to save her, no matter the cost, I would have done it,” he uttered. He took a deep breath and stood, straightening, and looked at me. “We cannot afford to wage a war. We’ve lost too many Guardians. The City is still being rebuilt. We are vulnerable. That’s why I refused Ikora’s wish to take the Reef for Uldren and his Barons. … Believe me, Aislin, I want to. … But we can’t.”

I nodded, understanding now. 

“However,” he continued, “Investigating a moon does not require an army.” He arched an eyebrow at me. “But you’ll still need help. Especially if it’s a Clovis Bray facility that may require special access to get inside.”

“Ana?” I asked.

He nodded. “If there is a way to save Cayde and it is there, I know you’ll find it,” he said, his hand going back to my shoulder.

I reached up and gave his hand a squeeze, nodding. “What stopped you from killing Petra?” I quietly asked. I saw a look pass over his features and I gave a little nod. Yes. I knew the war he was referring to.

“It’s not what Isabelle would have wanted,” he softly replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's chapter 2. I wanted to add in a possible backstory for Zavala to glean some insight into why he is the way he is with some things. I often pictured him a hard and unyielding man on the outside, but with something much deeper and meaningful on the inside. Hopefully this offers up something you all enjoy. More to come soon!


	3. Chapter 3

I spent some time with Cayde, alone, sitting beside his bed and holding his hand, petting it softly, my fingers tracing fine shimmering lines of teal - barely visible - that wove themselves through the soft deep gray silicone-like skin of his hand while I quietly talked to him. I occasionally caressed the side of his face that hadn’t been torn up from the fight, hoping that he couldn’t feel anything. That, wherever he was in his mind, it was a safe place and not riddled with nightmares. I wanted so much to see his eyes right now. To hear his laugh. Even if just for a moment. I lifted his hand to my lips and just held it there, closing my eyes for a while, caressing his forearm. I found myself recalling all the missions and patrols I’d been on when he’d be on the other end of the comms, cracking a joke or needling me about something, or bantering with Zavala or Hawthorn, even Devrim. The one that came foremost to mind was when he complained about not ever getting a tank. How many times now had I gotten to drive one? I shook my head. “When you wake up, one way or another, I’m getting you a tank,” I said him, chuckling a little around a few tears.

Soft footsteps behind me made me look over my shoulder and I saw Ana Bray coming in, giving a brief nod, her features solemn and sad as she approached, stepping up beside me. “Zavala and Ikora told me what happened.” she murmured, looking at Cayde. “I’m so sorry.”

“He’s still in there,” I told her. “We still have time.”

She nodded. “I’m going to help in anyway I can,” she assured.

 

It was hard to leave but Ana was here and we were running out of time. Zavala assured he, Ikora, and Amanda would stay with Cayde and update us on anything if needed while Ana and I went to investigate Enceladus. Petra thought she’d be of more use tracking down leads to find Uldren and the Barons, but would stay in contact.

When Ana and I came out of the jump, the icy rings of Saturn were shimmering against the light of the distant sun to our backs. The planet, itself was a swirl of browns and mustard yellow, with hints of green. Eerily beautiful in its own right. As we moved in closer, we could see the remaining wreckage of of Awoken and Hive ships from the final battle Queen Mara Sov put up against the Dreadnaught. The massive ship, itself, was still floating within the rings amongst numerous broken and derelict ships, now disabled, housing whatever remaining Hive survived The Taken War that hadn’t abandoned ship to Titan. 

“I hadn’t ever come in this close,” Ana uttered, looking out the window. “What was it like on there?” She asked.

I had nightmares for weeks after,” I told her. “Not that I’d never faced the Hive before. It was the feeling that place gave off. Like on Luna. When you’d go down deep. Get close to their magic. There was this sensation it created. A low, unsettling vibration all though your body you seemed to feel in your soul. Made you cold. Made you feel hollow.”

Ana was quiet for a few moments after that, then asked: “How did you manage to get on board?”

I softly smiled, the question bringing back memories of the first time Cayde and I worked together in some capacity. His voice over the comms had actually set me at ease in that horrid place. He always seemed to know how to keep the mood light and joke about things so it didn’t get too dark and depressing in there. Too terrifying. “Cayde had an old stealth drive hidden away. I retrieved it and he got Holliday to wire it up to Eris Morns ship. Of course, Eris didn’t know. And Zavala didn’t know Cayde was sneaking Ghost and I on board to set up a transmat zone.” I chuckled. “He got in so much trouble,” I fondly recalled. “Eris, unfortunately, never forgave him for stealing her ship, which got destroyed in the process of me getting on board. And Zavala had him buried in report filing for a week. Which … Well, Cayde filed everything wrong and made little paper airplanes out of most of the files. Completely exasperated Zavala to the point he realized it was better to just take him off that and let him go back to his regular job than deal with the mess.”

“Cayde did that on purpose, didn’t he?” Ana smiled. “To get out of doing the reports?”

“Of course,” I smirked. 

My eyes eventually shifted away from the Dreadnaught as we circled away from that side of the planet, coming around to where Enceladus held orbit. It was a lot smaller than I’d expected it to be. Insignificant, really. Several could fit inside Earths moon. It looked like a tiny ball of ice just drifting by. Something no one would think of being anything important. A perfect hiding place for something just the opposite.

“Is that it?” Ana asked as we got closer. I nodded as Ghost appeared over my shoulder. I opened the channels to see if I could pick up any signals and checked the radar systems, but they were all quiet. “Nothing,” I said. “No signals, no signs of life, or any activity at all. It’s reading as dead.” I looked back out the window at it. It was dark, the shadow of Saturn nearly blocking out all light from the surface. “Just a ball of ice.” I frowned and decided to test out getting closer curious if there was something there and if defense systems were in place.

I brought the ship in low over the surface, seeing nothing but a sea of grey and black shimmer from the cold surface and jagged icy mountains, nothing reading on any of the scanners. “WAIT!” Ghost suddenly sputtered, turning back to look out the window. “There!” Ana looked out the window, searching for what he saw as I turned the ship in the direction he was looking and brought it back around. “Right down there,” Ghost said, blinking as he bobbed down a bit to motion where he was looking. “Do you see it?” I tilted the ship to the right as we circled, squinting my eyes. “I see it!” Ana said. “Right there!” She pointed just below us and I noticed the faint outline of something darker than the rest of the surface. A spire of some kind. Ghost looked at the displays on the panel. “It says … there’s oxygen?” He told us, sounding bewildered by that. 

“It’s a dead moon. There shouldn’t be any atmosphere,” I said, looking at the readouts. Sure enough, though, they were reading oxygen on the surface. Ghost and I looked at each other. “I’m going to set us down nearby,” I told them, bringing the ship back around once more, settling us under the cover of an icy glacier drift. I checked the readouts one more time as I got up from my seat. There was no mistaking them. They read oxygen present. I put my helmet on, just incase, noticing Ana doing the same. We checked our weapons then I pressed the release button on the door, the hatch slowly dropping down into a ramp. As I stepped off I checked the readings displaying on the inside of my helmet and got the same as the ship. “You getting the same readings I am?” I asked Ana. 

She nodded. “Yeah.” Jinju, her Ghost, appeared and looked around.

“Ghost? Are you reading the same thing, too?”

“Yes,” he said. “But I can’t tell for sure. I don’t breathe.” He looked around and over at Jinju who seemed to give a shrug. “In that case, there’s only one way to know for sure,” I said and unclipped my helmet and pulled it off, Ana watching. I felt the frigid sting of the cold against my skin, my eyes immediately starting to water. I took a tentative breath and sure enough, there was oxygen on the surface. I looked at Ana, Jinju, and Ghost and nodded, then pulled my helmet back on. It made no sense. How was there oxygen without any atmosphere? I started walking toward the spire about a hundred yards ahead of us, rising up from the ice. It stood on a massive rounded platform a couple hundred feet across, made of glossy black metal tiles with huge hydraulic arms that appeared to attach to a doorway that was sealed into the base. The arms bent up and attached to the spire that stood a few hundred feet toward the sky, metal platforms and ladders running up along its side. As we got closer, I noticed there were signal boosters and antennas sticking out in a few places around the platform, as well as what looked like ventilation pipes. “Whatever we’re looking for is under the ice,” I said, looking around. 

“If this is the Crypt and it’s buried under us … Could that be the Dark Tower?” Ghost asked, looking up to the top of the spire. 

“Not an actual tower,” I told him, looking up as I shook my head. “But if this is Deep Stone, then I suppose this would appear to be a tower in a dream to draw them back here. Or at least remembered as one by anyone who only has flashes of memory.” I looked around. “What about that?” I asked Ana. “That looks like a doorway, doesn’t it?” I said of the slab that was set into the platform and attached to hydraulics for sliding it back and up out of the way. 

Ana stared at it for a few moments, using the optic enhancement lenses in her eyes to make out any substructure. She yelped suddenly and staggered back, dropping to her knee, holding her helmet in pain. “Ana!” I hurried closer to her and crouched down, Junju twitching beside her in worry. “What happened? You alright?”

“Yeah,” she said, wincing. “Something caused feedback. Stopped me from scanning.”

I frowned and checked the comms. “The signals are dead,” I told her, looking at the antennas around the platform. She looked at me and tried her own getting the same thing. “Whatever this is, Deep Stone or not, it’s still active to some capacity. It’s blocking outside signals and scanners,” I said.

She nodded in agreement and we decided to split up and make our way around the platform, looking for a way inside. 

Ghost got closer to the structure, scanning the tiles to see if there was a secret way in not readily visible. “Careful,” I told him. "No telling what this thing does, if anything.” I walked around a little ways in the opposite direction of Ghost, getting close enough to touch the tiles. I looked at seams, where one structure merged into another, down around the base; looking for anything that appeared to be a way in. I was tempted to pull a Cayde and just start shooting it to see if it revealed something.

“Aislin! Over here!” Ghost called. I went back around to where he was and saw him bobbing to a spot where the ice met the tiles. “Down there,” he told me, lighting up a spot where the tiles disappeared under the ice. “There’s something there. It seems to be a panel of some kind.” I pulled an ice pick out of my pack and started chipping away at the ice. It was down a few inches but I finally cleared it away enough to see what was there. Ghost illuminated the area as I brushed ice dust away from the panel and saw the unmistakable tiny white ‘CB’ symbol of Clovis Bray on it. “Ana! We found something!” I called.

Ana hurried over from where she was and crouched down beside me, Jinju floating down closer to see what Ghost had been looking at on the panel. “Looks like a security panel.” Jinju said. Ana reached down and popped the cover off to see a keypad. “Good thing I came prepared,” she said, and pulled out a small hacking terminal to get the key code, hooking it in the terminal and went to work.

I waited off to the side with Ghost staring up at the spire. “Are you alright?” Ghost quietly asked me. 

“I keep thinking about Cayde,” I told him. “Coming here. Wondering if he came here because he chose it, if it was desperation, or if he was forced somehow. Wondering what he was thinking when he looked up at this place. What he was feeling … What he was leaving behind,” I quietly told him.

Ghost floated over and settled on my shoulder. I set my hand on him for a moment in thanks for the offer of comfort. “I honestly can’t imagine him in a human body,” Ghost remarked. “Can you?”

I smiled. “Kind of,” I admitted. “But I prefer the Exo version. There’s something about him I find undeniably cute.” I sensed Ghost rolling his eye. “So?” He asked. “What do you think he looked like?”

I took a moment to gather the image in my mind. “Similar build to what he has now. Not tall, though. I can’t imagine him tall for some reason. Beautiful blue eyes holding a hint of mischief. Short brown hair with a fiery reddish tint. A bright, playful smile with a hint of scruff. Full of energy, of course.”

“Hmm. You know, I can see it,” Ghost admitted. 

I smirked. 

There was a loud, hollow clang of metal and a low rumble of grinding stone and concrete just before a cry of triumph from Ana. “Got it!” The icy ground under my feet shook a little with the weight of the massive door moving back on the hydraulic arms. Ana and Jinju came over to us and watched as the platform slowly opened. Out of habit, I had my sidearm already in hand, not sure if there was anything that might come out at us or not. 

When the doorway was fully open, a large platform elevator rose up out of it and clicked into place. I made my way up to it and looked it over. 

“Looks like this is our way in,” Ana said, joining me as I stepped onto it. I pressed a button on the side and there was a little jerk as it released and started lowing us down inside, the dark walls around us softly lit with tiny white lights along a track. I looked up as the green-tinted night sky got further and further away.

We got down what I guessed was around five stories and the elevator shaft opened up to reveal a large open room of pristine light gray metal walls and darker gray grated meal flooring. The space opened up into a long hallway in front of us with white stenciled lettering above it that read: ‘Clovis Bray Exo-Science Labs’. Lighting was concealed behind panels on the walls and along the ceiling, as well as the edges of the floor along the hallway leading to a sealed metal door at the end. There was a small monitor screen attached to an anchored arm on the wall just beside the entrance to the hallway on the right and I noticed a black and yellow caution line was horizontally painted halfway up the wall, following it around and down the hallway.

I looked at Ana then slowly made my way down the hall to the doors. As I approached, they made a click and slid open with a soft hiss. 

The metal walls became light gray concrete and the floor appeared to be some kind of deep green marble with large diamond shaped metal grated panels for the ceiling. The space opened up to a large room with another hallway in front of us on the other side, flanked by large rectangular windows that seemed to be security stations, monitoring people as they came in. We went over to one of the stations and Ana hacked her way in past the key code panel and sat down at one of the computers, booting it up. “Let’s see if this can tell us what’s here …” she said.

I walked a little way down the hall beyond the security check point and looked around and in some double pained windows, the room on the other side almost completely dark. I tapped on the glass, the sound more like a solid plastic against the hard knuckles of my gloves. “Huh,” I uttered. “Reinforced polycarbonate. Unbreakable,” I said to Ghost who was looking in the window as well. 

“These labs look similar to the ones we found on Mars,” he told me. I leaned closer and peered in. He was right. There was high-tech scientific equipment and machinery, work stations and tables, computers, that sort of stuff. But what really stood out were the Exo bodies I noticed hanging from racks suspended form the ceiling. Just hanging there like someone had suits hung in a closet. The same thing was on Mars. And, just like those, they were headless. What was different, I noticed, even in the darkened lab, was that the bodies didn’t appear as robotic as the others. These ones were more human. Like Cayde’s. Maybe even Banshee’s. Although, the hands on these ones were jointed silicone like Cayde’s, where Banshee had jointed metal hands. “Are those … Wow. Those are … anatomically correct, aren’t they?” Ghost asked. I arched an eyebrow. Indeed, they were. “Why would you make war machines with such human qualities?” Ghost asked.

“You wouldn’t,” I told him, and moved to step away, heading back to Ana to see if she’d had any luck. 

“You don’t think they were war machines?” Ghost asked me.

I shook my head. “Maybe some. Maybe the very early ones. Maybe that was the original plan. I don’t know. But Exos like Cayde and even Banshee and Shiro?” I shook my head. “I can’t imagine them war machines. Why make them so human? The stuff needed to make them feel human in their minds could be programmed in to stop the DER effect. But making the bodies human like that? And in varying types? Cayde is built small and lithe. Banshee broader shoulders and chest - a little heavier. And Shiro? Shiro looks like he bench-presses four hundred pounds and jogs a few miles every morning. You want war machines, you build them tough and as indestructible as possible, not with bodies like those.”

“What for then?” He asked. 

I stopped walking and frowned. “I don’t know what Clovis Bray intended, but me? If I were making something like that?” I said, gesturing over my shoulder back at the lab. “The only reason I’d be making bodies like that is if I intended to abandon my old one and live in that one. Maybe they started out as Clovis Bray’s attempt to give people who were dying or severely injured new lives. But, me, I think they were more a shot at giving humanity a better chance at surviving out in space for long periods of time, where human bodies can break down, or not survive temperature changes, atmosphere, gravity, or hostile alien races. It gave them a far better shot. I also think it’s a rather strange coincidence they are called Exos and the ships departing earth around that time had names with Exodus in them.”

Ghost sputtered as he considered that. “So … you think Cayde may have been an astronaut?”

I shook my head and chuckled. “Cayde? An astronaut? No. Can you imagine him in a confined space like a ship for too long? He’d go insane. Plus … well, you know science like that wouldn’t be his forte. No. There are things he wrote about and remembers pieces of that make me think something else happened there. Something on the darker side.”

“What did he remember?” Ghost asked.

I shook my head. “That’s not for me to tell you. But what I got out of it was the feeling that Clovis Bray saw another opportunity for Exos and took it. I mean, hey, if you have a bunch of people who’s memories you can wipe, why not do a few illegal things with them and then delete the memories? Then you can’t get caught.”

“Hey! I think I found what you’re looking for!” Ana called.

I made my way to the security office and saw Ana had taken her helmet off so she could see the monitors more easily as she hacked into the systems. I unclipped mine and pulled it off as well, feeling the chill in the space. I shivered, setting my helmet down on the table, and looked at the monitor she was working from. “What did you find?”

She pointed at the screen showing a schematic of the underground facility, divided into levels, each one a specific function in the Exo program. “Third level down. Looks like a medical wing. Maybe it’ll have stuff there to fix Cayde?”

“How do we get to it?” I asked.

“Down the end of the hall should be an elevator,” she said. “Also, check this out.” She pulled up another level on the monitor showing the base levels and what looked like huge piping that went from the bottom of the facility down into the core of the moon. “They’re pulling up the raw metals and silicates from the core,” she said. “But that’s not all. I found something labeled CAT-GEN-55. It’s something they pump into the metal and silicates while they’re still hot and liquid.” She turned from the monitor and looked at me. “Whatever it is, it changes the metal and silicates on a molecular level. It makes them alive.”

I blinked. “I’m sorry, what?” Ghost and I actually said at the exact same time.

She nodded, her expression one of awe. “It … Imagine taking your body as it is, only, pretend, instead of skin and bones and tissue and all that, it was different types of metals and silicates. You’d be alive, your tissues would be living … But, instead of being carbon based, you’d be metal based. Or silicate based. Hmm.” She pondered that. “I’ll have to look into it more. But that’s basically what it does.”

“Wait. So are you saying Cayde … Not just his brain - his consciousness - but his actual body is alive? Like, alive, alive? The metal of his body is …. living tissue?” I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. How was that even possible? What the hell was CAT-GEN 55 that it could do that?!

She gave a slow nod. “Yeah. All Exos, in fact. Well, the newer ones. The older, more metal bodied ones don’t seem to have it. They’re more like robots and, as far as I know, they all died out from going insane. All that’s left of them are empty shells.”

I sat down in shock. “That’s why they can feel pain. Why they feel anything the way they do. The way we do. They aren’t just sensing things, they really feel them? But … being what they are, it allows them to take more than a human body ever could.”

She nodded. “I …”. She shook her head. “It doesn’t seem like it should be possible and I’ve never seen anything like this before. Never even heard of it. But … they did it. Somehow, they did it.”

“Holy shit,” Ghost uttered, Ana, Jinju, and I looking up at him in surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but Ghost swearing there just seemed perfect and I'm still so amused by the voice recording Nolan North did of him saying 'Twinkle, twinkle, asshole!'. LOL! 
> 
> Anyway, there's chapter 3. Hope you're still enjoying it! As always, questions and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

Ana was right. The third level was the medical wing. It was quite different from the main level. Simple scientific equipment gave way to far more advanced medical equipment, robotics, and scanners, as well as medpods and other things I had no idea what they were. Everything was sterile and white, too. It was almost blinding with the lights, taking my eyes what seemed forever to adjust to.

There were large robotic arms that dropped down from the ceiling around a cylindrical tube that housed a bed on a slider. I went over to it and looked inside seeing three different kinds of smaller arms, each looking like it served a more articulate function. Deep inside the tube there seemed to be some kind of MRI device where the head would go, lit up in soft blue lights. Various monitors surrounded the area on the walls, each looking like it controlled the function of the arms and monitored what was going on inside the tube. “Ana, is this what I’m looking for?” I asked her over the comm. 

“Checking now,” she told me. “Just give me a sec … There’s just so many files in here … Ah! Yeah. That looks like it. Do you see tubes going out the back of the machine?”

I moved to the back and checked. “Yeah. One’s gray with a blue line and the other’s white.”

“That’s it, then. Check the monitors to the arms. I’m going to bring them online.”

I heard a beeping sounds come from each monitor as they came on, the Clovis Bray symbol turning on the screens as they loaded. “Looks like they’re coming on,” I told her. 

“Okay. Good. So … What I’m gathering is, the big arms are for fixing heavier damage and the smaller ones inside the tube are for more intricate surgical procedures,” Ana explained.

“Are we sure this is for an Exo?” I asked.

“It looks that way. Hang on. … Okay, there should be a lab to your right.”

I looked. “Yeah.”

“Doors unlocked. Should be a couple Exo shells inside. Maybe take one out and damage it then run it though and see if it works?” Ana offered. 

“Not a bad idea,” Ghost said as I nodded. 

After getting a shell, I dragged it out. “Does it not having a head matter?” I asked.

“I don’t think so. We’ll find out,” Ana said.

I shrugged and loaded my canon then aimed it at the chest and fired, the sound echoing all around as black blood splattered and oozed out onto the otherwise pristine floor.

“Well, that left a mess,” Ghost commented.

I nodded then put my gun away and grabbed the right ankle. I looked down at the shell and sighed. “Sorry,” I told it, as I placed my foot right down into its groin and gave a good, solid yank to the leg, dislocating the hip … And likely crushing its balls in the process.

“I suppose … we’ll see if it can fix them, too?” Ghost offered.

“Considering he isn’t using them, I’m not going to worry about them too much,” I told Ghost as I picked the shell up and carried it over to the cylinder, pulling the bed out and laying it on top. “Okay, Ana. Only a couple of the injuries Cayde sustained, but this should tell us if it can fix them.”

“Starting it up,” she said. “You might want to stand back.”

A female robotic voice suddenly spoke as one arm rose and slowly moved from where the head would be down to the feet, scanning the body. “Working …. Working … Shell diagnostic complete. Found issues: Outer casing damage, torso. Interior casing damage, torso. Circulatory damage, severe. Lung damage, severe. Hip displacement, right. Severe. Testicular damage, severe. Do you wish to proceed with repair?”

“Did I hear ‘testicular damage’?” Ana asked over the comm.

“I had to dislocate the hip. Some things got crushed in the process,” I told her.

“Do you wish to proceed with repair?” The voice asked again.

“Yes,” I said.

“Repairing,” the voice said, as the arms started moving, holding the body in place and opening up the hip to realign it and set it back into the socket with an almost sickening click and crunch before a different arm came over and sealed the opening, making it look as if nothing had ever happened. 

“Do you see that?” Ghost whispered.

I nodded.

Next, the bed was pulled into the tube as it lit up, the smaller arms going to work fixing the chest and … other area. The little arms worked quickly, the tiny, needle-like fingers moving back and forth at such a rapid speed you could barley see them. They quickly restructured and healed all the damage working from the inside out. When they were done, the lights dimmed and the bed slid out. “Repairs complete,” the voice said.

“That only took …. two minutes,” Ghost said as we went over and looked at the shell.

It was in perfect condition. Like nothing had happened to it at all.

“Ana … are you seeing this?” I asked.

“Yeah. That’s … That’s incredible,” she uttered. “Do you know how many Exos this could help who don’t have Ghosts?” She asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. But that’s a discussion for another time. We need to get Cayde here,” I said as I got the shell off the bed and put it back in the lab. “I’m going to go into orbit to open the comms. Will you be okay here alone for a bit?”

“Tons of Golden Age tech in an old family facility that, until now, has been just a myth? Yeah, I think I’ll be fine for a bit,” Ana told me, a smirk in her tone.

 

Within an hour, Zavala and Ikora had Cayde with them and met me in Saturns orbit where I guided them down to the moons surface. When we landed, Zavala carried Cayde off the ship, Ikora at his side. They both paused, looking up at the spire, quietly speaking on it for a brief moment but I didn’t really hear their words, my attention was on Cayde. They had wrapped him in a heavy dark brown fur blanket and, in Zavala’s arms, he seemed so small. I reached out and caressed his forehead. “Let’s get him inside,” I told them.

We brought Cayde down to the third level while Ana remained at the computers, able to monitor what was going on. Zavala noticed the black splatter on the floor as we brought Cayde over to the bed and arched an eyebrow at me. “I ran a practice one through to make sure it’d work,” I told him. He gave a nod. “We have to get everything off him,” I told them as I moved the blanket aside and carefully took Cayde from Zavala’s arms. He handed it to Ikora as I set Cayde down on the bed and worked to get the infirmary gown off him, laying him down. My eyes wandered to his chest, the bullet having left a ripped hole right in the center while on his left side the skin was actually torn, showing the mesh and interior structure of his body underneath. “It’s going to be okay,” I whispered to him, my eyes tearing, unable to stop them. I gently held his face in my hands and pressed my forehead to his. “I promise. It’ll be okay.” I said, not sure who I was trying to reassure at that point, him or myself. 

I made sure he was laying properly then backed away over to Ikora and Zavala, feeling Ikora set her hand on my arm. “Run it, Ana.”

The arm rose up and ran the scan. “Working,” the voice said. 

After making an initial pass over him, the arm went back over a second time, going slower. “Working,” it repeated.

When the arm finished the scan, it folded back. “Diagnostics complete. Found issues: Fractured facial plate, left. Fractured jaw, left. Fractured eye socket, left. Circulatory damage. Internal hemorrhaging. Collapsed lung, left. Shattered sternum. Fractured ribs, left. Numbers four, five, seven. Fractured ribs, right. Numbers two, three. Fractured hip, right. Fractured knee, right. Fractured ankle, right. Fractured pelvis. Do you wish to initiate repairs?” 

“Y-yes,” I managed.

"Repairing," the voice said.

I didn’t realize I was shaking until I felt Zavala’s arm go around my shoulders, steadying me. I couldn’t tell if the shaking was more from worry if Cayde was going to be alright, or of it was knowing just how bad the injuries were and the rage I felt toward those who caused them. Ikora’s hand carefully squeezed around my arm and I got the sense she was trying to tell me to let it go. To just focus on Cayde right now. There would be a time for anger later.

I closed my eyes as the repairs were made. I didn’t think I could stand watching it. Instead, I focused on something else. 

My mind ended up drifting to one evening at the apartment. I’d spent the day bouncing through portals and taking out Vex and dozens upon dozens of simulated Hive, Cabal, and Fallen with a couple other Guardians while wandering the Infinite Forest. I was exhausted and my feet were sore; the hot shower I’d taken hadn’t done much to make them feel better. Cayde had come over. I’d thrown on a pair of black leggings and a long black off the shoulder sweatshirt, coming out to see him kicked back on the couch, barefoot, having changed into civilian clothes for the evening - a pair of brown ranger pants and a knitted cream top. He was eating a sandwich, another one on a plate nearby set out for me, and watching an old movie. I noticed it was Tombstone and smiled. “Watching this again, hm?” I asked him as I sat down on the couch beside him. “Whaff? Ah luff diff,” he managed around a mouthful of sandwich. I chuckled and laid my head back for a bit with a smile. “You’re definitely a Doc Holliday,” I told him, then picked my right foot up and rubbed the arch, wincing. Next thing I knew, he’d set his plate down, wiped his hands off, and reached over, taking my foot into his lap and started gently massaging it. I was going to tell him he didn’t have to do that but it felt so good, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. “Eat your sandwich,” he dotingly told me as his fingers worked. 

About halfway through eating, he motioned me to give him my other foot, then started working on that one. By the time the movie was over, I’d finished the sandwich and thanked him for making it and he’d finished with my feet and gave me a nod, then turned to me, looking at me carefully. “I have a question for you,” he said. 

I nodded. “What is it?” I’d asked. 

“This is a serious one, okay?” He said, his tone taking on the air of something very important he needed to ask me.

I sat up a little straighter and nodded, giving him my full attention. 

He looked nervous for a moment, then leaned a little closer to me and whispered: “Should I grow a mustache?”

I hit him in the face with a pillow, laughing.

 

“Assessing cerebral lock.” 

The computerized voice pulled me out of the memory and I opened my eyes. “Preparing for cognitive cerebral-neurological reestablishment,” it said. The interior of the cylinder flashed around his head, scanning him again. “Pathways clear,” the voice informed. Two syringes came out from panels on either side of Cayde’s head, each containing a different colored glowing liquid. One was white, the other a soft blue. They lowered to either side of his head at the base of his skull and pierced his neck, emptying the contents of both syringes, then pulled back and folded into the panels. “Cerebral connection initiated. Neural connection commencing,” the voice said. The scanner on the cylinder lit up again and the monitors around the bed showed a detailed digital close up of Cayde’s brain on one, his full body on the other. 

Suddenly, his brain lit up and trickles of light flowed down the nerve endings that led down the back of his neck and spine and through his body in soft tendrils. As the bed slid back out toward us, Cayde’s body twitched, little movements from his fingers and his toes, a slight jerk from his right shoulder as whatever was injected started triggering his body, reconnecting it to his mind.

“Cayde?” I said, going over to the side of the bed. “Can you hear me?”

His eyes suddenly snapped open and he blinked. Zavala and Ikora came over, Ikora laying the blanket over him as she did. “Cayde?” I tried again.

His blue eyes turned toward me and stared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know. I'm evil for leaving it there for now. Sorry-not-sorry! More to come soon!


	5. Chapter 5

Cayde stared at me for a moment then started blinking again before wincing, his hands going up to grab at his head as he carefully sat up with a long, deep groan. “Ooooooh, who hit me in the head?” He uttered. I stepped back and tentatively watched him, afraid to move. As much as I wanted to, I found I just couldn’t.

“Cayde?” Ikora said as she and Zavala stepped up closer to the bed, setting their hands on him, looking him over carefully. “Oh, hey guys,” he managed, sounding like he had a really bad headache, rubbing at the back of his neck. 

“Are you - are you alright?” Zavala asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Cayde managed. “Just one hell of a heada-” He paused, He saw how they were looking at him and frowned. “What?” He asked, looking back at them nervously. 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Ikora asked him.

“Uuh … I was a huge fireball and then some concrete came down and squashed me,” Cayde offered, then frowned at them and blinked, shaking his head. “Wait. Where-where’d you guys come from?” He asked, as if it just dawned on him something was off.

Zavala cleared his throat. “You were saying you were a … fireball?”

“Oh, yeah!” Cayde lightly chuckled, then closed one eye, making a face, as the over enthusiasm apparently sent a sharp pain through his head. “You shoulda seen it, Big Guy,” he added, a bit more carefully. “Oh-ho, man … That was … that was glorious! The look on Petra’s face!” He chuckled again, instantly regretting it, pressing the heel of his hand to his temple. “Ow.” 

“Do you remember anything after that?” Zavala quietly asked, his hand going to Cayde’s shoulder.

Cayde took a moment then carefully shook his head. “No. Why?” That’s when he looked at Zavala’s hand on his shoulder, apparently having registered the glove on skin contact, realizing he had nothing on save the fur blanket Ikora had laid over him. He carefully lifted the blanket, looking under it, then quickly covered himself back up. “Why am I naked?” He asked them just before noticing me out of the corner of his eye. “Ais? Kiddo, why are you crying?” He asked, seeming to forget his headache, looking more worried for me than anything. 

Zavala and Ikora looked at me, too, just as I opened my mouth … but nothing came out.

“Hey, hey,” Cayde whispered. “Come’ere.” He reached out and took my hand, tugging me out of my fixed spot just beside him. I ended up grabbing onto him and hugging him as tight as I could, sobbing quietly with relief into his shoulder as I sat on the bed next to him. I felt his arms immediately go around me, warm and reassuring, one hand at the back of my head, softly petting my hair. “What. Happened?” He asked again, and I could tell it was directed at Ikora and Zavala. His tone had lost all the light-heartedness it held before. It wasn’t angry, but it was urgent and serious. A rare thing for Cayde. Obviously he recognized something really bad had happened.

Zavala and Ikora took their time and gently explained the events of the last eight hours based off what Petra and I had told them. Then, Ikora sat down on the edge of the bed on his other side, settling her hand on his back, and, as carefully as she could, told him Sundance was gone. I felt him tense at the news, not breathing for a moment, and forced myself to pull myself together, regaining my strength for him. I sat up a little straighter and leaned my head against the side of his as I felt him press his face into my shoulder.

We sat like that for a while, no one saying anything, just knowing Cayde needed the silence. I could feel Ikora’s hand gently rubbing his back and Zavala’s strong presence next to us.

Eventually he took a careful breath and let it out. “How … how am I in one piece, then?” He finally asked against my shoulder. I swallowed with effort and caressed the back of his head. “Um … This is on me, okay? So … don’t be mad at Zavala and Ikora,” I said. “Or Petra.”

He eased back and looked at me, confused. “Ais …?”

“It was the only way to save you. If I didn’t … you were going to die,” I told him, watching as his eyes left my face and he finally started looking around the space. “Ais, where are we?” He asked and I could tell by his tone he had a sneaking suspicion but didn’t want me to confirm it.

Once again, I carefully swallowed, feeling a tightness in my stomach that made me feel ill. “Enceladus,” I finally uttered, so carefully and quietly, even I barely heard my own voice. His head snapped back to me, his eyes a bit wide, and I wasn’t sure if I should back away or not. “I’m … I’m sorry,” I told him. “I’m so sorry. It was the only thing I could think of to save you.” My bottom lip trembled and I started shaking, without any way to stop it. “I couldn’t lose you, Cayde.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry.” 

“I authorized it,” Zavala suddenly cut in. I looked up at him, opening my mouth to protest, when he set his hand on my shoulder and shook his head at me in a way that told me to just be quiet as he turned this attention back to Cayde, fixing him with a pointed look. “You were worth the risk,” he told him. “Especially to Aislin.”

That was when I realized Cayde hadn’t let me go. His arms were still around me and he was looking at me again, his expression unreadable. I looked back at him but I didn’t know what else I could say. 

“Can Ais and I have a minute?” Cayde asked them. “Alone” he added. 

Both Ikora and Zavala looked at me but I nodded without taking my eyes from Cayde’s and motioned for them to go ahead out.

Cayde frowned and I opened my mouth to say I was sorry again, when he shook his head. “Don’t … Don’t say anything,” he told me in that same serious tone that was so out of character. It worried me but I did as he asked and stayed quiet. 

To my surprise, he pulled me back against him and held me close. 

I didn’t know what else to do so I held him in return. 

After a long while, he finally spoke. “Tell me what happened,” he quietly asked. “The part I don’t remember. Tell me what happened down there.”

I took a slow breath and let it out, closing my eyes. “I wasn’t there … when they got Sundance,” I softly told him. “I was up above trying to get down to you. I felt your Light. Went right through me.” I settled my chin on his shoulder. “I fought my way down. I don’t know what they were. Some kind of Fallen, but not-”

“Scorn,” Cayde murmured. 

I turned my head toward his. “You know what they are?”

He nodded. “Keep going.”

I took another careful breath and let it out. “You were laying on the floor on Deck Zero. Uldren had shot you with your own gun. Right in the chest. The Barons were behind him, waiting to get to the escape pods. The door closed and they got away before I could do anything. And I didn’t care. I just … I saw you and …” I closed my eyes.

“Tell me,” he gently coaxed and I felt his hand caressing the back of my head. It caused tears all over again. I felt like I was going to be sick. The tension, the sadness, the anger, the fear - everything I’d been wrestling with and kept pushing down to focus solely on saving him was hitting me, so I just tried to breathe instead of talking.

“That bad, huh?” He carefully asked.

“They hurt you,” I finally said, finding my voice again. “They broke your body and left you there to suffer,” I managed, feeling my jaw tighten in anger so hard it hurt and made me shake. “And I couldn’t do a god damn thing except hold you until I thought you were gone. And even then … even then, I held you … cause I promised you I’d never let you go,” I told him. His arms tightened around me and I shook my head, easing back to look at his face. His eyes were shifting back and forth and alight with a thousand emotions swirling within them. “I should have told you,” I whispered, bringing my hands around to softly caress his chest, looking down at it as I did. “A long time ago.” I lifted my head to look back into his eyes. “I should have told you how much you mean to me … How much I-” 

He lifted a finger to my lips, gently shushing me, and looked at me for a moment more, then curled his finger under my chin and eased me closer until his lips were on mine in a very soft, warm, tender kiss that belied the hard appearance of the metal of his face. My eyes closed with a soft sigh and I moved my hands to his cheeks holding them lovingly as I kissed him back, every last ounce of the tension and fear I’d held onto slowly leaving me. I melted into him, feeling his arms back around me as he briefly deepened the kiss, then gently eased back, ending it, and pressed his forehead to mine, careful of his horn.

“You’re not mad?” I murmured, eyes still closed, stroking his cheeks with my fingers.

“Furious,” Cayde replied, but there was a smile in his voice before he lifted his head and looked at me. “But not at you,” he added and I looked at him, not understanding. He reached up and moved my hair away from my cheek, caressing it softly. “I get it, Ais,” he quietly told me. “I get it. If it had been different, if it had been reversed … I’d have opened the gates of hell to save you and let the world be damned,” he confessed. 

My eyes brimmed with tears all over again when I heard that.

“Oh, don’t cry,” he said, managing a light chuckle as he eased the tears away with his thumb. “That was meant to make you feel better. Guess I’ll have to work on that.”

I laughed a little then outright hugged him for all he was worth, feeling him hug me back just as tight. 

 

We sat there together in warm silence, just holding each other, listening to each other breathe. I could hear the light, steady, and slightly unusual sound his heart made in his chest from where my head was resting beside his chin. It was a soft, rhythmic sound, not unlike a human heart, but more swishy sounding. Like water being pushed though a pump rather than the steady beat of a muscle. It was a soothing sound, though, not unsettling. I gently laid my palm over the sound, right where Uldren had shot him, and let my middle finger slowly trace the curve of his peck, from the top near his collar bone, down into the faint crease of the middle of his chest. I felt him take in a slow, deep breath as I did, then carefully let it out, holding me a little tighter. “I thought I’d lost you,” I whispered. 

I felt him nod and carefully lay his head against mine. “I’m sorry I didn’t … I didn’t tell you how I felt sooner,” he murmured.

“Don’t be,” I told him. “I’m just as guilty for not saying anything.”

“I was … scared of screwing something up,” he continued anyway. “You know I ain’t … I ain’t all that great with some things. And I usually manage to piss people off and drive them away. Eventually.”

I shook my head and rubbed his chest. “My Little Firefly …” I murmured, easing out from under his chin to look at him. I lovingly took his face in my hands and caressed his cheeks with my thumbs. “I’m always going to be right by your side,” I assured him.

I felt his cheeks move in a way that indicated a soft smile, even though his eyes seemed a bit sad. I pulled him back into a hug and held him for a while, breathing him in, letting myself know he was okay. 

Letting myself know he was alive.

He suddenly shivered and I rubbed his back. “Cold?” I asked.

“Exos don’t get cold,” he murmured.

I eased back and looked at him.

He looked from side to said, then frowned. “Freezing, actually,” he admitted, seeming bewildered by that fact. 

I wasn’t sure what to make of his reaction in that moment, but I nodded. “I think Zavala and Ikora brought you some clothes. Be right back,” I told him and went to get them.

When I came back, Cayde was sitting on the edge of the bed, feet dangling just above the floor, the fur blanket now wrapped around nearly his entire body. He was hunched over and looked like he was shivering. I hurried over to him and looked at him. “I thought Exos don’t get cold?” I said. I wasn’t making a joke or teasing him, it was a question of fact. He looked up at me and I saw his jaw was chattering. My eyes widened a little and I wondered if it had something to do with how he was healed - if something was changed - or if it was simply now lacking the Light. 

Either way, he was cold and I wasn’t going to let him sit there and freeze. I took my heavy armored coat off and set it aside then took my undershirt off, noticing his eyes going wide as I stood there, practically topless, in just a bra. “Here,” I said and moved his knees apart, easing the blanket open. 

“Wh-what are you doing?” He asked.

“Shhhhhhh,” I soothed, then slipped my arms under his and pulled him close, pressing my body to his, feeling him shaking. He closed the blanket around both of us and cuddled against me, sighing with relief as he felt my body heat. “Better?” I asked, rubbing his back.

He nodded, face pressed into the crook of my neck and I could feel how chilly he’d become.

“You’ve never been cold before?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Not like this,” he told me. “I’ve felt the cold. Reacted to it to some degree. But I’ve never shivered before. Never actually felt it bother me. At least … not that I can remember.”

I nodded and frowned. This was very strange. If it was something to do with fixing his body, maybe Ana could find something on the computers that would explain it.

 

After a little while, I realized how quiet he’d become and rubbed his back again. “Cayde?” 

He made a little snorting sound and lifted his head a bit. “Mm?”

“Did you fall asleep?” I asked, both surprised and amused.

“Did I?” He asked, then settled his head back down against my shoulder.

“I think you did,” I nodded, smiling. “Come on. You should get dressed. We can’t stay here forever. Besides, Ikora and Zavala are waiting. And so is Ana up in the security room.”

“Ana?” He asked. “You mean Bray?” I nodded and he huffed a bit of a sleepy chuckle. “So that’s how you got in.”

“Actually, it wasn’t her being a Bray that did it, it was her hacking abilities.”

“Mmm,” Cayde grunted, then sighed. “Okay. I suppose it’s now or never,” he said, then finally made a reluctant move to get dressed.

Despite warm winter pants, a turtleneck, and a sweater - which, aside from the boots, all seemed to belong to Zavala, considering how big they were on him, - Cayde still pulled the blanket around himself and wandered around the medlab while I got my shirt and coat back on. When I was finished, I noticed he was standing outside the window to one of the sealed labs. I went over to him and followed his gaze inside, seeing he was staring up at the headless Exo shells that were hanging in the racks. I looked at him and put my arm around his shoulders. “You okay?”

“They don’t really look like me, do they?” He asked. 

I looked up at the shells and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

He turned his head toward me, his expression questioning, and I shook my head as I met his eyes. “I didn’t look.”

He blinked at me, surprised. “You … Even when I was getting dressed you didn’t-?” His posture changed so his weight was all on his left leg, making his hip stick out a bit under the blanket, and he tilted his head, arching a metal eyebrow at me. “Were you being chivalrous?” He asked, sounding amused.

“Maybe a little,” I smiled.

He smiled back then looked into the window again before straightening, his features taking on a contemplative expression. He took his left hand out from under the blanket, looking it over; at the way the light made the fine teal mesh weaved into the deep gray silicone of his skin shimmer. 

I found his hands incredibly beautiful. The first time I’d seen him without gloves on, I remember rudely staring at them until he gave them a snap, trying to get my attention, and chuckled at how I’d jumped. I apologized, but he waved it off then gave me his right hand with a nod and let me hold it and run my fingers over it, inspecting it. He had no fingernails which you’d think would look odd, but it didn’t. And, when he bent his knuckles, the silicone would separate and reveal strong but flexible black mesh that covered the slightly squared joints. They were long, slim fingers, too. Strangely elegant with a small palm by comparison. I’d turned his hand over in mine and looked at the palm, noticing he even had lines in it like any other human would, and found myself tracing them with my thumb. I looked at his face when I heard a soft sigh and saw he’d closed his eyes to the sensation of my caresses, making me smile.

“You ever wonder what makes you alive?” He quietly asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts. 

I reached up and curled my right hand around the back of his left and eased it toward my lips, kissing the backs of his fingers. “Sometimes,” I murmured, looking at him as I settled our joined hands over his chest. 

I watched his gaze go from me back to the hanging shells, feeling his hand squeeze my fingers. “What - what do you think of … when you wonder that?” He asked. “Do you think you have a soul? That … That there’s more to you than just this body and this moment? What you are now?”

I tilted my head. “What are you asking, sweetheart?”

“What if I’m … What if I was never alive?” He asked, his voice barely a whisper. “What if I’m just … an A.I. like Failsafe, but made to think I was alive? Programed to think that I had a life before this one? What if ‘Cayde’ was never real?”

I stared at him for a moment, then squeezed his hand, giving it a little shake. “Look at me,” I gently told him.

He blinked and turned his head to meet my eyes. “I love you,” I told him. His eyes widened, ever so slightly at hearing me say that to him for the first time, his lips parting some as his jaw went slack. “You hear me?” I asked him. “I love you,” I told him more pointedly. “And I don’t care who you were, what you were, if you were, or whatever may have happened before you can remember. You’re real, Cayde, because I say you’re real. And Traveler help anyone who says different.” 

He looked at me, blinking rapidly, and I noticed tears welling up from under his lower eyelids. I didn’t know Exos could cry. Well, I knew they could, but not actual tears. He seemed to swallow with effort as they brimmed and spilled over, running down over the ridges of his cheeks and dripping onto the lower part of his jaw. I reached up and wiped them away. “Come’ere,” I murmured and pulled him against me. He grabbed onto me and pressed his face into my shoulder, starting to sob, almost uncontrollably, his knees actually giving out. I startled and grabbed him around the waist and eased us both down to the floor. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to -” he brokenly uttered, trying to say more, but unable to. I shook my head. “Shhhhh. It’s alright, let it out,” I murmured. 

I heard hurried footsteps nearby and saw Zavala and Ikora coming over to see what was wrong, but I held up a hand for them to stop and gently waved it to the side, shaking my head. They both stood there, looking shocked and concerned for a few moments before they nodded and, without saying a word, turned and headed back to the other room to leave us be for now. 

I put my arm back around him and kissed the side of his head, holding it gently and slowly rocked him, just letting him get it all out. 

I wondered how long he’d been thinking this. And then a tragic thought came to mind as I recalled back in the prison. When he thought he was going to die. What if he’d been afraid he really was an A.I. and there was nothing after? That we’d never see each other again? That the only times he got to come back were by will of the Traveler’s Light alone and now, without it, he was alone in uncertainty? Not even an Ace. Or his Queen. Truly alone? And all this time, he’d been putting on a smile and been silly and cocky when deep down …

I winced and held him closer. “I’ve got you, my Little Firefly,” I whispered to him. “I promise. And I won’t ever let go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that was an emotional rollercoaster. And I put poor Cayde through the ringer there at the end. But, don't worry. I have ways of making him feel better. More to come but, for now *flings tissues at her readers* . Again sorry-not-sorry. ;) .


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is the NEW, RE-EDITED CHAPTER 6. If you read this chapter prior to November 21, then you read the old version. Same basic layout but there are things that changed that I took from later in the story I have notes on and moved them to this chapter cause they worked better here. Basically, sorry, but re-read this one, it works better now. Further notes are in the TEMPORARY CHAPTER 7. ~Aislin

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to - mean to do that,” Cayde said from where he was resting his head on my shoulder. He was hiding his face in the crook of my neck, his chest and shoulders twitching every now and again with little hitches of breath. We were still sitting on the floor, but I had leaned us back against the wall, keeping him wrapped up in the blanket while he curled up against me. It had taken a while, but he’d finally calmed down enough he could speak again. 

“First off,” I gently murmured, tilting my head against his, the backs of my fingers lightly stroking along his jaw, “we’re going to make it a rule, neither of us apologizes for needing the other. Alright? No more ‘I’m sorry’s’. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He nodded and actually made a little sniffling sound. It was the second time I’d heard him make that sound, the first being in the prison when he was trying to breathe. He didn’t have a nose, so I briefly wondered where it was coming from before I pushed the thought aside. There would be time later to find out, I supposed.

“Secondly,” I quietly added, moving my fingers to lightly brush along the top of his head as if he had hair there. “No one means to do something like that, sweetheart. It’s alright. Obviously, you needed to.”

“L-lousy timing,” he hitched, making a frustrated noise that he couldn’t seem to get the hitching to stop. “I - I was try - trynna be - be there - ” I gently set my hand on his chest. “Shhhhhh,” I soothed. “Take a few deep breaths, okay?” I didn’t know if that would actually help, considering the not needing to breathe aspect, but I hoped it did. I’d never seen him this upset before. Especially not to the point it was making it difficult for him to speak. Internally, I’ll admit, I was a little panicked, but I didn’t let it show. 

He pet the back of my hand against his chest and swallowed, trying again. “I was trynna be there for you,” he finally said now that he could. “I was the - the one who got shot and everything else, but you had - had to deal with the fallout from that.”

I smiled a little and shook my head a bit. Only Cayde would get shot and think he had to reassure everyone else before taking care of himself. “I got you back, sweetheart,” I softly told him. “I’ll be just fine now.” Or, as fine as I could be for now. I had no doubt I was going to keep my eyes on him more than normal, and likely stay by his side more than normal as well. Just to reassure myself he was alive. Today was as close a call as one could get and I never wanted to go through that ever again. “It’s you I’m worried about,” I gently added. "How long have you been feeling like this?”

He didn’t reply right away and I felt him move his head back a little along my shoulder so he could tilt his head down without knocking me in the jaw with his horn. He took the hand I had over his chest in both of his and held it, seeming to study my fingers. Eventually, he took a careful breath and answered. “Long time,” he quietly admitted.

“Did you ever talk to anyone about it?”

“Heh,” he softly chuckled. And I felt his fingers draw soft little lines along my palm. “I - I used to talk to Andal,” he said, his voice going even quieter. “But not - not like this. It was between brothers, y’know? And … we were - we were usually drunk. Smashed, actually. Guess it- it made it easier for me. He useta joke about how maybe I was really Rasputin.” He chuckled again then suddenly winced, making a soft sobbing sound and pressed his face back against my neck, squeezing my hand. “Shit. I’m sor-” he started, but caught himself. 

“It’s alright,” I whispered, easing my hand out of his and laying it along the side of his neck, lightly caressing the lower part of his jaw with my thumb. He reached up and wrapped both his hands around my forearm and held onto me. 

“I h-hate feeling li-like this,” he barely managed.

“I know,” I softly said. “It’s alright. I’ll help you through it.” I wanted to ask him how many times he’d gone through this in the past year since we’d gotten closer and why he never came to me. I felt like I should have been there for him sooner. That I should have known. At least seen the signs. Something. I don’t know. Maybe they were there and I just assumed they meant something else. But I decided not to ask because I knew it would come off sounding accusing rather than reassuring, so I decided to just let it go. I was here now and he knew that. But I did wonder if maybe this was just one more thing that had stopped him from taking things a little further between us. Being afraid of bearing this much of who he was deep down.

 

I patiently sat there with him until I noticed he’d gone quiet and relatively still. At some point I’d started very slowly rocking us both back and forth. His breathing finally calmed, his body relaxed and, eventually, I felt him move against me, shifting to sit up a little. I stilled and watched him as he lifted his head off my shoulder. “I’m okay,” he weakly told me with a slight nod. I looked at his face, noting how one of the benefits to being an Exo was definitely no puffy eyes. To look at him, you’d never know anything ever happened. 

“You sure?” I quietly asked and he shook his head, smiling a little. “No,” he said, then lightly chuckled before leaning closer and softly kissing my cheek. “Thank you,” he murmured. “I know I don’t have to say it. But … Thank you, Ais.”

I nodded. “I’m always right here,” I gently told him. “You can come to me for anything,” I assured.

He gave me a little nod. “I know that now.”

I cupped the side of his left cheek and eased him close, very softly kissing just beside his right eye, feeling him tilt his head into the loving gesture, closing his eyes as he squeezed my arm again, a little sigh escaping his lips. 

When I let him go, he took my hand again and studied it. I watched him for a moment, then eased him back against me, rubbing his shoulder. “What?” I murmured. “What’s so fascinating about my hand?” I asked, smiling a little, feeling his fingers continuing to softly trace over my skin, making me recall that time I’d done the same to him.

He shook his head. “You,” he whispered in a tone that seemed to hold a bit of a smile. 

“Me?” I asked. “What about me?”

“You’re … you’re a Titan. And … Us Hunters and you Titans … Well, we don’t tend to get along that often. Not like this. Too different. You got your walls. We got the Wilds. But you … you’re different from other Titans. You ARE a wall. But … you’re also …”. He huffed a little as he tried to find the words. “You’re free. Like us Hunters. You leave the walls. You create your own wherever it’s needed but don’t let yourself be fixed to it. And you’re like the Warlocks. You’re … What’s the word I’m lookin’ for? … Intuitive? Is that the right one? Using feelings and instinct.” I gave him a little nod and he continued. “I’ve seen you meditate and do that whole grounding and centering thing Ikora talks about.” He looked at my face. “You’re a bitta all three. Not just a Titan. And …” he looked down at my hand again. “You’re strong, yeah. I’ve watched these delicate-lookin’ hands punch through things you’d never think they could. Pick up that big hammer of yours and swing it around like it weren’t nothin’. You could probably kill a guy with just a punch of one of these babies, am I right?” He asked, looking at me again and I nodded. He nodded back, then returned his eyes to my hand, still caressing it. “You’re all those things but … so soft and … tender when needed … So loving. I ain’t never felt safer with anyone before you except … except when I’d think of her.”

“Your Queen?” I gently asked.

He nodded. “It’s like … It’s like you’re really her if I could bring her to life.”

I reached up and caressed the back of his head. “Maybe you did,” I offered.

He quickly turned his head to look at me, blinking a little, searching my eyes. He let go of my hand and slid both of his up along the sides of my neck and softly held my face, his thumbs lightly stroking my cheeks as he continued to search my eyes for something, looking back and forth at them. He shook his head a little as a warm smile appeared on his face, then leaned in and kissed me.

I felt myself melting again. Like I was slowly falling into pure warmth and light, completely safe. He was sitting sideways to me and I pulled him into me, right against my chest, and curled my left leg around his lower back, my right going over his legs, settling behind his knees as I deepened the kiss, a little moan bubbling up from his throat as I did. He wasn’t going anywhere.

If we could have made love in that moment, I think we would have, but it wasn’t quite the right time or right place. Instead, we let our lips speak for us in ways our bodies couldn’t. Let tender caresses of our hands and fingers say so much more than words ever could. Things we’d both wanted to say for a long time but had been so hesitant to. It was the warmest, most incredible sensation I’d ever felt and I knew, right then, he was mine forever, and I was his.

 

When the kisses ended, we just sat there, holding each other, softly panting, our foreheads pressed together. Cayde was the first to move, nuzzling my nose with the part of his face where one would be if he’d had one, then eased back a little to look at me. “Heh,” he shook his head. “You’re really real,” he murmured and I looked at him, a little surprised by the comment, wondering if he’d remembered saying that to me back in the prison while I was holding him. I nodded and replied in the same way now as I had then. “I’m real, sweetheart. And I’m right here.” 

I saw something in his eyes. A brief look pass over his features so quickly, if I’d blinked, I would have missed it. Something had triggered there, but it quickly passed and I didn’t want to push it any further. Not right now. He was happy and feeling so much better. I didn’t want to force something that wasn’t ready to come back yet. So I leaned in and kissed him one last time before we both decided, even if reluctantly, we really should get to our feet and rejoin the others.

“Hey, um … don’t, uh … don’t say anything to Ikora or Zavala about that little uh … breakdown, okay?” N-not that I don’t trust them, it’s just … well … it’s really personal and …”

I shook my head, softly petting his cheek. “You don’t have to explain,” I told him. “I understand.”

He nodded, looking grateful and, turned his head into my palm, kissing it before pulling the blanket up around his shoulders. I smiled at him and put my arm around his back. “Come on,” I told him, leading him out to where Ikora and Zavala were. “If you’re good, I’ll buy you a bowl of ramen when we get home.”

He chuckled. “The spicy one I like?”

I nodded. “No nori and pork dumplings on the side.”

He made a happy noise, taking his arm out from under the blanket and put it around my shoulders, hugging me closer to him as we walked down the hall, kissing my temple. 

 

As we approached the open room near the elevator, I saw Ikora and Zavala sitting on a bench nearby, Ikora sitting upright, Zavala leaned back into the wall, leg crossed and propped up on one knee, arms crossed over his chest. They seemed to be engaged in a serious discussion, but were relaxed about it as they spoke, no doubt with regards as to what should be done about this place after today. Zavala saw us first, which prompted Ikora to turn and see us as well. They stood as we got closer and I quickly made a low-key hand gesture and look of warning not to say anything about what they saw earlier. They each gave a slight nod before their attentions turned to Cayde.

“How are you feeling?” Ikora asked, searching his face. 

“Is ‘like having been sat on by Emperor Calus’ a feeling?” Cayde asked, smirking. 

I winced at that image. “Oof. That would be a helluva way to go, Cayde,” I told him.

“I know right?!” Cayde said, looking at me with wide eyes. “Could you just imagine the horror of what’s under there?!” 

I snickered, shaking my head. His figurative armor was back up. “You do know that was just a proxy, right? That it was a robot I fought?” I asked.

“Wait, what?” Cayde asked. “He made a robot with an ass like that?!” 

I almost fell over laughing, while Zavala gave a long , lamenting sigh. 

Ikora closed her eyes and smiled, her bottom lip trembling a little, refusing to give into Cayde’s silliness, but clearly wanting to. Some habits died hard with her, apparently. She shook her head and opened her eyes, stepping up to him, taking his face gently in her hands. Cayde suddenly looked a bit startled by the gesture and blinked at her. “Oh, my friend,” she murmured, her features warm, her eyes holding a spark of joy. “I’m so glad you’re still with us,” she told him, then drew him into a hug.

Cayde looked stunned by the gesture. “Oh. Heh,” he laughed his surprise off and carefully put his arms around her. “Thanks, Ikora,” he murmured, the tentative hug gradually becoming a genuine one.

She smiled and nodded, then eased back as Zavala stepped up to him, looking down his nose at Cayde a bit sternly. “If you breathe one word of this,” he carefully said, his voice deep and rumbling, “I will have you buried in so much paperwork, not even the archeologists will find you.”

Cayde blinked at him, taken aback, and shook his head, not understanding the reason for the threat. “Zavala, I-”

“Shh,” Zavala hushed, then stepped up to him and put his arms around him, easing Cayde against his broad chest. Cayde gasped, stiffening for a moment, clearly not knowing what to do. It was as if he thought it was all a trick and, any moment now, Zavala was going to crush him in his grasp or something else horrible because he’d done something stupid.

“Don’t you ever. Do that. Again,” Zavala gently told him, and I watched as it all suddenly registered with Cayde that Zavala was genuinely hugging him and glad he was alright. That the threat was just a fond dig at how Cayde sometimes teased him about always a pillar of strength and no-nonsense when he really thought Zavala was just a big softie under it all but didn’t want it getting out.

Cayde’s body slowly relaxed and he settled against Zavala’s chest, closing his eyes and nodding, even returning the hug. Zavala nodded as well and rested his hand on the back of Cayde’s head for a moment, making a warm, soft flutter of happiness rise in my chest. He wasn’t a brother in the same way Andal had been. Sure, Andal had been around longer than Cayde, so he’d been older but, from what Cayde had told me, Andal didn’t specifically act like a big brother or even a little brother. He was both as he needed to be and, at the same time, simply his brother. But Zavala, he had that air of big brother. The protective kind that would always look out for you, even if you drove him mad more than half the time. And I was seeing now where it wasn’t just his understanding of my love for Cayde that drove me to do whatever I could to save him, it was that Zavala wanted his brother back, too. He just hadn’t known how to really say it. 

When they separated, Zavala looked at him and nodded and Cayde nodded back, the two of them saying in glances what neither had the words for but both understood. Zavala gave his upper arms a squeeze, then let him go, and Cayde stepped back over to me, I think a little overwhelmed, leaning against my side as we walked to the elevator and rode it up to meet with Ana.

 

As we walked down the hallway to the security office, I looked at Cayde and saw his eyes were carefully looking into darkened windows, trying to see what was inside and darting around at the hallway, studying the walls and ceiling, even the floor, like he was looking for something that might trigger a memory, even if just a flash of one. “Anything?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No. But you ever get that creepy déjà vu feeling anyway? Like, nothing looks familiar at all, but you still feel like you’ve been here before?”

“All the time,” I uttered under my breath and rubbed his back. There had been too many times to count when I’d been places over the years that felt so familiar, yet held no memories at all. It was very unsettling, as well as frustrating, so I knew exactly what he meant. He turned his head and looked at me like he wanted me to tell him what I was thinking, but knew now wasn’t the time.

Up ahead, I saw Ana through the window of the security station, now with five monitors going, two of which she seemed to have brought over form the office across the hall, cords and wires now laying across the walkway between the doors. She glanced up, apparently hearing us coming, and came out, her eyes going to Cayde. “You’re okay!” she smiled.

Cayde nodded. “Fit as a fiddle,” he told her.

“Nice to see they can’t keep a good Hunter down,” Ana, nodded.

“Just good?” Cayde asked, eyebrows rising, sounding offended. “Bray, you wound me.”

“I think he was looking for ‘magnificent’,” I told her, chuckling.

“You know me so well,” Cayde said to me, giving my hip a playful little bump with his, then went over to the office where Ana had been, curious what she’d found.

“I see nothing happened to his personality,” Ana said, smirking.

I smiled back then went to join Cayde, the others following.

“Okay, I think something went wrong bringing me back,” Cayde asked me as I came into the room. He was blinking at the screens and squinting. “I can’t read anything on here. It’s all gibberish.”

“That’s because that’s all in code, Cayde,” Ana patiently, if not affectionately sighed, easing him out of the way so she could sit down at the main monitor and switch back to the files while Ikora and Zavala came in behind her.

“Oh. I-I knew that,” Cayde muttered, looking at me and shrugging. I smiled at him and stepped behind him, pulling out a chair next to Ana for him to sit in, petting the back of it as Ghost appeared above my shoulder. Cayde came over, smiling softly at me, then fixed the blanket around himself and sat. Ana looked over at him, frowning. “Are … are you … cold?” She asked him, looking surprised.

“We were going to ask about that, yeah,” I said with a nod as I rested my hands on Cayde’s shoulders. Ikora and Zavala both looked at Cayde, then at me, also seeming surprised he was feeling the cold. I gave a little shrug and shook my head, silently telling them I didn’t understand it either. 

“I didn’t see anything that specifically stated anything about them feeling anything hot or cold or anything in between,” Ana said to our question. “There’s stuff on the nervous system, but that just tells that they can feel like we do. If it’s a new development, there’s only two things I can think of that may have caused it. Either the healing process altered something, making him more sensitive to temperatures, or …” She looked at Cayde with sympathy. “Losing the Light may have done it, too,“ she gently added. “But I can look into it more as I work on more files. See if I can find anything.”

Cayde didn’t say anything, just gave a nod and looked off to the side, like he just wanted to put that aside for now. I gave his shoulders a gentle squeeze. “Did you find anything else on the Exos? On how they were made?” I asked Ana.

“Oh, lots of stuff, actually,” Ana nodded. “I mean, there’s tons of stuff in here that I can’t access, but what I could and have been reading … It’s … It blows the mind to think what we once had and that a lot of it’s gone now.” 

I nodded a little. I understood. I’d thought the same thing in the Archive under the Ishtar Academy when first visiting it. So much of what was that could be again someday if we did it right. Cayde’s hand on mine drew me back and I blinked, noticing he was looking up at me questioningly. I smiled and shook my head at him, then looked at Ana. “Let’s catch Cayde and everyone up then on what you showed me earlier, then go over the other stuff.” I noticed Cayde was still watching me and I gave his shoulders a squeeze, jutting my chin out to the screens for him to look at them. He turned his head as Ana brought up the images and documents on file and explained about the core material, the reference to something called CAT-GEN-55, and the molecular changes it made to the metal and silicone. Zavala, Ikora, and Cayde all gradually growing more fascinated as well as incredulous as it finally sunk in what Ana was saying.

“Wait-wait-wait-wait. Stop-stop,” Cayde quickly said once Ana was done explaining the basics. He held up his hands, shaking his head and took a moment. “I’m … alive?”

“Well, you were always alive,” Ana told him. “But, yeah. Your body is alive, too, just like a human’s would be. You’re not … it’s not a robot body, in the traditional sense. Frames are robot bodies. You and other Exos like you … you’re something else. Another type of lifeform entirely, based on this. At least, your bodies are. But, yeah. You’re alive, through and though.”

Cayde sat back and blinked and I think he was trying to reason out what we’d discussed earlier about his thoughts on what he was and how this completely changed things. He looked down at his hands, opening and closing them a couple times.

“Cayde?” Ikora asked, watching him. 

He looked over at her, then twisted around in his chair and motioned me to come to the side. “What are you looking for?” I asked as he started searching my belt. When he didn’t find what he wanted, he pulled on my hip, getting me to turn. “Cayde, sweetheart, if you tell me, maybe I can-” But he found what he wanted before I could finish, pulling my pocket knife out of its holster. “What are you doing?” I asked, my tone more cautious now. He held his hand up to me, getting me to wait a moment, then opened the knife and put it to the end of his left index finger, wincing as he nicked it with the tip of the blade, making a small cut that oozed a little black droplet of blood. Ana sat up straighter in her chair, blinking at him in shocked surprise at the action, while Ikora, and Zavala each took a step closer to us like they wanted to do something but, really, what was to be done at this point, the cut was made.

I reached down and took my knife from him. “Why would you do that?” I asked, exasperated at him, even though it was just a small cut. 

He looked up at me as innocently as possible. “She said it’s living tissue, right? I want to see if it’ll heal,” he said, then stuck his finger in his mouth, sucking the blood off - or, as close to being able to do that as an Exo could.

The others relaxed and I sighed and put my knife away, reaching into a pocket on my belt and pulling out a small bandage. I held out my hand for him to give me his finger and he took it out of his mouth and gave it to me, letting me wrap it. He did have a point, I had to admit. Without Sundance or coming here, he’d have to heal on his own. If his body was capable of it, this was the best way to find out. Still, didn’t mean I liked seeing him hurt himself to find out. “If this doesn’t heal and I have to drag you back here …” I idly threatened.

“You’ll what?” Cayde playfully asked, smirking at me.

I finished wrapping his finger then leaned down close to his face, my features stern as I narrowed my eyes at him. His own widened a bit and he swallowed, leaning back a little. “Uh oh. Mad Titan,” he nervously uttered, but I could tell he was hardly afraid, only pretending. 

“It won’t be good for you, my Little Firefly,” I murmured to him, then gently tapped the tip of his horn, shaking my head at him before smiling. He smiled back and I returned to my place behind him, hands going back on his shoulders. 

“Oh-ho, man, you are SO owned,” Ana chuckled at Cayde, amused by our interaction.

“No one can ‘own’ a Hunter, Bray,” Cayde told her. “It’s impossible. We’re too wild.”

Ana leaned closer to him and whispered. “Sooooo owned.”

Cayde leaned forward out of my hands and whispered back: “I know.” He winked at her.

I had the side of my hand covering my lips, trying to hide a smile as I tried not to laugh at them.

“Are you two done?” Zavala asked, crossing his arms over his chest. His amused eyes belied his annoyance, though. 

“See that? You got us in trouble,” Cayde told her, settling back in his chair, his head falling back to rest against my stomach while Ana went back to the monitor, snickering.

I leaned forward over Cayde’s left shoulder and put my arms around him, kissing his temple as he held my arms against his chest, softly petting them. I could feel both Ikora and Zavala watching us but I got the sense they were actually enjoying seeing us like this.

“Okay, so, the code I’ve been finding in here, I should tell you, it’s unlike any code I’ve ever seen before. And … well, you know, I’ve worked on and can read Rasputin’s but this … this is so different from anything else … I don’t even know where to start with it. But I have a pretty good guess it’s the code that allows for the transfer of the human consciousness into the Exo mind because I can’t imagine needing code like this for anything else, especially not manufacturing any of the Exo shells.” She looked at Cayde. “Do you remember anything you can tell me?” She asked him.

Cayde looked at her for a moment, then shook his head. “There’s nothing I remember I can tell you,” he said. 

She frowned, looking disappointed he wasn’t going to be any help and she’d have to go diving further into this the hard way. “Well, okay. In that case, moving on to the other stuff I found … there were some transparent layered MRI images of Exo and human bodies that show the different systems and structures that make them up as a whole. So …”. She pulled up one set that was clearly of the bone structure and showing the difference between human and Exo. “These are the latest ones in the files.” She glanced at Cayde. “Based on your physical appearance, I’m going with you being last generation, if not next to last generation of the Exos created before the Collapse.”

Cayde glanced down at his body, then back up at Ana. “How can you tell?”

“Your hands,” she said. “The skin on your hands is made of a silicone and weaved mesh metal with elasticized mesh joints. Older models don’t have that. Their hands, arms, legs and feet are all metal. The only part of them that has the silicone skin is the torso because it didn’t have the joints and have to move as freely as the arms and legs. Based on the notes, I guess it took them a while to come up with something that worked with the silicone and a design that was practical so stuff didn’t tear with movement or hinder movement in any way.” 

Cayde lifted his hands off my arms, palms up, and looked at them again, opening and closing them. “You okay?” I quietly whispered in his ear, while watching his hands open and close. He gave a little nod, then settled his hands back against my arms. I didn’t have to see his face to know something was going through his mind. 

“As for the bone structure,” Ana continued, “it’s clear which one is human and which is Exo, even without the heads. The human one is clearly bone, while the Exo one is clearly metal. The heads, of course, are really easy to tell the difference, not just with the shapes, but the Exos lack teeth, and the way the nose is smaller and sits up higher, and the design of the spinal column - all are clearly very different.”

“So you do have noses,” I said to Cayde. 

“Of course we have noses. You never noticed?” He asked me, tilting his head to the right to look at me. He made the sniffing sound and I looked at his face, searching it. “Where …?” I asked. He lifted his finger, tapping it next to the little comb tooth-looking ridged spot that sat on the bottom of the white part of his brow between his eyes. 

“That?” I asked, touching it. He winced and snorted, blinking as he jerked his head back. “Gaah! Yes. Yes, that,” he said, scrunching up his face, rubbing at the spot.

“Oh, sh- I’m sorry! Did I just literally stick my finger in your nose?!” I asked, chuckling.

“Yes!” Cayde laughed.

“Sorry!” My head dropped to his shoulder as my own shook with stifled laughter. Even Ikora and Zavala were chuckling along with Ana.

I lifted my head, tears in my eyes from laughing so hard, only to see Cayde arching an eyebrow at me before slowly lifting his finger toward my nose. “Don’t you dare!” I told him, grabbing it. He laughed at me and kissed my cheek. 

Once we all calmed down and could focus again, Ana went back to showing the images.

“Does it say why the bodies here and on Mars are lacking heads?” I asked as I looked at the images that showed the designs were clearly made separately.

“The bodies seem easy to make,” Ana said. “They’re all base structures that are pretty much assembly line made that can be fit to more specific preferences after, like skin color and design patterns. The heads, not so much. They appear to be individually tailored and are super insanely intricate in not only how they house the consciousness, but just in more simple function, like the eyes, ears, the mouth - by the way, you have a tongue?” she asked Cayde, looking at him like she found that absolutely fascinating.

Cayde looked at her then, like a little kid, stuck his tongue out at her before yanking it back into his mouth. I snorted, seeing Ana’s reaction. “Did you guys know this?” she asked, looking at me, then over her other shoulder at Ikora and Zavala. Ikora made a soft little chuckling sound and nodded, while Zavala sort of blinked an affirmative with a hint of a nod, one corner of his mouth BARELY curled up in amusement. She looked back at me and I nodded, too. 

“I’ve known so many Exos over this lifetime and never knew THAT,” Ana said, shaking her head, looking a little freaked out as well as completely intrigued. 

“Have you ever really watched them eat?” I asked her.

“I’ve seen them eat but, like, watched? I didn’t want to be rude,” she said, shaking her head. “I just thought it sort of went down their throat.”

“If it just did that, we wouldn’t enjoy it,” Cayde pointed out. “Then, what would be the point in eating anything?”

Ana pointed her finger at him and nodded, recognizing he had a very good point. “Doesn’t it ever … dry out?” She asked. “I mean … you kind of don’t have full cheeks. They’re a bit open.” 

Cayde shook his head. “It sits way down. I don’t use it to speak, if that’s what you’re getting at. So it ain’t up and around unless I’m eating.” 

“Huh,” Ana uttered, and I couldn’t help but think back to the first time I’d seen Cayde’s tongue and had a very similar reaction of both a little freaked out but more so fascinated. It was the first time he’d had a bowl of ramen waiting for me when I got back from a mission. We decided to go sit out on one of the balconies and watch the ships come in as the sun was setting. The light was just on the other side of him and I happened to look over at him while he was taking a bite of the noodles. I nearly dropped my bowl when I saw the silhouette of it through his open cheeks as it came up to take the the noodles off the chopsticks! He ended up drinking some water to rise his mouth out, then opened it for me and gave me permission to stick my fingers inside. “Don’t you dare bite me,” I’d said to him, smiling. He laughed and shook his head. “I’m not going to bite you. Go ahead,” he said, then opened his mouth again. When I finally eased my fingers in, I felt a very soft, sort of slimy membrane in the bottom of his mouth, almost like what the underside of a human tongue felt like and, Cayde being Cayde, deliberately startled me when he pushed his tongue out from under it and licked at my fingers, making me laugh again. Of course, it wasn’t exactly like a human tongue. It was the same deep gray color as his body and longer and a little skinnier so it could comfortably fit down inside. But it was definitely a tongue. 

“So cool,” Ana uttered, drawing me out of the memory. 

Cayde chuckled again, seeming amused by her fascination.

Ana eventually cleared her throat and forced herself to get back to the other stuff she’d found. “Anyway, all those things are really intricate and specialized in function so they’re carefully made separate by a whole different department from the bodies, then everything is attached and synched before the consciousness is transferred.”

The next set she pulled up were the compared images of the circulatory system. “Now, that,” she said, pointing to a drawn out diagram, “is what your heart looks like in detail, Cayde. Or pretty close to the one you actually have,” she added. It was a structure very similar in shape to a human heart but more rigid and made of metals, wiring, tubes, and other synthetic materials. It operated in a more mechanical way than an organic way and the ‘arteries’ that came off it were reinforced mesh weaved tubing with lock plugs that hooked them into the heart, itself, then carried whatever fluid was being used for blood around the Exo body in a complex system of fine tubing, some appearing so small, they seemed impossible to be manmade. Clearly, the rigid structure didn’t allow the heart to move and pump the way a human heart did, which would explain the swishing sound I’d heard. 

Cayde stared at it for a while before I felt his hand slip under my arms and his fingers move against the middle of his chest. “When Uldren shot me …”

Ana pulled up another image on a separate screen to the right. It was the MRI scans of Cayde’s chest that had been loaded into the computer as he was being repaired. They showed a similar heart structure to the one on the other screen. “Right there,” she said, pointing to where the scan had zoomed in on the damage to his chest. “That’s where the bullet went.” It showed where the right side of his heart had actually been cracked and split open on the top by the bullet. I winced a little, imagining how incredibly painful that must have felt and softly rubbed his chest. He looked down at my hand, then at me and curled his fingers around my hand, holding it to his chest. I closed my eyes for a moment, then looked back at the screen as I felt him soothingly nuzzle my jaw. I pet his chest with my free hand and tried not to let myself dwell on it or the anger I felt creeping in at Uldren. 

“It looks like Exo hearts are reinforced, too,” Ana said, looking over the design. “Just like the casing around the brain that houses your consciousness.” Cayde turned his head from me back to the screen. “But the damage was enough to make it stop functioning and cause internal bleeding into your lungs.” Ana said, bringing up another layer that showed the major internal organs.

I heard Zavala shift in his chair and a low, careful breath being inhaled and exhaled. It was definitely the sound he made when he was trying to calm himself down. I leaned back a little, looking around the back of Cayde’s head to see their faces. Both of them had renewed sparks of anger in their eyes as well.

“Okay … this next set I found is of the major internal organs,” Ana said. When the images came up, on the right, we saw what appeared to be normal human set up of internal organ structure. On the left, was the Exo. “So, we’ve got the heart, like before, and you can see the lungs around it. Pretty similar looking to human lungs in shape but they don’t convert oxygen to be used for the blood and function of the body. Technically, Exos don’t have to breathe, so these are more just to create the sensation of breathing for the human mind to feel more normal.”

“But … when I exert myself, I start breathing heavier,” Cayde pointed out.

Ana nodded. “Your mind tells you to. It’s natural. You do it without thinking about it. That’s partly why the early bodies didn’t work and people died. They likely felt like they were suffocating or, at the very least, felt this constant urge to need or want to breathe and couldn’t. Kind of like a phantom limb sensation.”

I winced. “That’s … terrible,” I murmured, thinking of how Cayde had been coughing and gasping for air back in the prison after everything Uldren and the Barons had done to him. He didn’t have to breathe, but he was trying to, even then, all while one lung was collapsed and filling with fluid. He’d been feeling like he was slowly drowning on top of all the pain. I sighed and shook my head, hugging him a little tighter.

“What’s the matter?” He murmured to me.

“What happened to you … Do … do you want to see everything that happened to you?” I carefully asked.

He looked to his side at my face then at Ana.

“It’s all on here,” Ana quietly said, nodding.

He looked at Ikora and Zavala who I saw were watching him carefully. “It’s … extensive,” Zavala gently told him. 

Cayde thought about it for a moment, then nodded.

Ana looked at me and I nodded, too, so she brought up the full body MRI showing Cayde what his fixed body looked like. “That’s how you are now,” she gently told him. “And this … this is what they brought you in with.” 

The image came up on the larger screen showing every single bit of damage done to Cayde’s body and I felt his hands slowly tighten on my arms as he looked it over. I turned my head a little and looked at his face. It wasn’t possible for him to go pale and it was impossible for me to describe the look on his face that told me if he were human, that’s exactly what he would have been doing. But I just knew. “Oh my stars …” he barely uttered, eyes widening some. His tone was that of complete shock. He turned his head and looked at me. “That’s what happened to me?” He asked, his voice remaining soft and quiet. 

I nodded a little before replying in the same soft tone. “Yes.”

“And I was … awake … talking?” 

Again, I nodded.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “No wonder you’re pissed,” he murmured.

“Aren’t you?” Ana asked him.

Cayde shook his head. “Not as much as I know Ais is,” he murmured. He looked at me again then pushed his face up to the side of my neck and softly nuzzled just under my chin. I tilted my head to the side and tenderly kissed his forehead, just under his horn, petting his chest. 

The others remained quiet, giving us a moment, until we both were able to look at the screen again. Cayde nodded to Ana. “Close it,” he told her, regarding the MRI. 

She clicked the image away.

“Are you both alright?” Ikora carefully asked.

Cayde and I both ended up nodding at the same time. “Show us the rest of what you found, Ana,” I told her.

She gave little nod and turned back to the computer, bringing the other image back up, of the internal organ structure. “Nothing really super special left on this part. I mean, save the digestive system. But it’s not really exactly that, since it doesn’t digest. It just sort of … well, it looks like it works by compressing the food you eat and separating the liquids from the solid food and … well … you know what happens to it and I’m not going to even ask,” she told Cayde.

“That’s good. Cause I wasn’t gonna answer,” he replied. 

I smiled a little.

“I suppose, then,” Ana said, “ you don’t want me to bring up the reproductive system images then?”

“Uuuh …” Cayde held up a finger. “Quick question: When you say ‘reproductive’ …”

“It’s a term, not a function,” Ana assured. “You can’t get anyone pregnant. And … Not meaning to pry or assume, but I think you already know, even if you could, Guardians are sterile anyway, so …”

Cayde nodded and put his hand up for her to stop. “Yup, that’s all I needed to know about that,” he said, then made a motion for her to just move past that part and go onto something else. 

Ana looked at him like she wanted to ask him something and I felt Cayde tense a bit under my arms. “Don’t even think about it, Bray,” he sternly told her. “I’m not answering anything. That’s too personal.”

“Okay,” she told him, putting her hands up in surrender and turning back around to the monitor. “The last thing in here I could find, then, was just on the muscle structure and the skin. Which, both seem to work like human muscle and skin, just … silicone based with elasticized mesh interwoven to allow the movement and flexing.” She turned and looked at Zavala and Ikora. “I think, outside of what Exos have learned about themselves over the years, this is the most anyone has learned about them. What I can’t tell you, cause I can’t find anything on it, is what exactly the CAT-GEN-55 is and how it works. But it looks like that’s needed to make the Exo bodies come to life. It’s a cata-” She stopped and frowned.

“What is it?” Ikora asked.

“Huh. I wonder if the ‘CAT’ in the CAT-GEN-55 stands for catalyst?” Ana wondered aloud. “Anyway, there are a lot of sealed files still to go through. But I have to get them unlocked first. And when I say they’re sealed, I mean they are SEALED. It’s going to take time.”

“Can you get them open?” Zavala asked, standing. 

Ana shrugged. “From what I’ve seen of the security on them so far, it’s a fifty-fifty shot,” she admitted. “These locks are meant to keep you out. And there’s always the risk if I mess with them and do something wrong, they could have a destruct virus encoded that will just eat the data with no back ups. This is definitely not something I can just fiddle with on the side.”

Zavala nodded. “Can you pull copies of what you have opened off there and secure it to take back with us?”

“Uuuh … Zavala,” Cayde carefully said his name, looking up at him. He shook his head. “Don’t. It’s called a Crypt for a reason.”

Zavala furrowed his eyebrows at Cayde, frowning, then stepped closer to him and crouched down beside him. 

Cayde looked at him and shook his head again. “Stuff ain’t supposed to leave here,” he quietly told him. “Please?”

There must have been something in Cayde’s eyes because I saw Zavala nod.

“You told me you didn’t remember anything,” Ana said to him.

“I said there was nothing I remembered I could tell you,” Cayde corrected.

Ana’s features hardened some. “So you do remember things.”

“Bray, don’t push me,” Cayde warned. 

“Or you’ll what?” Ana asked. 

“Ana …” I shook my head at her, warning her, myself. “Don’t."

“No,” she said to me. “Do you know how many Exos could be helped with this knowledge?” She looked at Cayde. “Why are you being so selfish?” She asked him.

“Anastasia!” Zavala stood and turned a hard gaze on her.

“Selfish?!” Cayde asked her, eyes wide before narrowing at her. “You don’t remember what your family was capable of!” He snapped, pulling out of my arms and standing up. “Or maybe you never knew. Doesn’t matter! How would you like to have someone screw around with your head and destroy your life for their own agenda?! Become a disposable asset! Promise you something better then take away who you were and all the memories of everyone you ever knew and loved to save their own ass?!” He hissed, voice breaking. He pushed past Zavala and Ikora and stormed out of the room and down the hall.

I didn’t even look at Ana or say anything to Zavala or Ikora as I left the room after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shall resume new chapters after Thanksgiving! :) Have a good one, everybody!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope all who celebrated Thanksgiving had a good one! Here's the real Chapter 7 now! :) . Enjoy!

I found Cayde shortly after looking for him. He was leaning up against a wall down one of the hallways beyond the elevator, one leg crossed over the other, arms crossed over his chest, as he often stood. The moment I spotted him, his eyes immediately snapped to me and the look stopped me right in my tracks. It was seething. I’d never seen that look before.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” I carefully asked.

He stared at me for a few moments and I saw his jaw was slightly moving, as if he were grinding his teeth if he had any, his body somewhat rigid, despite leaning back against the wall. Gradually, his gaze moved off to something else and he gave a hesitant shake of the head, then waved me over. When I got closer, he set his finger over his lips and shook his head, just wanting silence. I nodded and he pulled me against his chest, putting his arms around me, letting out a careful sigh as he rested his head back against the wall. I slipped my arms around his waist and settled my head on his shoulder actually feeling him vibrate with anger. 

This was a new one for me. I’d never seen him angry before. Not like this. Irritated, sometimes. Frustrated, sure. Annoyed, depended on what Guardians and missions he was dealing with on some days. But outright angry? No. It wasn’t like Cayde to get this way. I was sure he’d been angry before. It would be unrealistic to think he never had. It just wasn’t something one could picture, though, not with his usual demeanor almost always being so playful and light-hearted. He once told me he was a high-octane optimist. To set him off like this … Ana really struck a nerve.

I wish I knew what to say. More importantly, I wish there was more I could do, since he really didn’t seem to want me to say anything. But all I could really do right now - that he seemed willing to let me do - was hold him. So I did. I held him and closed my eyes, turning my head toward his, and rested my forehead along the side of his neck, patiently waiting, offering my presence alone as comfort.

“Selfish,” I finally heard him utter. I opened my eyes but didn’t move or say anything. “What the hell right does she have to call me _selfish_?” He asked, his voice unusually low, holding an edge and a slight tremble to it. “She has no idea …” I felt him shaking his head. “No idea what this place is capable of. What _they_ are capable of. No idea some of the things they’ve done.” He moved and his body jerked as he slammed his foot back against the concrete wall. Hard. It shook us both and made a loud noise in the open area. 

I closed my eyes for a moment, wanting to rub his back - wanting to ask him about the things he knew and how, but I just knew it’d only make it worse right now, so I stayed quiet.

“She isn’t the one with nightmares. She isn’t the one with fragments of letters and entires in her own hand she can’t remember writing that leave her haunted. She isn’t-” He stopped himself, holding his breath for a few beats, then carefully let it out. “Heh …”. He shook his head again. “Typical Bray. So hell bent on something with no care who they hurt so long as they get what they want.” He sighed and went quiet for a little while before speaking again. “I’m stugglin’ here, Ais,” he tentatively admitted. 

I lifted my head and looked at him. He shook his head at me. “I see the good in some things here. I do. I didn’t before but … It brought me back to you. I see that it could help others. I ain’t blind to that.” He looked off to the side for a moment, then back at my eyes. “I told myself … I didn’t always have to be good, so long as I did good. Y’know? Help people. Helping people is … It’s one of the few really good and pure things left in the world. But every part of me is … is so … scared. I have this feeling … deep down, somewhere,” he said, tapping his fingers over his chest. “Mixed in all the wires and circuitry … this feeling that tells me not to trust this place. It’s not just the things the other me’s wrote. It’s a feeling I have not to trust that it’s safe. Or to let anything out. I’m not hiding things to be selfish. I’m doing it to protect the people I love.” A single tear slowly rolled down over the teal plates just under his right eye following the crease toward his lips. I reached up and eased it away with my thumb, looking into his eyes and nodding. “She pushed all the wrong buttons there,” he murmured, looking down. “Ais … I feel like I’m gonna break if I get hit with anything else right now.” He leaned forward and rested his head on my shoulder. 

I wrapped him back up in my arms and softly caressed the back of his head and down along his neck. “Take me home?” He whispered. “Please take me home.”

I nodded.

 

Zavala saw to making sure Ana had everything shut down while Ikora led us into the open room on the other side of the security office, giving Cayde a long, warm winter coat they’d brought with them, designed for Hunters and lined with a special lightweight armor. “This will help keep you warm,” she told him, seeing he’d wrapped the blanket back around himself after Zavala retrieved it for him. Cayde had pointedly decided to not interact with Ana for right now. 

“How’d you know I’d need it?” Cayde asked her.

Ikora softly smiled. “We didn’t. But we brought it just incase. Your helmet is in the bag,” she added, pointing to said bag where it was sitting on a bench nearby. “And some gloves. You’re going to need them out there. Even to just get to the ship.” 

“Thanks, Ikora,” he nodded, handing me the blanket before pulling the coat on. 

She gave him a soft smile and a nod. “I’ll be back,” she told us, then pulled her own helmet on and disappeared through the doors to the exterior elevator, going out to the ship she and Zavala brought to retrieve something. 

Cayde sat down on the bench and I put the blanket back around him over the coat. “Warmer?” I asked. He nodded and watched me as I went over to the bag, curious what his helmet looked like. “Never seen your helmet before,” I said to him, unzipping the bag. 

“Never used it or needed it for fighting or exploring,” he told me. “Especially being in the Tower so much.”

I pulled the helmet out to find it was a custom designed one, not only painted to match the brown leather of his armor but, on the left, it had a painted white spade facing up, and a black one with a white outline right beside and slightly below it, facing down, that matched the spades on his canon. On the left was the red coded detailing of his hood. The top had a raised ridge right down the center, painted a very deep greenish-black, and mimicked the mohawk on top of Cayde’s head that came off his horn. The front of it was open, the face covering hinged and pushed up so he could easily pull it on from behind and bring the face shield down, locking it in place. There was also a piece attached to it, the same deep greenish-black, and went right over his horn. It was really well thought out in its design. “That’s pretty good,” I said of the horn covering.

“Shiro designed it,” Cayde told me.

“Yeah?” I smiled, coming over to sit beside him. 

He nodded. 

“What did you use it for if not fighting or exploring?” I asked.

“When I was racing,” he said, looking at the horn, running his finger over it. He leaned into my side a little. “Some of the tracks I used to race were on Mars. The dust out there - well, you know, it can be hell, especially on a windy day. With a face like mine, I ended up full of sand.” I smirked. “I tried wearing my scarf up over my face,” he said, “but that didn’t do much good. I was finally forced to admit I needed a helmet but, well …” He tapped his horn. “Needed something custom and … you know me. I sort of never got around to it. Anyway, one day I was getting ready for a race and Shiro surprised me with it. Made a worlda difference, too. One of the best presents I ever got.”

“That’s really sweet,” I told him, smiling again. “Been a while since you’ve seen Shiro, hasn’t it?” 

Cayde shrugged. “He’s got his own thing goin’. I talk to him now and again, though.”

“If he has some free time, you should invite him to the City. Go have a day out with him. Catch up.”

“That would … be nice, actually,” he admitted.

I heard the elevator return and Ikora came back through the doors, carrying a large metal case. “You want some help?” I asked.

“I’ve got it, thank you, Aislin,” she nodded, setting the heavy case down on the bench beside us and pulling her helmet off. 

“What is it?” Cayde asked.

Ikora opened the case and Cayde sat up when he saw what it was. I looked at him, then at the contents of the box. “I shoulda known you and the Big Z would think of something like that,” Cayde said to her, making Ikora flash him a smile as she started unpacking the case.

“What is it?” I asked him.

“Surveillance equipment,” Cayde told me. “The really fancy stuff.” 

“Once we leave,” Ikora explained, “with this set up, if anything moves in here, is opened, turned on, accessed- remotely or otherwise - we’ll know.” 

“What about the signal blockers set up?” I asked her. “Nothing goes out or comes in here,” I reminded.

“Ana’s working on that now,” Ikora said. “She’s setting it up so this will be the only thing going out and send it directly to our satellites, encoded.”

“And if someone intercepts the transmission?” I asked.

She smiled. “You’re thorough. Zavala’s having one of the satellites from Titan redirected. The signal will look like it’s coming from there, not here.”

I raised my eyebrows, impressed. “Well thought out.” 

She nodded.

Cayde made to stand up and help, but she motioned him to sit back down. “We’ve got it. Sit and relax,” she gently told him, then took a small black box and some connecting wires to the office.

I looked on the other side of Cayde and noticed the bench went to the wall so I set the helmet down and got up, moving over there, and sat sideways on the seat, planting my feet on it in front of me, knees bent, and motioned Cayde over. “Come on. Come lay back and rest.” He looked over at me, seeming mildly surprised I’d offer that here, but didn’t argue and scooted down the bench and turned, wiggling back between my legs and laid against my chest, pulling his own feet up. I wrapped him up in my arms and kissed his cheek as he laid his head back against my shoulder. “Close your eyes,” I whispered. “I’ve got you,” I told him. He did and I started softly caressing the side of his face and forehead as he settled, laying his arms over the one I had around his middle, turning his face into the side of my neck.

After a few minutes, I heard and felt his breathing start to even out, eventually followed by him snoring - which I can only describe as something similar to a cat purring, but with a more robotic sound to it. I smiled at the strangely soothing sound and laid my own head back, tilting it against his, closing my eyes. I was exhausted and could use some sleep, myself, but I didn’t allow myself to completely nod off, so I just lightly dozed until I heard footsteps coming up beside us. When I looked to see who it was, I saw both Ikora and Zavala coming out to collect the rest of the equipment and set it up. I made a soft ‘shhhhh’ sound, so they didn’t say anything, noticing they both saw Cayde had fallen asleep and were already trying to be as quiet as possible.

 

I had watched Ikora and Zavala start to set the equipment up but, despite my own stubborn efforts, must have ended up nodding off while they were working because, the next thing I knew, I felt a gentle hand on my knee, giving it a little shake. I startled as I came awake, tensed, with my hands fisted, ready to fight whatever was there. “It’s Ikora,” I heard and I blinked, looking up at her, relaxing as I woke myself up further and saw everything was fine. I tilted my head to see Cayde was still sound asleep against me, his head now turned away toward the wall, still softly snoring. I looked back up at Ikora. “What is it?” I murmured.

She gave me a soft smile. “Time to go,” she quietly said.

I blinked again, getting my bearings, and looked around to see the space was darkened now, soft, dim lights hidden above ceiling panels the only things lighting the area. Everything was shut down and closed up, and Zavala and Ana were near the main doors leading out to the elevator, getting ready to leave. I looked at Ikora and nodded and she nodded back, going over to get ready herself.

“Cayde?” I murmured, giving him a gentle nudge with my shoulder. 

He snorted a little. “I’ll get right on it, Zavala,” he sleepily grumbled and I looked over to see Zavala looking in our direction with an arched eyebrow when he heard his name. I softly chuckled and tried again. “Cayde? Sweetheart? Time to get up.”

“Hmm?” He grunted, waking some, lifting his head to look around. “Whass goin’ on?”

“Everything’s all set. We’re going home,” I told him.

Cayde yawned and stretched, then came to more fully, looking at me. “What’d I do, fall asleep?”

I nodded. “Mmm hm. Everything’s done. We’re ready to go.”

He seemed reluctant to move from his warm spot with me and I had to admit, I hated letting him get up. It had been very comfortable falling asleep like that with him. When we finally did move and started getting our helmets and gloves on, I noticed Ana watching him out of the corner of my eye. I think she was feeling guilty and wanted to apologize but Cayde stuck close beside me and actively avoided her, even standing in the opposite corner of the lift to Ana, clearly not wanting to engage right now. I don’t think he was deliberately trying to be mean to her, he just really had taken all he could on that front for one day. 

When we got to the surface, the far distant sun had created enough light to reflect off Saturn, bathing the jagged cliffs, ridges, and open tundra in a dim, unsettling, greenish-brown hue. Cayde paused in following me off the lift, looking around. I patiently waited for him, until he finally looked down at me. I offered him my hand as he moved to step down.

“Cayde, I-” Ana began, stepping over to him.

“Save it, Bray,” Cayde quietly said, sounding tired. “I don’t wanna talk right now,” he told her, confirming what I’d been thinking as he took my hand and navigated the steps off the platform. As soon as his feet touched the snow covered ice of the ground, he slipped his arms around mine and looked for the ships, spotting them not too far away, and started walking, tugging me along with him. Behind us, I heard the massive door starting to grind and slide shut, the ground under us shaking from the weight and force. 

We weren’t quite half-way to the ships, when Cayde stopped, staring straight ahead. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

He shook his head, then slowly turned and looked up at the spire. I felt his arms gradually tighten around mine, hugging my arm closer to his body as he pressed into my side. “What is it?” I asked, turning into him, setting my hand on his back. 

“The dreams,” he uttered. “It’s just like the dreams.”

I looked up at the spire. “This is what you see in the dreams? Is that the Dark Tower?” I asked.

He slowly nodded.

“So they are one and the same,” Ghost quietly said, appearing over my shoulder, looking up at it as well.

“It keeps … telling me to come back,” Cayde murmured, barely loud enough for me to hear him. “Nothing leaves. It owns us. Whispers to us. Come back …”

“Cayde?” I gave his back a little pat, trying to get him to look at me.

“Wants us to come back …” he said again, as if in a trance.

“What’s wrong with him?” Ghost asked, floating over next to him, his back end bobbing in worry.

“Cayde? …”. I shook him one more time, but got no response. “Zavala!” I called. He came rushing over. “What is it?” He asked, Ikora and Ana right behind him.

“Stand in front of him. Block the spire so he can’t see it. Cayde?” I asked again, shaking him. “Come on, sweetheart, snap out of it.” 

Zavala got right in front of him and put his hands on the sides of Cayde’s helmet, looking for something, before I realized he was searching for the button to the solar shield cover. He pressed it and the shield over Cayde’s face cleared so we could see him. 

His eyes were impossibly wide and had become a much deeper blue, staring straight up at the spire. His jaw had gone slack as well. “Cayde?” I shook my head. “No, no, no, don’t do this, sweetheart, look at me.” I couldn’t get a response, so Zavala did the only thing I think he believed would work and slapped Cayde right across the face. Hard. Thankfully, he had his helmet on, so it took the brunt of the force, but it was still enough to stagger him, causing him to let go of my arm, and almost fall to the ground.

“Ow! What th- Why’d you hit me?!” Cayde sputtered, holding his hand to the side of the helmet as he tried to right himself. Zavala and I quickly turned him so he was facing the ships and not the spire. “Guys, what are you-?!”

“Who am I?” I asked him, standing right in front of him now, my hands holding him upright by his arms.

“What?” He asked, blinking at me, startled.

“Who. Am. I?” I asked him again.

“I don’t understand, why are you-?”

“Humor me. Answer the question.”

“Aislin,” he said.

“Where are you?” I asked him.

“Enceladus,” Cayde told me, frowning. “Why? What happened?”

“You were staring at the spire,” Zavala told him. “It put you in some kind of … trance. It was rather … troubling.”

Cayde blinked and started to turn and I grabbed his head, stopping him. “Cayde! For the love of - Don’t look at it!”

“Sorry,” he muttered, his eyes briefly downcast.

Ikora and Ana stepped up beside us and looked him over. “Are you alright?” Ikora asked him.

Cayde gave a bit of a nod as he rubbed at the side of his helmet like he wanted to rub at his jaw, looking over at Zavala. 

“Sorry,” Zavala apologized. 

“Hey, you did what you had to do,” Cayde nodded, understanding. “Although now my headache’s coming back.” He winced and looked at me. “I-I think we should go.”

“You’re okay?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. I just wanna get the hell outta here.”

I nodded, worried about what he’d said earlier when he told me he might break if he got hit with anything else. 

“We will be dropping Ana back off on Mars, then return to the Tower,” Ikora told us, her hand on Cayde’s back, giving it a gentle rub. “Get some rest. Both of you. Anything that was planned or needs to be done or discussed can wait. The two of you have been through a lot. Take the time you need for yourselves.”

Cayde glanced at Zavala. “That’s an order,” the other man told him, his tone holding a hit of warm affection and Cayde gave him a little nod. 

Zavala pet Cayed’s shoulder and nodded at him as I thanked them, even Ana, then helped Cayde onto the ship, just wanting to get him off the moon and away from the Crypt. 

“I can’t believe he hit me,” Cayde said of Zavala as we boarded, staying in the back part of the ship. He took his helmet off and rubbed at the side of his face, moving his jaw around. “I can,” Ghost chimed in, to which Cayde looked up at him, frowning. “Why do you hate me, Little Light?” He asked, his voice teasing, making Ghost sputter with fond annoyance.

I couldn’t help it and snorted at them, shaking my head as I pulled my own helmet off, taking his and securing both in a compartment. “You sure you’re alright?” I asked him, turning back to him, gently touching his jaw. 

“I’m not alright but, yeah, I’m alright in … well, whatever just happened. I’m here. Or back. Doesn’t matter. I’m just … I’m tired,” he told me. “Like … genuinely tired, Ais. I just wanna curl up someplace warm and sleep for a while.”

I gave him a hug and nodded, feeling him hug me in return, then eased back and looked at him. “I want you to close your eyes and keep them closed until I tell you you can open them, okay? I don’t want you looking at that thing again.”

He nodded. “Believe me, I don’t want to, either,” he said, and closed his eyes, letting me guide him to the passenger seat and get him secured and strapped in before I sat in my own seat and buckled up, getting the ships engines online. I looked out the window to see Zavala piloting the other ship and gave him a thumbs up that all was well, before lifting us off.

Once we were in orbit, I told Cayde he could open his eyes and we circled around Saturn, Zavala’s ship coming just into view on our left before speeding up and snapping out of sight into jump speed. I glanced over at Cayde, seeing he was looking out the window before he turned his head and looked at me, giving me a nod. “Let’s go home,” he said and I piloted us into our own jump, taking us back to Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on chapter 8 now and trying to avoid a turkey coma! Hope you all enjoyed the bit of snoozing cuddles from this one and will have the next one up soon!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hands out fans to her readers* . Enjoy.

“I need to contact Petra,” I told Cayde as we came out of the jump into Earth’s orbit. “We need to let her know you’re alright.” It had been a few hours and, no doubt, she’d had been worrying when she wasn’t focused on tracking Uldren. 

Cayde sat up straighter in his seat and cleared his throat, nodding. “Go ahead.” He said, and I could see he was preparing himself for the call, his demeanor changing, bringing the brighter, more carefree facade out.

I opened up the secure channel, the speaker lightly crackling before the connection was made. “Aislin? I was getting worried. I hadn’t heard from you in a while,” Petra said. 

“Well, she was kind of busy putting this ol’ Exo back together,” Cayde said. I glanced over at him when he said that, feeling a strange pang in my chest.

“Cayde?!” Petra gasped over the comm.

“The one and only, P.V.,” Cayde told her, a bright smile in his voice.

“You’re - you’re alive!” Petra said, and you could just hear the joy and relief in her voice. “It worked!”

“Yes, but I’m not telling you any more of my secrets,” Cayde teased, chuckling.

“It was worth it,” she told him. “You’re so worth it.”

I saw something pass over Cayde’s face. It was that look he tended to get when he was a mix of overwhelmed and touched, but didn’t know what to do about it. “Yeah, well …”. He cleared his throat. “Don’t let it happen again, okay?” He told her.

“Don’t go dropping yourself down a hundred stories into a high-level cellblock again and I won’t have to,” Petra countered.

“Hey, if I’m gonna go out, I’m gonna go out blazin’!” Cayde told her.

Petra lightly chuckled. “What was there? Was it what you thought might be?”

“It’s, uh … hard to explain. But, hey, important thing is, it worked, right? And, uh … Listen, P.V., all joking aside, I … thanks. Thanks for tellin’ Ais. I owe ya.”

“You owe me nothing. Cayde,” she softly told him. “I’m just glad you’re back with us and alright.”

Cayde nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “So, uh … we’re pretty wiped out. The whole cheatin’ death thing takes a lot outta ya. We’re gonna get some rest but … This thing with Uldren …”

“I’ll keep you both informed. Word has it, they were heading for the Tangled Shore. Sources there haven’t seen Uldren, but the Barons are definitely there.” 

Cayde nodded again. “Let me guess … Spider?”

“I’ve been in contact with him. But you know how he is. He doesn’t give up anything for free.” 

“Course not. What self-respectin' crime boss ever gives up anything outta the goodness of his own heart?” Cayde said. “Or hearts?” He quietly asked under his breath. “I forget. Do they have more than one?”

“That would take the fun out of it,” Petra replied. 

“Well, it’s no fun if it’s no fun,” Cayde agreed, softly chuckling. “Alright. Hey, you … you watch yourself out there, P.V.. Don’t do anything I would do.”

“I’ll be careful, Cayde. I’ll contact you if anything changes. You get some rest. Both of you. You’ve earned it. Aislin?”

“I’m here,” I told her. 

“You take good care of him,” she told me.

I smiled and heard her end the communication with a soft click.

Cayde sat back in his seat, staring at the speaker for a moment before looking out the window again. “So … Tangled Shore … wonder what they’re after there?”

“Who’s Spider?” I asked him. “Sounds like you’re familiar with him.”

“An old Fallen Archon turned crime boss. Struck a deal with the Queen long ago. Don’t know all the details but, he runs a smuggling ring on the Shore and she turned a blind eye to it. Something about him keepin’ an eye on some stuff for her or … something like that. I forget.”

“And, being a crime boss, of course, he’s going to hear things. Like who’s coming and going on this Tangled Shore?” I asked.

Cayde nodded. He looked over at me, watching me carefully for a few moments as I brought the ship down into the atmosphere, nearing Tower airspace.

“What?” I finally asked him, noticing he was staring.

“You’re gonna go after them, aren’t you?” Cayde asked in a tone like he already knew I was going to but wanted to confirm it.

I nodded. “Why? You think I shouldn’t?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No, I know you’re pissed. I get it. I’d be doing the same,” he told me. “Guess I just ain’t used to people doing this sorta thing for me. I’ve never …”. He shook his head again.

I reached over and took his hand, holding it. “Never what?”

He gave my hand a squeeze. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it,” he said and I decided not to push it. He’d been through enough today, so I just nodded. 

 

When we were cleared to dock in the hanger, I checked the time and saw it was early afternoon. That had made it almost eight hours we’d been gone. I saw Holliday hurrying over to the ship as I got out of my seat and I went to the back, opening the ramp door. When I stepped off, I saw Holliday slow in her jog a bit. She looked at me, her features tentatively hopeful. I smiled at her and nodded, then stepped aside as Cayde came down the ramp just behind me.

Amanda’s eyes went wide and lit up. “Cayde!” She ran over to him and nearly knocked him down, tackling him in a hug!

“Whoa! Hey there, pal!” He chuckled, hugging her back. “Glad to see me, eh?”

She leaned back and looked at him, then suddenly punched him in the shoulder. He yelped and grabbed at it, blinking at her in shock. “You gosh dang, idiot!” She yelled at him. “Don’t you ever - EVER - scare us like that again!” She told him, then grabbed him back up in a hug. “Guardian’s aren’t supposed to die, ya big lug. Don’tcha know that?” She whispered, quietly sobbing with relief. 

Cayde put his arms back around her and sighed. “I’m so sorry, Amanda,” he murmured. He looked over at me helplessly and I flashed him a bit of a warm smile. See? He meant more to others than he realized. 

 

I busied myself checking on Colonel, giving Cayde and Amanda some time alone, sitting down beside the hen by Cayde's workbench as she pecked away at some fresh feed Amanda must have given her while we were gone.

I think I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I was being gently shaken. I startled, hands fisting, when I heard Cayde right beside me. “Whoa, whoa! It’s just me, Ais,” he assured. I saw he was crouched down beside me, Colonel on his left, pecking at the coat he was wearing. “Hey, girl. Good to see you, too,” he told her, giving her a little pet before looking back at me. “Wasn’t sure where you went off to. I called for ya, but you didn’t answer. Looks like you fell asleep.”

“Sorry,” I told him.

“What happened to the no sorry’s rule?” Cayde teased.

I smirked, closing my eyes again for a brief moment. “I picked up some bad rule-breaking habits form this mischievous Exo I know,” I told him.

He softly chuckled. “Come on,” he said and offered me his hand. “You’ve done more than enough for one day.” 

I opened my eyes and looked at his offered hand then took it, letting him help me to my feet. He smiled at me and I smiled back, then he offered me his arm. I arched my eyebrow at him. “Lean on me for a bit,” he told me. “Please? It’ll make me feel good,” he told me. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his and leaned into his side. He nodded and started walking with me, heading to the apartment. 

“Amanda okay?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, giving a nod. “And I’ve been threatened with a severe beating if I ever scare her like that again,” he softly chuckled. 

I smiled. Amanda wasn’t the only one scared. “I suggest you don’t then. She has some seriously big wrenches at her disposal.”

“Oh, considering she already punched me in the shoulder, I don’t have any doubt,” Cayde assured me. “I really didn’t know she liked me that much.”

I hugged his arm a little tighter. He really was terrible at recognizing how much he meant to the people around him. “You know, she told me about this time you took her out into the Cosmodrome. I guess you were both looking around at all the cars out there. All the people who … who died, trying to get to safety during the Collapse. She said you told her not to worry about dying. That it wasn’t the end, not since the Traveler arrived … and if she ever felt sad about her parents, to just wait for them to show up again as Guardians.”

“She remembers that?” Cayde asked, sounding both stunned and a little touched. “Huh. I told her that years ago. She was still a little kid.” He shook his head. “She was havin’ a really hard time. She hadn’t been inside the walls long. Her mom had died on the road protecting her and the rest of the refugees makin’ their way here. Her dad, I guess he’d died not long before that. I was still runnin’ the Wilds back then. Andal … Andal was the Hunter Vanguard at the time. But I was here a lot. We’d patched things up between us and I was helping out with stuff that needed doing. I’d notice her, sitting on the wall, looking out there like she was waiting. There was one day I showed up after a run in with some Cabal. My sparrow got banged up a bit. Brought it down to the old hanger to get fixed. She was down there, I thought just gettin’ underfoot, looking for something to do. Heh …”. He shook his head. “But she wasn’t. Ten years old. That’s how old she was. Ten years old and she fixed my sparrow, can you believe that? She just … had a way with the Golden Age tech. Made it run even better than it had before. That’s when she told me about working on it all her short little life. She grew up with it. Took to it. When she started talking about her folks, though … I like kids … but I didn’t know what to do when she started crying. In hindsight, it might notta been the best idea to bring her outside the walls. Too dangerous. But I did. Told her not to worry. To wait. That one day they’d come back as Guardians. … I didn’t know that for sure. But … y’know. It made her feel better. Helped her.”

I gave his arm a squeeze. “You did some good that day,” I murmured. I felt him press a soft kiss to my temple. “I tired,” he nodded.

“You’re a good man, Cayde,” I softly told him, and he pulled his arm out from mine and put it around me for the rest of our walk to the apartment as I slipped my arm around him in return.

 

When we got inside the apartment, I closed the door behind us and leaned back against it with a sigh then started pulling my coat off and taking off my belt and boots. Cayde pulled off the coat Ikora had given him and laid it over the arm of the couch in the living room, then toed off his boots and sat down for a moment, before deciding to lay down on his back instead, looking up at the ceiling.

“You alright?” I asked him after hanging my things up, coming over to get his coat.

He nodded and looked over at me, one arm folded under the back of his head, the other laying over his chest. 

“Did you want the shower first?” I asked him.

He shook his head. “No. You go ahead. I just want to lay here for a bit.” In other words, he wanted some time alone.

“Alright,” I nodded, and let him be.

There was a part of me that felt silly for worrying that, when I came out of the bathroom, he wouldn’t be there. That, somehow, the last eight hours were a dream and … and Enceladus never happened. That Cayde hadn’t survived. But I forced myself to push it aside and _know_ he was there. _Know_ he was home and safe now. 

As the hot water ran over my head and back, I leaned forward into the shower wall, resting my forehead against the tiles and closed my eyes. I saw flashes of Cayde in the prison, felt his weight against me, seeming lifeless in my arms. I even had a brief moment of feeling his blood seeping into my gloves along the palms of my hands and had to press them to the wall to rid myself of that sensation. But the one that got me was the feeling of his warmth being taken away from me, uncertain if I’d ever feel it again. When I’d had to set him down in the infirmary and Zavala had backed me away. It felt like a cold hand had reached into my chest and pulled out what was left of my shredded heart, crushing it.

He was here now. He was alive. He didn’t die. But knowing how close he’d come to that - I slid down the wall and doubled over on the floor, vomiting what little was in my stomach into the drain, feeling both better and worse for it.

 

“You were in there a while,” Cayde said to me from the couch when I finally emerged from the bathroom. My hair was still damp and hung loosely around my face. I’d pulled on a cream, long sleeve, soft cotton tunic top for a sleep shirt that went mid-way down my thighs, the rest of my legs and feet bare, and padded out into the living room. “Is there a reason you’re wearing my shirt?” He asked.

I blinked at him and looked down. “Oh, shoot. It must have gotten mixed up in my stuff,” I told him. I hadn’t even noticed. I’d just blindly reached into my drawer and took it out, pulling it on. I turned to go change when I heard him softly chuckle and looked back at him. “You can wear it, you know? Looks better on you, anyway.” He sat up and motioned me to come over to him so I did. When I got closer, he reached behind one of the pillows on the couch and pulled out a bouquet of a dozen gorgeous red roses and stood, giving them to me. I took them, surprised and looked at him, shaking my head. “Where did you-?”

“I was standing on the balcony for a bit. Saw them down in the Bazaar at that little stand in the corner so I snuck down and got them.”

No one had ever given me flowers before. “Cayde, I … They’re beautiful. Thank you,” I said, swallowing, feeling my eyes sting a bit. 

He reached up and softly caressed my cheek. “Not as beautiful as you,” he murmured and leaned in and very tenderly kissed my lips then wrapped me up in a warm hug and held me against his chest. I let out a heavy sigh, cradling the bouquet to my side and leaned into him, not even trying to be the stronger one in that moment. 

A short while later, I was putting the roses in a vase, Ghost floating over them, looking at them as I set them in the middle of the kitchen table by the window to get some sun. “Those are very pretty,” he said and I smiled, nodding, breathing in the lovely scent on the soft, velvety petals. “Cayde definitely has his moments,” he added, sounding impressed with the sweetness of the gift.

“He’s a romantic,” I fondly told Ghost. When I turned, I noticed Cayde hadn’t gone to take a shower like he’d said he was going to and, instead, was leaning against the archway to the living room, his back to me, staring at something. I went over to him and followed his gaze to see he was looking up at a shelf in the corner of the room. On it was a small basket, the inside holding an old scarf of his from long ago that, while tattered, had been washed and lovingly given to Sundance to use as a little nest where she’d sleep.

I looked at Cayde’s face and saw unshed tears in his eyes and slipped my arms around him and held him. “I’m really gonna miss her,” he whispered, his voice slightly broken as he hugged me back. Ghost came over to us and actually settled on Cayde’s other shoulder, tucking in close to his neck. 

Ghost and Sundance … I don’t want to say they didn’t get along. They did. But they were quite different. Sundance was a lot like Cayde and could try Ghost’s patience more times than not with her wild and carefree ways. And Ghost, he was more straight-laced, and tended to get exasperated with her now and again, the same way he did with Cayde. But, over the past year, both Ghost and Sundance seemed to recognize that Cayde and I were growing closer and it was best to adjust to each other and get along. When I’d invited Cayde to start staying in my apartment, she used to sleep with him, settling in on one of the pillowed cushions to the back of the couch. But, as his time staying here grew more frequent, Cayde and I both decided to find a way to make her feel as welcome as he was, so I’d cleared off the shelf and Cayde brought her little basket and scarf nest in from the Hanger and made it her new sleeping area. She ended up loving it and I remember overhearing her tell Cayde that now it felt like home here.

“We’re all going to miss her,” Ghost quietly said, actually sounding a bit choked up. “She was … unique. Special. And she loved you very much,” he told Cayde.

Cayde’s jaw set at hearing that and I felt his chest shake as he let out shuddering breath through his nose, the tears in his eyes welling up more. He reached up and gently laid his hand over Ghost and pet him, I think appreciating hearing that more than he’d ever be able to say.

When he finally calmed some, Cayde gave me a little squeeze and moved to go take a shower. Ghost eased off his shoulder, floating over to me as we watched him disappear around the corner and heard the door close. 

I reached up and eased Ghost down to my cheek and gave him a little hug. “Thank you for saying what you did,” I murmured. “He needed to hear that.” Ghost made a motion of a nod and I looked at him, settled in my palm. “Are you alright, Little Light?” I asked him.

He looked up at my face and then down toward the floor. “I’ll miss her. I never had another Ghost I was on friendly terms with. At least, not for any long period of time. It was nice to have that. We didn’t always get along, but … we saw the love between you and Cayde. It made us both happy. She - she would still be happy to know he survived and has you by his side.”

“And you,” I added, smiling at him. He lifted off my palm a little and bobbed, then nuzzled my cheek in a rare show of affection before zipping off to another spot in the apartment for some time alone and, I think, to give Cayde and I time alone as well.

 

While Cayde was in the shower, I searched the fridge for something light to eat. My stomach was still a little sore form earlier, but I knew I really should eat something before I slept. It had been almost a whole day since my last meal. I ended up choosing just an apple, though, and made a cup of tea, then went to sit on the couch opening up the mission logs coming into the Tower from other Guardians on the wall terminal. So far, it didn’t look like anything unusual had been spotted. No Barons. No Uldren. No reports of that strange Dark Ether I’d encountered at the prison. 

I wasn’t sure if not hearing anything was more unsettling than if I had. But, I hated to admit, I was glad for the quiet. I was tired. I knew Cayde was, too. And, while I wanted to get on their trail, I knew I wouldn’t be any good for anything if I didn’t rest.

By the time I finished the apple and tea, Cayde came out, changed into a white short-sleeve shirt and a dark blue pair of sleep pants. I immediately smelled the subtle refreshing scent of mint and eucalyptus from the Exo polish he used on his face, followed by a touch of lemon and green clover, mingled with other lovely musky smells that made up a favorite soap of his. There was also warmth. I know. Warmth isn’t a smell. But it was in the air all around him, making the other scents so potent, I felt a flutter of excitement in my chest. It wasn’t like this was the first time I’d smelled him. He’d taken many showers here. Used the same soap. The same Exo polish. But, this time, the familiarity of it was slightly intoxicating in a whole new way. As I set my cup in the sink, I saw him heading for the living room. “Where are you going?” I asked. 

“To lay down,” he said. “This Exo is beat.”

I couldn’t tell if he was playing innocent - testing me - or of he really was innocent in his thinking, not wanting to push anything, despite now knowing for sure how we felt about each other. I didn’t care. I went over to him and took his hand in mine, just before he got to the couch, and started tugging him toward my bedroom. 

He looked at me, curious, maybe even a bit nervous, but followed.

I wasn’t one for bright colors. I mostly liked soft grays, black, occasional hints of blue. Even white, cream, lavender, and shades of green. I also liked soft brown leather and wood. I definitely wasn’t one to go ‘girly’, despite being rather feminine - when not out fighting. My style was what I liked to call modern comfortable. Plush. I was a Titan. My days were filled with heavy, hard armor. Being a wall. Punching a lot of things. Occasionally head-butting. When I got back at the end of the day, sinking into something soft and warm was pure heaven. And it reflected in my bedroom with the soft light gray walls, deep gray floors, white, fluffy down comforter and sheets on a simple wood-framed bed with side tables to match, and a cream-colored rug beneath it. I had splurged once and bought myself a caramel brown leather tufted bench and placed it at the foot of the bed, draping a soft teal throw over it. I had a couple philodendrons in the window, one on the sill, one hanging, and a large bookshelf filled with books and little trinkets I’d collected over the years. There was also a matching dresser with a small silver tray on it that held a couple little perfumes and pieces of jewelry reserved for special occasions. Cayde had only been in here once. It was early on, when he’d first started staying over, and he’d been looking for me to ask me a question about something - I can’t remember what now. What I do remember was him saying it wasn’t what he’d expected. When I’d asked him what he had been expecting, he told me “concrete,” then nervously chuckled and left. I found it funny, since the whole apartment was similar in style, maybe a bit more color with a rustic and eclectic vibe - more lived-in. But my bedroom had been my sanctuary. I wanted to keep it peaceful and relaxing. The opposite of what I tended to portray as a Guardian. 

“You, uh … you really want me to stay in here with you?” Cayde asked me, as I went over to the left side of the bed and picked a remote up off the table, clicking it at the window to bring a shade down and block out some of the daylight. 

I nodded and pulled the covers back and got in.

He looked around the space, taking it in, seeming to want to get a feel for it this time, instead of just glancing around and hurrying out.

“What, uh … what if I … have one of my dreams?” He asked, going over to the dresser. He carefully lifted one of the little perfume bottles and looked at it, sniffing the edge of the cap, before setting it back down, then looked at the little pieces of jewelry. 

“Then I’ll be right here,” I gently told him. 

He looked over at me, then back at the jewelry. “I’ve never seen you wear any of this,” he said.

“Never had occasion to any time recently,” I told him.

He nodded and went over to the bookshelf, looking at the books and some other little things I had set there and I realized he was stalling, this new step a little uncertain for him. “Mars?” He asked, picking up a small rusty red rock I had set there.

I nodded. “From my very first visit,” I told him.

He picked it up and looked at it, then set it back down as he noticed an old, rusted ring with a partially age eaten brass key attached. “What’s this?” He asked, lifting it, showing it to me before inspecting it.

"Something from where I died,” I told him.

He looked at me with curiosity and I leaned back in the pillows. “Out in the Cosmodorme,” I told him. “Amongst all those rusted cars of people who were trying to escape the Collapse. Where you took Holliday when she was little.”

“You … you were one of the people?” He carefully asked and I saw something pass over his face. Like he suddenly realized how close he'd been to me years ago, and there was no way to have known.

I nodded. “That key is from the car where Ghost found me. I held onto it because I wondered if it was mine once. If maybe it was a key to my home or something similar.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. It just seemed … special.” 

He slowly nodded and looked at it again, then carefully set it back on the shelf and went around the bed to the other side, giving it one more tentative look.

I smiled and pet the spot beside me.

He looked at me, then down at the bed before he moved the comforter and sheets back, carefully getting in. 

As soon as he laid back and his head touched the pillow, he sighed and relaxed to the point, it was like he deflated. “Oh my stars,” he uttered. “That’s … that’s comfy.”

I covered my mouth, smiling at his reaction. “When’s the last time you slept in a bed?” I asked him, sliding down further and rolling onto my side, facing him.

“Um …” he studied the ceiling like it would tell him. “You know,” he said, looking at me. “I can’t remember.”

“Seriously?” I asked, frowning. That was … sad, actually.

He rolled onto his side and adjusted the pillow, looking at me, our faces and bodies only inches away from each other. My toes ended up curling at the closeness, and of that wonderful musky, minty scent in the air all around him, my chest and stomach suddenly tingling and coiling with excitement, leaving me barely able to keep my face neutral. 

“Yeah. I … I don’t remember sleeping in a bed,” he told me. “Well … not like this. I’ve slept in make-shift beds. Cots. Infirmary beds. I sleep standing up sometimes … But I’ve never slept in anything like this that I can remember.” 

“I wish I’d known that. I’d have dragged you in here a long time ago,” I told him, my tone maybe holding an air of unintentional flirtation.

Cayde made a shy chuckling sound, looking down at nothing in particular before looking back up at me. His blue eyes gave off a comforting glow in the now dimmed room and I smiled. 

“What?” He whispered. 

I shook my head, my smile broadening a little. “You,” I quietly replied.

“What about me?” He asked.

I was getting that feeling again. Like I wasn’t sure if he was really innocent or just pretending, so I dared to push my luck, the excitement and fluttering in my chest almost unbearable. I shifted closer to him, leaning in just under his chin, then slowly breathed his scent in as I moved my head up, lifting myself just enough to brush my lips and the tip of my nose long his jaw and up over his cheek.

I heard him make a little gasp and I bit at my bottom lip to stop myself from moaning as I settled back down, closer to him now, maybe only two inches away. He was looking at me with slightly wide eyes. “Did … did you just sniff me?” He asked, blinking.

“Mmm hm,” I nodded. “And you smell absolutely divine,” I whispered. “I love your scent … and … it’s driving me crazy,” I confessed.

“I-I can wash it off if it - Ooooh …” he suddenly uttered, realizing _exactly_ what I meant. He swallowed, his eyes holding mine, until I dared to press a little closer, my feet brushing against his under the covers. He jumped a little, but held my gaze, even as I slowly and gently tangled our legs together, leaning back in to kiss him.

“Ais-” he suddenly said, setting his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. 

I paused, feeling a slight tremble in that hand, and I was worried I’d moved too fast for him.

He swallowed again and I noticed his chest was rising and falling a little faster now. “If - if you do this … I’m not gonna want to stop,” he told me. I could suddenly see it; right there in his eyes, plain as day. The fire he’d been keeping at bay. That desire. For so long. The same burning need I’d been feeling. 

I wanted him. 

More than anything. 

I reached up and eased his hand off my shoulder, moving it down under the covers, and settled it on my hip, before closing the last few inches between us. I lifted a finger to his lips and tenderly traced them, gradually sliding my fingers under his chin, coaxing him closer. “Then don’t stop,” I breathed and kissed him.

I felt him tense for just a brief moment, the hand at my hip squeezing as he sucked in a slightly shuddering, quick breath of air before resuming the kiss. He moved his hand around to my back as he tangled our legs together even more, then pressed this whole body into mine. I gasped against his lips, my eyes opening, looking into his as I felt how hard he was, pressed into my abdomen. That had come on fast! He really had been holding back! 

He carefully ended the kiss, his eyes holding mine, and I felt him trembling as he moved his hand back up between us to caress my cheek. I found myself mesmerized, and put my arm around him, holding him close, soothingly caressing his lower back, feeling him let out a shaky breath I wasn’t sure was deliberately controlled form the excitement, or emotion. 

We were both exhausted, but also suddenly fueled with an undeniable passion that overrode everything else - something I’d never felt for anyone before. He looked at my lips, now softly repeating the motion I’d done to him, his finger slowly moving over them. He seemed transfixed. “You okay?” I murmured, still feeling him trembling.

He looked up into my eyes and gave a little nod. “I always used to think you were wearing lipstick,” he whispered. “I used to wonder how, in all the fights and scrapes you got into, it never got smeared.” He let out what sounded like a slightly nervous chuckle. “I didn’t realize your lips were actually black.” He nuzzled me. “Then, after, I remember thinking, how I’d never seen anyone, Awoken or otherwise, who was so uniquely beautiful.” He shook his head. “I think I was starting to fall for you then. Not just after Nessus.” 

"How long ago was that?” I asked.

He looked a little shy, eyes a bit downcast. “While you went looking for my stealth drive,” he quietly admitted. 

I smiled at him. “You unbelievably sweet man,” I murmured and very tenderly kissed his forehead, then just above his right eye, then down on his cheek. He sighed and tilted his head to catch my lips as I moved further down, kissing me again, and moaned, the sound from deep in his throat, as he flicked his tongue out, lightly brushing it over my lips, coaxing them apart. I opened my mouth and he deepened the kiss, his arms going around me as he rolled over onto his back, pulling me on top of him, his tongue exploring. 

I settled my arms on his chest, my hands at the sides of his face, caressing him ever so softly along his cheeks; my fingers following every line, every ridge, down to his jaw, where I curled them and lovingly trailed the backs of them down the sides of his neck. He moaned again, our kisses slow and heated. His hands slid down over my back and tugged the bottom of the shirt up so he could touch my skin. I broke the kiss, lifting my head, panting a little, my eyes closed as I felt his hands, warm and gentle, moving very slowly, actually daring to slide the tips of his fingers just under the laced band of my underwear, then back up and along my spine. He took advantage of my exposed neck and started kissing and licking it, eliciting a soft growl from me, making me shift my hips against him. He hissed and pushed up into me, growling back, his kisses turning to careful, playful nips. 

I shivered at the growl, loving that sound, and lowered my head as he lifted his, nuzzling him adoringly. “Cayde …” I softly breathed, just needing to say his name. To let him hear it on my lips. “Oh, my Little Firefly,” I murmured and heard him moan, as he pressed his face back into my neck then sat us up, the movement forcing me to untangle our legs and straddle his lap. He tugged at the shirt I had on. I lifted my arms and let him take it off, tossing it to the floor, before he pulled this own off, doing the same, then wrapped his arms around me and just held me for a few moments as we both savored the feeling of our bare skin touching and the warmth that radiated between us. I trailed my fingers down the back of his neck and over his shoulders, making him softly gasp before he started kissing along my collar bone, moving lower, his lips gradually working their way over to my right breast. I leaned back a little for him and he flicked the tip of his tongue against the nipple, making me tense with pleasure, gritting my teeth, my toes curling. I squeezed his shoulders, doing my best not to dig my nails into his skin and shivered. He sighed, moaning softly, and flattened the end of his tongue around the little nub and started rolling it as he bobbed his head carefully so as not to get me with his horn, and moved his lips, creating his own version of sucking, making me gasp. My arms wrapped around his head and slowly eased down and over the back of his neck, my fingers moving along the ridges as if they were carding through hair. 

He moaned, seeming to love that, and kissed his way over to the other breast before doing the same delightful little sucking he’d done on the other. I gasped again and leaned back some more and he pulled my hips down into him more tightly. I felt his hard heat pushing up against me, only two layers of thin fabric between us. I was getting so wet and unconsciously rubbed against him a little.

“Cayde, I want you,” I breathed. 

“Shhhhhhhh,” he soothed, kissing the center of my chest. “You Titans … always so quick to go _banging_ into things,” he playfully purred, a grin in his voice at the play on words. “You gotta be slow … Take your time … _Tease_ them.” His hand moved from my back to slowly caress my belly and up between my breasts and I sighed at how wonderful his touch felt - how much I’d been craving it for so long - as I sat back up, my cheeks flushed, the room feeling so warm. I noticed he was staring at my skin, transfixed by the soft, subtle tendrils of faint light that very slowly danced just under the surface, like ripples of water. He’d never seen me naked before. Never seen so much of my skin. His eyes finally found mine and he smiled. “So beautiful,” he breathed.

I smiled at him and kissed the tip of his horn. He closed his eyes and sighed softly then carefully moved us, laying me down on the bed beside him, settling between my legs. He looked down at me, propped up on his arms and leaned down to kiss me but playfully jerked his head back up as I tried to meet him and smirked, making me chuckle a little at how cute that was before he eased down until I felt him start to kiss my stomach and caress my sides. He slid his hands up under my back in a warm massage, while his lips went lower and lower until I felt a tug and looked down to see he had the lace waistband of my underwear between his lips like one would hold it in their teeth. He made a cute little growling noise as he tugged at it some more, his hands moving down under me, between my body and the mattress, and took hold of the back of the waistband and started sliding it down. I watched him, finding him so adorable and so sexy at the same time as I lifted my hips for him so he could sit up and ease them off over my legs. 

I didn’t know where my underwear ended up and I didn’t care. My eyes were on his as he leaned back down and moved closer to me, watching me as he kissed my right knee then lifted my leg and started kissing and nibbling down the inside. As he got lower, to the inside of my thigh, I didn’t realize I’d stopped breathing, holding my breath with anticipation until I heard him chuckle. “You ain’t an Exo, baby. You gotta breathe,” he told me. 

I forced myself to take a breath and he pet the outside of my thigh. “Good girl,” he whispered, then moved to the other leg and did did the same, slow, teasing: kissing and nibbling all the way down until he had to tell me to breathe again. I couldn’t believe how good at this he really was. How gentle. How playful and sweet. It only seemed to make me fall in love with him even more, if that was possible. 

“You act like a man who’s done this before?” I purred, nearly breathless.

He looked at me, rubbing my leg. “I’ve been around a long time,” he whispered.

“That didn’t exactly answer my question,” I grinned.

He winked at me then eased my legs apart and settled down between them. I held my bottom lip between my teeth and felt him nuzzle me, very carefully, making a low soft rumbling sound that wasn’t exactly a growl and wasn’t exactly a purr. I didn’t know what it was, but it only got me wetter before I felt the tip of his tongue lightly tease me with a slow, tender caress over my clit.

I gasped, tensing, and fisted the sheets at my sides, hissing as the soft tingle of pleasure warmed me further and made the excited fluttering deep in my core build. 

“Okay?” I heard him ask with a slightly muffled voice, pausing.

I nodded, then saw his eyes looking up at me when he didn’t hear anything, and I found my voice. “Y-yes,” I managed. I got the distinct impression, even though his face couldn’t really express it, that he was grinning. He chuckled, though, then did it to me again, forcing another gasp from me. My hips bucked a little and his hands went to them, stilling them. I groaned in pleasurable frustration, hearing him chuckle yet again. 

“Mmmm, I think I love seeing you like this,” he murmured, flicking his tongue again, adding a little more pressure this time, making me moan needfully. “Nope. I _know _I love seeing you like this,” he corrected as I started squirming underneath him.__

__He worked that tongue of his until my thighs were trembling and a light sheen of sweat and broken out all over my body while I tossed my head back and forth, panting and arching. It finally got to the point where I grabbed his wrists, hard, needing him to stop. “Cayde,” I gasped, my tone urgent. He stopped and looked up at me. “Please,” I begged._ _

__He smiled and kissed the inside of my thigh as he reached down and undid the tie on his his pants, wiggling his hips and kicking his legs, until he was free of them. He slowly crawled back up my body, and I watched him, holding my bottom lip between my teeth in anticipation until he was hovering right over me, looking down into my eyes. I smiled at him and he smiled back and kissed me, both of us moaning softly against each others lips, my hands lovingly cradling his head, as I felt his weight settle between my legs and the warmth of his body add to my own. He looked at me, and nuzzled me softly, both of us whimpering a little from the tender contact. “Cayde …” I breathed._ _

__“I love you, Ais,” he softly told me and I looked up at him and stroked his cheeks, easing him down to press our foreheads together. “I love you, too, my Little Firefly,” I whispered, then felt his lips back on mine as he carefully and slowly guided himself inside me, holding his breath as he savored every last moment of it._ _

__I’d wanted him for so long, not just in this moment but over literal years. There was no tension, no need to wait for my body to adjust to him. He’d eased in so effortlessly, it was as if that’s where he’d always belonged in a strangely familiar way._ _

__He settled back down on top of me as my legs curled around the backs of his thighs and we took our time, just kissing and softly moaning while our hands, fingers, and lips explored each other anew, telling us what there were just no words for. I discovered I loved moving my fingertips over his skin, feeling the warm silky sensation of how smooth it was and the subtle curves of muscle beneath as they lightly flexed and relaxed with his movements. I’d never felt skin so soft, almost delicate. It was hard to believe how strong he truly was and, just a day ago, how tattered and broken it had all been._ _

__But, now, he was whole. He was here. And nothing else mattered. We’d finally found each other and I let out a little sigh of relief at that as my arms slid around his sides and held him. I felt his hips move a little and I looked into his eyes, seeing a question there. I knew what he was asking and nodded and he moved his hips again, in the faintest little rocking motion. I sucked in a slow, uneven breath as I felt myself start to respond to the way it felt, my thighs tightening around his waist some as I swelled around him even more, feeling every last glorious inch of him as he moved. He slid his arm under me and held me as he rocked against me, pressing his face into the crook of my neck and took a slow, deep breath, moaning. I gasped again and pushed up into him, the motion only seeming to make him move a little faster. The more he moved, the tighter I got, until his rocking gave way to careful thrusting and my hands slid up and curled over the backs of his shoulders. I tried not to bite at him, but I couldn’t help it, and felt my teeth sink into his skin at his shoulder, not breaking it but, if he was capable of bruising, he’d definitely have a mark there later. My nails raked down over his back and he hissed and pushed himself up on his arms and gasped, eyes closed as his hips started moving even faster. He started panting, keening, and groaning and I slid my hands back around to his front and pawed at his chest, arching up into him, groaning as he drove me closer and closer with each thrust. “Don’t hold back,” I breathlessly begged and started matching his rhythm, bucking my hips up into him, unable to lay still any longer._ _

__He let out a soft cry when I pushed up, and he let go, practically pounding into me, hissing before more needy cries of pleasure forced their way out past his lips. Ooooh, he’d been wanting this. So badly. And so had I! I pushed back up into him, giving him exactly what he wanted - what he needed - feeling myself start tumbling closer and closer, past the threshold, until we both nearly screamed in unison, climaxing together and shaking as we finally felt what we’d both been holding onto for far too long._ _

__

__We both lay on our sides, facing each other, tangled up together, arms and legs holding onto each other in an almost fearful way - like we were worried if we let go, the other would vanish. We both had tears in our eyes and were softly crying, the beautiful, slow-building tension from the past year and the stress and emotional strain of this past day finally finding release. Cayde idly stroked the back of my head, fingers slowly moving through my hair, while I caressed his back and kissed his chest before tucking my head under his chin. It was a beautiful peaceful moment of pure love, vulnerability, and affection that I’d never forget and carry with me, even long after both of us were no longer part of this world._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely not the last chapter. Still so far to go and so much to do. But I hope you enjoyed this one. I have taken several cold showers in the process of writing it! *Still fanning self* . More to come!


	9. Chapter 9

_Darkness. All around me, darkness. I can’t see._

_I hear coughing. Gasping. Soft, pain-laced moans._

_“Cayde?”_

_A loud gunshot._

_Low, menacing laughter. The darkness trembled, shaking me, leaving a sinking feeling in my stomach._

_“He didn’t feel a thing.”_

_Uldren._

_“Cayde, answer me! Cayde!”_

_I heard nothing but echoing footsteps._

_A dim light came up in the distance; a lifeless body laid bathed in it, sprawled on the cold metal floor._

_“Cayde …?” I rushed toward him. He wasn’t moving. He wasn’t breathing. “Cayde!”_

_The floor dropped out from under me. I felt like I was falling for the briefest moment, only to suddenly realize I wasn’t falling, I was sinking The floor all around was gone and I was in chest-deep in water._

_No. This wasn’t water._

_It was warm._

_Thick._

_Black._

_I lifted my hands up and looked at them._

_They were slick and covered in … in blood._

_… Cayde’s blood._

_I looked up to where he was laying. Blood was seeping out from everywhere on his body, adding to the seeming endless ocean of it I was trapped in. I tried to move, but I couldn’t seem to get any traction. I tried to swim, but as I did, he only seemed to get further away from me._

_I struggled, harder and harder, my arms and feet kicking for all they were worth, but I can’t seem to move anywhere._

_And, then, suddenly, he was right in front of me and I grabbed his arm. “Cayde? Cayde, I’m here,” I told him, but his body started to sink under the surface, blood pooling up all around him. “No. No, no. Cayde!” I pulled on his arm with one hand and moved my other under his shoulders, trying to keep him up, trying to stop him from going under any further, but I couldn’t seem to stop it. The more I struggled to keep him there, the faster he sank, like something had hold of him and was yanking him down. “Cayde! Cayde, stay with me!”_

_His face was slowly getting covered. I was terrified he was going to drown! I pulled harder, not understanding how I was able to stay above the surface, but he just kept sinking, further and further, until he was completely submerged, save the hand I was holding onto as tight as I could. “CAYDE!”_

_His hand suddenly clamped around mine and I gasped, hopeful at first but soon realized something was wrong. His hand was cold. It didn’t feel like him._

_“It’s your fault,” I heard him tell me, voice all around and in my head._

_I watched as he slowly rose back up out of the blood, his face contorted and eaten away, corroded and covered in blood. His eyes held no light. His body was nothing but a shadow of itself, broken and torn, metal bone exposed, strings of ripped silicone skin and mesh hanging like tattered rags, the blood on him like acid, dissolving all that he was creating a sickening hissing sound. I gasped and tried to pull away._

_“You weren’t there,” he told me, his voice slurred and garbled, accusing, his jaw broken and oozing blackness. “Why weren’t you there?”_

_He started sinking again only, this time, he pulled me down with him, his grip on my hand like iron. “Cayde …” I tried to get him to let me go, pulling at his fingers, but they were slippery and the flesh on them slid off against mine. I was now neck deep in the blood and only sinking deeper, panicking._

_“It’s your fault …”_

_He disappeared below the surface, a few thick, oily bubbles in the place his head had been. I started struggling, screaming as he pulled me further down, the blood flowing into my mouth as I tried to gasp for air. I coughed as it moved up over my face, then over my nose and eyes, until I was in total blackness once again._

_I couldn’t breathe but, somehow, I was still able to scream, so I screamed as loud as I could._

 

“Aislin!” Cayde’s voice, urgent, cut through the darkness, sounding like he was now above me.

I fought the hand that had hold of me, trying to get free, trying to get to him. I needed to get to the surface! I didn’t even care about breathing!

“Aislin, wake up!” Cayde practically screamed at me, sounding frightened.

That tone in his voice pushed through everything else and forced me to open my eyes, my arms still fighting against the pull that had me, legs kicking. 

“Aislin, stop! It’s me!” Cayde yelled, frantic, giving me a good jolting shake.

Save panting, my body froze and I stared up at him for a moment, trying to get my bearings. There was light and I was warm and … not drowning. The blood was gone. The darkness was gone. I could breathe. Cayde was … he was right in front of me, staring at me, a panicked look on his face. 

“Cayde?” I asked, my voice shaking. I looked around the bedroom with wide eyes, not trusting I was really awake. He sighed and eased up on his grip, sitting back on his knees beside me and nodded, looking cautiously relieved. “Yeah, Ais, it’s me. It’s okay,” he said, gently caressing my arms.

I tried catching my breath and looked up at him. “You’re … you’re alive,” I panted.

He nodded. “Of course,” he assured. 

I sat up and touched his face, my fingers tracing over every ridge and every curve, looking him over before moving down to his chest, making sure nothing was broken or gone. I had to know he was solid and real. He watched my hands, then looked up at me. “Ais?” 

“You’re not broken. You’re not … not eaten away,” I barely managed, shaking.

He looked at me strangely, then a bit sadly, shaking his head, laying his hands on mine. “I’m right here. I’m alright. All in one piece,” he promised. I could tell by the look on his face, he was wondering what in the hell it was, exactly, I’d been dreaming about to cause this kind of reaction.

I looked up at him and suddenly saw a flash of how he looked in the dream cover over his face, and I jumped back a little, startled.

“Whoa, hey …” he gently uttered, reaching out for me.

I shook my head just as I felt my stomach churn and scurried off the bed and ran to the bathroom, vomiting into the sink. I barely heard hurried footsteps behind me, followed by a careful, warm hand on my back, rubbing it as Cayde turned the facet on. 

I sort of spaced out after that. I remembered settling my forehead against the cool metal of the faucet, trying to catch my breath and cool water on my face, followed by being wrapped in something warm. Then, somehow, we were on the couch, but the usual roles were reversed now. Cayde had his sleep pants on but was otherwise bare-chested, and had me laying against him in my bathrobe, rubbing my back.

“Sorry,” I uttered.

“Okay, that’s twice, now, you’ve broken your own rule about sorry’s. You’re not allowed to make the rules anymore,” Cayde told me, a hint of amusement in his tone, trying to make me smile.

It worked. I smiled.

“And don’t be sorry,” he told me, fingers caressing my hair, lightly combing through it. “If you knew how many times I've been around disoriented people who have thrown up you'd ... w-well, you'd probably throw up. Granted, they were drunk and hungover but- you know what, never mind. Not important. Just … just tell me what happened. It must’ve been pretty bad.”

I didn’t know how to tell him. I felt terrible. Like I’d let him down.

I felt him kiss the top of my head. “I know I don’t always act like it, Ais, but, believe it or not, I’ve been around a long time. I can take it. Really. Let me be the strong one here for a bit, okay?”

I shook my head. “It’s not that,” I quietly told him. “I know you’re strong,” I said, giving him a little squeeze around his middle. “I …it's me,” I sighed. “I feel guilty. I feel like I let you down.”

“What?” He softly asked, sounding incredulous. “Let me down? Ais, you didn’t let me down. Why would you think that?”

“I should’ve stayed with you. I should’ve gone back to the security hub after getting the doors open for Petra.”

“And done what?” Cayde asked. “Ridden the hub down in a ball of flames with me? - Wait. Don’t answer that. I know you’re gonna say ‘yes’.” He sighed and I felt him rest his head against mine. “So, what did you dream?” He asked, his voice quiet. “I’ve had some doozies, myself, over the years, but never anything that made me sick.”

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, my breath shaky. “Darkness,” I told him, my voice quiet, sounding weak and shaken, even in my own ears. “Uldren. … I hear Uldren laughing. A gunshot. He said you didn’t feel a thing. And then … you’re there. Laying on the cold floor. And I’m trying to get to you. But you just got further and further away, the more I tried to get to you. And then I felt like I was falling. But I wasn’t falling. I was sinking.”

“Sinking?” Cayde asked.

I nodded. “Blood was pouring out of you. Everywhere. I was trapped in it. Then, you were suddenly right there in front of me. But, as soon as I touched you, you started to sink under the surface. Something was pulling you down. I tried to pull you back up but I couldn’t. And then, I heard you. You said it was my fault. Asked me why I wasn’t there for you. And you came back up, but you were … there was no light in your eyes. Nothing. You were all broken and eaten away. Corroded and covered in blood. And you started pulling me under with you. I couldn’t breathe. And I couldn’t save you.”

His arms went around me in a tight hug. “It’s not your fault,” he whispered. “You listenin’ to me there, beautiful? I know you got this bad habit of taking everything on, thinkin’ you can do it all, but it’s _not_ your fault,” he told me. “Whatever happened, it’s _my_ doing. I don’t remember what happened after falling, but, obviously, it was really bad. And you saved me, Ais. You didn’t give up on me. You stuck by me. I’m right here. So don’t beat yourself up. Please?” 

I lifted my head and looked at him. He looked back at me and, before I could answer, he placed a bunch of soft, sweet little kisses all over my face. “This one’s on me,” he told me. “I’m not letting you take it. Don’t even try to argue with me.”

I opened my mouth.

“Ah!” He put his finger on my lips, arching an eyebrow at me and shook his head. “Nope. Don’t you dare,” he told me.

I sighed but smiled a little, then settled my head back down on his chest and felt him start to rub my back again. “See? Take it from me, baby, it feels good to lean on someone now and again, especially when you really need it. You taught me that. And, trust me, that was a really hard thing for me to do before you came along. In fact, I kinda avoided it all together. But you? You made it so … so okay and safe to do. I didn’t feel like I was imposing. I didn’t worry you’d judge me, or use it against me. I knew you never would. Plus, you were just … there. No matter what. So, y’know … let me be here for you. Don’t go makin’ yourself sick again, okay? Please? That … that scared me. And you know there ain’t much out there that can do that.”

I knew he felt bad admitting that when he was trying to be the stronger one right now but didn’t seem to want to hide it from me. 

I sat up a little and nuzzled just under his jaw and nodded as he leaned into the affectionate gesture and softly sighed. I felt bad for scaring him. I couldn’t help the reaction I’d had, though. Seeing him the way he was in my dream … 

Eventually, I eased back enough to look at him, holding my bottom lip between my teeth in contemplation. I didn’t know if it was too early to say what was on my mind. 

“What is it?” I heard him ask and I gave him a little smile as he moved my bangs away from my face to better see my eyes.

“Cayde …”. I took his hands in mine, looking down at them, holding them, softly caressing the backs with my thumbs. I decided it was best to tell him and not hold onto it. He deserved to hear how I felt; to know just what he meant to me. Why I’d reacted so strongly to the dream. I took a careful breath, wanting to say this right. “Sweetheart … when I thought I'd lost you … my world shattered,” I gently began. “One moment you were there and then, the next … you went still. And quiet. The light in your eyes was … gone. And I … I felt like my heart was being ripped to pieces and my soul torn. I don’t know what I’d do without you, my Little Firefly,” I told him.

“Ais-”

“Shhhhhh,” I soothed, shaking my head so he’d let me continue. “Do you know how much you mean to me, Cayde?”

He smiled a little. “After last night, I’d say I have a pretty good idea. Plus, well, the things you’re sayin’ … Sounds like I … like I mean a lot to you.” I think, if he could have blushed, he would have.

I smiled back and reached up, pressing my palm to his cheek, lovingly caressing just under his eye with the pad of my thumb, and looked right at him. “More than a lot.” I murmured. “You’re my _Light_ , Cayde,” I tenderly confessed in a soft whisper. 

His eyes immediately widened when I said that and he gasped. “Ais …”. He shook his head, looking like he couldn’t comprehend what I’d just told him, although I knew he did. 

I nodded. “You’re my Light, sweetheart.”

He gaped at me then swallowed, shaking his head again, seeming unable to believe he could ever, _ever_ be that special to someone.

But he was.

“Do you know what you’re saying?” He breathed.

I nodded.

You see, calling someone else your Light … that was a big deal. A _really_ big deal. It said more than ‘love’ ever could for a Guardian. It was beyond it. It was all of who you were now, all of who you ever were, and all you'd ever be. It was telling the other that you accepted them as part of your very soul and that they would always be carried within your heart. That you’d love and protect them forever, no matter where your journey lead you. They were it. There would never be another.

“You’re everything to me,” I softly continued. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you; as much as I love you. And I never will.” I looked at his shocked-stricken face, and brought his hands to my lips, kissing the backs of his fingers adoringly. “Death isn’t what scares me. It’s living without you.”

I saw he couldn’t find any words at the moment. And, even if he could have, I realized he wouldn’t be able to say them around the swell of emotion I’d stirred. His hands slipped out of mine and he grabbed onto me and pulled me back against his chest, laying us back into the arm of the couch and curled right around me, holding onto me as tightly as he dared. I felt his lips lightly press to side of my neck, kissing me gently, his whole body shaking. It was a good thing he didn’t have to breathe because I don’t think he was in that moment. And I knew I wasn’t because I’d said anything bad - anything he’d rather I hadn’t. I had well beyond overwhelmed him. He could take the tough stuff but the emotional stuff, especially when it ran deep, always seemed to knock him right off his feet. I don’t think anyone had ever come even remotely close to saying anything like I just had to him, let alone _meant_ it. In this life or maybe even any of the others. But … I’d needed to tell him. He deserved to hear how much he meant to me. To know he was truly that deeply loved.

 

After a little while, I felt him start to breathe again. Then, he spoke: “Why me?” He quietly uttered, so low, I almost missed it. “Why do you love me?” He shook his head. “Anything I know about myself … I ain’t nothing special, Ais. I … I don’t feel like I’m someone worthy of your Light. Or any Light.”

I leaned back. “Cayde-6 look at me.” He didn’t have a full name, so saying the ‘six’ was the best I could do to get his attention.

Cayde immediately looked at me, eyes briefly widening. I had never called him by his name with the six after it before. 

“I don’t know what happened in your previous lives- or this one - to make you think you’re not worthy of the kind of love I know you’ve clung to the belief of for so long, but you are. Like you said: You don’t always have to be good, so long as you do good. And you’ve done some very good things, sweetheart. Helped so many and showed them care and compassion when others hadn’t. And I know you’re starting to see just how much you mean to others around you. It may be overwhelming, it may be hard to accept after so long not believing it, but I know you see it now. You _are_ worthy of love, Cayde,” I told him, reaching up, holding his face in my hands. “If I have to spend the rest of this life and beyond proving it to you, I will. But don’t ever tell me who’s worthy of my Light. I alone deem who is … and it’s you. It’s you because I see the Light in you, even now. I see the man you are that you can’t see. And he is far better than he thinks and more worthy than he’ll ever know,” I managed, feeling my eyes sting a bit with emotion.

Cayde grabbed hold of my wrists and held them, tight, looking back at me with unshed tears of his own then pressed our foreheads together and softly, brokenly, sighed. “I love you so much,” he whispered. “But there’s more to it. And I don’t have the words you do. I don’t know how to say what I’m feeling the way you do.”

“Then show me,” I told him, kissing him.

He looked at me, frowning a little, contemplative. Then, he took my hands and stood, gently tugging me to my feet and pulled me out to the middle of the living room and motioned me to stay right there. I did and watched as he went over to the corner of the room and turned on the little music player and punched in a couple buttons. “I, um … well … some days, when you’re gone late and I’m here alone … I play this,” he quietly told me. “It makes me think of you every time. The way I feel when you sit with me and hold me. When you listen to me, even when I ramble on about a buncha old stuff even I don’t understand or really remember all that well. When you just spend time with me cause, somehow, you know I could use the company. When you’re just … you … and you let me just be me.” He fondly smiled and pressed one more button, coming over to me as the music slowly started, the soft sound of a harp being strung and percussion lightly accompanying it. He slipped his arm around my waist and took my hand in his as I draped my arm up over his shoulder softly caressing the back of his neck with my fingers. He pressed close to me and gave me a kiss, then started slowly swaying us to the soothing beat. I smiled and closed my eyes, my cheek against his, feeling him turn his head into mine a little as a woman’s soft voice began to sing:

_When the night has come_  
_And the land is dark_  
_And the moon is the only light we'll see_  
_No, I won't be afraid_  
_Oh, I won't be afraid_  
_Just as long as you stand, stand by me_

My smile warmed at the song, recognizing it. I had no idea he’d been listening to it, or thought of me with any song at all, and it touched a very special place in my heart at the sweetness of it and learning he’d made such a strong emotional connection to something so beautiful when thinking of me.

_So darling, darling stand by me_  
_Oh, stand by me_  
_Oh, stand now_  
_Stand by me_  
_Stand by me_  


_If the sky that we look upon should tumble and fall_  
_Or the mountain should crumble to the sea_  
_I won't cry, I won't cry_  
_No, I won't shed a tear_  
_Just as long as you stand, stand by me_

I pressed closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, lightly caressing his back as we swayed, hearing a little sigh escape his lips. 

_And darling, darling stand by me_  
_Oh, stand by me_  
_Oh, stand now_  
_Stand by me_  
_Stand by me_

“You’re my Light, too, you know?” he whispered in my ear. “You’re my Queen. You always were ... Always will be.”

_And darling, darling stand by me_  
_Oh, stand by me_  
_Oh, stand_  
_Stand by me_  
_Stand by me_

My vision blurred and a tear rolled down my cheek and splashed onto his shoulder. He let go of my hand and hugged me tight as I held him in return and we continued to sway together, the music chasing away the nightmares and the darkness.

_Whenever you're in trouble_  
_Won't you stand by me?_  
_Oh, stand by me_  
_Oh, stand now_  
_Stand by me_

_And darling, darling stand by me_  
_Oh, stand by me_  
_Oh, stand now_  
_Stand by me_

_Whenever you're in trouble_  
_Won't you stand by me?_  
_Oh, stand by me_  
_Oh, stand now_  
_Stand by me_  
_Stand by me_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're interested in just which version of the song Cayde played for Ais, here's a link. Just copy and paste and it should take you right to it. :) . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv2DSmy3Tro . Enjoy! More to come soon!


	10. Chapter 10

“I feel weird going out there dressed like this,” Cayde told me, standing by the door in a brown pair of ranger pants, a black turtleneck, and lighter brown pullover with a hood. He had one of his back up belts strapped around his waist, the knife holster currently empty, and was wearing his usual boots, thanks to Zavala and Ikora bringing them to Enceladus for him. He looked down at himself again, then twisted around to look behind himself, scrutinizing. I think it was missing Andal’s cloak being there.

He’d spent an hour going through some of his civilian clothes, looking for things that were as much like his old armor as possible, trying them on. I told him he didn’t have to wear stuff that looked like his armor, just regular clothes would be fine - that Ikora and Zavala wouldn’t care - but he insisted no one would recognize him, especially not the newer Hunters. I was willing to bet it was more that he just wanted to feel like himself again as much as possible after everything and, also, I knew his physical armor wasn’t just to protect his body. It was part of an image he had. Without it, he felt exposed. And, well … Sundance was gone, too. That, I’m sure, also made him feel like things just weren’t normal.

“I feel naked.” He added, looking at me, hands on his hips. 

I smirked, clipping my boots on. “Too bad you’re not. I like that look on you,” I told him.

He tilted his head at me, eyebrows rising. “So, just go struttin’ around the Tower with only my knife and my, uhh …” he glanced down then back up at me, “ _gun_ , hm?” he asked, teasing. 

I snickered. “An absolute crime that they won’t let you,” I teased back.

He chuckled. “Oh, hey,” he suddenly said, switching gears, “I meant to show ya …”. He came over to where I was sitting as I secured the last clip on my boot and crouched down next to me. “Look.” He showed me the finger he’d nicked with my knife. I looked at it, then up at his face in happy surprise before lightly running my own finger over the cut. “It’s …”

“Yeah, I know,” he nodded. “How ‘bout that, huh?”

The cut was actually healing. I held his hand in mine and tilted it a little, noticing the small scab was black and shimmered, almost like very tiny, fine pieces of metal filings. “Is it sore at all?” I asked him. 

“A little tender, but no, it doesn’t hurt or anything,” he told me.

“So you really can heal,” I said, amazed. 

He nodded. “I wonder if I always could and just … y’know, with Sundance … I never had to before. That I can remember, anyway.”

“I wonder if other Exos like you can heal or if it’s something that happened when we healed you yesterday? Something in the process may have changed things.” I felt somewhat guilty about that. I hadn’t considered the medical equipment may have been newer than when Cayde’s body was originally made. It was very possible something may have been added or altered with his body. I just hoped it was nothing bad. “Do you know if Shiro is like you? Does he have hands like yours or do you think he may be older?”

Cayde frowned. “You know … I actually don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen his hands without his gloves on. But, then, I don’t tend to stare at people’s hands, unlike someone I know.”

I smiled. “I don’t stare at peoples hands, I just stare at your hands cause I find them very beautiful. I can’t help myself.”

He smiled back and I kissed the tip of his finger where the cut was healing. “I’d be curious, if he does have hands like yours, though, or if this is something new as a result of healing you yesterday. Or … losing the Light,” I gently added. “Same with feeling the cold.” 

Cayde shivered at the thought. “Yeah, the healing is good. I ain’t complaining about that. But I’m not fond of the cold.”

“It’s still bothering you?” I asked.

He nodded. “I noticed it when I got out of the shower a little while ago and earlier today when I wasn’t dressed.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” I gently chided.

He smirked. “Cause you warmed me up just fine,” he told me.

I chuckled and leaned forward giving him a kiss. “I can warm you up any time you like.”

Cayde gave me a loving nuzzle in return and I coaxed him a little closer. He got on his knees and knee-walked between my legs and wrapped his arms around my middle, tucking his head under my chin. I wrapped him up in my arms and we both happily sighed at how nice it felt. I absolutely LOVED this feeling - that he was a secret cuddle-machine. And it always made me feel good that I could make him feel so loved, safe, and special. The Titan in me was just naturally protective. I couldn’t help it.

“Can we just stay here like this?” He murmured. “This is way better than the other stuff.”

“It is,” I murmured back. And it really was. He was warm, the clothes he had on were soft, and he smelled amazing. I actually felt a bit sleepy for a moment as I rested my chin on top of his head and curled my fingers to give his back a nice, light, soothing scratch. He let out a happy moan and I smiled. “When I get back, if you want, we’ll cuddle up on the couch and share some ramen while watching an old movie. How’s that sound? I still owe you a bowl. We never got around to getting any yesterday.”

“That sounds wonderful,” he sighed, nodding.

“Good,” I whispered, and kissed the top of his head.

We actually stayed like that for quite a while, neither of us wanting to move. The only thing that forced us to move was when I felt Cayde’s breathing start to even out and I softly chuckled, caressing the back of his head. “Sweetheart, you’re falling asleep,” I whispered. He’d done the same thing with me, twice, back on Enceladus. To know he trusted me so completely - felt that safe with me - he could fall asleep in a place like that … that did something to me I can’t explain. And then there was the fact that he was an Exo and didn’t need to sleep, but he seemed to want to. I wondered if he wasn’t having nightmares like before and that was contributing to him being more relaxed and enjoying that he could sleep now if he wanted to. 

“Cayde?” I murmured, trying again. 

“Mmm?” He grunted. 

“You’re falling asleep,” I softly told him.

“Comfy,” he sleepily said.

I smiled. “I know. Me, too. But we really need to get up.”

He groaned and took a breath, reluctantly easing back and stretching. “What exactly’s going on today, anyway?” He asked me as he stood, offering me his hand.

“I’m meeting with Petra on the Tangled Shore,” I told him, taking his hand and standing. “Apparently she's got a meeting with Spider set up. We’ll see what we can find out about the Barons and where they may be hiding. I don’t know about Uldren, yet, though. But I got a message from Ikora while you were in the shower. She and Zavala want to see us in one of the meeting rooms first.”

“Right,” he nodded and lifted his hood on over his head. “Well, let’s get to it.” He pulled on his gloves and paused just before opening the door, pressing one more kiss to my cheek, then hurried out.

I stood there a moment and smiled, very much liking the way things were now. No more wondering. No more wanting. No more displays of affection that had to be cut just shy of what we both really wanted to do but didn’t. It felt so good. I just wish the prison hadn’t been the catalyst.

 

As we made our way through the Tower to the meeting room, Cayde got a few curious looks thrown his way, but no one said anything. It wasn’t strange to see a Guardian - even a Vanguard - out of uniform from time to time. Likely they just were wondering why. Of course, it was also possible they were looking at me being with him and were wondering that, too. I’m not sure who or how many people saw us yesterday as I leaned against Cayde and walked with him to the apartment. But, if anyone had seen us, I’m sure the rumors would spread rather quickly. We never hid that we were close with each other, but we didn’t make a show of it, either. Yesterday had been different, though. Personally, I didn’t care what anyone said or thought, if anything, but I didn’t know how Cayde would do with it, since he tended to be a rather private person. 

I’d talk with him about it later.

 

When we got to the meeting room, both Ikora and Zavala were there waiting. “How are you feeling?” Ikora asked.

“I never appreciated sleep as much as I have in the last few hours,” Cayde told her. “Or a bed. Or a hot shower.”

She smirked at him and I noticed Zavala was looking at Cayde carefully. “What about the things we discussed yesterday?” he asked Cayde, stepping over to him. “Do you feel any different than you did before?”

“Different? No,” Cayde told him, shaking his head. “Still feel the cold, though. Not all the time. Just the same way I imagine you do.” He shrugged. “Oh, and this …” He pulled his glove off and held his finger up for them to see.

“It's healing,” Zavala uttered, eyebrows rising. 

“May I?” Ikora asked Cayde, holding out her hand.

Cayde nodded and offered it to her. She held his finger carefully and lightly running her thumb over the healing cut, shaking her head. “You never knew you could heal?”

“Well, that’s the other thing we talked about. I don’t know if I could heal all along, or if this is something new.”

“I’d like to talk to Shiro,” I told them. “See if he knows anything or if this is something unique to Cayde. Either by design or the healing process yesterday.”

“Hmm. Worth looking into,” Zavala nodded. “But, first, there is another matter that needs tending to.” He handed Cayde his hunting knife and the hand canon known as Trust. 

Cayde looked down at the hand canon, picking it up. “Why are you giving me this? Where’s my gun?”

My eyes widened. “Oh, shit,” I uttered. I hadn’t told him. 

Cayde looked at me. “What?”

“Uldren has the Ace of Spades,” I told him. “I’m sorry, Cayde, I forgot you didn’t remember.”

His eyes widened and he looked a mix of both shocked and angry. “Prince Whiny Face has my—! That son-of-a—. If he does anything to that gun …”

“I’ll get it back,” I promised him.

He looked at me like he didn’t want me to have to do that on top of everything else, but also like he was really grateful I would try. The Ace of Spades was _his_ cannon. To know Uldren had it added insult to injury. I laid a hand on his arm giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

I _would_ get it back.

He nodded and sighed then pulled his glove back on and slipped his hunting knife in its holster before he looked over the cannon, checking the chamber. “Okay, so it’s loaded. Why did you give me this?” He asked Zavala. “Not like I can do anything with it right now.”

Ikora leaned back against the table and crossed her arms. “Actually, that leads into why we asked you both here,” she told him. “Ever since the Traveler woke, it’s been speaking to me,” she told us. “Visions of crowns, roses, silver trees. Candles that turn into bonfires. And, then, yesterday, I had another vision along side it. Twin spades,” she told us. “And the Valley of the Traveler on Io.”

Cayde looked at me, then back at Ikora. “Soooooo …”

“The Traveler wants you and I to go to Io," I told him, the spades and Io being obvious to me. I wasn’t quite sure what the other things meant, though. Yet. But I was sure the meaning would be revealed in time.

Ikora nodded.

“Whoa, whoa. I can’t go,” Cayde said, holding up his hands. “That place is crawling with Cabal, Taken, and Vex. I’ve got no Ghost,” he reminded us. “And no armor.” 

“Actually …” Zavala told him, and went over to a rack set up near the wall and pulled a garment cover off of it revealing Cayde’s armor, all fixed, but now more heavily reinforced in the chest and back and had slightly heavier leather leg covers and shoulder pads. Andal’s cloak was still tattered, but cleaned, as was Cayde’s scarf and his dark orange leg warmers. The shin guards were also fixed and polished and the white knee pads were replaced with the same style as the old ones but, since one had been lost in the fight, Zavala had apparently seen to it he got new ones. “I had … considered commissioning you new armor,” Zavala admitted. “This set was quite damaged. But I know how special it is to you,” he told Cayde.

“You managed to have this cleaned and repaired, _and_ reinforced in less than two days?” I asked Zavala, stunned.

“I know a few people,” Zavala smirked.

Cayde stepped over to the armor and looked at it, running his fingers over it, then looked at Andal’s cloak and touched it, inspecting it, closing his eyes and sighing softly in a way I could only describe as relief. “Thank you, Zavala,” he quietly told him.

Zavala nodded. “You’re welcome,” he softly said. “Also,” he picked up a bag on the floor near the armor and opened it, taking out a Titan utility belt. It was tailored in soft brown leather that matched Cayde’s uniform, with a teal buckle, the same teal color of Cayde’s face, and had a black and gray Mark hanging from it with a white spade emblem. He handed it to me with a bit of a smile. “Whatever it is Ikora saw, I have no doubt it is a journey the Traveler intends for the two of you to be on together. It’s only fitting.” 

I ran my fingers over the Mark and softly smiled at Zavala. “Thank you,” I told him and actually hugged him. He seemed surprised at first, but returned the hug. “You make me very proud,” he quietly told me. 

I smiled and blinked back tears over what he said. He wasn’t just my mentor, he was my friend. It meant a lot to me to hear him say that.

When I stepped back, both Zavala and I cleared our throats and tried to look like we hadn’t just gone mushy. “That doesn't leave this room,” he told me and I smirked. “And ruin your reputation? Never,” I told him.

Ikora was smirking and Cayde sniffled. I looked over at him. “So beautiful,” he mock cried, wiping an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye.

Zavala rolled his eyes and I laughed. “Shut up,” I told him.

Cayde chuckled and pushed himself off the wall, stepping over to me, looking at the new belt and Mark, admiring the spade emblem. “So, you want Ais and I to go to Io, with the thinking the Traveler is going to tell us something? Then what?” He asked, looking at Ikora. 

“That depends on what the Traveler tells you,” she said. 

Cayde made a face and looked over at his armor. 

“It’ll be like Nessus,” I told him. “You didn’t have the Light then and you did fine,” I reminded.

“I was stuck in a Vex loop for days,” he pointed out.

“And you walked out of the Exodus Black after we freed you and got home okay,” I offered. 

“Well, yeah, after you took out the Fallen,” he said.

“So, I’ll do that on Io,” I told him. 

He frowned and nodded. 

I could tell something was bothering him.

“We’ll … leave you to get changed,” Zavala told us, I think sensing there was something we needed to talk about. He pet Cayde’s shoulder as he stepped past him and left the room with Ikora to give us some privacy.

I set the belt down on the table and turned to him. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

He looked down at the floor and then up at the ceiling, taking a breath, shoulders slumping a little. “Nessus was different,” he told me, looking at me. “Yeah, I didn’t have the Light but … we weren’t …” He gestured between us. “We weren’t together. Now … I’ve seen what my getting hurt does to you. I … I don’t want to put you through at again,” he sadly uttered.

“Hey,” I softly said, going over to him, slipping my arms around him. “You know what would hurt me more?” I gently asked and he looked at me. “Seeing you caged up in here afraid to be who you are. You’re a Hunter, sweetheart. You’re meant to be out there.”

He looked at me, seeming surprised I’d be so understanding. Yes, I was scared. I wouldn’t deny that. But there was no way I’d stop him from being who he was. 

“You’re sure?” He asked.

I nodded. “Positive,” I whispered, softly smiling. “And I’ll be right there with you.” I gave him a kiss. “I’ve got you,” I told him.

“You’re damn right you do,” he told me and hugged me tight.

 

Once he was feeling better, his mood picked back up and he actually got excited to get back in his uniform. I waited until he got the insulated underarmor on then brought over the one piece suit that went on under his chest armor and chaps. He pulled it on and buttoned it up, adjusting the shoulders and sleeves. As he finished, I reached out and ran my fingers over the red and white Earth patch on his upper left arm. “Besides the obvious, does this have another meaning?” I asked him.

He looked at it, also running his fingers over it, and nodded. “It’s another memory trigger,” he told me. “If something ever happened to me and I woke up on another planet with no memory, hopefully it’d prompt me to come back here. Course, I don’t worry about that as much now that I got you,” he told me with a smile. 

“You know I’d come find you, hm?” I asked, smiling back.

“You found me all the way out on Nessus,” he reminded me. “Even if Failsafe hadn’t helped, I know, if anyone was going to find me, it was you.” 

I gave him a kiss, rubbing his chest. “I’d have never given up.”

“I know,” he whispered, settling his hands on my hips.

I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes for a few moments, recalling the time on Nessus and the trouble he’d gotten himself into, then started softly chuckling.

“What?” He murmured.

“Only you could have gotten yourself into that much trouble all the way out there,” I fondly told him.

“I’m not to be outdone,” he told me, a huge grin in his voice.

I gave him a playful shove and he kissed me, chuckling, before I went and got his chest piece off the rack. I brought it back to him, stepping behind him and opened it so he could slip his arms though. As he did, I lifted it up onto his shoulders and adjusted it for him, then moved around to his front and smiled at him as I zipped it up. He watched me, a warm expression on his face, while I secured the vest to his sides with clips so it wouldn’t ride up as he moved. He gave me another kiss, a playful look in his eyes, and I smiled, caressing his cheek before I went to get the chaps. 

I ended up shamelessly sliding my hands up the outsides of his legs as I pulled them up, maybe a little closer to him than I needed to be, and secured the belt around his waist, cinching the two straps at the front. I grinned at him and gave it a little tug, pulling him into me.

He grunted at the tugging, resting his hands on my shoulders and arched an eyebrow at me. “You keep doing that, you’re going to have to take those back off.”

I pressed into him and slid my hands around behind him, grabbing his ass and giving it a good, firm squeeze. He gasped, eyes going huge. “It’ll give you something to think about for later,” I purred, then kissed him and went to get his boots, leaving him standing there slack-jawed and completely stunned.

When I came back with the boots, I knelt in front of him to help him slip them on and he swallowed with effort. “You’re doing that on purpose,” he told me, his voice a bit higher pitched than normal, which tended to happen when he got excited.

I grinned up at him. “Am I?”

“You totally are!” He said, even as he used my shoulder to balance himself and get his foot in one of the boots.

“Bad Titan, I know,” I playfully said, winking at him, then helped him with the other boot.

“Very,” he nodded and I chuckled again, getting the leg warmers on him next, caressing his calves as I straightened them.

“Next time you need to get in your armor, I’m so doing this and showing you no mercy,” he huffed.

I stood and ran my finger along his jaw. “You’re such a tease,” I told him, kissing his lips, then went to get the shin and knee guards, as well as his holster strap. I got the guards on for him, making sure they were comfortable for him, then stood and draped the strap over him so it was settled on his right shoulder and crossed down to his left hip, attaching it to his belt. “Do you want to put the cloak on?” I asked. It having been Andal’s, I didn’t want to put it on him if that was something he’d prefer to do.

He shook his head at me, though. “You can put it on,” he said.

I nodded and went and got it, handling it carefully, and stepped back behind him and draped the clasped ends over his shoulders. He held them there for me until I came back around and lovingly clipped them into place and fixed them so they were sitting properly. 

Wordlessly, he slipped his arms around me and pulled me close, kissing me softly. “What was that for?” I murmured with a smile, draping my arms over his shoulders. 

“For taking such good care of me,” he said and kissed me again.

 

It took all my willpower to eventually ease away. I could have stood there and kissed him for hours. 

I handed him his gloves, which he pulled on, followed by his knife that he holstered, then gave him the canon. He looked it over once again before securing it, then pulled this hood up over his head and turned for me. “Well? What do ya think, baby? Do I look handsome as ever?”

I grinned. “Magnificent,” I told him.

He actually bounced a little then came over to me and backed me into the table. “Caaaaayde ...?” I asked, chuckling a little as I looked at him with curiosity. 

He smiled and reached down to my belt and unclipped it, keeping his eyes on mine as he did. He let it fall onto the table behind me, then leaned in like he was going to kiss me, only to back away as he grabbed the other belt and slipped it around my waist.

I gave him a sly smile as he stepped between my legs and tugged on my hips a little more than he needed to to get the belt around me and adjusted before he clipped it in place. I felt his hands start sliding up my sides after that, and all around my chest armor. “What are you doing?” I purred, grinning.

“Just, y’know … making sure everything is good and secure. All … strapped in.”

“Uh huh,” I murmured, grinning a little wider. “You sure it’s not just an excuse for you to get all handsy?”

“I would never,” Cayde told me, sounding all serious but holding a twinkle in his eye.

I laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dressing Cayde. Mmm. Always wanted to do that. So there's chapter 10. More to come soon!


	11. Chapter 11

We circled Io, coming in near the Valley of the Traveler and I brought the comm link up to Ikora and set it on standby. 

I looked out the window as Cayde circled us over the Lost Oasis. “You see that?” I asked him, pointing down into the crater where the Traveler had touched Io. A massive linear burst of Light was emanating from it.

“Yeah,” Cayde nodded. “I’ll bring us around. We can transmat down on the cliff there,” he said, pointing near the edge of the crater. “Looks clear enough.”

I nodded but felt a tightness in my stomach. I kept imagining the worst once we left the ship. That a Taken, Cabal, or Vex was going to manage one lucky shot and take Cayde out. I made him wear his helmet for extra protection but I was still worried. Based on Ikora’s visions, though, the Traveler seemed to want both of us here. I just hoped, somehow, it knew Cayde no longer had the Light and would keep the worst enemies at bay.

When we transmatted down, Cayde and I both had our weapons ready for anything that might be in the area. “Looks clear,” he said, turning, looking up at the ridges around us as we made our way across a path to the edge of the cliff. I stayed close to him, anyway, my senses sharper than normal. I didn’t tend to connect to the Void as well as I did to my Solar but, if it got bad and I had to, I could bring up the Ward and protect him until Ghost brought the ship back around and got him out of here.

As we neared the edge, there was a low, echoing rumble and burst of Light. We looked down into the crater just in time to see the base of the Light burst out from all around and expand, coming at us in a massive silent wave, shaking us as it passed through us. We both stumbled back and I looked at Cayde to make sure he was alright as he gave me a nod. 

“What. Was. That?” Ghost asked. 

“Ikora ...?” I asked. 

“Whatever the two of you saw was for you and you alone,” she told us. “The Traveler is speaking to you.”

“Ghost, you picking anything up?” I asked him.

“Yes. I put it on your trackers. Looks like it’s … coming from somewhere behind us,” he said. 

We turned. “Over that way,” Cayde told me, pointing off to the left. I nodded and we got down from the edge and made our way over to where a gigantic tree's root system coiled in among some rocks, creating a sheltered archway.

As soon as we got near it, I felt a strange electrified tingle through my body making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. 

_“Devotion inspires bravery. Bravery inspires sacrifice. Sacrifice … leads to death.”_ The voice was other-worldly. Echoing and a mingling of both male and female tones.

“Is that-?” Cayde started to ask, but I put my hand on his arm, gently shushing him and nodded. I tilted my head to look under the rooted arch where there was a small burst of light, a silver tree quickly growing up from it then changing to black, a pool of what looked likeTaken energy rippling on the ground all around it.

“These are different from the other trees we saw,” Ghost uttered as the tree faded away.

“You’ve seen these before?” Cayde asked me.

I nodded. “Near the shard. But not quite like this.”

“These visions are constructs of the Traveler’s Light. And Light reacts to its surroundings,” Ikora told us.

I checked the radar. “That way,” I told him, pointing ahead of us.

The massive trees of Io creaked and moaned as we moved along further into the cave, the sounds echoing off the stone walls. 

As we got deeper, my radar lit up in red in front of us and I held my hand up to Cayde. He nodded, having seen the same on his screen. We crouched down and peered around a large twisting root that came down in the middle of the cave pathway. 

“Damn. Taken,” I whispered. 

“Four of ‘em. No problem,” Cayde shrugged, standing, then went around the root and, quick as lightning, fired four shots, taking them all out, then ducked back down beside me. “See? No problem,” he said, winking at me.

I smiled but inside I was shaking. I knew I shouldn’t be, but I was. And, as much as I wanted to believe he could do this - _knew_ he could do this - I was so afraid of something bad happening to him. “Okay, let me lead,” I told him, forcing myself to push the thoughts aside, and carefully followed the path even deeper, Cayde right behind me. 

As we made our way down a winding passage, the cave got darker and the green walls gave way to a more aqua tint, opening up to a large space where stalagmites rose up from the floor and vegetation hung over edges and wound around large roots. I heard soft clicking and chattering and knew it was more Taken. I looked around the corner and saw they were gathered around another tree in the center of the space, where it had sprouted up out of a small pool.

_“The garden grows in both directions,” the Traveler spoke. “It grows into tomorrow and yesterday. The red flowers bloom forever.”_

I frowned and aimed my scout rifle, destroying the three Taken that had gathered at the base of the tree just as it disappeared. 

“The Taken can see the trees,” Ghost said. “No … they sense the Light.”

“The Taken are weeds. Pull them up,” Ikora told us.

“Do you have any idea what this all means?” Cayde whispered to me like a little kid trying to understand a very difficult test question.

“I’m thinking,” I told him as we started following the ping on the radar again. The red flowers had me. “Okay … so … the only red flowers I know of, besides roses - which Ikora mentioned - that I can think hold any significance, are the ones from the Black Garden,” I told him. “And the garden … I don’t know if that’s the Black Garden the Traveler means or just a garden in general and it’s a symbol for something else. The garden grows in both directions … Yesterday and tomorrow. Yesterday and tomorrow are time. So …”

“So … The garden … whatever it is … spans all time and the flowers always bloom?” Cayde offered. “What are the flowers?”

“Ikora, do we know what kind of flower those were in the Black Garden?” I asked.

“No,” Ikora replied. “The only place they’ve ever been seen is there.”

“Right,” I uttered. “So, no symbolic reference. In that case … We have a garden. It spans time. With red flowers that bloom forever.” I stopped walking as I tried to think. 

Cayde stopped as well and watched me. “Do you have it?” He asked.

I shook my head. “It’s sitting right there, I know it,” I told him. “But I just can’t connect it right now.” I sighed and motioned him that we should keep going and walked with him out the other end of the cave. 

As we stepped back outside, the Pyramidion was off in the distance in front of us. More Taken were up ahead as well. Just as we saw them and they saw us, another low rumble and burst of Light erupted all around us, knocking into us again, making Cayde and I stagger, Cayde grunting. A stray burst of corrupted energy from one of the Taken Acolytes came flying at us and and I jumped in front of Cayde, blocking him, getting hit in the back. I hissed at the pain and turned, shooting it in the head, making it disappear with a ghostly howl. A roar followed, coming up from just over the hill where it had been standing, followed by a stream of burning Solar energy. 

“You okay?” Cayde asked, hand on my shoulder.

I nodded as Ghost healed me. “Watch the fire,” I told him, jogging over to the hill and cautiously peering over it, noticing another tree had formed just on the other side where the roaring and fire was coming from. A Taken Knight. Lovely. I aimed and fired, managing to get a couple Taken, but the others darted out of the way and I missed. Cayde came up beside me and hit them right in their eyes in three quick shots, making them disappear. “Thanks,” I smiled. 

“I think I said it before,” he told me as he reloaded. “You and me? Good team.”

My smile became a grin and I nodded. 

When he was ready, we followed the trail down over the crest and around to where we spotted a Taken absorption shield around another tree, a Taken Wizard with a shield of its own inside, casting arcs of lightning at a Blight. 

_“You might have been kings and queens of the Deep!”_ The Traveler told us. _“But you have toppled Oryx and have not replaced him!”_

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Cayde asked no one in particular as I shot at the smaller Taken. 

“Wait here,” I told him. “You can’t go inside the shield.” I ran out past a couple Taken Thrall who were darting around, and slid through the shield, firing at the Blight, destroying it. The Wizard retaliated by blasting me while the Thrall tried to swarm me and shred me with their claws. Ghost healed me as best he could while I fired at the bigger threat, which was the Wizard. I heard Cayde’s canon going off, shooting the Thrall that were trying to attack me from behind. 

When the area was clear, the tree disappeared and another eruption of Light shot out, staggering us for a third time.

“Where now, Ghost?” I asked him, looking around. 

“There!” Ghost told us, bringing up a new ping on the radar to our right.

“Right behind ya,” Cayde told me, sounding a little winded.

“You alright?” I asked him.

He nodded and made a shooing motion with his hand, coming up behind me. I frowned but nodded and we hurried off toward a barrier of rock along the side of a path. Not thinking, I easily double-jumped up to the top to look down the other side where there were four more trees grouped together.

“Uuuh. Hey, Ais?” Cayde called.

I turned around, noticing he wasn’t with me. He didn’t have the jumping ability without the Light. “Sorry,” I told him, and hopped back down beside him. “I didn’t even think about you not being able to make the jumps,” I said.

“Yeah. That’s a-that’s a bummer,” he nodded. 

I smiled. “Put your arm over my shoulder,” I told him as I slipped my right arm around his waist. Once he did I nodded. “Hold on tight,” I said and jumped with him, carefully landing us down onto the rock above. 

“That’s so much more glid-y than what I used to do,” Cayde remarked as I let him go. “How come you guys get to glide?”

I chuckled. “We’re heavier than you Hunters. If we made the same jumps as you, we wouldn’t just break our legs, I think our knees would end up where our shoulders are.”

“Good point,” he nodded and crouched down, scurrying over to a raised rock and looking over. “More of those trees,” he said. 

I nodded. “I don’t see any Taken, though.” I pet his arm. “Hang tight,” I told him and hopped down and carefully made my way to the trees. When I got to them, nothing happened. They just disappeared without any Taken showing. I looked around again, but there was nothing, so I went back to get Cayde and brought him down with me. 

“Not gonna lie, I kinda like you doing all the heavy lifting,” he told me, amused.

I chuckled. “Not gonna lie, I kinda like the excuse to manhandle you a bit.”

He snorted a laugh. 

Once we got down off the rocks and up around the next bend, there was another absorption filed around a Blight with a Wizard and more Thrall and, this time, a couple Taken Cabal. “Just like last time?” Cayde asked me.

I nodded. “Worked pretty good.” I went running in to distract the Wizard and take out the Blight while Cayde shot the Thrall and distracted the Phalanx for me.

 _“Humanity must have protectors … Will you stand with me?”_ The Traveler asked.

I destroyed the Wizard but the Phalanx were harder with their blast shields. Cayde had weakened them, though. I got one, only managing to get bounced back once, but the other wouldn’t move its shield, so I got it to face me with its back to Cayde, leaving it exposed, allowing him to shoot it.

The tree began to disappear just as another eruption of Light passed through us. “Uuugh. All this rattling around’s starting to make me tad queasy,” Cayde groaned as he stumbled over to me. 

“You need to sit?” I asked him, willing to get us to a safe spot if he wanted.

“No, no. I’m okay,” he assured. “Don't think the jumping is helping, though, but I'm alright. Where to now Ghost?” He asked.

“Down over the hill,” Ghost told him. “Watch yourselves. Looks like there’s more Taken.”

There were also more trees they’d gathered around. We took them out and noticed there were a lot more trees formed down below. Cayde grabbed onto me and I got us down then followed along where they were growing until we came upon yet another shield and Blight not far from us.

“How many of these things are there?” Cayde sighed, bending over a little, holding his stomach.

“Okay, you’re not alright,” I said.

He waved me off. “Just the jumping getting to me. I’m fine.”

I gave him a doubting look but he shook his head. “Really. Come on, we got this.” 

I shook my head but put my arm around him and carefully as I could, jumped us over to a stone platform above them. “You hit them high, I’ll go low,” I told him, then leapt down into the middle of them as started firing.

As we got rid of the group and broke up the shields, the Traveler spoke again. _“Even the stars are brighter now … the whole cosmos is ablaze …”_

“I’m not following this,” Cayde told me, sitting for a moment when I went back up to get him. “Are you?”

“I sort of was. Now I’ve kind of lost it,” I admitted.

“The Traveler’s been alive for a year,” Ghost said. “Why has it waited so long to speak to us? Why not sooner?”

“It must have been waiting for something,” I said. 

Ghost's back end twitched strangely as he seemed to be contemplating something.

“The Traveler gave you a vision even before its rebirth,” Ikora told me. “When Ghaul blocked its Light, the Traveler showed you a path forward.” 

Something came to mind when Ikora said that but I realized I could just be grasping at straws with it, so I kept it to myself until I was more sure, either way, if I was right or not.

“The road to recovery is long, but when we grow stronger, so too does the Traveler,” Ikora pointed out.

I noticed Cayde looked at me out of the corner of my eye and could tell he knew I was trying to put pieces together and find meaning behind certain phrases and symbols. “You got any ideas?” I asked him.

He shook his head. “I followed you on the garden thing. And then that part where we didn’t take Oryx’s place …” he gave a thumbs up. “And, yeah, if humanity needs protectors, sure. I’m all for that. Thought that’s kinda what we’ve been doing all along. But not sure what everything being brighter now means. Unless I’m taking it all way too literally.”

I shrugged. “Any guess you have is as good as mine,” I told him. If I could write it all down and have time to focus on it and study it, I might be able to come up with some ideas, but fighting the Taken was distracting. 

We continued following the pings Ghost put up on the radar, the next one leading us back into another cave. As we got inside, another eruption of Light shook the ground and passed through the stone and us. Cayde dropped to his hands and knees this time and I hurried next to him, crouching down just as he yanked his helmet off and started heaving.

I set my rifle down and supported his chest, rubbing his back until the worst of it was over. Nothing had come up, but that didn’t stop his body from trying. 

“O-okay. Maybe it wasn’t … the jumps,” he groaned, once he could speak, sitting back on his knees and leaning into me, catching his breath.

As soon as he was close to me, he seemed to calm and feel better, so I continued to rub his back, trying my best to soothe him further. 

“Y-you don’t feel it?” He asked me.

I shook my head. “I feel the shaking, but it’s not making me sick when the Light hits me,” I quietly told him as Ghost appeared, looking Cayde over, twitching strangely again.

“What is it?” I asked Ghost.

“I-I’m not sure,” Ghost told me. 

I suddenly heard a commotion not much further down in the cave.

“I’m okay,” Cayde managed, nodding. “Go check it out.”

I didn’t want to just leave him but if something was heading toward us, I’d need to stop it before it got here. “Stay right there, okay?” I told him. He nodded wordlessly, closing his eyes, taking careful breaths as I let him go and got to my feet. “Stay with him,” I told Ghost, and picked up my rifle and quietly crept forward.

I saw this cave opened up like the last one, with the same aqua glow about it, smaller leaved trees and vegetation growing out of the rock and twisted roots that had wormed their way inside. It would have been quite the peaceful and beautiful place if not for the Taken and, as I was now seeing, Vex. One must have stumbled onto the other and now they were fighting amongst themselves, more of the vision trees sprouted out around them on the floor of the cave.

I heard the faintest sound behind me and quickly turned to see Cayde was crouched and coming up behind me. 

“Sorry. He wouldn’t listen to me,” Ghost told me.

“I thought I told you to stay back there?” I whispered. 

“I’m alright,” he quietly assured me, then peeked over my shoulder. “Aaaand now we apparently have a bunch of little pissed off Vex and one really big pissed off Vex.”

I nodded. “Who are tackling a Taken Primus.”

“How d’ya wanna handle this one?” He asked. 

“There are too many and the Vex can teleport,” I told him. “I’ll take care of them and you - stay here,” I pointedly told him.

“Yes ma’am,” he said, noting my tone was now no nonsense and he’d better listen to me. I looked at Ghost and he bobbed, staying beside Cayde behind the rock as I made my way out and started picking off the weaker Vex and Taken, working my way in toward the more powerful ones, eventually getting it down to just the largest Vex and the Taken Cabal Primus being left. I hit them both with a solar grenade, then pulled out my grenade launder and started firing. They were both so focused on fighting each other, that I was able to kill both of them without a lot of resistance.

When I made my way back to Cayde, I found him sitting back against the rock, waiting with Ghost. “I was good,” he assured me, holding up his hands in surrender, and I smirked offering him mine to help him to his feet. He staggered a bit once he was upright and flashed me a slightly guilty look. “Still just a little dizzy, but better,” he assured me, waving it off like it was nothing. He didn’t argue in the slightest, though, when I put my arm around him, helping him keep his balance and taking it slow as we made our way through the cave into another open space on the other side.

There were more Taken there, mostly Thrall this time, darting about, along with one really annoying Knight that kept shooting fire at us. Compared to the last part of the cave, though, it was a breeze to eliminate them and move on but we came to a dead end not far down, with an opening to another section up above us. I could hear the Taken on the other side and saw the soft glow from the shields and Blight. They were right near the entrance. “You’re going to get nailed if I bring you up there with me,” I told him. “Let me get them away from there first,” I said, then jumped up.

It was a good thing I had left Cayde down below because as soon as I jumped up, a Taken Phalanx was waiting and blasted me right back down near Cayde and Ghost with a hard thud, making me slide backward on my ass along the cave floor, slamming into a stalagmite with a grunt of pain.

Cayde rushed over to me and helped me to my feet, even though he was a bit uneasy on his. “Okay, that hurt,” I said, petting his shoulder, then activated my Light, becoming lit in flames, and ran and jumped up over the edge and charged through the shield, throwing flaming hammers at anything that moved, and ended up taking out the Blight and every other Taken in the area. As the last one faded away, the Traveler spoke once again: _“The Light lives in all places, in all things. You can block it, even try to trap it. But **the Light will find its way**._”

With the area clear, I went and got Cayde and Ghost, jumping us up over the ridge and down over the other side where one of the trees had remained even after all the Taken were gone. “Can - can we get closer?” Ghost asked and I nodded.

As we neared the tree, it started glowing, then bloomed with beautiful, shimmering silver leaves. Cayde and I both took our helmets off to get a better look at it just as it began to break up and fade away. “Congratulations,” Ikora told us. “Remember, when we channel one Light, we connect to something much bigger than any _one_ of us. Even departed sparks - like yours Cayde - still leave a trace in this luminous web we call the Light. And, in some very rare times … that trace, finds its way back.”

Cayde frowned. “What?” He carefully uttered, eyebrows furrowed. He looked at me as if I’d have an answer, but I didn’t. “What did she mean, ‘finds its way back’?” He asked me anyway.

Ikora never answered and I noticed light beginning to form all around us from the ground beneath our feet. It grew brighter - beautiful and warm - surrounding us, gradually rising. We watched in awe as it got higher and higher, almost to our chests. Cayde leaned in closer to me, putting his arms around me in an almost protective way as I did the same for him, not sure what was happening but somehow knowing not to move. As the warmth began to settle into our bodies, a peaceful tingling sensation in my chest started to build, gradually getting stronger. 

Ghost and I suddenly gasped in unison, startling Cayde. “What’s wrong?” He demanded and I shook my head, unable to answer as the tingling in my chest pulled at me and the Light around me rose, taking the sensation with it, nearly lifting me off my feet as it enveloped Ghost. “Do you … do you feel that?!” Ghost asked, just before his shell burst out and the Light twisted and coiled down around Cayde, lifting him up off the ground, right out of my arms. The whole cavern grew so bright I had to shield my eyes until the Light reached its peak and burst, dancing off the walls all round us, sounding like shattering glass as it faded out. Cayde was gently lowered back onto his feet, and stood there, gaping and panting, eyes wide. “Ais … W-what was that?” 

Ghost pulled his shell back together around himself and started spinning down around both of us. “Do you feel it, Cayde?” He excitedly asked him. “Your Light is back!”

Cayde looked down at himself, then at me, then at Ghost, shaking his head. “H-how?” He breathed looking like he was going to faint. I reached out for him, putting my arms back around him and he nearly fell into me, holding onto me tightly.

Ghost’s back end twitched. “It was Aislin.” he told him.

“Me?” I asked as both of us looked up at him.

Ghost bobbed. “When Sundance died and the Light passed through you in the prison. A trace stayed with you. Your Light held onto it.”

“That tingling sensation I just felt … that was Cayde’s Light? That was inside me?”

Ghost bobbed.

“W-what?” Cayde barely managed, blinking at me, eyes still impossibly huge.

I shook my head, almost as shocked as he was, then looked up at Ghost again. “I don't understand," I said. “Guardians have lost their Light around other Guardians before and that’s never happened.” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Ghost asked me. “Love. Your love for him was strong enough to hold onto some of his Light.”

Cayde looked at me like he wanted to say something but didn’t know what. I nodded in understanding and eased his head onto my shoulder, caressing the back of it, looking up at Ghost. “And … you knew?” I asked him. “That’s-that’s why you’ve been acting different around Cayde ever since we healed him. You were feeling a connection to him.”

“Wait, you mean …”. Cayde looked up at Ghost. 

“He’s your Ghost, too, now,” I uttered and shook my head. “How? One Ghost for two Guardians at the same time? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“I don’t know the how,” Ghost said, shaking his body. “I just know, when Cayde woke up on Enceladus, I felt a familiar draw to him, just like I did to you when I found you in the Cosmodrome,” he told me. “His Light was mingled with your Light.” He studied Cayde for a moment. “Still is. Part of your Light is now within him to strengthen the piece you carried.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” I asked.

“I wasn’t positive,” Ghost said. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up if I was wrong.”

Cayde looked at me, his expression still completely stunned. 

I couldn't believe it, either. There was only one other time I knew of where a Ghost had two Guardians, but it wasn’t at the same time. It was with Jaren Ward who was the mentor of Shin Malphur. When Jaren was killed, his Ghost bonded with Shin. The Guardian who would come to be known as The Man With The Golden Gun.

“Ais, I …” Cayde shook his head, still not knowing what to say. 

I reached up and caressed his cheek, smiling softly at him. “See?” I said. “I told you I had you,” I whispered around forming tears, laughing a little at the irony that statement now held.

Cayde blinked at me as it suddenly registered, then half laughed, half cried and hugged me back as tight as he dared before we separated enough I could kiss him and caress his face, pressing my forehead to his. “I love you,” he whispered in a shaking voice, filled with emotion.

“I love you, too, my Little Firefly,” I whispered back and kissed him again just as small trees, like the ones Ghost and I had encountered near the shard, began to spring up all around us, emanating the warm, yellow glow of the Light. 

Unfortunately, their presence attracted the Taken who began appearing nearby. Cayde reached for his gun but I stopped him. “Wait. Move to the tree behind you,” I told him. 

“What? Why?” He uttered as the Taken began to close in on us.

“It’ll charge your Light,” I told him and gave him a little push backward as Ghost bobbed a nod at him before disappearing so he wouldn’t be harmed by any fire from the Taken. 

Cayde stepped back and the Light around the little tree surrounded him. I watched as his whole body became engulfed in bright, flickering Solar flames. He looked down at himself in awe, like he couldn’t believe it was real, then let out a cry of joy and laughed, fists punching at the air, before he ran toward the Taken and jumped up into the air above them, spinning around, his arms shooting out, sending burning blades raining down on them, turning them to ash before his feet ever touched the ground.

Another group of Taken materialized behind me and I turned, facing them, stepping up to another tree. As the Light charged my own, I felt that it was different than before. Flames rose out of my body, swaying slowly, almost teasingly at the enemy, then swirled around my hands and connected mid-air and formed a massive flaming hammer. I looked at it, awe-struck then grinned, almost wickedly, at the Taken before I leapt into the air, swinging it up and around then brought it and myself crashing down into them. The ground shook sending some flying, their bodies crackling and turning to ash, others becoming caught up in flaming tornados in the wake of the hammer.

“Whoa …” I heard Cayde utter from off to my side. I looked over at him, grinning again. “Oh, I like this,” I told him, hefting the hammer before I ran up to another group of Taken that appeared and did the same thing, hearing Cayde laugh behind me as the ground shook. 

We spent quite a while fighting off swarm after swarm of Taken; our twin Solar flames casting our shadows on the cave walls, brute force and graceful strength dancing together as one.

I swear, I’d never seen Cayde happier than he was in that moment!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ... yeah. That happened. :) . More to come soon!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! So sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. Had a lovely bout of insomnia hit twice with a couple goes of not sleeping for 28-29 hours. You'd think, okay, no sleep, I'd get some writing down but no. The brain was mush and I spent it mindlessly playing Destiny and trying to form the chapter but with no luck. I just couldn't focus enough to write it properly. Once I got myself straightened out, though, it all flowed nicely. So, FINALLY, here is chapter 12.

Cayde and I sat atop one of the rocky cliffs of Io, listening to the low murmurs and groans of the ancient trees around us as we watched the light of the distant sun set. He was nestled back against me, as we usually sat but, this time, Ghost was joining us, settled in on Cayde’s shoulder.

“I was so afraid I’d never feel this again,” Cayde quietly admitted. “I lost it once - we all did - and, once I got it back, it was such a rush. Felt so good to know I was back in the game. Losing it a second time … Never thought I’d be so lucky to get it back. Never even dared hoped.” He hugged my arms around his chest. “The two of you didn’t give up on me.”

“Like you said to me, sweetheart: ‘I’d open the gates of hell for you and let the world be damned'.”

He moved his head, careful of his horn as he turned it, and pressed his face to the side of my neck, kissing it softly before settling there for a few moments. I wrapped my arms and legs around him a little tighter, almost protectively, and watched the sky beyond slowly change color, the soft purples and blues, fading out to near black, as the aqua green hue of the planet faded up into the night sky, the stars twinkling softly.

 

The peacefulness of the evening was cut short when we a communication from Ikora came through. Apparently Petra was very worried something had happened to us, due to our missing the meeting with Spider. I winced and apologized and Ikora assured us that she explained the situation to Petra - not in detail but just that it had been very important and missing the meeting was warranted. Thankfully, Petra had been able to secure a new meeting with him but Spider was less than happy, to put it mildly. I had no doubt, if he accepted helping us find Uldren and the Barons, it was going to take a lot to rebuild the trust first. Of course, just to spite us, and annoy us - as we’d done to him - he set back meeting us for a few hours because he knew time was important in finding them. We wasted his, he was going to waste ours.

“Not surprised by that,” Cayde admitted once the comm link was closed. 

“Me either, actually,” I murmured.

Cayde sighed and shifted a bit. “Well, this sort of, uh … sort of leaves some time open for something I … I’ve been wanting to ask you. And … since we’re already out here …”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I-I want to go back to the prison,” he told me.

“You sound like you were afraid to ask me,” I murmured.

He shrugged, seeming like he didn’t know what to say to that. I’d expected him to ask eventually, though. With our without the Light. There was a gap in his memory. He didn’t like that. Even if it was a painful memory, if he could recall it, he wanted to. Especially to find closure with Sundance.

I gave him a little squeeze and nodded. “We can go if you want,” I softly said.

I felt his arms hug mine. “Thanks, Ais.” He lifted his head and turned it to look at Ghost as best he could. “So, Little Buddy, looks like you’re stuck with me now, huh? Never thought that’d happen did ya?”

“No. But I can think of far worse people,” Ghost quipped.

I snorted, smirking.

“Ouch,” Cayde uttered, but you could hear the affection in his tone and knew it was just familiar banter between the two. Ghost liked Cayde, even when Cayde exasperated him. And, in the past year, especially when Cayde started staying with me, they gradually grew closer and more familiar. I had no doubt, no matter what had happened, the circumstances, or the reasons, Ghost would have stepped up to take the role.

 

When we left Io, Cayde put in the coordinates for the Reef and, soon after, we were nearing the Prison. Instead of heading for the walkway where we’d landed before, though, Cayde circled us around to the lower levels and hovered the ship nearby, transmatting us into an area of the person with a secret entrance, explaining to me this was how he and Petra had secretly brought Uldren and the others in so no one would see them. They hadn’t been sure of Uldren’s condition at the time and it was better to keep things from the rest of the Reef and outsiders until they could determine what to do.

I nodded. It was smart. Better than causing a panic, considering everything that had happened. I knew he’d been officially declared dead, though. Which, I gathered, happened after Cayde helped bring him in. So, apparently his condition was too far gone. Apparently Petra had determined it was better to lock him away and give those left a sense of peace.

As Cayde finished telling me what happened, we found ourselves near the entrance to Deck Zero. I went over to the lock control and turned it, the doorway creaking and hissing as it opened. We could smell the still heavily smoke-laced air mingled with concrete dust from the crash. It was dark inside now, save a few places where light from above was shining down. Ghost appeared and lit up the area for us as we made our way in. 

The area was like a massive cavern. Piles of rubble and broken, twisted metal and decking lay everywhere. Levels of walkways and cells, all damaged from the crash were mangled and torn, some with floors completely drooped out form under them. Cayde looked around, carefully venturing in further. I followed, looking around as well. 

“Wow,” Ghost uttered, looking up at the hole far above us that Cayde had crashed down through. I looked up, then all around. This was such an easy ambush site. They’d have had no trouble surrounding him in here. Why the hell had he risked it? I wanted to ask but two things stopped me: One, I knew Cayde was a bit of a showoff at times and he couldn’t help himself, making such an entrance. And, two, asking wouldn’t help him. It’d only make him feel worse. And I didn’t want that.

I noticed then that Cayde was looking near a large hole in the wall and Ghost went over to him, lighting the area up as Cayde stepped through. I knew where it led but followed anyway, feeling my heart beating a little faster, and like there was something trying to crush my windpipe. I did my best to ignore it and swallowed as I stepped out on the other side where more soft light from the other levels was shining through, a few dim lights for the area still lit. Cayde had stopped and was looking down at the floor where I now saw smeared and dried blood had been left. It was his. “Is this … This is where I - where you thought I died, isn’t it?” He asked, looking over at me before looking back down at it, noticing a smeared trail that led from the wall to this spot.

I nodded. He looked back up, following the smeared trail along the floor from the hole in the wall and I guess he figured he must have come through the wall and either dragged himself or was dragged along the floor. “You sat here with me?” He asked, his voice quiet.

I nodded. “I did.” 

Cayde looked up and around the area then spotted something. I followed his gaze, but I didn’t see what he was looking at. “What is it?”

“Security camera,” he said, then turned around and headed for a doorway on the other side, getting it open and going inside. Ghost and I went with him. He sat at the large console and started typing things into it, looking for the records from the break. When he seemed to have found what he was looking for, he opened them and started playing the video recording. For the first few moments, there was nothing. The area was empty, the room sealed. Then, the camera shook and scrambled, then blacked out for a while before it came back on, a bit muddled and scratchy, the screen jumping every now and again. 

After a couple more minutes, the concrete wall suddenly exploded and Cayde went crashing trough, landing on the floor like a ragdoll. 

He typed something in to the computer, bringing up the controls and turned the volume up. I stood nearby, setting my hand on his shoulder, Ghost floating beside us, as Cayde watched himself on the camera slowly begin to move again, groaning and coughing, gasping for air as he started trying to drag himself along the floor. Footsteps could be heard just out of frame before Uldren stepped into it, standing in front of Cayde. When Cayde noticed him, he stopped trying to move and half rolled on his back, looking at Uldren. 

“Well, this- this is awkward. I - Y-You got a gun I can borrow?” Cayde had asked him, coughing, his voice metallic and echoing from his injuries. I felt my jaw tensing.

“No,” Uldren responded, sounding bored. He lifted up the Ace of Spades, showing Cayde he had his gun. “But I do have a bullet … with your name on it.”

Cayde groaned. “Any second now, my parter is gonna roll in here and kill … Every. Last. One of you.” He coughed. “And you, my man -”. He started coughing again, unable to finish what he was saying. 

I felt my eyes sting and I held my breath, forcing it back. Cayde was right here. He was alive. He needed me. Don’t lose it again. I just had to keep telling myself that no matter what happened on that screen.

“Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh …” Uldren mockingly soothed. “This is going to hurt…” He said, caressing the gun. “A lot.” He aimed the gun at Cayde. “Any last words?” 

I frowned. I thought I heard two voices there. Uldren’s and a woman’s. I glanced down at Cayde but saw he was just watching the screen, his expression, even for an Exo, unreadable.

On the screen, Cayde coughed and managed to get himself sitting up, then looked up at Uldren and, in a clearly snide way asked him: "How’s your sister?”

There was a pause, then the gunshot, and Cayde’s body dropped and went still.

I closed my eyes, my hand giving his shoulder a squeeze. 

Soon after, the Barons all filed through, waking past him on both sides, paying him no mind, like he was just a broken piece of metal laying on the floor. As they stepped through the airlock, that’s when I came in and Uldren turned and looked at me, lowly chuckling. “He didn’t feel a thing,” he said, waving Cayde’s gun at me just as the doors closed.

We spent the next few minutes watching me holding Cayde and listening to the last words we thought we’d say to each other. I could feel the low tremble in his body under my hand and moved behind the chair, putting my arms around him, holding him, feeling him reach up and hold my arms in return. He sniffled a little, even though I could tell he was trying not to.

I think the part that got to him more than anything was watching me sit there with him after the moment I thought he’d died. I closed my eyes through it. It had been a moment of pure hell. Strangely, it felt like it had happened so long ago, yet just moments ago both at the same time. It was a very unsettling, surreal feeling that left me a bit dizzy. When I felt his breath hitch, I opened my eyes and lifted my left hand to his right cheek and eased his head toward me, kissing his left temple. “It’s okay,” I murmured.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured. 

“Shhhhh,” I soothed, shaking my head. 

We sat there until he watched me pick him up and carry him out of the frame, taking him to the ship and, even after that, we both needed a few more moments. Eventually, though, Cayde pet my arms and nodded, wanting to get up. He turned the computer off and stood, leaving the room. When I followed, I saw he was going back through the wall to the other side and Ghost and I went with him. Once on the there side, I noticed he was looking around on the floor. It was pretty dark, so Ghost went over to him and lit up the area, following where Cayde was looking until, finally, Cayde stopped and got down on his knees, picking something up. I went over to where he was and crouched down beside him to see he’d picked up a piece of Sundance’s shell, holding it carefully in his hand, tracing his finger over the little red-orange and gold piece. He then looked around the floor and saw more pieces and began picking them up, too, his hands shaking more and more until what I’d expected would happen did. He crumpled over and started crying, hugging the pieces in his hands to his chest. I wasn’t sure if he remembered what happened or not, and it didn’t matter. Sundance had been his Ghost. His best friend, confidant, and, in a way, soulmate, for over two hundred years, since first bringing him back a Guardian. I had only been a Guardian for five and I couldn’t imagine the loss and pain I’d feel if something happened to Ghost, so the pain Cayde was going through now … 

I unclipped my chest and shoulder armor, taking them off and set them aside, before I put my arms around him. “Come’ere,” I murmured, holding him close. “It’s alright,” I whispered, looking down at the floor, seeing more shimmering pieces to her shell scattered around in Ghost’s light beam. I looked up at him and could tell he was sad, too. I reached up and eased Ghost down with us, his light beam fading as he tucked himself in with Cayde, sharing in the sorrow of Sundance’s loss while I held them both. 

 

We sat there for … I don’t know how long. It was far worse than what happened on Enceladus. That had been a breakdown brought on from a mix of relief and understanding as well as learning what he meant to me. Knowing I was there and that he had an outlet he could trust. That he wasn’t alone. But this … this was pain from loss. And Cayde didn’t do loss. It terrified him. He avoided it whenever possible. He distracted himself from it and even had a difficult time saying the words ‘died’ or ‘death’ at times when it came to people he knew or cared about. He would call it ‘the other thing’ rather than call it what it really was. I wasn’t sure if that was something brought about from Andal’s death, deaths of people he knew over the years, or something from old memories in different lives that just triggered something in him to avoid it. Whatever it was, though, it took its toll on him when he had no choice but to face it. He was brave. And he was strong. And his own death, that was something he could handle, that I knew. But when it came to others he cared about and loved … one of two things always happened. Either a wall went up and he just didn’t acknowledge it, or it hit him hard, like now, and left him in agony. The part I hated most was, I couldn’t take it from him. I couldn’t bear it for him like I wanted to. All I could do was be here and help him through it as best I could. Which, I knew, that alone meant everything to him, even if he couldn’t say it right now. Still, I would have given anything to not have him have to go through this.

After a little while, when he’d gone quiet, I tilted my head to look at his face and saw he was just staring off at nothing. “Cayde?” I murmured, but got no response. 

Ghost looked up at him, then at me. “Is he … alright?” He asked me.

I shook my head and kissed Cayde’s temple as I caressed his cheek. “Give him a few minutes.” 

I knew what had happened. The same thing that happened after the dreams. He’d shut down. Gone somewhere else in his mind. I didn’t know if it was something Exos did to cope with the memories they had or of this was just the way Cayde alone handled things. The first couple times he’d done it, it had worried me. Now, it still did, but not as much. I knew, eventually, he’d come back. He just needed time. 

After a while, I felt him move a little and looked down to see him glancing up at me. “Hey,” I softly whispered, trailing the backs of my fingers over his cheek. 

He looked at me, studying my face, not saying anything.

“You know who I am?” I murmured.

He looked at me for a few more beats then nodded.

I nodded, too. “Who am I?” I gently asked.

“Ais,” he uttered, his voice sounding raw and gravely.

I nodded again. “You know where we are?”

“Prison of Elders,” Cayde replied.

He knew the routine. He understood he sometimes went away and this was the little check to make sure he’d come back.

He looked down at his hands, opening them a little to look at the pieces of broken shell he was holding then closed them back up and laid his head on my chest, tucking it under my chin.

Ghost looked at him. “I can … I can collect the other pieces,” he gently told Cayde. “Every one. No matter how small,” he offered.

There was a beat of silence and stillness before I felt Cayde give a little nod. Ghost bobbed and floated up in the air, his light beam scanning the area, finding all the pieces, even the tiniest one, and collected them the way he was able to collect shards of crystals and other elements from the planets we visited. 

When he was done, Cayde held his hands open for Ghost and let him take those pieces, too. Ghost did and, once his hands were empty, he curled them up again and snuggled up into an even tighter ball in my arms.

I really hadn’t expected this severe a reaction to Sundance’s death. Of course, I’d expected him to be sad. Even expected him to cry. But not this. It was like he was on the border of catatonia. I didn’t know what to do. “Do you want to go home?” I gently asked, rubbing his back. “You don’t have to go to the Shore with me,” I offered.

He shook his head. “No. I just … just hold me for a little while, okay?” He quietly asked.

“As long as you want, sweetheart,” I murmured.

 

I think it was honestly a good hour before Cayde finally got to his feet. He even helped me get my armor back on, but was fairly silent in the process. He looked like he felt guilty, almost actively avoiding my eyes until I slipped my fingers under his chin and made him look at me. 

That’s when I saw it. Something in the way his eyes looked back at me. The haunted look. He remembered. Everything that had happened. I didn’t know if it was watching the video footage or seeing Sundance’s shell that had triggered the memories, I just knew he remembered everything that happened.

“I should have known better,” he quietly told me, shaking his head. “I - they were surrounding me.” He looked up. “Up there,” he pointed to the surrounding level above us. “All of ‘em. And I was standing right here. And, like an absolute idiot, I called her out to heal me. I didn’t get under cover. I didn’t try to shield her. Nothing. I just called her out and … that’s when he shot her.”

“Who?” I asked, setting my hands on his upper arms, caressing them. “Who shot her?”

“Pirrha. The Rifleman,” Cayde told me. He pointed up to a broken metal beam far up on the ceiling. “He was hanging up there. Waiting.” He shook his head. “I should've known better. It’s my fault.”

I moved to pull him back in for another hug, but he jumped a little and backed away, shaking his head, then stepped away from me and slammed his fist into a large broken piece of concrete flooring that had fallen and lay slanted down, metal rebar holding it in place. I heard the crunch of the concrete but also the sound of his hand breaking from the force and saw his face crumple in pain as he quickly turned away from me, grabbing at his fist, making a painful whimpering sound. 

Ghost immediately healed him and he sighed and leaned back against the concrete looking completely lost.

I gave him a few minutes before I went over and leaned against the concrete beside him. I didn’t try to touch him or hug him. I just stood there with him until, finally, he leaned against me and sighed. I tilted my head to the side, resting it against his and felt his hand slide into mine. I gave it a squeeze.

“You really don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to,” I gently said. “I can take you home if you just want to be alone for a while.”

He shook his head. “No. I need you, Ais. And … I need to do this. For Sundance.” He looked at me. “You find him - Pirrha - I get to take him out.”

I nodded and gave his cheek a soft kiss. “I’ll find him,” I vowed. 

He squeezed my hand back and then let me lead him out, returning to the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. Poor Cayde. But I had to figure in having been with Sundance for what I guessed, based on the lore and other little things, is about 200 years, give or take. The lore itself says he first became known in the City records 126 years ago from the time of the Destiny games but he said he was much older than that. I'm not sure if he meant that as in general, meaning he was going back to when he was a human/Exo in the Golden Age, or just as a Guardian. So I played it safe with a little over 200 years. Anyway, being with a close friend/confidant and soulmate of sorts for that long, to lose them in a moment you think is your fault, that would really hit hard. Especially with the memories coming back. 
> 
> Anyway, despite the emotional ringer there, I hope you all enjoyed it. Working on the next chapter and I hope, fingers crossed, insomnia doesn't hit again and I can get the next chapter out sooner! :) .


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another chapter!! FINALLY! I apologize again. I have completely lost track of time and the holidays seem to be coming far too fast, so I had to pause and do a little real life catching up to get ready for Christmas. On the upside, between that and more writing, some Dawning Festival fic ideas came to mind, so I played the Dawning Festival today for added inspiration. Also, yesterday I ended up playing around with some editing tools and took a couple screen caps of Cayde and Aislin and put them together. So, for those curious, here's a link to the finished piece: https://aislinavalbane.tumblr.com/image/180995477912 . Now, on with chapter 13!

We still had a couple hours or so before Petra would contact us with the exact coordinates I needed to go to to meet Spider so we decided to head for the Shore and wait below the High Plains. 

As we approached, it looked much like I’d imagined it would from Cayde’s description. Bigger than I thought, but still about the same in appearance. Bit’s of a fractured asteroid all connected with cabled wire and remnants of space debris, old tech, and whatever else could be scavenged and pieced together. What was out of place, though, that I hadn’t expected, was what looked like the top of a massive, ornate cathedral rising out of heavy mists off in the distance. “What is that?” I asked Cayde, pointing to it as we neared the Shore.

“That’s an old watchtower,” he said, circling us around one side of the Shore. “Something to do with the Awoken. But, good luck gettin’ near it. What you see is as close as anyone’s got. Soon as you fly a ship over there, it disappears. I asked Petra about it once. She went on this long … thing,” he said, twirling his hand in the air. “I forget what it was she was talking about. I stopped paying attention after a bit. Anyway, it’s something Awoken and ancient and since I ain’t Awoken, basically, none of my business.”

I nodded. “So … Uldren and the Barons escape super max and come here. Where there happens to be a huge mysterious Awoken structure nearby. What do you want to bet them being here’s got something to do with that tower?” I asked.

Cayde looked at me then out the window at the tower far off in the distance. “Oh, I’d say a good sized chest of loot,” he nodded. 

“That might explain why Petra hasn’t been saying much about tracking Uldren,” I offered.

“Awoken and their secrets,” Cayde muttered before he glanced over at me. “I-I didn’t mean you in that.”

I smirked. 

Once he got the ship settled under the Shore I turned in my seat and looked over at him. “Okay, so, tell me everything you can about these Barons and how you caught them the first time.”

Cayde turned in his seat as well and looked down at his hands for a moment before looking at me. “I’ll start with Pirrha. … He’s not just known as The Rifleman. He’s also known as The Phantom and … The Blind.”

“Blind?” I asked, frowning. 

Cayde nodded. “Cybernetic eye linked to his riffle. That’s how he sees.”

“He’s actually blind?” I asked, shocked.

“Yeah. And once he zeros in on a target -” He stopped and shook his head, leaning back in his seat pressing his fist to his lips as he looked off at nothing, trying not to cry again. I reached over, laying my hand on the one he had set on the armrest. “Cayde …” but he shook his head. “Just give me a minute?” he quickly uttered, his eyes pleading. 

I nodded and lifted his hand to my lips kissing the back of it, holding it.

He gave me a grateful look, then looked out the window, breathing carefully, but turned his hand and curled his fingers around mine before clearing his throat. “We caught him by distracting him while one of our snipers took out his eye. Without that, he’s pretty defenseless. He also uses holograms. Of himself. To try and flush you out. So, make sure the target you’re aiming for is really him. There’ll be subtle shifts in the holograms, giving them away.”

“Okay,” I nodded. 

He nodded back. “Next there’s Reksis Vahn. The Hangman,” he continued. “That big hole in the wall we walked through? That was made by him … putting me through it.”

I closed my eyes and took a moment, pushing my anger down. So that was how he’d been so badly injured. I knew that he knew I was beyond angry. That I wanted to return all the pain they’d caused him and more. But venting it right now was not an option. He was not in a good place and needed me to be levelheaded. 

When I opened my eyes again, I caressed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “And, besides the obvious, what should I know about him?”

“About twelve feet tall. Has a big flaming, spiked cauldron on chains he uses as a weapon. And … he’s a sadist.” He finally looked at me again. “He enjoys the pain he causes others he … feels deserve it.” He looked back out the window.

I frowned at the way he’d said that. I really wanted to tell him not to do this to himself but I was pretty sure if I tried, he’d close off. What I wasn’t sure about was what I could do. These last couple of days I’d seen him dealing with so much. Things I hadn’t seen him go through before. I didn’t know how he normally dealt with pain like this in the moment, only through memories. But, what I was quickly learning was just how sensitive he really was under all the posturing. He was a good actor, always seeming to let things roll off his back. No wonder he clung to me once he knew it was safe. “Do you want to stop?” I carefully asked.

He shook his head and cleared his throat, pulling himself together. “Um … One of the other ones is the Trickster,” he said, continuing. “She, uh … she likes explosives. She’ll disguise things you think are one thing, but aren’t and you could blow yourself up. So don’t trust _anything_ when it comes to her. Nothing she says or does.”

I nodded. “Did you blow up a couple times?” I asked, smiling a little, trying to cheer him up. He liked explosions, even when he was on the other end of them. 

It seemed to help because the teal plates around his cheeks very subtly turned up in a small smile and he chuckled a little, nodding. “She rigged one of the loot caches and had it set aside, out of the way, like it was sorta hidden. Never woulda thought it was rigged. So I opened it, thinking: ‘Hey! What’ve we got here?’ Then, BOOM!” He said, flailing back a little in his seat. “Woke up on the other side of the hanger - what was left of the hanger.”

“Oh no,” I chuckled, shaking my head. 

“Yup. Left my mark on that place,” he nodded. 

I smiled and he smiled back then just stared at me for a bit, looking me over. “What?” I asked. 

“Can-can you … get out of that armor?” He asked me and my eyebrows rose in surprise at the question. He tilted his head at me before his eyes widened as he realized how that had sounded. “Oh! No, I - not that that wouldn’t be nice - but that’s not what I meant. I - I just meant the heavy stuff.”

I smirked, nodding. “Right now?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he softly said. “Please?”

I got up and took off the chest piece, shoulder pads and gauntlets, and the leg armor, setting it all aside, now just there in my boots and the insulated underarmor. “Okay?” I asked, going back over to him.

He took my hand and gave me a tug toward him, pulling me sideways into his lap and wrapped his arms around me, pressing his face into my chest with a sigh. I eased his hood off and wrapped my arm around his shoulders, my other hand caressing the back of his head. “I’m sorry I’m … in such a lousy mood,” he murmured. “And sorry I’m breaking the no sorry’s rule. But you totally broke it first, so you can’t get me for this.”

I smirked at the sorry’s comment. “It’s okay,” I whispered. 

“I was fine yesterday,” he murmured, shrugging, shaking his head. “Sad. But fine. When it all suddenly came back to me back there …”. He shook his head. “You know I’ve lost friends. Good friends. But I ain’t never felt a hurt quite like this before.”

“I know,” I murmured back. “She was with you a long time. You were part of each other.” I kissed the top of his head. “But she’s still with you,” I assured him. “She always will be.”

He nodded, clearing his throat again. “Yeah,” he uttered. “You know how I said if I got hit with anything else, I might break?” He asked.

“Mm hmm,” I nodded, wincing, holding him a little closer.

“I think I’ve gone beyond that, Ais. I feel … heartsick and … numb … Both at the same time. I want to do what we need to do here. We gotta stop them. Doesn’t matter what happened to Sundance and me. It’s what they could do if they stay out here that’s the real threat. And I’m trynna focus but I just … hurt.”

“I know,” I quietly soothed. “I’m right here.”

He sighed, relaxing, and nodded. “I feel like I’m confusing the hell out of you. I feel like I got a handle on it one minute, then the next … I’m sorry if I scared you back there. In the prison. I just … felt so … broken.”

“You didn’t scare me. You worried me, but I wasn’t scared. I’d just never seen you like that before. I didn’t know what to do. I just knew I wanted to make the pain stop.”

“Don’t feel bad. I don’t know what to do, either. I just know you being here helps. And I-I know it’ll get easier and I’ll eventually feel better. Just …”. He shook his head. “Feels like someone’s …”

“Stabbing you in the chest, then slowly pulling the knife out and doing it again?” I offered.

He looked up at me and nodded and I knew he immediately understood how I knew that feeling. “Yeah,” he uttered.

I nodded back and kissed his forehead, softly petting the side of his face. He leaned back into me and took a steadying breath. “Okay, keep me focused, alright? I’ll let you totally take care of me later, but this is important for you to know.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“Right, so those three … then there’s … What was his name? Ugh. Light. I’m so bad with names. He’s known as the Mad Bomber. And he is, literally, mad,” Cayde told me. “I mean, completely cuckoo. And no one really knows if it’s how he’s always been or if something made him that way. He’s not like the Trickster. He’s not that smart. He likes letting you know he’s going to blow you up. He doesn’t have the patience to wait for you to stumble on a trap. He just wants to blow you up. He’ll hurl things at you. So stay quick on your feet.”

“Alright,” I nodded, idly rubbing his back, making note of him with the others. “Who’s next?” I asked, keeping him focused like he wanted me to. 

“Oh, this one is … a piece-a-work. He’s Fallen, right? But he’s obsessed with the Hive. I mean _really_ obsessed. Even wears a headpiece so he looks like our boy Oryx. And, he’s, like, a genius. Figured out how to do what you’ve done. Go to the Ascendant Realm and can control Hive.”

“Seriously?” I asked, stunned. A Fallen that controlled Hive?

He nodded. “Rumor has it, he fell into the Hellmouth on Luna and his time in there changed him. So just … don’t think of him as Fallen. Think of him as Hive. Fight him like you would Hive. And be prepared for him to do things like they can, too.”

“Shit,” I uttered.

Cayde nodded. “Yeah.”

“How did you all get these guys?”

“Patience. Watching ‘em. And then just looking for an opening. A weakness. Some don’t really have one you can pin down. You just have to wear ‘em down and not die - or die too much - in the process. Although, with Yaviks - she’s the one known as the Rider - I beat her in a race. REALLY pissed her off,” he chuckled.

“She didn’t know who she was going up against, did she?” I grinned. Aside form Marcus Ren, Cayde was likely the most skilled and best Sparrow Rider … well … ever. I felt him straighten a little with pride in my arms and my smile broadened. “Well, I’m no where near as good as you, but my aim’s not bad. I might be able to knock her off her pike.”

Cayde nodded. “Or …” he lifted his head. “as long as they don’t know who I am, I could pilot the sparrow while you shoot.”

I could actually feel my face lighting up. “You’d take me riding with you?” I asked, trying not to sound so excited - but I was.

“Yeah I - wait. You’re-you’re practically glowing right now,” he said. “Have you been wanting to go riding with me?”

“Oh, Traveler, yes!” I nodded, then tried to reel myself back in. 

Cayde chuckled. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have taken you out.”

“Both of us were always busy or too exhausted at the end of the day. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to or anything.”

“What are you, nuts?!” He asked, blinking at me. “Ais, I’d have LOVED to have gone for a ride with you.”

I smiled and kissed him. “It’s a date, then,” I nodded and I saw the light in his eyes coming back. Even if it was temporary in wake of his grief, it was something that made him feel good and special, something for him to look forward to, so I was happy it had cheered him up. He hugged me and kissed my cheek, then sat up even straighter. 

“Okay,” he nodded. “So, how many is that now? Five?”

“Six,” I told him.

“Right. So that leaves …” He looks down at his hand and counted on his fingers, uttering names. “Oh! Machinist. She’s a master thief and hoarder of Traveler knows how much stuff she’s stolen over the years. Also, like, wicked smart. But, crazy. Like the rest of ‘em. She’s also the Fanatic’s right hand and most loyal. She’ll die for him. So she’s not gonna be pushed back so easily. She’s also big. Like Vahn. And she basically has an arsenal on her back.”

“So there really would be no way to take these guys on all at once,” I said.

“Oh, hell no,” Cayde shook his head. “No matter how skilled. You’d need a lot of numbers to take them all on at once. You’d need an army. Took six of us to go after most of them just one on one.”

“And this Fanatic?” I asked. “He’s the leader, right?”

“Well, prince peacock calls the shots, but, yeah. Fikrul. He was once an Archon priest. Then he became an actual fanatic and deemed a threat, so he was docked and left to die. Guess Uldren saved him. Now he calls Uldren ‘father’. Does whatever he asks. He was the first of the Scorned. Whatever it was Uldren did to save him is what changed him and paved the way for the others. And there were a lot more than just the eight we’re going after. A lot of ‘em we killed. These guys are just the ones that remain.”

“What happened that made them what they are?” I shook my head. “I don’t mean the physical transformation. I mean, why have they deviated so far from Fallen traditions?”

“They all share a common belief. They want to evolve through extinction. To get away from worshiping machines and relying on Servitors for ether. Apparently they all felt like they were slaves or neglected in some way.”

“Hence the name ‘Scorn’.”

Cayde’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, yeah.”

I snorted. “You didn’t consider the name, did you?”

“Nope.”

I laughed and he did, too. “Thanks, Ais. I’m feeling better.”

“Good,” I nodded, kissing him softly.

He looked up at me as the kiss ended and reached up, stroking my hair then coaxed me back down for another kiss, this one longer and warmer. “You know, um,” he looked up at me again. “There’s still a little while before we’ll hear from Petra … I was wondering if maybe … you’d like to go for a ride on my sparrow?” He asked, purring a little.

I arched an eyebrow. “You want to go down there and ride around? Now?”

“I wasn’t talking about _that_ sparrow,” Cayde hinted.

My eyes slowly widened at the boldness of his request. 

He nuzzled me. “I just really want to feel good right now. And nothing makes me feel better than you.”

I looked at him carefully, understanding that need to be close. To feel something that took you away from pain and hurt. I eased off his lap and held my hand out to him. “Come on,” I murmured. He took it and let me lead him to the back where the ship had a small bunk for prolonged trips form Earth.

Bringing him beside the bed, I stood in front of him and started unclipping his armor, starting with his cloak, carefully laying it aside. He watched me, his eyes warm and soft. I pressed a loving kiss to his lips when I moved back in front of him and unhooked the strap to the holster for his knife. His eyes kept following what I was doing, as if he wanted to memorized everything and I reached up, caressing his cheek. “You okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he murmured. 

“If there’s ever a moment you’re not, I don’t care what’s happening, you tell me, alright?”

He nodded. “I will.”

I kissed him again, then slowly slid the zipper down to the outer chest armor and eased it open, sliding my hands inside over his chest.

He closed his eyes and sighed and I felt some of the tension ease, his body relaxing under my touch. I pressed soft kisses down along the side of this throat, making him moan softly and worked my way around behind him, sliding the vest off. “You know,” I said to him, stepped back in front of him, slipping my arms around his waist and pulling him against me. “I can’t decide what I like more. Getting you in your armor, or out of it.” I grinned.

He softly chuckled. “I say out. Definitely out.” He nodded. 

I kissed him again. “You think so? You do look very sexy in that armor.”

“Yeah, but didn’t you say you loved my ass? It’s kind of hidden by the cloak,” he pointed out, glancing behind himself.

“This ass?” I asked, grabbing it, giving it a good squeeze.

He gasped, eyes widening, then chuckled. I loved hearing his laugh. Loved that this was brightening his mood. Sundance would want him happy. Not blaming himself. “Y-yes. Yes, that ass.” He wiggled a little. 

“You make a good point,” I nodded, my hands rubbing slow, massaging circles over said ass. He moaned and I think, if he had actual lips and teeth, he’d be biting his bottom lip right now. His forehead dropped to my shoulder as his arms slipped around my waist, giving me a squeeze, before his head turned and he placed soft, sweet little kisses up along my throat and my cheek. I smiled at him, tilting my head into his and kissed him back. “I love you, you know? So much,” I told him. “My beautiful Light,” I whispered, my hands moving to caress his cheeks then down the sides of his neck to his chest.

He kissed my lips and rested his forehead against mine. “I love you, too. More than I’ll ever find the words to say,” he whispered. “But I’m gonna spend the rest of this life showing you.” He kissed me again, this time deepening it, moaning into my mouth as he pushed me back into the wall, his whole body pressed into mine, hands planted on either side of my head. I could feel the warmth radiating off of him and felt the passion in the way he moved and kissed me. Whatever sadness and grief had been plaguing him, it was now cast aside to be dealt with later. Right now, all he seemed to want was this. To feel good again. And I was more than happy to oblige. 

We eventually found ourselves completely naked and on the bed together, lips and hands exploring in the tenderest of ways. I still couldn’t get over how soft his skin felt. How delicate he seemed but, at the same time, how strong. I sat up on my elbow next to him, sliding my hand down along his side and over his hip, just admiring him. I noticed he was doing the same, watching the subtle ripples of light beneath my skin, his fingertips following them before he looked up into my eyes. “How did you know your name?” He quietly asked. 

I shook my head. “I didn’t. Not at first. Not until Ghost said it and it sounded familiar to me,” I told him. 

“So … he knew your name?”

I nodded. “I don’t know how or why. He said he didn’t know how he knew it, either. Just that my name was Aislin. Aislin Avalbane.”

“Avalbane?” Cayde asked, blinking at me. “You never told me you had a last name. I’ve only ever known you as Aislin.”

“I only ever really go by Aislin. Sort of in the way most people just call you Cayde and not Cayde-6. I never use it. But I looked up the meanings of the names once, early on. Together they mean: vision of the white orchard.”

Cayde frowned. “Do you think it has a greater meaning?”

I shrugged. “No idea.”

“Well … it’s pretty, whether it does or not,” he said. “And you’re definitely a vision.”

I smiled and lifted his fingers to my lips, kissing them. “Thank you,” I murmured. He caressed my cheek, then coaxed me closer for a kiss and I leaned in, gradually easing him onto his back as our lips met, straddling his hips and laying on top of him.

He sighed and moaned as my weight pressed down on him, pushing his hips up a little. I grinned, having an idea. 

“What?” He whispered, noticing it. 

I kissed his lips one more time. “You know the phrase ‘turnabout is fair play’?” I purred.

“Yeeeeah …” he said, frowning with curiosity.

My grin widened and I shimmied down his body. 

He lifted his head. “What are yo - Oh.” He watched as I settled between his legs and gently nuzzled him, then gave his length a long, slow lick. “Oh … oh stars,” he moaned, flopping back down. 

I softly chuckled and got him to drape his legs up over my shoulders while my hands massaged his hips, my lips and tongue taking their time caressing and teasing him. As they did, I couldn’t help but wonder about the person or group of scientists and doctors who’d considered all of this and then set about making it possible. 

How was it even possible, really? His body was artificial. Manufactured. Silicone, metal, wires and pumps. Plastics and mesh. And yet, it had been brought to life. It didn’t seem like it any of this could actually happen, even in someone’s wildest dreams. That, in essence, a machine body, a robot, could be so human - even with a human consciousness inside it. But here he was. And he was warm and writhing beneath me in such a beautiful way. 

That’s when I felt something wet against my lips that pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked down, noticing he was … leaking? Wait. He could have an actual physical reaction, not just the sensation of one? Well, this was interesting! I slowly ran my tongue up his length again, hearing him hiss with delight, squirming. 

“Ais …” he breathed. 

I grinned. “Like that?” I asked, noticing he was leaking even more. This was definitely going to be delightful payback for all the teasing he did to me last night!

“Oh, yes,” he nodded, panting a little. 

I did it again, this time gently taking him in my hand, stroking him slowly as my tongue swirled around the sensitive head. I felt his legs tense around me, trembling as he fisted the sheets beneath us, his breath hissing past his lips. I suddenly realized I absolutely LOVED seeing him like this - so prone and vulnerable. It had definitely been worth the wait. 

On those thoughts, I took him into my mouth and slowly bobbed my head, feeling him grab at my hands, where they were on his hips. I let go, letting him hold them, feeling his hands tremble and squeeze mine each time I took him deeper and deeper, my thumbs caressing the backs of his fingers until, after a good long while of teasing him, I felt him give my hands a needful tug.

I glanced up to see brilliant aqua-blue eyes looking at me over a quickly rising and falling chest. I eased back, licking my lips, and noticed the look was pleading and I nodded. He let my hands go and moved his legs off my shoulders, and I sat up crawling up closer to him, keeping my eyes fixed on his, even as I straddled this lap again and carefully guided him inside me, my body slowly sinking down onto him. He gasped and reached out for me and I took his hands in mine, lacing our fingers together as I laid down on top of him, kissing him. I pinned his hands down on either side of his head, holding them there, then sat up a little and started to rock my hips, my motions slow and deliberate. He gasped again and pushed up into me, gradually finding my rhythm, his fingers squeezing around mine, tight.

I softly growled at how good he felt and leaned back in, nibbling up the side of his neck, making him moan my name. “You feel so good, you know that?” I breathed in his ear before licking the outer edge of it, making him gasp. “I could ride you all day, cowboy.” He practically mewled at that, bucking up into me harder. I grinned and pushed back, panting, feeling a rising warmth between us as I arched back a little, grinding into him. 

“Ais …” There was a slight tremble and panic in his voice and my eyes immediately shot open as I stilled at the tone, only to see both of us had very soft, very faint waves of flames covering our bodies. He looked up at me, eyes wide. I noticed there was no pain. We weren’t burning. The flames were just … there and felt warm. Soothing, even. It was like the Light within us was making our Solar energy seep out and mingle with each others. “Are you okay?” I asked him.

He gave a bit of a nod. “You?”

I nodded.

“Wh-what’s going on?” He asked, completely bewildered.

I shook my head as I looked us both over. “I don’t know.”

He looked down and then back up at me, looking unsure, so I softly kissed his lips and let curiosity take over. “Let’s find out,” I whispered.

“Y-you sure?” He uttered.

“What’s the worse that could happen?” 

He looked to the side, contemplating that, then shrugged and kissed me back and I couldn’t help but smile against his lips at his casual approach to danger.

As we found our rhythm again, I felt a deep pulling sensation in my chest and gasped as Cayde grunted. “Y-you feel that?” He panted. I nodded and felt his fingers squeeze around mine tighter as his hips started moving faster. I swore I could feel him everywhere. All around me and through me. I felt like every breath I took was also his. Every excited flutter in my stomach was one I was creating in him. And I could feel his heart - actually felt it - beating right along with mine, only it was more of a swishing sensation, just like the sound it made. It was fast and filled my chest with this excited tingling sensation that worked it’s way down through my body, coiling and tightening my core, slowly building, both of us trembling, right on the edge, until I arched and gasped, throwing my head back as I suddenly felt a rush unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Cayde cried out beneath me just as it happened, his hips pushing up and I realized I’d actually felt what he had felt as his climax hit him and wondered if he’d felt mine the same way. The flames surrounding us lit up the entire space, twining together, then burst, soft, warm embers floating down onto us and disappearing like snowflakes on warm skin.

“What was that?!” Ghost sputtered, suddenly appearing. “Whoa! Okay, not looking!” He quickly said and I looked over to see him floating nearby, turned around. I looked down at Cayde to see him panting, looking up at me with wide eyes. 

“Are you okay?” I asked him, carefully letting his hands go to hold his cheeks, caressing them softly. 

He gave a little nod. “I - y-yeah. You?” I nodded and he looked around as I did, noticing nothing was burned. Not even the tiniest hint we’d been in flames only moments ago.

“Ghost? You don’t know what that was, do ya, buddy?” Cayde asked him.

“No,” Ghost said, keeping his back to us. “I just felt an incredible surge of the Light and didn’t know what happened. Only times I’ve felt that is when you each got your Light back.”

I pondered that for a moment then looked at Cayde. “Did you … feel me a little while ago? Like I was part of you?”

“You were everywhere,” Cayde nodded. “I felt a pounding in my chest. I felt you breathing. I felt you - er …”. 

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I felt you, too,” I told him.

He pulled me down and hugged me as we both took our time catching our breaths and relaxing.

“What do you think happened?” He quietly asked after a little while. 

I gave a little shake of my head from his shoulder. “I don’t know. But … if I felt you and you felt me … and that was the Light …”

“It sounds like your Light merged,” Ghost said.

“What do you mean? Do you know something?” I asked him.

“No. Just that, from what you’re describing, it sounds like what happened to me earlier. On Io. I can sense both of you now where, before Cayde got his Light back, I could only sense you. I wonder if, perhaps, you, too, needed to join your Light. Since, in a way, you’re both one now, sharing a single Ghost.”

I looked at Cayde as he looked up at me and rubbed my back. “Well … I’ve definitely had stranger things happen,” he offered.

“Name one,” I challenged.

“Er … So, Ghost,” he said, looking over at him, and I couldn’t stop the smile that came to my lips. “You really think we … joined our Light?”

“I think it’s more likely than not,” he bobbed. “But, if you want another opinion, the best person I can think to ask would be Ikora.”

“Well, that will be an awkward conversation,” Cayde muttered.

“As opposed to this one?” Ghost asked, back still to us.

I couldn’t help it, I started laughing into Cayde's shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Anyone need a fan? *Tosses out fans* . More to come soon!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a little fun with this one and got it out sooner than I thought I would! Enjoy!

When Petra finally contacted us with coordinates to meet with Spider, our guess had been right. He was going to make me work overtime and likely harder than before to reestablish trust before he offered up any information on the Barons whereabouts. I spent hours with his Fallen henchmen clearing the Shore of Scorn and they just seemed to keep coming in waves. The more I took out the more they seemed to throw at me and some were ones even Cayde said he hadn’t encountered before. I ended up dying a few times thanks to what were were calling Screebs - grotesquely deformed Dregs with huge blue puss-filled boils of exploding matter on their backs, along with large, headless abominations that seemed to have once been Archons, blasting me with pulses of corrupted arc energy. Each time I died, I noticed something different as I woke that hadn’t happened before. I felt Cayde. I felt his concern. His worry. I felt mild panic had been there until Ghost brought me back. Only after did the sensations ebb some.

“Cayde? Are you alright?” I asked over the secured comm link.

“Yeah, fine, why?” He asked.

“I just … I got this strange feeling like … like you were … more than a little worried there,” I told him.

“Well, yeah. Of course. I always worry when you’re out there. But I’m fine,” he assured me. “Wait. Can you … feel what I’m feeling?”

“Sort of,” I said. “Not in a strong way. Just … mildly.”

“ … Huh,” he uttered. “Must be that thing with the Light.”

“That’s what I figured,” I told him. I paused to take out a few more Scorn, working my way across the Shore. “Can you feel what I’m feeling?”

“Ummm … Annoyance? Mild anger? … No. It’s, uuuh … wanting to rip Reksis Vahn’s balls off and shove ‘em down his throat? Whoa, Ais. That seems a bit excessive, even for you. Plus … I don’t think they have balls. Not … like what - you know what, I’m gonna deviate from that, cause that’s an image I don’t need.”

I snorted. “You just totally made all that up!” I laughed over the comm. He did have the anger and annoyance right, though. 

“Made ya laugh, though, didn’t it?” He asked, sounding amused. 

I smiled. “Yes, it did,” I nodded. Almost since the very beginning, Cayde had been chatting away in my ear when I was running missions. It wasn’t until Oryx that he really started doing it more often than not, but it had always been nice when he did. Most of the time he just seemed to get when he needed to be serious and when he needed to crack a joke. Ikora had said he had the worst timing. But it was deliberate worst timing. During the Red War, it had been especially amusing when he’d trade friendly jabs with Zavala. I would have really missed that. Almost as much as missing him just being there. Being able to see his face every day. Chatting with him for hours. Watching old movies and goofing off. Holding him. The smell of his polish and soap …

“Hey,” Cayde softly whispered, pulling me out of my thoughts. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I just, um … I got to thinking how much I would have really missed hearing your voice,” I murmured. “And your jokes.”

“Awww, I woulda missed you, too, babe,” he affectionately murmured. “Especially your hugs.” 

I felt a warm, happy tingle at the way he’d said that, blinking back a couple tears and held onto it until I’d finished up on the Shore and proven myself to Spider, gaining the information on where the Barons were hiding. Of course, in the process of getting to the hideout, Spider requested I also pick up some supplies of his that had been scattered about the Shore in caches. As I found them, the Fallen working for him saw the caches got to him while I kept more Scorn at bay with the help of some Servitors. 

When a loud cry and almost ground-shaking stomp signaled the appearance of the Machinist, I was actually stunned by her size. I had seen all the Barons, but only briefly, back at the prison and they had had light behind them, leaving more of a silhouette of all of them grouped together than anything really recognizable. Also, Cayde had been lying on the floor, injured, so my mind hadn’t really registered them properly in that moment. But, now that I could see her … “She’s a lot bigger than I’d expected,” I told Cayde over the comm. 

“Yeah, she’s a big girl,” Cayde said. “Watch out fo-” Just as he was saying that, jets of what I could only describe as lava came shooting at me from some kind of gun she had. I made a quick dash out of the way to avoid it. “Yeah, that,” Cayde finished. “Watch out for that!” 

The jets of lava were soon followed by her crouching down and setting off the massive hump of an arsenal she had on her back, sending missiles my way. “Oh, sh-” I jumped off the bridge and scrambled down behind an out of commission Fallen Walker Tank, the build and heft of it strong enough to take the damage. Everything around me started shaking and was on fire and more Scorn were coming at me from behind. “These things would give cockroaches a run for their money,” I grumbled, shooting as many as I could as they came at me. Problem was, I was pinned down with Scorn taking advantage of balconies on nearby buildings, firing void blades at me while the Machinist kept hurling lava and missiles. I put up my shield but the shock of the missiles was taking it out faster than I could bring it back up. “You all managed to get her before, right?” I asked Cayde. “How did you do it?”

“Couple of us had rocket launchers and a helluva lotta ammo,” Cayde told me. “Would have killed for a tank, though,” he added.

“That would be nice right about now, yeah,” I said, managing to peek around the leg of the Walker and get a couple hits with my grenade launcher, that only really seemed to stagger her but not do much damage. 

“Well, I can’t do a tank, but how ‘bout an armed ship?” Cayde offered.

I frowned. “An armed sh-?” The sudden whir of engines behind me made me quickly turn around just in time to see our ship rise right up behind me just off the edge of the Shore. Scorn Dregs cried out and started shooting at the ship but Cayde opened fire, the turrets on the bottom of the ship on full auto, laying into the Machinist and the front of the hideout, killing anything not strong enough to withstand the spray of bullets. I peeked around the tank to see her stumble back, screaming in pain and frustration. Scorn Dregs unfortunate enough to be in Cayde’s line of fire all fell dead where they’d been standing. She let out a pain-laced hiss of fury then disappeared in a large cloud of dark ether, the other Scorn Dregs, who were lucky enough to survive the spray of bullets, also disappearing.

I stepped out from around the Walker and saw nothing but a ton of dead Scorn and the face of Spider’s hideout a bit covered in smoking bullet holes but, otherwise, fine. 

“Wow …” Ghost uttered, peeking out from inside my pack. “Cayde certainly knows how to make an entrance,” he added. 

I slowly nodded, jaw a bit slack, and looked back at the ship, where Cayde, helmet on to hide his face, just gave a cute little wave through the window from the pilots chair. I was completely stunned. And … I’ll admit, a bit turned on. “So, um … you gonna transmat me on board or what?” I asked him, smirking.

Within seconds I found myself back inside the ship and pulled my helmet off just as he was getting out of the seat, taking his off as well. “Did you see that?!” He excitedly asked, tossing his helmet into the passenger seat. I grinned, going up to him. “How cool was tha - whoa!” He yelped as I pushed him up against the hull and kissed him, perhaps a bit more forcefully than even I’d expected to do! 

“That,” I said, kissing him again, “was the hottest,” another kiss, “thing you have ever,” one more kiss, “done.”

He blinked at me, eyes wide in stunned silence at first, then he chuckled and put his arms around me. “So, you, uh, you like my big guns, huh?” He asked. 

“Oh, they totally do it for me,” I nodded and grinned again, kissing him some more.

“Mmmm,” he nodded. “Spider’s probably-” he paused to return the kisses, “gonna be super mad …” He added a few little kisses down the side of my neck, “I put holes in his place.” 

“Yeah, well …” I draped my arms over his shoulders and shrugged. “Collateral damage.”

“Couldn’t be helped,” Cayde murmured, shaking his head, not the least bit sorry, kissing me again. 

“Not at all. He’ll just have to understand,” I added, caressing the back of his head through the hood, nodding, voice a bit breathy.

“Mmm. My thinking exactly,” he said, then paused in kissing me and looked at me. “You get to break it to him.”

I looked at him in mock betrayal and he laughed and nearly tackled me onto the bunk, Ghost’s loud sigh and assumed eye roll following.

 

“Whoever the idiot is piloting your ship left the face of my home in tatters!” Spider seethed at me as both myself and Petra stood before him, his two Fallen lackeys watching us carefully, almost threateningly, mirroring Spider’s displeasure. 

“What is it you said to me earlier?” I asked, frowning, deliberately looking like I was trying really hard to think, even tapping my chin. “Oh, yeah,” I nodded, holding up my finger. “Cost of doing business.” Hey, I could play the game, too!

Spider growled and leaned in low to stare me down. “You …” he hissed, his voice barely a whisper and I just stared him down right back, unflinching, before he paused then sat back up and laughed, his two upper arms flailing as his two lower ones held his rather plump belly as it shook. “Oh … Oh, my friend, you never cease to amuse!” 

I arched a curious eyebrow at Petra, who seemed just as stunned by the reaction. 

He gurgled as he got himself under control. “I see you learn quickly,” he then said to me, taking out a dead Ghost shell to toy with. “And that you definitely mean business. It seems your actions have also done as you’d hoped and left them scattered. Divide and conquer!” He announced, raising a triumphant fist. 

“So, where would they scatter to?” I asked.

Spider pulled an old rolled up tattered piece of canvas-style cloth from down beside himself and the chair he was in, and tossed it to me. I caught it and unrolled it, seeing it was a Fallen map of the Shore with various Eliksni markings and written language as well as marked points scattered about the whole of the joined grouping of asteroids. “Each marking represents a Barons lair and the territory they’ve claimed,” he told me. 

“My Eliksni’s a bit rusty,” I told him just as Petra looked over my shoulder. “Mine isn’t,” she told me with a nod and started pointing out who was who as I made the mental notes.

Once the map was squared away, Spider leaned back over in his seat, looking down at me. “Now, a piece of advice, eh? Know your enemy before you … deal with them.” He then started telling me about each of the Barons and then Uldren, much of the same information Cayde had given me. I didn’t say anything, though. I figured it would be better to just let him talk. Any extra information would be helpful. 

When the meeting concluded I walked out with Petra who stopped me just before we stepped back out onto the Shore. “You take down the Barons. Thin the heard. As for Uldren … Did you see that Awoken spire when you landed here?”

I nodded. 

“Were you told anything about it?” She asked.

“Only that they weren’t Awoken so, basically, none of their business,” I said.

She fondly chuckled and nodded. “It’s called the Watchtower. … I shouldn’t be telling you this but … circumstances being what they are … my people’s greatest secrets lie beyond that spire. There’s no other reason Uldren would come to the Tangled Shore. Sooner or later, he _will_ go to the Watchtower and we must stop him _before_ that happens.”

“Why? What’s he after?” I asked her.

“Like I said, that’s not my secret to tell,” she told me.”

I sighed. I knew I wouldn’t get any more out of her. Not right now, anyway, so I nodded. “Right. So, we’ll take care of the Barons, you’re going after Uldren.”

She nodded. “Good hunting.”

 

“So, how’s your Eliksni?” I asked Cayde when I got back to the ship. 

“Eh,” he gave a so-so motion with his hand. “Why, what’ve ya got?” He stood up out of the seat and came over to me as I opened up the map on a fold-out table, Ghost appearing over my shoulder. “Petra showed me what they are but if you’re able to read it, you can help direct me from here as we search the Shore. If anyone’s good with maps, it’s you.”

He gave my hip an affectionate bump with his as he turned the map around so he had a familiar starting point on it, taking a few moments to get his bearings. “Ah, I see. Right. So this,” he said, running his finger over the edge of a land mass, then pointed his thumb over his shoulder out the side of the ship behind us, “is out there …Then that makes that spot there Spider’s hideout …” he said, pointing near the center of the map. “So … this is Jetsam of Saturn, then,” he said, frowning at the scribbled Eliksni, like he was thinking he was reading it correctly. “Which - if I remember right - that’s where the Hive are. I think this square-rectangle thingy drawn on here is supposed to be the ship that crashed. So, if that’s that, then that makes this over here Thieves Landing,” he said, finger pointing to the right of where Spider’s hideout was. “Okay, yeah, yeah. I got it.” 

“Sure?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded. “So these marks here … are the Barons hideouts. Ah. Okay. That either says ‘Rifleman’ or a … a very rude name in Eliksni.” He shrugged. “Same thing.” 

I snorted, smirking and he looked at me. “And P.V. is on princy-poo’s trail, right?”

I nodded. 

“Okay. So we’ve got two ways of goin’ about this. Either we hit them now, while they’re still shook up from a direct attack, or we wait. The only reason I’m even mentioning wait is ‘cause, you know me, Exo, I can keep goin’. But I know you’ve been goin’ at it all day and are tired. And, well, maybe twice in the sack with me today expended a little - or a lot - of your energy,” he said, sounding a bit sheepish.

I chuckled. Yes, it had, but it had been SO worth it. He was incredible, both times. The second time didn’t cause any reaction with the Light, though. It seemed that that had been a one time deal sealing our bond. We were definitely going to have to ask Ikora if she knew anything because both Cayde and I had never heard of anything like it.

“But, if we wait,” he said, continuing, “they have a chance to fortify their positions.”

“We go at them,” I told him. “We can’t wait,” I shook my head. “Petra said Uldren is here for that watchtower. She said her peoples greatest secrets lie beyond that place. So, whatever he’s after, it’s there.”

Cayde’s eyebrows rose. “Greatest secrets, eh?”

I could actually feel the curiosity piquing in him and nodded. “I know, you’re going nuts not knowing what it is. But she wouldn’t say more.”

“No surprise,” he said. “Petra’s always been that way. Stubborn, standoffish, and tight-lipped. Awoken are all the saaa - er … I know something that’ll help with the energy,” he quickly deviated and I had to cover my mouth to hide the amused smirk as he went to a supply chest Holliday had put on board and pulled out a small box that had some small edible cubes inside. They were concentrated and packed with vitamins, minerals, and other ‘super-foods’ that would boost my energy and keep me going. 

“Oh, I forgot all about those,” I confessed. “I took these once, back real early on when I was running the Cosmodrome. They tasted absolutely horrid, so I never took them again.”

“Yeah, they taste like something out the back end of a shorthorn, but they do the trick,” he said, handing me one. 

“What’s a shorthorn?” I asked him.

“Cow,” Cayde told me. “Quite a few of them out in the Wilds up in the colder climates. 

“Ah,” I nodded and pointed to another chest behind him. “There’s a bottle of bourbon in there and a glass. I’m not taking these without something to kill the taste.”

He chuckled and got the bourbon out and poured some for me. I ate the cube doing all I could to swallow it and he laughed at the faces I was making the whole time before downing the whole glass in one shot, the burn doing the trick and killing the taste. “Oh, that was awful,” I said, making another face. Yuck.

He kept chuckling, shaking his head, even as he poured another glass. “Oh, I don’t need anymore of that,” I told him.

“Oh, this isn’t for you, this is for me,” he said then downed the shot and set the glass on the table. “Now, you’re not arguing with me. I’m going with you.”

“You’re armor, Cayde. They’ll know it’s you,” I reminded him.

He nodded. “Only if they see me. And they won’t until it’s too late. So I’m going with you.” His tone told me there would be no arguing. His mind was made up. He took my hands. “We do it my way. We go in quiet, take 'em by surprise. If it goes to plan, they’ll only think it’s you in there after ‘em. So you’re the distraction. While they’re focused on you, they won’t see me.”

“And you’ll take them out,” I said.

He nodded.

I took a breath and slowly let it out and nodded. “Okay.”

“I can feel that you’re … hesitant," he said. "And I get it, Ais. If things were reversed, I’d be the same way about you. But I _need_ to do this, okay?”

“Alright,” I said more confidently and gave him a hug. “Just ... don’t do anything stupid and make me kick your gorgeous ass later, okay?”

He chuckled and hugged me back, nodding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm on chapter 15! I never expected the story to go this long! And there's still more to come! :)

We decided to start with the least powerful Barons and work our way up. According to Cayde, that meant our best bet was to start with the Rider. Of all of them, while she was a threat, certainly, she didn’t carry the arsenal or fighting skills the others did. She did have a Pike gang, though. We’d have to take them out to get to Yaviks. But Cayde said they were like the Pike gangs that roamed the EDZ, which were pretty easy to eliminate.

It was also our first mission together sharing Ghost and I made it very clear to Cayde, since we were splitting up for this, Ghost was going with him. Cayde was highly skilled and had definitely been at this a lot longer than me. I knew he could take care of himself. But I also knew I wouldn’t be able to focus unless Ghost was there to help him if he needed it. Just for now, anyway. 

“You’re always going to be my protector aren’t you?” He asked me, sounding amused but understanding as he finished inventory on our weapons and ammo. 

I looked over at him then stepped up to him and settled my hand over his heart, remembering how it had looked just after Uldren had shot him. “Cayde …” I sighed and he laid his hand on top of mine, lightly caressing it before giving it a squeeze. I looked at him - into his eyes - and he frowned, tilting his head. “You’re … terrified,” he uttered, eyes widening a bit in realization. “I-I can feel it,” he said, his voice soft and gentle, but also holding surprise. “I’ve … never known you to be afraid before,” he said, shaking his head, stepping a little closer to me.

Reluctantly, I nodded. Although, it was true he hadn’t known me to be, I had been afraid before. Many times. But they were never times I’d shared with anyone. Even Cayde. Only Ghost ever knew. But now, Cayde could feel it, so there was no point in hiding it. “I’m sure, after a while, it’ll will fade some. But, right now …” I shook my head. “I just need to know you’re safe.”

He put his arms around me and held me close. “Okay,” he nodded, rubbing my back.

My arms slid under his and I returned the hug, feeling the slightly stunned sensation within him mixed with worry and a hint of sadness as well as being touched.

“Are you gonna be able to do this and stay focused?” He asked. It was a legitimate question. I needed to be if I was going to do this. Not being focused could lead to us both getting hurt. Though I knew he wouldn’t fault me if I said ‘no’ right now. “As long as I know you’re safe - know Ghost is with you - I’ll be fine,” I assured him. And it was the truth. I could stay focused on what we needed to do and not worry about him in a distracting way if our Little Light was by his side.

“If you ever have moment of doubt-” he started but I cut him off. 

“You’ll know if I do,” I gently reminded.

“Yeah, I guess I will,” he said, lightly chuckling. “This is gonna take gettin’ used to.”

I nodded. “But … after the last year and how close we’ve gotten, it doesn’t really feel all that different, does it? At least, it doesn’t to me.”

He shook his head. “No. No, most of the time you just seemed to know what I was feeling. What I needed. You were just … tuned into me in ways even I wasn’t aware of at times. Me … I ain’t as good at it as you.”

I smiled, rubbing his back. “You could just ask me, you know that right? Even before now.”

“Oh, I know,” he nodded. “But … I-I felt like I was letting you down, not understanding you as easily as you did me.”

I leaned back. “Letting me down?” I asked, frowning. 

He nodded. “Yeah. I know you’re gonna tell me it’s not true but there are times I really don’t feel good enough for you, Ais.”

I reached up and cupped his cheeks. “There are times I don’t feel good enough for you, either, Cayde,” I confessed.

His eyebrows rose. “What?” He asked, sounding stunned. “How could you think that?”

I chuckled. “See? Now you know how I feel when you say it to me.” I gave him a soft kiss. “Put yourself in my shoes. I’m in love with a man who’s been around as a Guardian for a couple centuries and is a skilled Hunter and Vanguard. You’ve been all over the world and the Solar System, gone up against tons of bad guys, and seen and done some amazing things. You have this whole life you’ve led and experienced, both good times and bad, and here I come along, only been around five years, barely the blink of an eye compared to you … Why would I ever think you’d be interested in me, let alone let me protect you if you needed it?”

“Oh, believe me, Ais, whether I can protect myself or not, knowing you have my back the way you do is a comfort I never thought I’d ever have. So don’t ever think I don’t appreciate it and welcome it. And, yeah, you may have only been here for five years this life, but I’ve had this feeling about you … something tells me your soul’s a lot older than that. There’s a … an old warmth and wisdom about you I only ever known in one other person and that’s Ikora.” I smiled at him and he caressed my cheek. “Besides that, just look at all you’ve done in that time,” he pointed out. “What you’ve accomplished. The things you’ve taken on and beaten. Yeah, I may have been around a lot longer and been places you haven’t, but I ain’t never done half the things you have. Especially not gone up against gods and gone into the Ascendent Realm, or went on a one lady shootin’ spree right up against the sun to save the world against Gary - Ghaul … whatever - and got us all our Light back. And, speakin’ of, you’ve done it twice, in my case. You’re one of a kind, Ais. You’re someone who doesn’t give up. Someone who’ll go up against impossible odds to save the people you care about. Who refuses to give in even at the worst of times, just like with me the other day. Others might have believed I really was dead and that would have been it for me. But you didn’t. You held onto me like you promised and I’m standin’ here with you because of that. I’m … I’m honored you chose me to love. Despite knowing all my faults - and I got a lot of ‘em - you love me. I’ll never have the words to express what that really means to me.”

I warmly smiled at him, pulling him close, and tenderly caressed the back of his head, pressing a kiss to his temple through his hood. “Nothing and no one else matters more to me than you,” I whispered. “Don’t you ever forget that. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” 

He pressed his face into the crook of my neck and nodded. “As long as you remember I feel the same way about you,” he murmured.

I nodded and lovingly soothed him, pressing my cheek to his, tenderly nuzzling him and breathing in the lingering scent of the mint and eucalyptus polish still on him. He leaned his head back just enough to look at me before kissing my lips and resting his forehead against mine. I heard and felt him breathe me in as well and I could sense that familiar warm tingle deep inside him. I was feeling the same way. Something deeper and more passionate stirring; something that demanded greater time and long, slow movements and many sweet kisses. And we both knew now wasn’t the time, even though we both wanted it. But as he opened his eyes and looked at me again, there was a silent promise that passed between us. He took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together and gave the tiniest nod, silently saying that when this was all over the time that followed was ours. That we’d let the world fall away and just be together without any worries or cares.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you,” he whispered back, then kissed me one last time before we set out to take on the Barons and, eventually, Uldren. 

 

We used the map to find a garage that belonged to Yaviks and her gang in Thieves Landing, figuring if there was any way we were going to get their attention and lure them out, it’d be to ride around on a stolen Pike in their territory. While Cayde waited near the garage, Ghost came with me to help me calibrate the Pikes mods so I could use it properly. The whole time, all I could hear was Cayde laughing on the other end of the comm as he watched me darting around the Shore trails on an unruly Pike getting jerked and bounced as Ghost tried to figure it out. I almost fell off backwards, twice, when the initial boost activated and shot me around the area, then we banged into a couple structures, which also knocked me around, Ghost apologizing profusely as he worked as quickly as possible, and then I nearly went off one of the bridges! By the time it was set and I returned to the garage I must have looked haggard! Cayde was nearly doubled-over, laughing at me. “I told you I’m not that great at riding,” I said him.

“Oh, you’re fantastic at riding, just not Sparrows or Pikes,” Cayde quipped.

I flipped up the shield on my helmet and arched an eyebrow at him, as if to say ‘Oh, really?’, only to get a wink from him in return. I chuckled and shook my head revving the Pikes engine as Ghost went over to Cayde. “Be safe out there, beautiful,” he told me. “We won’t be far.”

“You be safe, too,” I told him with a nod then released the Pikes clutch and took off for Soriks’s Cut where we figured the gang would most likely be cruising around.

 

We had to pass through an area known as The Cobble on the way to the Cut. This was an area that I found a bit nerve-wracking riding through, just for the feel of it. If I was on foot, I’d be fine. But on the Pike … I didn’t like the feeling. The area was a grouping of tangled, rusted, broken and corroded metal bridges and wire that had been welded and strung together and wrapped around the bottom edge of the asteroids. There were holes and gaps in the bridges, too, that left a nice open view of purple mists and vast nothingness of space below. I knew if I fell through or anything, Cayde would get Ghost to me to bring me back, but still, the idea of falling off wasn’t very pleasant because, if I fell into space, for Ghost to bring me back, I’d have to die. Which meant I’d have to pull my helmet off and suffocate to do it. And I have done it before. I don’t recommend it as a way to go if it can be helped.

“What’s wrong?” Cayde asked over the comm. “I’m getting that weird, awful feeling I usually get when you make jumps from way too high places.”

I smirked. Cayde absolutely HATED when I did jumps from very high places. After the Red War and we’d grown closer, he’d oversee some of the missions I was on with the video feed connected so he could watch what was happening as well as listen in. He liked that I didn’t mind and he could feel like he was out in the action with me. Well, sometimes I made jumps from very high up, especially off the spire near Artifacts Edge on Nessus because it was faster than going down the Vex gravity lift. I always used my boost to slow my descent and land safely, but Cayde insisted I had to tell him before I did it. At first I wouldn’t tell him and jump just to mess with him, because he’d go sputtering and dramatically talking about how I was giving him a heart attack and how he was going to throw up. It was quite funny, actually. I had no idea, though, it was another one of his little pieces of figurative armor and, one afternoon, I came back to the Tower to find him terribly upset. I thought he was just kidding with me at first but I quickly discovered he wasn’t. He confessed that his discomfort about the jumps was genuine. That they reminded him of the night Sundance first resurrected him. He’d been so disoriented and confused, as well as scared, that he ran from her and went right off a cliff, falling to his death. He said the feeling of the ground suddenly not being under his feet was still the most unsettling feeling he’d ever experienced. Of course, I immediately apologized and I made it up to him over the next couple weeks, being extra attentive when he seemed to need it, bringing him back unique and interesting souvenirs and little treasures I found from strange places I visited, and even surprising him one night with hot chocolate and a blanket, sitting out on one of the balconies off the hanger with him where we spent the night looking up at the stars and telling each other stories. And, of course, from that moment on, I never made any high jump without telling him I was going to first. I think he’d been truly surprised at how bad I felt but very appreciative of my efforts to make it up to him, as well as never upsetting him with the jumps again.

“Ais? You there?” He asked when I didn’t answer right away.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Just not crazy about navigating this jittery Pike over rickety bridges,” I told him. “Being careful.”

“Yeah, it’d be a hell of a drop going off there,” he agreed. 

“Those Pikes have very distinct exhaust signatures,” Ghost told me over the comm. “And, right now, I’ve got them coming up all over my scanner. The Rider’s gang is nearby.”

I slowed and looked around the area but didn’t see anything, so I made my way further down the trail.

“Watch it. You got Cabal just over that next rise,” Cayde told me. Wherever he was, he was up high and could see out further than I could. I slowed again and readied the Pikes weapons and, just as I came up over the next little hill, the Cabal came into sight, spotting me at the same time I saw them. They started shooting at me and I brought the Pike back around and opened fire, taking out as many as I could, circling and ducking around any structures I could to avoid getting hit. I didn’t know how good these particular Pikes were but, if they were anything like the regular Fallen ones I’d ridden before, they didn’t stand up as well as the Sparrows so I had to watch how much damage they took.

“I can take a few out if you need me to,” Cayde offered but I told him not to give himself away. I wanted the Pike gang and Yaviks to think I was alone.

Soon enough, the exchange of gunfire attracted the Pike Gang and they started coming after me. I’d cleared enough of the Cabal out of the way to be able to focus on taking out the gang without getting too badly injured or damaging the Pike. After taking out one of the gang members, Ghost came back on the comm. “They’re talking to the Rider on a secured frequency. I can triangulate her location with a little more data,” he told me, so I went after the remaining two gang members who had taken off, realizing I was more of a fight than they’d initially figured. After cornering them, I finally managed to get a couple good shots in and took them and their Pikes out, giving Ghost the data he’d needed. 

With a location secured, we followed the signal into an area known as The Boil where I had to leave the Pike behind and proceed on foot, heading inside a partially secluded hideout. All underneath me was a horrid smelling, steaming and bubbling orange liquid that I wasn’t sure was lava or battery acid, or a combination of both. “Yeah, don’t step in that if you can help it. It’s hot and it will eat away at your feet,” Cayde told me.

“That happen to you?” I asked.

“Yup. And, trust me, it ain’t pleasant.”

“Noted,” I said with a nod.

“Ow! Damnit!”

“You just stepped in it, didn’t you?” I asked, smirking.

“ … … No.”

I laughed. 

Up ahead of me opened up into what looked like some kind of arena with more twisted, corroded, and broken metal, rising up out of more of that terrible smelling liquid. I heard the Rider laugh and whoop from atop her Pike racing off ahead of me, leaving a trail of fire as I entered while dozens of ether clouds formed, more Scorn appearing from them. I shot several of them and took out another group by firing at an ether tank, causing a nice explosion.

“Whoa! Don’t go blowing stuff up without me!” Cayde chuckled.

“If you hurry up, maybe you can blow a few things up, too. You do make such divine _explosions_ ,” I grinned.

“You-you're not talking actual fire explosions, are you?” He asked. 

I chuckled. “What do you think?”

“Guys, really?” Ghost asked. “I’m right here.”

Cayde and I both chuckled and I found another Pike, hopping onto it to continue following Yaviks as she disappeared into another area. I managed to get a few hits on her but she sped up ahead of me, leaving more fire trails for me to dodge as she went deeper into the hideout. When I came out into the area, I skidded sideways to avoid another group of Scorn that were appearing, along with one of the giant headless ogre-like creatures, opening up blasts of arc energy at me. I fired and managed to take out a lot of the smaller Scorn, only taking a few minor hits to myself, but the headless guy was relentless with the arc blasts. They actually knocked me back, jarring me, and slammed me and the Pike into the base of a lookout. I didn’t hear any gunshot, just the faint whiz of a bullet flying through the air before the headless Scorn made a loud growl of fury as it stumbled and staggered, then tried to attack me again. It was quickly hit once more, this time being struck fatally. It wailed and dropped to its knees, falling over in a heap. “And stay down!” Cayde told it over the comm. “Shoot at my girl, will ya?”

I smiled, feeling a soft tingle of affection when he called me his girl. “What? No explosion?” I asked.

“That comes later,” Cayde told me. “You okay?” 

I nodded. “Nothing too bad. Thanks.”

“Hey, I get to look out for you, too, you know?” he warmly said. “I know you Titans like to think you’re invincible - ” 

“Oh, trust me, she does,” Ghost chimed in.

“Hey,” I frowned. “I do not.”

“Do you need me to recount how many times I’ve resurrected you just this week?” Ghost asked.

“No. No, you do not,” I told him and headed through a tunnel, Cayde snickering over the comm.

The end of the tunnel opened up into another area similar to the one we’d just left, more fire trails all over the place. I spotted Yaviks on the other side and went after her. As I did, instead of running, this time she turned her Pike into me and started firing actual flames at me from a special gun mounted on the front of her Pike. “Shit, I think we made her mad,” I told Cayde.

“Keep on her,” he told me as he fired on a couple ether barrels nearest to her, making them explode, rattling and injuring her. She made a frustrated and pain-laced cry, holding her side where it looked like a piece of one of the barrels had lodged into her ribs. She managed to pull it out and get her Pike turned and took off just as more Scorn appeared in my way, forcing Cayde and I to take care of them before I could get through to where she’d gone. I kept firing at her as best I could, but it seemed she had one last trick up her sleeve and started firing missiles at me.

“Whoa, watch out!” I warned him as I ducked behind a blast shield. One missile hit the ground next to me and exploded, shrapnel flying up into my leg and my arm. I hissed at the burning, searing pain, blood oozing out of the holes in my armor. I ignored the injuries as best I could and moved out from behind the shield and fired at her again. The back end of her Pike started smoking and sputtering and I noticed fuel was dripping out. “Cayde, her gas tank is leaking,” I told him.

“Get back,” he told me.

I moved back as quickly as I could and she made to come after me when Cayde was suddenly right beside me as if he’d popped out of thin air, his body engulfed in Solar flames. “Hey, Yaviks! Looks like I get to keep my record,” he told her, then lifted his Golden Gun and fired at the trail of gas coming from her Pike. She looked back at what he’d done, then at him and screamed in fury just as the tank exploded sending her and the Pike into fiery oblivion, the force of it pushing me back on the Pike and making Cayde stagger a bit.

He whooped, jumping, and fist-punching the air as he laughed. “See?! Told ya the explosion would come later!” he said with a grin in his voice, holstering his gun. 

I smiled then suddenly felt dizzy. 

“Ais?” He rushed over to me just as things went black. 

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in his arms on the ground. “Hey,” Cayde uttered as Ghost looked me over. “Better?”

“What happened?” I asked.

“You passed out from blood loss,” Ghost told me. “You took a lot of shrapnel to your side.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were injured? I tried to tell you you Titans aren’t invincible,” Cayde gently chided.

“Didn’t have time,” I shook my head. “Besides, look where it got me?” I said, managing a smile as I rested my head on his shoulder.

He softly chuckled, holding me a little closer. “You gotta tell me if you’re injured bad enough you need help, though, pal. I won’t know to get Ghost to you otherwise.”

“I think we’re going to need to rethink our plan, here,” Ghost told us. “I’m noticing it’s hard for me to monitor both of you when you’re separated like you were. I couldn’t tell Aislin was injured, I could only sense you, Cayde. I think this bond is supposed to work with the two of you moving as one.”

“We can’t do that, though, without them seeing my armor,” Cayde pointed out. “Thought we wanted to keep them cocky?”

“Then we go back to the Tower and get you a different set of armor,” Ghost told him. “It won’t deviate us so long we’ll lose an advantage.”

“He’s got a good point,” I told Cayde. “It would be easier.”

I felt hesitation in Cayde when I said that and frowned. It took me a second, but I realized what it was and reached up, caressing his cheek. “You can wear the cloak,” I assured him. “I’d never make you leave that behind.”

“You don’t think it would give me away?” He asked.

“I don’t think they’ll be focused on it,” I said. “And we’ll come up with something for a helmet or at least a way to hide your face.”

He nodded. “They’re only gonna get harder to take on as we move up the chain. Going at it together would be better in that case,” he admitted, kissing my forehead. “Alright.” 

He helped me to my feet and Ghost saw to bringing the ship around close enough we could transmat back on board. Once we were in our seats, Cayde opened up a channel to Zavala’s direct line in the Tower.

“Cayde? Is everything alright?” He asked.

“Hey, Big Guy. Yeah. But we got a little problem. I need a new set of armor. Not the cloak, but the suit itself and a helmet or something that will work to hide my face. Any ideas?”

“Did something happen to your old one?” Zavala asked.

“No, no. But it’s easily recognizable. We’re goin’ for the element of surprise. Got anything stashed away I might be able to use?”

There was a bit of a pause before Zavala replied. “I may have something. Are you headed back now?”

“Yeah,” Cayde nodded, already setting the coordinates. 

“I’ll have it ready when you get here,” Zavala told him and we left the Tangled Shore’s orbit, heading home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. When I first played Forsaken, I remember how hard it was to beat the Rider solo. Now, it seems so easy! Even writing it, Cayde and Ais seemed to breeze through it. But I know the other Barons will be harder and present other challenges for them that will be interesting. I'm going to try to get at least one more chapter out before the holidays for you guys. :) .


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this took an interesting turn I hadn't expected, but liked where it went. Hope you do, too! More to come soon! :)

When we got back to the Tower, Zavala and Ikora both met us in the Hanger and we followed them to the Vanguard meeting room, Ghost floating along with us. I knew it was a special room designed after the old Tower Vanguard area on the Traveler’s Walk but I hadn’t been inside due to it being a private room for Vanguard members only. Cayde had told me about it, though, and I paused and looked at Zavala in surprise as he held the door open for both of us. I felt Cayde’s hand on the small of my back and turned my gaze to him as he gave me a little nod to step inside.

“Don’t act so surprised, Aislin,” Zavala said with mild amusement. “You are welcome in here. Especially now, considering the link you and Cayde share with your Ghost.”

“Uuuh … yeah. We, uh … we kinda need to talk to you guys about that,” Cayde awkwardly said, both Ikora and Zavala looking at us with arched eyebrows. 

“See, um … we, uh …” Cayde attempted, rubbing the back of his neck before looking at me helplessly. I smirked, feeling his embarrassment and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, letting him know I had this. “Something happened where Ghost thinks we actually merged our Light,” I told them. “We can feel what each other is feeling. Not in a strong sense. We’re not in each others heads or anything like that. But we can feel these subtle waves of emotion from each other.”

“What happened?” Ikora asked, tilting her head curiously.

I heard Cayde make a little squeaking sound and looked over at him and knew, if he were human, his face would be red. I found it absolutely adorable that, even at his age, this was just too much for him. I could actually sense that he wanted to sink into the floor. 

“Are you alright, Cayde?” Zavala asked, noticing the way Cayde seemed to be shifting from one foot to the other.

“Fine,” Cayde quickly replied, nodding. 

I took his hand in mine and held it, petting it soothingly and he seemed to settle some. “Personal subject,” I told them, “so I’ll just come right out with it,” I said, feeling Cayde’s hand tighten around mine a little. “After Cayde got his Light back, we were … intimate. It seems to have created a bond between us.”

I noticed Zavala’s attention suddenly pique. “What exactly happened?” he gently asked.

“Exactly _exactly_?” Cayde asked him, eyebrows and voice rising.

“You don’t need to say details with that, Cayde,” Zavala assured him. “I meant when the bond happened. With your Light.”

“Oh, uh … Well …” Cayde looked at me, then back at Zavala and cleared his throat. “We were both covered in flames. But they were soft. Just lightly moving along our skin. And then they got stronger as we … er … they got stronger until the Light got so bright, it was blinding. Then it just burst, sounding like glass breaking. And it was snowing embers. But they didn’t hurt. They just landed on our skin and disappeared.” He shook his head. “We didn’t notice anything right away until Ais was down on the Shore fighting off some Scorn. She said she could feel my worry. And then I realized I could feel her, too. So we just assumed whatever happened with the Light was what caused it.”

Ikora looked over at Zavala. “It’s the same as-”

Zavala nodded and gave her a look and she nodded. “I’ll go get some tea,” she said and left the room.

“Uuh, wh-what, uh, what just happened?” Cayde asked.

“Please, sit,” Zavala requested, motioning to a couple chairs at the table as he sat down in one next to ours.

We sat, Ghost hovering right above us, while I was still holding Cayde’s hand in mine, our joined hands resting in my lap. Cayde was looking at Zavala with a curious and surprised expression. “When you were … in a coma,” Zavala began, speaking to Cayde, “I told Aislin about something … only a select few know of. It is not something I speak of, not because of lack of trust, but because it is … painful. But, for lack of a better expression, in light of what has happened, I feel it is important to tell you what I told her and … more.”

I knew Cayde could sense the seriousness of the subject and saw him sit up a bit straighter as he offered Zavala his full attention.

Zavala looked off to the side for a moment, seeming to collect his thoughts, then back at Cayde. “Long before you came to the City, in its very early days, I … met and fell in love with a very beautiful, very special woman. Her name … was Isabelle. She was a Warlock. She …”. He looked off again, a soft smile coming to his face. “She was a Light unlike any other. Warm. Kind. Strong. She had a heart that seemed big enough to carry the role world inside it.” His smile grew and I felt Cayde’s hand gently squeeze mine as he listened. 

“What … what happened to her?” Cayde carefully asked.

Zavala closed his eyes and took a careful breath. “When the Reef Wars found their way to Earth … Veliniks, the Ravenous and a group of Fallen form the House of Wolves came to a valley not far from here. Isabelle and other Guardians went out to protect the refugees in that area from their attacks.” He swallowed, even now, having a difficult time retelling what happened. “There was an airstrike by the Awoken. Led by … Petra. She claimed she was unaware of the Guardians in the valley …” 

“Oh no,” Cayde quietly uttered and I noticed his shoulders slumping out the corner of my eye as he realized where this was leading.

Zavala nodded. “All of them were killed,” he managed, his voice a bit broken as he said it, despite his features remaining stoic. 

“Zavala, I …”. Cayde shook his head. “I’m so sorry,” he uttered, actually reaching over settling his hand on Zavala’s arm. It was truly rare to see this exchange between them and, while I was happy to see it, I was sad for the reason.

Zavala laid his hand atop Cayde’s and gave it a careful pat then cleared his throat. “There’s more,” he carefully said. “What I didn’t tell Aislin was that the two of you are not the only Guardians to share such a bond.”

“You and Isabelle did, too,” I quietly surmised.

Zavala nodded and I noticed Cayde’s eyes widen a little, a strange feeling pass over him like the man he’d known all these years wasn’t anything like he’d assumed. Not like anything anyone assumed. That there was someone far different under the stern wall of a man he called this friend he was just now discovering. “While you and Aislin share Solar energies, Isabelle and I shared Arc.” He closed his eyes, actually chuckling a little. “We …” He opened his eyes and his smile became a fond grin as he remembered. “We shorted out the entire Tower when it happened.”

“Wow,” I softly laughed. 

“That’s … what Isabelle said,” Zavala smiled, nodding. “Ikora, still a student of Osiris’ at the time, came running in, not knowing what happened and … needless to say …”

“Is one of the rare few to see you out of your armor, eh?” Cayde offered, amusement in his tone.

Zavala nodded. “Indeed.”

Speaking of Ikora, she came back in then, a tray in her hands, with cups and a kettle of tea, as well as a glass of amber liquid with some ice. She set the tray down on the table and handed Zavala the glass which he held up to her in thanks before taking a long drink of it. I guessed it was either bourbon, brandy, or whisky. She then poured cups of hot tea for each of us before sitting down next to Zavala. 

After having a bit more of his drink, Zavala set his glass down and looked at us. “Isabelle and I shared many wonderful years with our bond. I have never known any others with the bond until now. However, Isabelle and I didn’t share a Ghost,” he said, glancing up at our Ghost. “I don’t know how that will change things, if at all. But, what I can tell you is, yes, you will feel each other as you have been. You will sense when the other is near. And you will share your Light. You will move and act as one when together. Because you are. Don’t think about it. Just let it happen. Your Light will know the others; will know what the other is going to do and compensate for or complete what the other has started.”

Cayde looked at me and I softly smiled at him, leaning over, nuzzling him tenderly before kissing his lips. He made a quiet sigh and the plates along his cheeks shifted up in a smile, his hand squeezing mine.

“Now,” Zavala said, sighing heavily, his voice quiet. “The two of you are well aware that you never know what might happen tomorrow, or the next day. Or the day after that. _Live_ ,” he said, and Cayde and I both saw Zavala’s eyes shining with unshed tears, Ikora reaching over to supportively set her hand on his arm. “Love each other. Be together. Enjoy every moment. And keep each other safe. Because I can tell you, there is no pain greater than feeling a piece of your soul ripped from you and, even now, still searching for it. It is an emptiness and … anguish I don’t wish on anyone. Even our greatest enemies.” 

I suddenly got a sense of why Zavala spent so much time staring out at the City, searching. Why he was always so reserved and careful of what he said and how he appeared. And why he was so steadfast in his need to protect the people of the City, growing more isolationist as time went on. The pain he had gone through - was still going through - he didn’t want anyone else to feel it. He was trying to protect as many people as he could while shouldering an immense amount of pain and loss.

“Zavala …” I could hear and feel the pain within Cayde for what his friend - his brother - was dealing with. 

“You’re wondering, if it’s so painful, how and why do I keep going?” Zavala asked.

Cayde swallowed but finally nodded.

“Because I know she would want me to. Because I know I’ll be with her again someday, when my time comes. But it is not that time. Not yet.”

My jaw tightened and decided to drink some of the tea Ikora had poured for me, the warmth of it soothing, the scent of jasmine calming. I felt such pain for Zavala and an odd twinge for guilt that I never knew and judged him wrongly in his decisions, now understanding why he made them as he had. Even knowing I wasn’t meant to know the reason then, I knew now, and I felt awful for him but grateful to know. After the prison, I couldn’t even imagine trying to go on without Cayde. Now that we were bonded … the idea was just unfathomable. Just thinking about it made me feel ill. 

I suddenly felt a warm hand rubbing at my back and looked over at Cayde who nodded. “I feel it, too,” he quietly said and I leaned over and held him as he held me in return.

“Is this … why you and Petra … don’t get along?” Cayde asked him, looking over at Zavala even as we continued to hold each other.

Zavala nodded. “Among other reasons having to do with the handling of the Reef and the Queen. But … yes. I have tried to … get past it. As I told Aislin … I didn’t kill her because I know Isabelle wouldn’t want that. I wanted to. Part of me still does. But it would never bring Isabelle back.”

“I’m so sorry, Big Guy,” Cayde sadly said. “If I had known-”

“I wouldn’t have stopped you, Cayde,” Zavala told him. “I still won’t. I am not angry you work with her. Don’t be angry at her for what happened. It has taken me nearly two-hundred years to accept she was doing what she thought was right. That it was an accident. And, while I can’t say I have forgiven her … I have found holding onto the anger and pain I directed toward her has done no good. I still feel it … still act on it at times, despite knowing better, but I recognize the futility in it.”

“That’s why you saw no point in going after Uldren,” I quietly said. “You knew it wouldn’t do anything to help my pain and anger. Not in the long run.”

Zavala nodded then leaned over the table, holding himself up on his folded arms. “He is still a threat. As are the Barons. We cannot allow them to remain free. If you cannot capture them and killing them is the only way to stop them - even Uldren - then you’ll do what you must, as you always have. Just know, it won’t change what happened. The feeling of getting back at them will be fleeting. Cayde is alive. He is right here with you. Hold onto that instead.”

I gave a little nod as I felt Cayde’s arms close around me even tighter and I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder as he rested his head against mine, Zavala softly smiling and nodding.

“Sit for a while. Drink your tea,” Ikora told us. “Zavala and I will be nearby. When you’re ready, we’ll have the new armor for Cayde and bring it in.” She set her hand on Zavala’s arm and stood just as Zavala lifted his glass to us and finished it off then got up and followed her out, pausing only briefly to lay his hand on Cayde’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze, then left us alone.

 

“I, uh … I suddenly-”

“Don’t know what to do?” I asked Cayde.

“Yeah,” he whispered then shook his head. “I had no idea. It all makes sense now but … Stars, I had no idea,” he said. “He told you what happened … before?”

“When you were in a coma he told me that he understood how I felt. That he understood the pain of losing someone you love and the want for vengeance. But he didn’t tell me about the bond.”

“Are - are you two alright?” Ghost asked.

“No,” Cayde and I both said at the same time. I smirked a little and Cayde softly chuckled at our mutual answer. “And yes, right?” He asked.

I nodded. “And yes. I feel terrible for him but … also grateful there’s someone who knows what we’re going through.”

“We can’t be the only ones,” Cayde said. “Maybe the only ones sharing a Ghost with a bond but … there must be others.”

I nodded. “I would think so.” I lifted my head and looked at him, laying my hands on his cheeks, softly caressing them, feeling a lot of emotions running wild. 

“Can you imagine how awesome it would have been if we were in the Tower when we made our bond and burned it down?!” Cayde asked, practically grinning and I knew he was trying to put that shield up. Even so, I couldn’t help it, I snorted and fell forward, giggling into his chest.

Cayde hugged me. “Made ya laugh.”

“You’re good at that,” I nodded.

“I try,” he whispered, rubbing my back and I could feel him faltering a little.

I lifted my head and kissed him. “It’s okay to not be okay right now, you know?” 

He nodded. “I know.” He took a breath. “You, um …” he started then paused to look for the right words, bringing his hands back around to hold mine. “You do realize that … from the sound of it and the … the way Zavala was talking about this bond … it’s uh … well … maybe I’m over thinking this,” he said.

I shook my head. “What were you going to say?” I asked.

He looked at me frowning. “Do … do you think it sort of sounds like … well … like we’re … m-married?” He asked, sounding hesitant on that last word.

I took his hands in mine and lifted them, kissing the backs of them, then looked into his eyes. “I think we’re beyond that, Little Firefly,” I softly told him and his eyes searched mine for a moment before he closed them and curled up into me. I put my arms around him, trying to get a read on what he was feeling but it was a lot of emotions all at once, just as I’d figured. He was overwhelmed and definitely not okay. But it wasn’t a bad not okay. It was just … just an awful lot.

“I’m happy,” he murmured. “Don’t get me wrong. I really am. It’s just …”

“A lot’s coming at you all at once and you don’t know how to handle it at the moment?” I gently offered. 

He nodded. 

“I feel the same way, too,” I told him.

“You seem to be handling a lot of this better than I am,” he said. “I’m sorry.” He sat up a little. “I should be more supportive here. You always take on the big stuff and I … I don’t seem to hold up as well with this stuff as you do and-” I cut him off, settling a finger over his lips. “Shhhhh,” I soothed, then pulled him back down into my arms. 

“I handle this better because I know you need me. The last two days, you’ve been doing nothing but going from one emotional extreme to another. And so have I, I know. But I can feel how overwhelmed and raw you are and that you’ve hit that emotional wall of either going numb at this point or completely falling apart. And it’s okay. You can lean on me. I promise, later, you can hold me all you like and be the strong one. But let me be my good old Titan self here for right now until you feel better, okay?” 

I felt him relax and nod. “I won’t argue,” he murmured. “You’re right. About everything. And I don’t think you needed to feel what I’m feeling to know any of it.” He hugged me tighter. “I feel like … I’m in a large room, crowded with people and loud, blaring music. All the people are the things I need to deal with and the music is my emotions screaming at me. I don’t know which one to take care of first or even how, I just know I want the room less crowded and the music to stop so I can get my bearings.” He sighed. “It’s … it’s gonna take a while to really let it register everything Zavala said, too. My heart … hurts for him. All these years and I never knew. I feel like I should have known.”

I nodded. “I feel the same ache,” I murmured.

“I don’t know what to do, Ais,” he confessed.

“First, we’re going to do as Ikora suggested and drink our tea. I think it’ll help us just to relax and take a few minutes for ourselves,” I said. “Then, we’re going to go after those Barons, one at a time until we get to Uldren.”

“Are you going to kill them or give them the option to surrender?” Cayde asked.

“I’m going to take Zavala’s advice and give them a chance. Even Uldren. Zavala’s right. I have you back. That’s what matters. Am I still angry? Oh, yes. Am I going to go easy on them? Not a chance. But I’ll give them the option to surrender.”

“And then? After it’s all done? Then what?” He lifted his head and looked at me.

“We do what Zavala suggested and we live, sweetheart,” I told him, then handed him his tea. 

He looked at it then got up and took it and my cup and went over to the wall setting both cups down on the floor, then came back over and got me, tugging me to my feet and bringing me over to the wall motioning me to sit. Ghost watched us, his back end twitching curiously before he floated down closer to us as I sat. Cayde got down with me and scooted back between my legs and laid against my chest, sighing as he pulled my arms around himself. I felt an immense weight lift off of him and his whole body just relaxed in a way I hadn’t felt before, followed by waves of contentment and peace, as well as … something else, I wasn’t sure what, though. “Better?” I murmured and he nodded and laid his head back on my shoulder as well. 

“What is it about sitting like this you like so much?” I asked, snuggling him.

He shrugged. “I feel safe,” he quietly told me. “You have my back. Nothing can sneak up on me. Not even the dreams.”

“Before the prison, had they been getting worse or better?” I asked.

“Better,” he said. “Although, now that I remember what happened, I don’t know if that means I’m going to have other dreams for a while.” He reached over and picked up his cup and sipped from it then took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “This is what I used to do all the time, you know? I’d sit like this, but with my back to a pillow or something and … I’d … I’d pretend it was her. When I needed this feeling.”

“Your Queen?” I asked. “You’d pretend you were sitting with her?”

He nodded. “I’d have my journal and pretend she was sitting with me like you are now and I’d write to her as if I was talking to her. Sounds crazy, I know. But it helped when I needed it.”

I sighed. “Sweetheart, it doesn’t sound like you were crazy, it sounds like you were lonely.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, I-I guess.” He frowned. “And I have no idea why I’m confessing all his right now.”

“Maybe it’s part of that room full of people and all that noise,” I offered, rubbing his chest. “There might be a lot more there than just what’s happened in the last couple days that you haven’t dealt with.”

“Maybe,” he nodded, then turned his head and looked at me. “Could also be this bond helping with that.”

“Of that I have no doubt,” I nodded. “There’s a lot you’ve had going on in that head of yours, and in here,” I added, petting his chest, “and you had no one to tell. I know it’s one thing to write in your journals, but to have someone actually listen to you is something else entirely. And I noticed, as soon as you realized I was willing to listen you started talking.” 

He set down the tea cup and hugged my arms, nodding. “Yeah. But … not right now. Not that stuff. Right now what’s bothering me is Uldren and the Barons. And just feeling bad about Zavala.”

“I don’t think he told us his story so we’d feel bad, sweetheart,” I gently told him. 

“No, I know,” Cayde nodded. “Just hard not to.”

“I know,” I whispered, kissing his cheek.

“Two-hundred years is a … a long time to love someone and … not have them there,” he murmured, looking down at my gauntlet armor, running his fingers over the wrist pieces.

I lifted my hand, cradling his head, and gave the side of it a kiss. “I’m sorry I was so late,” I whispered. He turned his head and blinked at me, looking a bit surprised. “I know what you were thinking,” I gently said, nodding, and he sighed and pressed his face into the side of my neck. “That’s what it is, isn’t it?” I murmured, caressing the back of his head. “When Zavala said two-hundred years of being without her, longing for her. You know how that feels. It struck something in you, didn’t it?” 

He swallowed and nodded. “But you’re here now.”

“I’m here now,” I assured him. “And I’m not going anywhere,” I promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter also got done faster than I thought, so I may get another done before the holidays! *Crosses fingers*


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a sweet yet slightly poignant moment between Ais and Cayde that came to me. It was something that played around in my head and I thought was important to the story so I wanted to add it before the Christmas crazy comes along.

Cayde and I ended up taking our heavy outer armor off to get more comfortable and remained sitting on the floor together for a while, drinking our tea and talking, just as we usually did in the Hanger or back in the apartment.

“Do you really think, if one of us started something with our Light, the other would just know what to do?” Cayde asked me, taking another sip of his tea as I did the same. 

“Hmm?” I asked, setting my cup down. “You mean if we went back out there right now after the Barons?”

“Or anyone,” he nodded. “But yeah. Zavala said the other would just know or compensate.”

I shrugged. “If our Light is joined and we can sense each other, then, yeah, I’d think so,” I nodded.

“Huh,” Cayde uttered, pondering. A moment later, he turned a bit in my arms, laying sideways against my chest and looked at me as I put my arms back around him. “Do you wonder why us?” He asked. "Like, I mean, why the Traveler chose to give us this ability?”

“The question’s been sitting in the back of my mind,” I nodded. “But, with everything else that’s been going on, I haven’t had time to really think about it.

He sat up just long enough to set his cup down on the floor next to mine before settling back down against me. After a moment, I felt his fingers tracing along my arm, starting at my shoulder and slowly moving down to my elbow before he stopped and just rested his hand there. “Ais?” He quietly murmured. “Can-can we try something?”

“What do you want to try?” I asked.

“I wanna see if we can make the flames like we did before. I wanna see if … if it’s possible to make them happen between us when … we’re not making love.”

I nodded and, keeping one arm around him, I lifted my left hand and held it in front of him so he could lay his palm against mine. He did and a soft smile came to my lips as I felt the warmth of his hand along with a slight tremble. I could sense he was a little nervous but also curious as to what might happen, so I shifted my fingers to the sides of his, then folded them down between his, lacing them together. 

“I really like it when you take your gloves off,” I murmured, still smiling. 

“You do?” He asked, just as quietly.

I nodded. “I love your hands,” I said, caressing the side of his index finger with my thumb, feeling the smoothness of his skin and the soft edges where the silicone changed to mesh where his knuckle was.

He smiled. “Do you like it when I take anything else off?” He playfully flirted.

“I thought you wanted to find out if this would work without sex?” I asked, chuckling.

“Can you say ‘making love’?” He gently asked. “Sex sounds … impersonal.”

“Sure,” I nodded, kissing the side of his head. Well, that was something I hadn’t expected. He was such a sensitive romantic under all the posturing. It was quite sweet, actually. 

“Thanks,” he murmured. “And, yeah, I do. I’m just asking out of curiosity.”

“Of course I like it when you take other things off. You’re absolutely gorgeous.” It was true. While his body may have been manufactured, it was a work of art and just the colors - the deep gray and the teal - and the way it all came together … it was stunning.

He bowed his head a bit.

“Why are you suddenly being so shy?” I asked, amused. It wasn’t like we hadn’t slept together twice again today in between missions. 

He shrugged. “Never been called that before. Except by you. Think I’m still trynna get used to it.”

“Never? By anyone?” I asked, surprised. “Were they all blind?” 

“Blind?” He asked, lifting his head, looking at me curiously.

“When they saw your body,” I said.

He shook his head. “No one’s ever seen m-” His eyes suddenly went huge, like he’d just said something he shouldn’t have. He immediately clamped his mouth shut, looking afraid, and pulled his hand away from mine as he sat up. “I mean … uh …”. He cleared his throat and was looking around, rather frantic, and I could actually feel anxiety rising in his chest.

“Cayde …” I was absolutely stunned. If he’d just let slip what I thought he had … Two-hundred years … that was … a very long time. Not that I hadn’t had this strange little inkling in the far reaches of my mind but, still … to know for sure. That was quite the realization.

He winced. “I-I know I probably should have told you. I was gonna say something b-but it all happened so fast and felt so nice. I didn’t want to ruin it,” he quickly said, wringing his hands together as he stared down at them, shaking a little.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m not mad,” I told him, setting my hand on his shoulder, sliding it down over his back, rubbing it softly.

He glanced over at me, calming a little. “Y-you’re not?”

“No. I’d never be mad at you for that. I’m just really surprised. That’s … that’s a very, very long time to not be with anyone. No wonder you’ve felt so lonely.” I was surprised he wasn’t sensing I wasn’t mad at him but I figured he was just upset and wasn’t cluing in to it.

“You-you know my Queen was always up here,” he said, lightly tapping his temple with his finger. “Until you came along and it turned out you were the figure I always had in my head. Just didn’t know it until you were right in front of me. But … that image I had all these years, that … figure that sat in my mind and I could turn to when I needed someone … If I wanted to be with another person, physically, it felt …” he shook his head. “Wrong, I guess?”

“Like you were being unfaithful to her?” I gently offered.

“Yeah,” he immediately nodded. “Yeah, that’s exactly it,” he said, pointing his finger at me. “I know it sounds insane. All of it. That version of her - of you - wasn’t really real. She couldn’t feel or know anything. She wouldn’t be hurt or feel betrayed. But I would feel it for her and … I just … I-I couldn’t do it. I … I really sound crazy, don’t I?”

“No,” I shook my head. “Oh, Little Firefly, come’ere,” I murmured and pulled him back into my arms. “Don’t feel bad or embarrassed. It’s alright. I’m just really, really surprised.” I sighed. “Cayde that’s … that’s devotion, sweetheart. It’s incredibly romantic, even if, all these years, she was someone in your head. She was real to you. She was special and kept you going. There’s nothing wrong with holding onto that if it was something good and positive in your life.”

I felt his arms slip around me and cling to me, almost impossibly tight. He let out a little chuckle and shook his head. “I’ve never told anyone. And Andal and Shiro … all of ‘em … they always thought I was such a ladies man. Whenever we’d go into bars or to other … well …”

“Less reputable establishments?” I offered, smirking a bit.

“Yeah,” he chuckled again. “We’d all get so drunk, but even at that, I’d never …” he shook his head. “There were times I wanted to, though. I know Andal and Shiro had. So I’d just, um … y’know, spin a yarn the next morning for ‘em. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know what to do and all that. I did, I just … couldn’t. So I’d make up a pretty good story. Never go into too much detail, though. Always kept the mystery. Drove ‘em crazy. But I don’t think they ever suspected.”

“You know, I used to think you were insecure about being an Exo,” I told him. “When people would stare at you for too long or try to touch you and you’d back away a little. I thought it had something to do with that.”

“Oh, there was some of that mixed in,” he nodded. “Still is. Sometimes - before yesterday, anyway, I’d think about what I really am and if I really was a man - a human man … and then I'd regret a decision I don’t remember making. I’d wonder about who I was and what I looked like. Wonder if it was really worth it. But then, I think of you and I remind myself, if I hadn’t made that decision, I wouldn’t be here with you now. I don’t know where I’d be, but I don’t think it’d be any place good. Then that triggers the nightmares and … ”

“It spirals on you?” I softly murmured.

He nodded.

“Now I understand why it was so hard for you to say something. Even in that moment in the prison,” I murmured, rubbing his back again.

He nodded. “I’m sorry. I know the no sorry’s rule but … I need to tell you. I really am so, so, sorry, Ais. I should have told you. There’s just … been so much building for so long. And I don’t know what to do with a lot of it.” He took a deep, shaky breath and sighed. “I kinda feel like I’m in this limbo. And I’m holding onto a rope and … and you have the other end. You’re pulling me closer and closer to you, and I feel that warmth and that safety being with you … but there’s this cold chill at my back. The things I’ve done, the things I thought, the little flashes of memories of shadows grabbing at me - pain that I really wish I didn’t remember …it’s all right there and …” He shivered and burrowed into me as much as he could.

“Shhhhhh,” I soothed, feeling him press his face back into the side of my neck. “Nothing’s going to get you, I promise,” I told him, holding him as close as I could. “I won’t let it, okay?” He hesitated, then nodded. I wondered if every time he’d sat with his back against my chest was a time he felt unsafe. Felt like those shadows and the cold was right there about to get him. That had to be terrifying. And all this time he was doing his best not to show it. He’d posture, joke around, be silly. Anything to drive that feeling away and forget, which would explain why, sometimes, he could get insufferable to others. They didn’t understand it was a defense mechanism. But now that his figurative Queen was actually real for him … There was no longer a figurative shield. I was a real one that he had desperately needed and was seeking out, even if not fully aware he was doing it. 

“You still with me?” I murmured after he’d been quiet for a while.

He nodded. “I’m here,” he whispered.

“Is there anything I can do?” 

“You’re doing it,” he murmured, giving me a little squeeze.

“I’m sorry I didn’t pick up on all this sooner,” I murmured.

He shook his head. “You weren’t supposed to. I wanted it hidden. Not that I wanted to hide things from you. I … I wanted to hide them from myself. If I don’t think about those things, then I don’t get like this. I don’t like being like this. And these last two days have been an awful lot of … this mood. I just want to bury these feelings with the other me’s.”

I could feel this jumble of emotion right in the center of my chest and knew it was coming from him. It was sadness mingled with rage - wanting to cry and scream and hit things. Take it all out on those shadows and the cold darkness just on the edge of the light until his hands were broken and bleeding - but it was also him just wanting to curl up and hide from the world so he didn’t have to deal with any of it. 

I wrapped him up with my body as much as I could, wanting him to feel that safety - like nothing could ever get through me to get to him - and I felt him sigh and relax some. 

“This is … turning into a really weird day,” I heard him murmur.

I smiled a little and nodded. “Yeah, but there’s a lot happening all at once and it seems each thing is vying for our attention in one form or another.”

I felt him nod against my shoulder. “Partta me just wants to stay right here with you. Just like this. I really would like to see if we could make that fire happen again like before,” he said a soft smile in his voice. “But I know we need to finish what we started. And every minute here is a minute more Uldren gets closer to what he’s trynna do. Not to mention more Scorn showin’ up. I’m sure, pretty soon, other Guardians are gonna start runnin' into ‘em.”

“You want to try to get up and see that armor Zavala and Ikora have for you?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No,” he lightly chuckled. “I wanna stay here with you. Just like this.” He let me go and shifted so he could hug my left arm instead. “You’re warmth and understanding … it’s more than I ever coulda hoped for. I’m kinda afraid to get up and get back out there. Afraid the moment’s gonna be lost.”

“We can come back to it any time you like, sweetheart,” I told him. “I promise. You need me, I’m right here.”

There was a tingle of appreciation deep within him and he hugged my arm a little tighter, then sat up and gave me a loving kiss. “Next time, with ramen? Nothing chases away the cold like a hot bowl of that stuff.”

I smirked. “Anything you want,” I nodded.

He hugged me. “Thanks, Ais. For everything. Really. I know I don’t gotta say it, but I want to. I wouldn’t be able to get through this without you.”

I hugged him back. “Like I said, I’m right here.” I never would have imagined he was going through so much but I was deeply touched he was willing to let me help him though it. And he did need help. This was more than anyone should have to bear alone.

“Okay,” he sighed, pulling himself back together and tucking the other stuff away for now. “Let’s get up before I change my mind and Zavala or Ikora come in here and catch me in an unflattering position.”

I huffed a laugh. “You were sprawled out against me earlier yesterday, snoring away in front of them, and you’re worried about them seeing you sitting on the floor?”

He sat back, looking scandalized. “I do not snore.”

“You so snore. You sound like a big cat.”

“No way! You’re making that up!” He said as he got to his feet, offering me his hand. 

I couldn’t help but laugh!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's a bit more into who Cayde is and why he's been the way he has for so long. He's very good at suddenly putting up the happy and carefree exterior, but I always got a sense there was a lot more going on deep down. This was just my take on it. No idea what the next few days are going to bring with the holiday so, if I can get something out, I will, but I have no idea. If not, definitely right after Christmas I'll be back at the keyboard writing up more for all of you! :)  
> Happy Holidays to all who celebrate!  
> ~Ais


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! What do you know! I managed to get a chapter out on Christmas! :D . Happy reading!

Instead of us leaving the room, Ghost offered to go find Zavala and Ikora while we waited, Cayde hopping up onto the table, sitting, legs dangling as he poured himself another cup of tea.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink so much tea at one time,” I said, noticing that was his third cup. “That’s going to go right though you.”

Cayde chuckled and nodded. “It is. I just really like this one. Don’t worry. Before I get in the new armor, I’ll-” he made a little brushing motion over his body. “Wouldn’t want to start a fight with one of the Barons and have to ask for a pee break.”

I snorted. “Yeah, that would be awkward.”

He chuckled again and nodded, sipping from his cup.

“That’s jasmine tea, too, isn’t it?” I asked him. 

He nodded. “It is,” he smiled. “Most times Ikora and I’d sit and talk, she’d make this one. It’s her favorite.”

I smiled. “You haven’t done that in a while,” I said, going over, hopping up on the table beside him. I knew he and Ikora would have occasional sit-downs. They weren’t deeply personal nor did they hold the intimate affection like ours did. They were more philosophical. Times between friends who simply enjoyed each others company and liked to bounce ideas off each other, or discuss the world and the things that lie ahead. But they were still special times for Cayde and Ikora, that I knew. They were times when he could let go of some of the posturing and discuss deeper things and she could let herself laugh and just be with a good friend.

I felt his shoulder bump mine in an affectionate gesture and turned my head to see warm, softly glowing blue eyes smiling at me. “I’ve had you,” he told me.

I smiled back. “I’m glad you feel that way, sweetheart, and I’ll always be here. But she may miss spending time with you.”

“Oh,” he said, then frowned. “Yeah, I-I guess you’re right. That’s a good point.”

“With the close call you just had, too, I’m sure she might like your company, once we take care of things,” I suggested.

“Are you trynna get rid of me?” He asked, chuckling before taking another sip of tea.

I smirked. “Of course not. I just know I’m not the only one who loves you and is glad you’re alright.”

“In that case, I should probably spend a little time with Amanda, too, huh?” He asked, his voice fondly soft. “And the Big Guy.” I think he was getting his head wrapped around the idea that he really mattered that much to others.

I nodded. “I’m not saying rush out and do things with them or others the second we finish this all up. I know you need a break. I’m just saying, the people closest to you are likely feeling a bit like I did. It - we were all really scared, Cayde. We didn’t know if you’d make it back to us. I’m lucky. I get to call you mine,” I told him, reaching over, caressing his cheek with the backs of my fingers, feeling him lean into it a bit. “But, in a way, you’re theirs, too. And I know they’d love to have you around for a little while. To have that reassurance you’re still here.”

“Yeah, I see what you’re sayin’,” he nodded. “And you’re right. It would be nice to spend time with them. With the War and rebuilding the City, we all sort of fell out of our usual routines.” He looked over at me and pet my knee. “Thanks, Ais. I’m damn lucky to have you to think of that stuff.”

“Oh, I’m sure it would’ve come to you eventually,” I smiled, leaning sideways, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. I knew it would have. Sooner or later he would have picked up on it. He just had a lot going on right now. But he would have noticed them needing to be around him and sought them out. I felt him rest his head against mine, sighing, a peaceful ebb about him, and I slipped my arm around him. 

“You know,” he murmured, “it’s really nice sharing this bond with you. But what I really like is that, even without it, you just got me. In ways no one else ever has before.”

“There was just something about you I connected with,” I murmured back and felt him lean into me a little more.

“Same here,” he whispered.

The soft creak of the door made me open my eyes to see Ikora and Zavala following Ghost back into the room. Cayde gave my knee a little squeeze, then sat upright, setting his cup aside. “So,” he said, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. “We gonna get me in some new duds so I can take out the bad guys in style?”

I snorted.

“Indeed,” Zavala nodded. “Over here,” he told us, gesturing behind us. I lifted my head off Cayde’s shoulder and we both slid off the table to follow Zavala.

“Thanks for the tea,” I heard Cayde quietly tell Ikora from just behind me. 

“You’re quite welcome, as always,” she replied, her voice soft.

“When we get this all taken care of, maybe you and I could sit down with another pot?” Cayde said.

“That would be very nice,” Ikora told him and I could hear the smile in her voice as I glanced back at them, Cayde giving me a little wink. 

I smirked stopping with Zavala at a door just off the back corner of the room. After punching in a code and giving a voice command authorization, the door lock released and opened. Beyond it, inside, was a large, open, circular vault, which appeared to house some of the best armor for all the classes as well as some of the best exotics - weapons and armor both - that had once been stored through engrams coded into terminals in the old Tower. Here, however, each weapon and piece of armor was physically present and behind glass, on display like the museums of old. In the center of the rounded room, held up and together on a stand, was a set of black and silver Hunter armor, made up of various pieces selected from the collection, all except a cloak. My eyes immediately went to the gauntlets, recognizing them from their unusual metallic design. They were the Shards of Galanor. I had heard about those. They were said to be made with some kind of super metal from the Golden Age. They were also said to bond well with Hunters who used a Solar subclass.

Zavala stepped up to the armor and motioned Cayde to come over and look at it. “I think you’ll find this set will work well with your new abilities,” he told him. “As well as offer some added resistance to incoming attacks.”

Cayde went over to the armor and looked at it, running his hands over it, nodding. I could tell he could feel a slight draw to the metal, as if it sensed his Lights dominant force and wished to connect with it. He glanced at me and I gave a bit of a nod that, yes, I felt it, too, before his eyes drifted up to the helmet. “That’s a strange looking helmet,” he said as I came over to look at the armor more closely.

“It is called the Insight Rover Mask,” Zavala told him. “I added a modification to the forehead which brought the face of it out a little more to make room for your horn,” Zavala told him. “It should still be a comfortable fit while concealing your identity. And, speaking of, the inscription along the inside is what made me choose it for you.”

Cayde arched a metal eyebrow at him and picked the helmet up off the stand, turning it over in his hands, and read the inscription aloud. “‘ _No living person shall know thy true face_ ‘,” he uttered, then looked up at Zavala who nodded. Cayde nodded back, understanding the connection Zavala had made with it for this occasion. As he set the helmet back he checked out the chest armor, tapping his finger against the hilt of the knife holstered across the front.

“The chest is reinforced. It will take something a hell of a lot stronger than your canon to put a hole through it,” Zavala told him and glanced at me as if to reassure me of that. “And, the knife seemed suited to you,” he added with a bit of a smirk.

Cayde snorted as I smiled at the comment. The armor was definitely him. I knew he’d make good use of the knife, too. I watched as he pulled it out of its sheath and ran his thumb along the edge of the blade to check the sharpness. He suddenly winced and jerked his thumb back. I saw blood oozing from a long slit the apparently incredibly sharp blade had just easily made without him hardly touching it. “Wow,” he uttered, sounding impressed, looking at the cut. 

“You okay?” I asked, a little concerned, but he nodded as Ghost hovered close to him and healed him.

“Thanks, buddy,” he told him and Ghost bobbed. Cayde looked at me and playfully tapped the tip of my nose with his finger and winked at me. Apparently he’d sensed a little bit of anxiety I’d felt as seeing the blood. 

I smiled at him and gave his back a little rub as he looked at the leg armor, leaning over a little to touch it. “Wow. That’s thick leather,” he commented before tapping the knee pads with his knuckles. “Solid, too.”

“But lightweight,” Ikora told him. “Pick them up.”

Cayde did, eyes widening. “Feel that, it’s like a feather.” He told me, handing them to me. I took them, also surprised at how light they felt.

“The boots are made of the same material. Strong, durable, but light,” Ikora added. “Perfect for a Hunter.”

“You are going to move so well in these,” I told him, handing them back to Cayde and he actually looked really interested to try them on and test them out.

“We’ll leave to you it,” Zavala said, giving a nod before he and Ikora stepped out. 

“Petra’s not gonna recognize me,” Cayde said, looking the armor over again. 

“Are you alright?” I asked him. “I keep getting this strange feeling of … hesitation?”

He looked over at me. “Oh, well, yeah. I mean, the armor I’m wearing is special. I’ve worn it … I don’t even know how many years now. But it’s been with me all through the Wilds and coming here, being a Vanguard.”

“It’s sentimental to you,” I nodded. “Not just the cloak.”

He nodded. “Yeah. But I know it’s only temporary. I’m not retiring it or anything. As long as I can wear the cloak, I’m fine.”

I was curious to ask him what exactly had happened that sparked the brotherly bond between him and Andal but I knew it was far too touchy a subject and he’d been through more than enough right now. Maybe another time if he ever seemed willing to talk about it. 

“You know, I think the cloak is going to go well with the armor,” I commented. “Want me to go get it while you start getting out of this?” I asked.

“Would you?” He asked, already toeing at his boots to get them off.

I nodded and went back out to get the cloak, lightly running my fingers over the old material. I smiled, wishing I’d had the chance to meet Andal. From what Cayde had been able to talk about, and what I’d heard of him through Ikora and Zavala, he was quite a nice guy. More subdued than Cayde, with even worse joke-telling ability. But he had a great heart. I could see why they’d become friends.

When I went back into the vault, Cayde was bent over, yanking the legs of his pants off over his feet, standing there in just his under armor and socks. I snickered, making him turn around when he heard me. “What?”

I shook my head. “The socks,” I said, unable to hide an amused smile.

Cayde looked down at his feet, wiggling his toes inside the white socks. “Hey, I feel the cold now, these babies help!”

“I didn’t even know you owned socks,” I said, coming over to him.

“I don’t,” he said. “They’re yours.”

I laughed, then hung Andal’s cloak up on the stand with the other armor before slipping my arms around him, pulling him close, and giving him a long, slow kiss. He softly moaned against my lips, melting into me and, when it gently ended, he blinked at me, a little surprised. “Did that warm you up better than my socks?” I purred.

“Oh yeah,” he uttered, nodding then chuckled. “I need to wear your socks more often if this is what it gets me.”

“You do look very cute in them, especially the way the toes stick up.”

He looked down between us at them and wiggled his toes again. “Well, they’re a bit big on me. I guess I have small feet,” he said, frowning. 

“You say that like it bothers you,” I said.

“No. Just makes me think it’s more likely yours must be huuuuuge,” he teased.

I gave him a playful shove and he snickered.

“Get your pants on, smallfoot,” I told him, giving his behind a smack.

“Ow!” He laughed, jumping and rubbing at his bottom as he grabbed the pants and pulled them on. “Oh!” He headed for the door as he buttoned the pants.

“Where you going?” I asked already having taken the chest armor off the stand.

“I drank all that tea,” he told me over his shoulder. “I’ll be back,” he said, disappearing out the door. 

I smirked and shook my head, setting the chest piece back on the stand then gathered up his boots and the one piece suit he wore under his leather chest armor and chaps. As I picked the suit up to fold it, I smiled at it and brought the collar to my face, breathing in the scent that lingered there. I could smell the mint and eucalyptus, along with the soft lemon and musk of the soap he used, but also years worth of other scents that, despite washings, had embedded themselves into the fibers. I could smell the dried grasses of the Wilds and smoke from campfires. The rich iron from the sands of Mars, and gunpowder from his weapons. There was also the earthy scent of the leather he wore and hints of spices from the ramen shops as well as just a touch of bourbon. It actually made my toes curl in my boots how masculine and spicy it was. I hugged the suit to my chest and closed my eyes, smiling, so damn grateful he was alive. I don’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t made it but I’m pretty sure I would have gone to a dark place. He really was my Light. In more ways than one. To see his face every day; to hear his voice and hold him in my arms … nothing compared. I loved him more than anything.

Arms silently went around me from behind, hugging me. I didn’t startle because I knew it was Cayde. I leaned back into the embrace and turned my face to the side of his as he rested his chin on my shoulder. “I’m here,” he whispered and I nodded. He had felt what I was feeling. Knew I was thinking about him and the prison. “You okay?” He murmured.

I smiled again and nodded. “Yeah.” I whispered. “You’re here.” I caressed his arms around my middle and he nuzzled just behind my ear kissing the back of my neck. My smile broadened and I turned my head, looking over my shoulder at him before reaching back, cupping his cheek in my hand. He smiled at me before closing his eyes and turning his face into my palm, kissing it as well. I let his suit drop to the floor and turned in his arms, holding his head in my hands as I kissed him.

“D-don’t we, uh …” he kissed me back. “Have … mmmm … Scorn to track down?” He murmured, not seeming to really care.

“We do,” I breathed, kissing him again. “But …” my fingers trailed along the mohawk that ran over the top of his head, “you totally started this.” I gave him more kisses.

“Did not,” he murmured back at me, sliding his hands over my sides. “You did. Shouldn’t have spanked me.”

I snickered against his lips. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, that was pretty hot,” he nodded before kissing along my jaw. I grinned and slipped my hands around him and slapped them against his rear. He yelped in surprise then laughed. My grin widened and he buried his face into the crux of my neck and shoulder, breathing me in, making a soft growling sound before kissing up along the side of my neck. I moaned, leaning my head back. I loved when he growled like that! It did such wonderful things to me!

He, of course, followed that with his tongue, slowly sliding it up over my jaw before very carefully nibbling on my earlobe. “Ooooh, I didn’t know you could do that,” I murmured.

“Mmmm. I just need to be careful,” he told me, his tongue tracing the outer edge of my ear before he softy blew cool air on it. 

I gasped in surprise. “Cayde …” Oooh, that was lovely! 

“Like that?” He asked. 

“Yes,” I breathed and lifted my head, looking at him. “And, before me, you hadn’t been with anyone in this lifetime?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him. “And you’re this good?”

“I’ve had two hundred years of fantasies, cheesy romance novels, and occasional bootleg porn,” he told me. I looked at him, shocked by that last one. He winked at me, then waggled his eyebrows, making me laugh, before completely ravaging me right there on the floor of the vault! 

 

“Now, don’t cut yourself on the knife this time,” I told Cayde as I secured the chest armor around him and made sure it was on him comfortably. 

“Yeah, but you’ll kiss it and make it all better, won’t you?” He asked, smirking. 

“Only after I smack you upside the head,” I playfully replied.

He chuckled and kissed my cheek. 

“Okay, all we have to get on you now is the cloak,” I said and eased Andal’s cloak off the stand, draping the clips over Cayde’s shoulder before hooking them to the clasps on the armor. He had tried the helmet on to make sure it fit properly, which it had, and had since taken it off. He’d put it on once we got back to the Shore. Now that he was in the rest of the armor and is cloak, I stepped back and looked him over. 

“Well? Is it me?” He asked, turning for me.

I shook my head. “Cayde …” Wow. “I know it’s function over form in this case but wow. You really look damn good in that.” I still preferred him in his classic armor but this set really did look good on him!

“Yeah?”

I nodded and led him over to one of the glass cases that was empty the light shining over head and dark interior of the case creating enough of a reflection in the glass for him to see himself all dressed. “Oh.” He actually sounded surprised. “That-that does look good,” he nodded. 

“No one is going to recognize you in this. Even with the cloak,” I told him. 

He turned again, watching his reflection in the mirror. “Now I match you,” he smiled, noting that now we were both wearing black armor.

“Yeah, you do,” I smiled back at him, standing next to him. He put his arm around my shoulders as we looked at ourselves standing together in the reflection then gave a nod. “Okay, partner. Let’s finish this,” he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go my lovelies! I do so enjoy just writing them together, chatting away. :) . More to come soon! Hope all who celebrate have a wonderful Christmas!  
> ~Ais


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR, ALL! :D

Araskes and Kaniks. 

The Trickster and the Mad Bomber. 

Both loved explosives and both got on my nerves in more ways than one throughout both missions to take them down. 

I’d kept to my word. I offered them each the option to surrender but, as I’d assumed, they didn’t take it. They were loyal to the Fanatic and Uldren. Even if it meant dying for them. 

Which they had. 

Both had laughed at us and both had met their ends, Cayde and I taking them and their Scorn armies out. Probably just as well. They were both dangerous to the point it was better they were gone. Especially Araskes with her plans to send rigged explosive engrams to the Last City. 

 

When Cayde and I transmatted back up to the ship, I flopped down in one of the seats, pulling my helmet off and rubbed at my temples, closing my eyes to the light. My ears were ringing and I had one hell of a headache, not to mention I felt like I just got trampled by a Cabal Centurion. 

I felt warm, now gloveless fingers gently slide up along the back of my neck and into my hair, trying to soothe away the pain with gentle caresses. Ghost had healed both Cayde and I of our injuries, but the aches and pains that lingered, depending on the severity of the injuries, could never be avoided. “Want some aspirin?” Cayde whispered, keeping his voice low.

I gave a little nod. I’d taken the brunt of the shocks from the explosions. I was a Titan. It’s what I did. And boy was I feeling it now. But I had no regrets. Things had gone as Zavala had said they would. I moved in, took the heavy fire and Cayde came right up behind me and picked them off while they were focused on me. We’d moved as one, almost leap-frogging though both hideouts, one of us in front doing one thing, the other coming up from behind to finish it. And, somehow, we just knew what the other was doing and going to do. It was almost poetic in the flow of it - like a dance similar to what we’d done back on Io. Strangely beautiful and deadly. And we worked together so well. Not just because we were best friends and lovers. No. It was the Titan and Hunter combination. It seemed to just meld us together into one being so perfectly. I was the wall that shielded him and took the heavy waves of attacks while knocking the enemies back, staggering them. And Cayde would leap into the air and turn them to ash with a quick flick of his wrists, Burning Blades raining down on them like Hellfire. 

It was actually glorious to watch him. Sure, he tended to use his canon more than his other abilities. The Golden Gun just suited him and his personality more and I knew he was missing his Ace of Spades. The other canon just didn’t feel the same in his hand which was why he was using the blades more. But it was still impressive. People greatly underestimated Cayde and what he could do. His outward posturing and goofing off belied his true skills. He really was a master at what he did and how he moved on a battlefield. In fact, his very name meant ‘Master Hunter’ according to old Russian origin. It really never ceased to amaze me, the man who liked to cuddle up with me and get close, bear his soul and have deep conversations; who was an incurable romantic and, a lot of the time, a big man-child, was actually quite deadly and formidable when he had to be. 

I smiled to myself just as I felt a hand lightly settle on my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see Cayde’s other hand in front of me holding a cup of water. I took it and he turned his palm to open his last two fingers and reveal a couple aspirins he’d been holding. “Thanks,” I said, taking them, popping them into my mouth and swallowing them with the water, rather grateful they worked on me and I didn’t have to deal with bad headaches the way Cayde did. 

As an Exo, he couldn’t swallow pills and have them do anything. They didn’t absorb into his system. Like other Exos, he had to inject a special fluid in the back of his neck that acted to numb the sensors in his head until the pain ebbed on its own. If the pain was bad enough, it was definitely better than nothing, but I understood his reluctance to use it unless he really needed it. I’d done it for him just once after a particularly bad fight he’d gotten into with some Cabal who, even after a couple months, were still holding onto a sector of the City after Ghaul's defeat. Even though their leader was dead, they were still determined to stand their ground and one of them had managed to get the upper hand on Cayde and hit him - _hard_ \- with its shield, sending him flying back into a building and knocking his head so hard, it actually killed him from the force. The next day, he was at his workstation in the Hanger and really didn’t look well. Even for an Exo, I could tell he was in pain but he’d waved me off when I asked, saying he was fine. Sundance eventually came over to me after a while and told me he really wasn’t okay and that the stuff the doctors in the infirmary had given him had worn off and he needed to take more but wouldn’t. When I went back over to him, he was trying to focus on the maps of the City and lay out plans to get the rest of the Cabal out. I saw he was closing his eyes a lot and just … his posture told me he was hurting a lot more than he was letting on. I finally got him to tell me what exactly was wrong and what he needed to do to make the pain stop. When I asked him why he didn’t do it if it was that bad, he confessed that he really didn’t like needles and it was just difficult to do it on himself. After gently chiding him for at least not taking it to the infirmary to have done again, I had him give me the kit with the needles and medication in it and led him back to my apartment. He actually had his eyes closed most of the walk there, holding my hand as I led him along. It was the first time he’d actually come into my apartment since we’d gotten on more friendly terms. We’d already started sitting together in the Hanger and chatting, sharing ramen and cups of coffee. And he’d been by the apartment a few times. But he’d never really come in before this time. He wasn’t registering anything that was really going on anyway, not with how bad he was feeling, so I’d just brought him in and got his cloak and chest piece off and had him sit on the couch, then Sundance directed me in what to do. It hadn’t been anything more than drawing in a measurement of clear fluid from one of the bottles and injecting it right where the hard metal of his skull and the soft silicone of his skin met. Ghost even appeared and helped, talking to Cayde about the maps, and what he’d been planning for the next mission to clear out more of the Cabal. Cayde got so focused on the plans he didn’t even realize I’d given him the shot until it started working. He’d looked over his shoulder at me in surprise, reaching back and laying his hand over the spot, rubbing it. I smiled at him, then got him to lay down while I tugged his boots off and coved him with a blanket, telling him he was officially taking the rest of the day off. To my surprise, he didn’t fight me on that and even ended up sleeping for hours after, now that he felt better. 

I smiled to myself at that memory. Never would have guessed that would be the first of many times Cayde would sleep on that couch. It was also the start of watching old world films together and nights he’d stop in with groceries from the market and make dinner. Yes, Cayde can cook and is very good at it, actually. All those years in the Wilds by the campfire had seen to that. It also kicked off him keeping some things in the apartment and even buying civilian clothes to wear. He’d never owned any before staying with me. But evenings on the couch or coming over to cook, they were more comfortable than staying in his armor all the time, even if he’d stripped off the heavy stuff. It was funny to think a bad headache was what sparked all the other things to happen. 

I felt a tug on my right shoulder pad and got pulled out of the memory to see Cayde leaning around the back of the chair. “Hey, you alright?” He asked. “You look a little spacey.”

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Was just thinking about that time you had that really bad headache and I gave you the shot for it.”

“Oh?” He asked, eyebrows rising. “Glad you don’t have to do that, hm?” 

“Well, yeah, but I was more thinking how it led to you staying at the apartment.” 

“Oooh,” he softly chuckled then nodded. “Yeah, it did, didn’t it?”

I smiled and nodded back, then closed my eyes for a moment. It was going to take a little while for the aspirin to kick in. Hopefully it’d make the ringing go away, too.

“You took really good care of me that day. And have ever since,” he affectionately said then leaned closer to me. “Now it’s my turn. Come on,” he told me, tugging on my shoulder pad again. “Out of the armor.”

“Hmm? Out of the armor?” I glanced up at him to see him step back and start unclipping his cloak. 

“Mmm hm,” he softly said, nodding. "Those two were rough on you and we’ve been at this all day. Vahn is next on the list. We’re not gonna manage him without some rest. Trust me. They ain’t goin’ anywhere. They know they’re being hunted now. Running will divert their plans and take them away from Uldren. They won’t do that. They’ll assume their best bet is to hunker down and try to fight us off on their turf.”

I nodded at the logic there, then finished off my water while I watched him strip off his armor. I saw him notice I was watching him and I winked at him, feeling a little twinge of confidence as well as flattery radiate off of him making my smile broaden. Exo or human, didn’t matter. He was a good looking man.

I stood and set my cup down, reaching around to my right to unclip my armor and winced, a painful groan escaping. Ooh, that side was still sore, too. That was where I’d taken a good hit from one of the engrams that had rolled down a pathway at me and I didn’t see it in time, then got nailed by one of Kaniks’ fire bombs he hurled at me. “Here,” I heard Cayde murmur, then felt his hands ease mine away as he took over getting my armor off for me. I stood there, watching him with tired eyes and a warm smile, balancing myself against the back of the pilots chair as he got everything unclipped then started easing it all off. He grunted a little at the weight of the shoulder pads once they were free and I smirked. “How do you move in these?” He asked, sounding stunned, but keeping his voice low.

“I’m a Titan, handsome. We’re built for it,” I murmured as he placed one set of the arm armor on the floor, followed by the other, then got the rest of my chest armor undone and off. “I know but it still amazes me,” he said, then crouched in front of me and got my leg armor off, smirking up at me as he used it as an excuse to caress my thighs, even leaning forward, placing a soft kiss to my hip. I set my hand on top of his head and lovingly pet him as he worked, getting the last of the armor off, save my boots. He then stood and slipped his arms around me and eased me into a little hug, swaying slowly with me in a silent but comforting little dance, minding my sore side. I curled my arms under his and around the backs of his shoulders as I pressed my cheek to his, enjoying the soothing moment and the warmth, suddenly feeling very tired. 

“You were incredible out there,” he whispered to me.

I smiled. “So were you,” I whispered back. “I loved watching you. The way you moved, the way you taunted them. The way you used your gun,” I purred, grinning, unable to help the double entendre. 

He softly chuckled and let his hands slide a little lower on my back pulling me into him a little more. “You did, hm?”

“Mmm hmm. But I think you knew that,” I smiled, moving my hand to his face, caressing his cheek.

“I did,” he nodded, leaning into the caress, despite being an Exo, his features clearly amused. He gave me a kiss then surprised me when he bent down, slipping an arm under the backs of my legs, gently scooping me up in his arms.

I looked at him, absolutely stunned and he chuckled and nuzzled me, then carried me to the bunk and settled me down. With his lithe build, it was easy to forget how strong he really was. “What are you doing?” I asked, watching as he sat at the end of the bed and unclipped and slid my boots off.

“Like I said, it’s my turn to take care of you,” he murmured, then pulled my feet up into his lap, and started giving them a wonderfully soothing massage. I softly moaned, my whole body relaxing. He was so good at the foot massages! I closed my eyes, hearing him say something, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what it was. Everything slowly faded and I drifted, the pain in my head and body easing away until all I felt was his hands.

 

When I woke up, the first thing that registered was the light scent of mint with a subtle note of lemon, followed by spicy warmth and a steady cooing purr that was Cayde’s snoring. As I opened my eyes, I realized both Cayde and I were laying on our sides, facing each other, and he was wrapped around me, my face pressed into his chest. I smiled and moved my arm more securely around his middle, hugging him closer to me, lightly rubbing his back. He made a little noise and shifted a bit in his sleep, his own arm and leg curling over me more tightly before he settled again.

The cool blue-white light of Ghost’s shell appeared behind Cayde and I saw him float up over us, giving a little bob in greeting. “You’ve both been asleep for about five hours,” he quietly told me.

“We have?” I whispered. It seemed like I’d just blinked, it had been so fast. I must have really been tired. Ghost bobbed again in an affirmative nod. “I suppose wanting to stay just like this with him would be wonderful but irresponsible, hm?” I asked Ghost.

“You do look … very content,” he admitted, “but, yes. If we want to go after them, you should get up.”

I nodded, knowing he was right, and rubbed Cayde’s side. “Cayde?” I murmured.

He grunted, curling around me more.

I smiled and pet his hip. “Cayde? We need to get up,” I tried again.

This time he groaned. “Eeh, fuck off, Andal, go bug Shiro.”

I frowned wondering if he was just dreaming, or if he’d lost where he was again. “Cayde, it’s Aislin. You need to wake up, sweetheart,” I said, giving his hip a gentle shake.

He snorted and blinked his eyes open, glancing down at me, startling for a second like he wasn’t sure who I was and where I’d come from. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” I gently told him, caressing his side. He definitely didn’t know where he was or who I was. “It’s Aislin. Remember? You’re on the ship. We’re at the Tangled Shore.” Usually I asked him who I was and where he was, but I knew he didn’t know either this time. I could see it on his face and also feel it. It was the first time I felt that lost and confused feeling he got and it really was scary. It only made me feel more for him. Both sad he went through this as well as angry at Clovis Bray for causing this with all the memory wipes they put him through. “You’re alright. You’re safe,” I assured. He kept looking at me strangely, moving his arm and backing up a bit, frowning. “It’s Aislin,” I said again. “Tangled Shore. We’re after the Barons,” I said, trying to help pull him back.

It took a few seconds but I suddenly felt him relax as it came back and the frightened and confused feelings gave way to relief. He blinked. “Ais? Wh-what happened?” He looked over his shoulder at Ghost then back at me. 

“You went away for a bit. I think you … you were back with Andal and Shiro,” I gently said.

“I was?” He asked, sounding surprised, which relieved me. I honestly didn’t always know when saying Andal’s name would trigger a bad memory. “How do you know? Did I say something?”

“Yeah, I,” I chuckled, “I tired to wake you and you said: ‘Fuck off, Andal, go bug Shiro.’.”

He blinked then laughed. “Yup. That sounds about right.”

I snorted. “You know, I was serious when I said you should invite Shiro to the City and spend a day or a weekend with him. I bet you two would have a nice time.”

“Oh, I plan to,” Cayde nodded. “When you were talking earlier about spending time with everyone, I remembered that. And, yeah. I haven’t hung out with him in a long time. Even when we talk over the comms, it’s never the same as it usedta be. I miss it. Think he does, too.”

I rubbed his chest and gave him a kiss, nodding and he smiled at me and kissed me back then rolled over a bit, looking up at Ghost. “Time to get up, huh?”

Ghost bobbed. “I hated to wake you but yes.”

“You didn’t hate it. You enjoy annoying me,” Cayde teased, sitting up. 

“If I wanted to annoy you, Cayde, I’d have set off the alarms on the ship and given you a heat attack,” Ghost pointed out. “The only reason I didn’t was not wanting to aggravate Aislin’s headache.”

“So, you’re sayin’, if she wasn’t here, you’d have set off the alarms? I thought we were bonding?” Cayde asked, feigning hurt.

“Give me a couple more days and we’ll see,” Ghost said, then floated off. 

“He loves me,” Cayde nodded, then glanced down at me. “He-he does, right? Love me?”

I chuckled and pulled him back down for another hug and kiss.

 

We eventually forced ourselves to reluctantly get out of the bed and get suited back up, helping each other into our armor, both of us seeming to enjoy that little routine. As I finished clipping Cayde’s cloak back over his shoulders I looked at him.

“I can get a bit of a sense how you’re feeling with this one but … how are you doing? Really?” I asked him, knowing who we were going after next.

He looked at me. “The real, honest truth?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded, setting my palm over his heart.

He looked down for a moment and laid his own hand on top of mine, sighed, then looked back up at me. “More than anything, I’m worried. Ais … This Vahn character … there’s no negotiating with him. I’m not sayin’ that cause of what happened to me. I’m sayin’ it knowing what he’s capable of and has done before. Dude’s sick. Seriously. To keep him alive … it’s too big a risk. Uldren … Uldren I’m puttin’ him aside right now,” he said, waving his hand and shaking his head. “Don’t even wanna think about that right now. But these guys? The higher up we go the worse they get. Shoulda taken’ ‘em out with the others the first time but we didn’t.” 

“There were more?” I asked.

“Oh yeah,” Cayde nodded. “Quite a few, actually. Me and my Six took out as many as we could. These guys are what was left.”

“Why didn’t you kill these ones, too?” I asked.

Cayde sighed and I sensed … regret, maybe? It was hard to pin down exactly what it was he was feeling. I caressed his arms and tilted my head down to look at his eyes and get him to look at me. “They decimated the Reef. Tortured and killed a lot of people. Death was too good for ‘em then,” he quietly told me, looking down again, like he hated saying it out loud. “Variks wanted ‘em alive. So did Petra. So I did what they asked me to and brought ‘em back alive.”

I slowly nodded, understanding. The Barons and Uldren, regardless of the reason or reasons, had destroyed the Reef and killed so many people. Petra wanted vengeance for that and Variks … I wasn’t sure of his reasons, but I’m sure he had some. He was the Warden of the Prison. I wasn’t so naive to think he didn’t have something to do with this on a more personal level. And Cayde … he’d been hired to bring them in. It sounded just like the stuff from his journals that his other selves had written about. The stuff with Clovis Bray. He was doing the dirty work for someone else. He was good at it, too. It was what he knew how to do. Didn’t mean he always liked it deep down. But he could do it. And, likely, he reasoned that it would put an end to others getting hurt. The bad guys were taken care of and locked up. So why not? But I could feel that there was something about it that was bothering him. I wasn’t sure what it was, exactly, but the way he kept looking down and averting my eyes told me he really didn’t want to get into it right now.

“Hey,” I whispered, slipping my finger under his chin, gently getting him to look at me. When he finally did, the look on his face was hesitant and a little guarded and I knew it wasn’t because he didn’t want me to know, it was because he just didn’t want to think about that part of himself. I softly smiled at him in understanding and caressed his cheeks then hugged him. “It’s alright,” I assured him. “You don’t have to say anything,” I told him, laying my hand on the back of his head. I felt the tension in his body ease.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Sometimes, I swore it was like he was two people. The old him that was a mix of all the other hims from the other lives, and new him - the Six - the man he was now, trying to bury the darker parts of himself from long ago. I knew, though, deep down, he was one man. A mix of the light and the dark parts with a good heart, despite the things he’d done. I didn’t know of everything any more than he did. I just knew what he remembered and what he’d written about. And I knew there were some dark things. But I also knew him. I knew his heart. Truly bad men didn’t have regrets. They didn’t have nightmares and feel remorse for things - even things they weren’t sure they’d done. Cayde did. And he was doing his best to make up for it in this life by doing good. Going after the Barons and avenging the people of the Reef and others who’s paths they’d crossed and hurt was something he felt he needed to do because it was right to him. It was the link he put with that and the old him working for Clovis Bray that was bothering him. Brought back those feelings and worries of having done really bad things to innocent people in one of those lives.

I felt him shift and loosened my arms around him, letting him ease back. He looked at me for a moment then kissed my cheek before I noticed his posture and expression change. He was tucking the bad stuff away and focusing on what lay ahead rather than behind. He took a breath and let it out. “Well, ya ready?” He asked.

I gave him a little smile and nodded. “Ready.”

 

When we got to The Cobble, off of Soriks’ Cut, we ended up not only having to fight off Scorn but also had to free a few Servitors of Spider’s they’d captured and put in cages. “Seems he’s still up to his old M.O.,” Cayde said as we got the last one free. 

“What M.O.?” I asked.

“Vahn, like a few of ‘em - the Barons - are angry about being starved. Y’know how Fallen are different sizes, right?” Cyade asked and I nodded. “Well, it all depends on how much ether they get which, y’know, comes from the Servitors.”

“So they aren’t born different classes and types, they’re all the same and it just depends on how much ether they get? That determines how big they get?” I asked.

Cayde nodded. “Yeah, see … From what I’ve learned over the years, they used to be a great race. They were the ones the Traveler was with before coming here, actually.”

“I heard that,” I nodded.

“Right, so, whatever happened - either the Darkness coming and losing the Traveler, infighting, civil wars - whatever - it left ‘em as they are now. Anyway, the way things are set up in their society - from what I learned from Variks - is those who are deemed more worthy get greater rations of ether which makes them grow and get stronger. That’s why the higher up the ladder you go in power, the bigger the Fallen. These guys all had something bad happen to ‘em that made them turn away from their society and want things done different. Either they were starved, ended up mixed up with the Hive, were cast out, you name it. They all have chips on their shoulders and all hate depending on Servitors for ether. Vahn especially. He siphons ether directly from the Servitors he captures to give to the other Barons.”

“That’s why they’re all so big?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yup. But, on top of that, he’s a sadist. Seriously. Dude’s sick. He _likes_ hurting people. Like, genuinely enjoys it.” He pointed to the now empty cages the Servitors had been in. “Watching them suffer? That was a joy for him.”

I shook my head. I had no love for any Servitors, but this was just wrong. Even if they were an enemy. I checked my rifle and Ghost brought my Sparrow up. “Let’s go put a stop to this,” I told Cayde and got on the Sparrow, Cayde getting on behind me, and followed the trail Ghost had on him to Thieves Landing.

 

Once we reached Thieves Landing, we found ourselves fighting off several waves of Scorn, each new group that materialized from the Dark Ether seeming more crazed and erratic than the last. They’d not only attack, but be brutal about it, as if they had no control over themselves at all or any care if they died. I don’t know how Cayde and I managed but we finally pushed them back to the point they retreated. I noticed there was another one of Spider’s Servitors caged near the entrance to one of the structures built into the asteroid. I went over to free it when all around me became suddenly engulfed in Dark Ether and the cage and Servitor in front of me was smashed as I was knocked back and fell over a few crates.

“Ais! He’s right there! Get outta there!” I heard Cayde yell over the comm. I shook my head as I got on my hands and knees, and looked up at what hit me to see a towering, lanky Fallen, disfigured and paled from his transformation into a Scorn. He was standing over me with tattered and dirty gray rags wrapped around his body, a strange spiked headdress, and rattling chains looped about his person attached to a massive flaming spiked cauldron. It and his body were alight with fire and he let out a deafening, gnarled roar before stomping the platform, the force of it bouncing me and knocking me back even further, causing me to roll down the steps! 

I felt hands under my arms as Cayde helped me to my feet. “Holy shit,” I uttered, my eyes wide.

“Yup,” Cayde nodded and pulled out his canon, firing at Vahn, his other arm around me as he quickly backed us up. 

This was the thing that put Cayde through the wall?! I’d never seen anything quite like him. There was something about this guy that put everything off. A feeling of dread and … well, actual horror. I’d gone up against bigger and badder, but this guy … I didn’t have to be in his presence for more than a few moments to know he was on a different playing field than the other baddies I’d faced. My blood ran cold when facing this guy. 

The loud banging of Cayde’s canon and the roars of anger from Vahn finally snapped me into action just as he started to charge us, and damn if he couldn’t move. He was fast. Very fast. And was swinging the fiery cauldron. “Run,” Cayde told me and gave me a shove back. “Now!” He was right behind me as we hurried for a small bridge that led up off the main path into a building. We both scurried under it just as Vahn came up behind us and slammed the cauldron down, a line of flames chasing right after us under the bridge. Cayde grabbed me and yanked me to the side with him, the fire just missing my heels as it rushed past us. Vahn roared in frustrated anger and Cayde darted out the other side and stepped up on the bridge and fired at him again as I joined him, tossing a grenade. It exploded and knocked Vahn back. He looked up at us from where we were on the bridge and roared again then disappeared in a bright cloud of ether.

“I’ve got a lock on him. He’s heading for the Slums,” Ghost told us and I saw the radar pop up on my screen. Cayde reloaded his canon and we both took off running, following the reading. I punched out a Shank that had come out of hiding on the platform Vahn appeared on, sending it into broken pieces as we made our way inside the building beyond.

When we got inside, we were in the area known as Quitter’s Well and it seemed there was already a fight going on between Spider’s Servitors and the Scorn. Two Servitors were fighting off Scorn who were swinging maces at them. “Looks like they could use some help,” Cayde said and shot a few Scorn as we went further in. One of the Scorn was bigger than the others as was wilding flaming Maces like torches, and charged us, swinging them. Cayde jumped back as I ducked then punched, disorienting it just as Cayde unloaded a few rounds into its head, putting it down. That’s when we noticed the Servitors had moved further inside, going after more Scorn. We followed, running into a large group of Scorn and more of the bigger ones with flaming maces. I ended up using the auto rifle instead of the scout, there were just too many coming at us, even with help from the Servitors.

By the time we managed to fight the last of them off, both Cayde and I were pretty banged up and we got ourselves into one of the side rooms where Ghost healed us. “You alright?” Cayde asked. 

I nodded. “Yeah, you?”

He nodded, too. 

“Is this what happened in the prison?” I asked. “Swarming like this?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. 

I could feel some anxiousness within him but he was forcing it down. 

“Ya ready?” He asked as he checked his canon and reloaded. 

I put a new clip into my rifle and nodded and we headed even deeper into the structure, the ping on the radar taking us off to the right through a doorway that lead into a very dark and eerie place. 

“Dark, creepy, cold. Cliché broken light blinking about to give out. I think we saw this movie once, didn’t we?” Cayde asked as we carefully made our way inside and up some stairs toward a dimly lit archway. 

“We’ve seen a few, sweetheart, you’ll have to narrow it down for me,” I said, watching the corners for any of those little shits that suddenly ran out and exploded.

“You know the one? With the alien?” Cayde said, peering off to the right as he started heading up the stairs with me. “They were on the ship and the things came out of the eggs and jumped on that dude’s face then a baby alien burst outta his chest.”

“You mean the movie actually called ‘Alien’? With Ripley?”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s the one. Doesn’t this sorta remind you of that? Like any one of these pipes could be the alien’s head like at the end of the film?” He asked.

I looked around at the pipes then sighed. “Cayde … Sweetheart … Love of my life?”

“Yeeeeah?” He asked.

“Shut up.”

He snickered.

I knew what he was doing. He was trying to make light, like he always did when things got too serious, too scary, and generally too much of anything. And I appreciated it. I knew he couldn’t see me smiling, but I’m sure he felt my amusement. 

As we got to the top of the steps, we saw fire burning near a couple caged Servitors. These ones, though, were beyond any help. They’d been siphoned and were near death, stripped of anything of value. I actually felt bad.

Cayde sighed. “We can’t help them,” he gently told me. “It’s too late,” he added and I nodded and kept moving.

We spotted a few Scorn at the end of another area just by a doorway, these ones holding large shields. I took out my scout rifle and aimed for their heads managing to get two while the others charged. Cayde aimed for their legs forcing them to drop their shields, then their heads, taking them out. I noticed, up above, secured in nets, were more Servitors, these ones drained and stripped like the others, beyond saving. I shook my head. “He enjoys them being like that, doesn’t he? These are like trophies to him?”

Cayde nodded, looking up at them, too. “Yeah.” He set his hand on my shoulder, drawing my attention away from the Servitors and into a room off the walkway where we saw the silhouettes of more cages with firelight behind them. Cayde gave a nod toward it and I followed him.

Stepping inside, there were more of the broken down Servitors in cages. The area was old and rusted, with water dripping from a few places above and looped chains dangling and clattering overhead. Fires burned in small groupings in various odd places, giving off light but also filling the area with smoky air. It was like a dungeon and I shivered at the lonely and depressing vibe it gave off. “Yeah, I know,” Cayde whispered to me at my reaction. “I feel it, too.”

There were more steps in front of us, these ones going down. We followed them until we spotted some headless Scorn, about six feet tall, wielding smaller versions of the flaming cauldron Vahn carried. And then, that was when Cayde spotted a large headless Scorn, like the one I’d encountered in the prison that looked like it could be a Hive ogre. “Well, that’s a new one on me,” he said, just as it roared and started blasting Arc energy at us. We scurried backward and used the cages and corner of the wall for cover. “Gonna need something bigger,” he said as he looked down at his canon. 

“Here,” I said, handing him my machine gun offering to take the canon. 

“Oh-ho! That’s more like it!” Cayde said, then, without waiting for me to give cover fire, jumped out and started firing it at the ogre-like Scorn. With his fire focused on him, that left Cyade open to getting hit by the other Scorn and, whatever they were firing, it was not only strong, but Solar based. Cayde yelped and staggered when he got hit by it and I grabbed him and pulled him back so Ghost could heal him. 

“Okay, that hurt,” Cayde winced, holding his side. I saw blood oozing from between his fingers and Ghost quickly healed the injury and the armor, Cayde sighing with relief. 

“Wait for me next time, okay?” I gently chided. “Some of them have shields. I’ll take them out first so you’re clear, then you come up behind me and get the big guy as I work my way around the corner, alright?” I said, and handed him the gun back before readying his canon to use. 

“Yeah, good idea,” he nodded, then waited for me to duck down by the cages and start firing on the other Scorn closest to us, getting them out of the way, before doing like I said and coming up behind me, opening fire once again on the Arc-wielding ogre Scorn while I moved to get the other group off to the left.

Once the area was clear and we made our way through it, I looked around. “Traveler,” I uttered, seeing large spears grouped together in metal holders with needle - like points at the ends and thorny spikes along the sides. I Iooked up to see more Servitor cages, some actively on fire, with dead Servitors inside, consumed by the flames. These were things the Eliksni once revered as gods. To do something like this … “Sick doesn’t begin to cover it,” I said of Vahn aloud, shaking my head.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement from up a ramp and noticed several of the smaller cauldron - wielding Scorn charging down toward us. “I got ‘em,” I told Cayde and took aim with his canon, firing at the cauldrons, making them explode and taking them all out as they came at us.

“Okay, that far away and you hit the cauldrons with the canon while they were running? I’m impressed!” Cayde nodded. 

“I had a good teacher,” I smiled, referring to him and the sniper skills he would coach me through over the comm in my early days. 

I felt a wave of pride come off him. “Awww, love you, too, kiddo,” he cooed and gave my shoulder a little affectionate bump with his own. “Aaand, gonna bet we need to go right where they came from, too,” he nodded.

“That’s what the tracker shows,” I confirmed. 

“Trade ya,” Cayde said, handing me back the machine gun. “It was fun, but I ain’t no Titan. That thing gets heavy.” I smirked and took the gun, handing him back his canon before we headed up the fire-laden ramp.

When we got to the top, the area closed off to a doorway leading into a darkened room with yet more cages and more dead or dying Servitors. In the center of the room there was a stack of cages five high, the bottom cage engulfed in flames.

Just as we crossed the threshold, Vahn appeared from a burst of ether, right by the fire, lowly growling at us as he immediately charged. Cayde and I both, without even thinking, jumped in the same direction, getting out of the way, before Vahn swung the cauldron around right where we’d been standing! I pulled the clip back on the machine gun and fired at him, the loud ring of Caydes canon just over my right shoulder. Vahn roared and slammed the cauldron down, causing a line of fire along the floor in front of us then disappeared into the ether as dozens of Scorn came out of nowhere all around us and attacked. Cayde leapt back up into the air, glowing with fire, and sent blades down on them as I got out of the way, shooting some Scorn that appeared just below him, clearing him a spot to land. By the time his feet touched the floor, they were nothing but headless bodies, Dark Ether wafting from their necks. 

Just as Cayde gave me a thumbs-up, Vahn appeared again, this time right beside us and Cayde quickly pushed me out of the way. As the cauldron swung, he flipped his body up and back, but one of the spikes clipped his thigh mid-air. He hissed as he landed, staggering, and slammed into the wall with a grunt.

I gasped and wanted to run to him, but Vahn was between us and now had his sights on me. I had no choice but to run and slide behind a stack of cages as the cauldron came down hard on the floor, just missing me. He roared again, already coming right up on me. Damn, the son-of-a-bitch was fast! I scurried to my feet and jumped, twisting, tossing a grenade at him. It exploded and he howled in rage, bringing an arm up to his face, rubbing at his eyes.

I used the opportunity to look for Cayde but didn’t see him anywhere. I was worried and knew he was injured, but also that, somehow, he was okay. More Scorn appeared all around me, many welding cauldrons. There was no way I could take them on by myself with just the gun, so I jumped into the air, flames surrounding me, my hammer forming in my hands, and slammed myself down into the middle of them, rattling the whole room and turning all the Scorn around me to ash as a fiery tornado engulfed more further away. As others not taken by the fire rushed me from behind, I swung the hammer around, cracking their skulls, smashing them into the side of the wall with a loud crash, their bodies dropping limply to the floor. More Scorn, deciding it best to keep their distance, were firing their weapons at me and I felt the icy burn of the Dark Void Light they were using as it radiated through my armor. I was taking damage, but not quite enough to fully injure me. Still, I knew it wouldn’t hold up for long, nor would my hammer. 

Vahn appeared once again, right in front of me this time, and roared at me, readying his cauldron to swing at me. I braced myself for it just before two hands grabbed at my hammer. I startled, my head quickly twisting to the side to see Cayde there, taking my hammer from me just before he rushed up to Vahn and swung it at him, hitting him right in his side. There was a loud crack and Vahn let out a screeching howl of pain, dropping the cauldron, his arm going limp. Cayde had broken it with the hammer. Not only that, Vahn’s arm and side were both red and blistering from the fire. Cayde didn’t give him a chance to regain his footing and swung again, sending Vahn into the wall with a shuddering crash. “HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?!” Cayde practically screamed at him. Vahn’s body slumped and slid down to the floor, leaning against the wall, the metal dented in from the force. He turned his head, purple-black blood seeping out of his mouth between sharp teeth and dribbling down his chin. He snarled at Cayde, then managed to utter something in Eliksni at him, his tone nasty and biting.

“Yeah, same to your mother!” Cayde hissed back, then swung one last time, ending Vahn, the Baron’s body burning brightly before turning to ash just as my hammer faded form Cayde’s hands.

Cayde stumbled backward, almost falling down and I caught him. “I got you,” I told him, getting his arm over my shoulders.

A couple high-ranking Scorn with Solar shields suddenly came out of nowhere near Vahn’s body and charged, firing at us.

“Seriously?!” Cayde asked, pulling his gun, still holding onto me, and took out the one on the left while I managed to take the one out on the right.

When they fell, Cayde let out a sigh of relief, slumping against me. “Is that it? Anyone else wanna go?” He said, looking around. When nothing else appeared he nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” 

I couldn’t help a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. Even injured, he couldn’t help himself. “Ghost-”

“No, no,” Cayde quickly said. “Not here. Let’s get somewhere safe first,” he told me and I nodded, helping him walk out of the room. As we headed out, we noticed two cages with Servitors still alive and, mostly, unharmed. We got them open, freeing them, allowing them to transmat away with mumbled electrical noises of what I assumed - and hoped - were thanks. 

“Well, least those two made it,” Cayde said with a little nod and I nodded, too.

 

After getting to an open area within another part of the structure, Ghost was able to get a signal to the ship and transmitted us out. Once we were safely aboard, I brought Cayde over to the pilots seat and helped him sit down, Ghost coming out and healing him. Cayde pulled his helmet off and dropped his head back, sighing, closing his eyes. “Thanks little buddy,” he uttered then opened his eyes and looked at me. “Four more to go.” 

I nodded, taking my own helmet off then crouched down beside him, laying my hand on top of his. “You okay?”

“Ask me after Uldren?” He offered.

I could feel he really needed a hug right now and I stood letting him put his arms around me, pressing his face into the flexible armor at my stomach. I caressed the top of his head, my fingers combing along the ridge of his mohawk as if it were hair. “You know it was, um … it was really, _really_ sexy, the way you took my hammer like that.”

He softly chuckled.

“I didn’t know one Guardian could do that with another’s Light generated weapon,” I said.

“We’re one, right?” Cayde asked. “I took a gamble and it paid off,” he told me.

I smiled, my left hand moving down to his back, rubbing it as I leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “Does this mean I get to hold your big gun next time?” I whispered.

He sputtered and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing these parts, going up against the Barons and using gameplay, is hard. It requires changing some things around to work Cayde into it so please bear with me if I take a bit longer, wanting to do it right. But I am working on them and will get stuff out as quickly as I can! :) . Glad you all still seem to be enjoying the story! More soon!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little in between bosses bit that I wanted to post for you all while I work on the next part so you weren't waiting too long for something. Enjoy! :D

Cayde was sitting at the open fold-away table in the back of the ship, looking at a tablet, the map Spider had given me laid out in front of him while he read over a file from the prison on Hiraks, the Mindbender. He’d shown me where we were going next, able to make out the Eliksni title on the map within the Jetsam of Saturn. After dealing with Vahn, though, I determined a little break was in order, not just to physically and mentally rest, but also to get some food. I knew tracking Hiraks was likely going to lead us into the Ascendant Realm and, after having been there a few times over the years, I knew making sure to eat first was best. The Realm was cold and draining and, even if Cayde was an Exo, it was a good idea to have something in his stomach.

While Cayde flipped through the files, Ghost hovered just beside his head, looking them over as well, back end twitching as he took in the information. I set a fresh hot cup of coffee down in front of Cayde, petting his shoulder to let him know it was there, and he smiled up at me and thanked me as I went back into the small makeshift kitchenette. I rarely used this ship, since it was meant for prolonged trips away from Earth and was, basically, a mini flying apartment in the back. I was trying to remember how things worked on it. As long as we had coffee, though, we were both happy. And the hotplate made it so I could also boil water for some instant ramen bowls from the rations stash. 

“Well, it’s not the Spicy Ramen by any means,” I told him, bringing a bowl over, “but still good. Just let it sit for a minute,” I said, setting the bowl in front of him.

He glanced at the bowl then up at me. “Not really all that hungry,” he confessed, frowning. For him to turn down ramen, even instant, only confirmed what I already knew: He was apprehensive about this particular Baron.

“I know,” I gently said, nodding. “But try, sweetheart, okay? You’re going to need it. Even if your body doesn’t process the food, just the feeling of it being there will help.”

He nodded then went back to looking at the tablet while I got a bowl of my own. 

“I know I’ve asked before but … can you tell me about the Ascendant Realm again?” Cayde asked me, setting the tablet down and pulling his bowl in front of himself, stirring the noodles to try and help them soften quicker. Ghost glanced over at me.

I brought my own bowl over to the table with a cup of coffee and sat, nodding. “It’s dark and cold,” I said. “Seemingly endless. Things echo, like you’re in a vast canyon, and there’s a constant wind blowing. Everything looks like, um … like you’re in the negative of a photograph. The ground is often broken and chipped away in places with nothing below you, so you need to be careful where you step. Some things are just randomly floating, suspended in the air. If you’re not in a Throne World, the Plane is sort of like the negative of wherever you crossed over.” It was hard to describe. “Things will be fragmented. Even upside down in places. If there are trees, they usually look dead.” I shook my head. “No leaves.” I leaned over the table a little, and reached across, setting my hand on top of his. “There’s an ebb about the place. A vibration that you’ll feel deep down. Like tremors in your soul from the Darkness. I can’t explain it better than that with words. You’ll just … you’ll feel it.”

He turned his hand over, curling his fingers around mine, caressing the backs of them with the pad of his thumb and nodded as he looked down at his bowl, giving the noodles another stir before looking back up at me. “I remember you had nightmares for a long time after coming back,” he quietly recalled. It wasn’t the first time I’d told him about the Ascendant Realm, but it had been a long time since I’d spoken of it.

I nodded. “Yeah. Like I said, there’s a feel about that place that …” I shook my head. “It unsettles you. It’s not really what you see … it’s the feeling that comes back with you.”

“Right …” he nodded and sighed, squeezing my hand and I could feel the hesitation and nervousness in him. 

“You don’t have to go in there with me if you don’t want to,” I assured him. I was pretty sure he was thinking about that old journal entry where another him encountered the Darkness. He’d written about boiling shadows and tendrils of pain consuming him in a ruined world. We’d both surmised it was at the time of the Collapse when the Traveler had sacrificed itself to save humanity. Cayde had re-read that entry many times trying to recall the memory but nothing ever came to him. What was written was all he knew of a moment in a life he couldn’t even recall. He did have nightmares of it sometimes, though. He’d told me it was like he was watching himself but the self he was seeing was a man he didn’t even know from a moment that was long lost to him.

“If you go, I go,” he said. “You can’t protect me from everything, Ais,” he gently told me. “I know you want to - that you love me and think I’ve been through more than enough in the last couple-a days - but you can’t. And I don’t want you to protect me from this. I want to see it.” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. “It’s the curious Hunter in me. I’ll be alright,” he assured. “Trust me.”

I smiled and nodded. “Have I been that obvious?” I asked.

“Trynna protect me?” Cayde asked, eyebrows rising. “Baby, short of laying yourself over me to take gunfire - Scratch that, actually you sort of did that on Io - yeah,” he nodded, softly chuckling. “Not that I don’t appreciate it. I really do. I’ve never had that before and it’s a wonderful feeling to know you got my back. And, trust me, after years and years of dong this, I know there are gonna be some rough nights later and I’ll need you.” He eased the bowl aside so he could wrap both his hands around mine. “And I know, Ms. Iron Lady, you’re gonna need me, too,” he said, his voice growing even more tender. “You act all though and take on way more than you should in the feels department. Yeah, I nearly died for real the other day. And, yeah, it’s true, I’m not okay cause-a what happened to Sundance. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be here for you to lean on, too, and it doesn’t mean I’ll actually break if you do lean on me or aren’t right on toppa things. Believe me, if something gets so bad that I’m feelin’ like I did back in the prison or even back in the Crypt, you’ll know and I know you’ll be right there. And that helps. But don’t feel like you gotta keep being a wall around me. I got two-hundred years on ya, kiddo. I can take it. It may not always look like it, but I can.”

I smiled a little and pulled his hands up to my lips and kissed them, holding them there for a moment as I closed my eyes. “I think more than anything, I’m just absolutely terrified to lose you,” I quietly confessed. 

I felt his hands tug back a bit in my grasp and I opened my eyes to see him getting out of his seat. He moved his body around the small table, easing his hands out of mine to wrap me up in his arms as he slid into the seat beside me, kissing my forehead. I sighed, settling against his chest, and rested my head on his shoulder, feeling his hand at the side of my head, petting me softly. 

“See?” He whispered. “You’re leanin’ and I’m still in one piece. Tough as nails.”

I smirked and pressed my face into the side of his neck, breathing in his reassuring scent and feeling the warmth of his embrace securely around me. It was so soothing just to know he was right there but, still, even knowing it, seeing it, and feeling it, what happened at the prison was a tough thing to shake sometimes. The ‘what if’ scenario constantly played in my head. What if he hadn’t made it? Would I have gone to a dark place just in my head or would it have consumed me totally and set me on a path of vengeance where I crossed a line there was no coming back from? Thinking about that just made me miserable, though, so I slipped my arms around him, holding him tight, and kissed the side of his neck. “I love you, Cayde,” I whispered. “So much.” 

He hugged me closer as I felt a pang of affection that seemed to strike him deep in his chest at my words. “I love you, too, Ais,” he whispered, back, turning his head, kissing the side of mine. “More than anything.”

 

After sitting there for a while, neither of us speaking or making to move, he finally quietly asked: “You okay? You’re not going back into long-term silent Guardian mode, are ya?”

I chuckled a little and shook my head. “No,” I murmured. “Just enjoying this feeling.”

“I thought so, but wasn’t sure,” he said. “You know, you don’t hafta ask if you ever need this,” He gently told me. “I love giving hugs. And I’ve been told they’re pretty amazing.”

I smiled and lifted my head, looking at him. “That so?” 

He nodded then gave me a sweet little nuzzle and kissed my lips, I think sensing I was feeling better. 

“Thanks,” I whispered.

“For what?” He asked. “I’m only doing this cause I love hugging you. Has absolutely _nothing_ to do with you needing me,” he said, shaking his head. “Cause, Titans, they never need anyone,” he winked.

I gave him a playful little shove and he chuckled, reaching across the table to pull his cup and bowl over to my side, keeping his arm around me as we ate.

 

When we were done, he leaned back in the seat, arm still around my shoulders, and picked up his cup of coffee. “Now, you said something about a Throne World?” he asked, drinking some of his coffee. “I heard Eris mention that once. And Ikora. Oryx had one of those, right?”

I nodded, leaning into his side, feeling how much he was liking me needing him. I hadn’t realized it would actually help him in light of everything he’d been through, and I suddenly remembered, back in the Hanger, when we came back from Enceladus, he’d asked me to lean on him - that it would make him feel good. I wanted to smack myself. That had been a hint I’d missed.

“So?” Cayde asked, noticing I hadn’t elaborated. “What is it, exactly?”

“Oh, it’s a pocket dimension within the realm created by one who is powerful enough to do so,” I told him, giving him the simple answer. “It’s governed by Sword Logic which is the basic principle of Hive religion. In simple terms it means ‘existence is the struggle to exist’. So, basically, if something exists where it doesn’t have a means of protecting itself from being defeated, then, logically and rightfully, it’s gets destroyed by something more powerful. Sort of like, survival of the - ” I paused, my eyes widening a bit as something came to me. “ … fittest.” I uttered, frowning. “Oh, shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Cayde asked, head tilting to look at me.

I brought my thumb to my mouth, holding the nail between my teeth for a moment as I stared off at nothing in particular, thinking. 

“Ais?”

I blinked out of my thoughts and turned my head, looking at him, pulling my thumbnail away from my teeth. “The Throne World … Hiraks may be a Fallen but he’s a powerful Baron who’s figured out how to use the powers of the Hive. Which means, even if very improbable, it’s _possible_ he may have a Throne World.” I looked down at nothing in particular on the table, my eyes darting back and forth. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit,” I uttered again.

“Okay, saying ‘shit’ like that, that’s - that ain’t good,” Cayde said, shaking his head. “What is it?”

“If Hiraks has a Throne World, the way it works is with Sword Logic. The more he kills or destroys, the more powerful he becomes. The more power he has, the bigger his Throne World becomes.”

“O-okaaaaay …” Cayde frowned, shaking his head. “Soooooo …?”

“So, following Sword Logic in what happened at the prison, you’re a powerful Light-bearing being he defeated. Your death should have increased his power by quite a bit.”

“But he didn’t defeat me, so … his Throne World- Oooooh. You’re saying he’d know I’m alive if he’s visited it and sees it didn’t get bigger.”

I nodded. 

“Shit,” Cayde uttered.

Again, I nodded. “Yeah. And I didn’t think of it cause he’s Fallen, not Hive. I knew he might be able to cross to the Ascendant Realm but I didn’t think he may have a Throne World, too.”

Cayde was quiet for a moment then shook his head and shrugged. “Okay … Hey, okay,” he said, putting up his hand in a casual ‘so what?’ gesture. “So, they might know I’m alive. If they do, that means we lose them feeling overconfident and they may be more guarded. That was the only reason we were keeping it a secret, right? So we’ll just have to be extra careful.” He shrugged again. “I mean, there’s nothing else we can do, right? If they know, then they know. We’ll just have to work with that.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, then frowned. “I would have preferred them be cocky and it give us the upper hand but … yeah, you’re right. If they know there’s nothing we can do except just be overly cautious going after them from here on out.”

“Exactly. So, it’s okay. What they _don’t_ know is I still have a Ghost,” he said and Ghost blinked at him, giving a little bob of a nod in affirmation. “Even if they see I’m alive, they’ll think I’m mortal,” Cayde continued. “Jokes on them. So you,” he said, pointing at Ghost, “for the rest of these guys, you stay outta sight. I know I’m sounding like this is all about saving _our_ asses, but it’s not. We don’t wanna lose you, too, little buddy, okay?”

Ghost bobbed a nod. “Okay, Cayde.”

“Which leads to figuring out, if we are going to be more cautious, how are we going to handle keeping Ghost safe while he keeps us alive?” I asked. “They’re going to know _I_ have a Ghost. But, if they do know it’s you with me, they’ll be thinking you don’t. Maybe he’ll be safest with you. Because, if I were Pirrha, I’d have my sights on me, waiting for my Ghost to appear.”

“Yeah, that was my thinking there, too,” Cayde said with a nod. “Looks like you’re with me again, pal,” he told Ghost.

“I see I’ll have my work cut out for me, then,” Ghost needled back in familiar teasing.

I snorted, chuckling a little.

“Are you suggesting I’m reckless and irresponsible?” Cayde asked him, bumping his hip into mine for laughing.

“Oh, no, Cayde. I’d never _suggest_ that,” Ghost said.

“Oh, good, cause I - Hey!” Cayde sputtered, suddenly registering the dig.

I rested my forehead on his shoulder. “Oh, sweetheart …” I laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Typing, typing, typing* . I'mma workin' on it, but I know you all like these little moments between them, so hopefully this will tide you over for a little bit! :) More soon!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this was one of those weird moments where I, literally, sat here for almost 12 hours straight and just wrote as the story played out. It is now 7:30am and I should probably get some sleep, LOL! Enjoy!

“Cayde, I’m picking up a strange signal from the Jetsam of Saturn,” Ghost said as we finished getting ready to transmat down to the Shore.

“What kinda signal?” Cayde asked, finishing clipping his cloak into place as he went over to the console where Ghost was navigating the ship. 

“Some kind of amplifier,” Ghost said. “The signal’s too weak for me to really tell. But I can narrow down the area where it’s located,” he said as I came up beside them, holstering my sidearm. I glanced out the window to make out a crashed tombship among strangely shaped and gnarled rocks and what looked like grass speckled ground.

“Alright. Set the transmat coordinates,” Cayde said before looking over at me. “You ready, pal?” 

I nodded and handed him his helmet as Ghost floated over close to Cayde and disappeared. Cayde pulled the helmet on, then checked his canon and holstered it before grabbing an auto-rifle as well. I frowned, He didn’t usually use one of those. “Thrall tend to love me,” he said. “But if I want something that scratches the hell outta me when it sees me, I’ll get a psychotic cat.”

I snorted and stepped over to him before Ghost sent us down.

 

When we touched down on the Shore, we followed the signal until we found a small device hidden in the hollowed out part of one of the massive rocks not far from the crashed tombship giving off a ping around the area. Cayde crouched near it, curiously looking it over while giving Ghost the ability to get a read off of it without having to come out. I stood by, keeping watch, hearing low hissing groans from nearby Knights and Acolytes in the area. “This is a synaptic amplifier,” Ghost quietly told us. “A mind control device calibrated to interface with the Hive.”

“Is that why he’s called the Mindbender?” I asked.

“Not just this,” Cayde said. “We’d heard rumors that he could control others with words, too. Never saw it, though.”

“You mean like hypnosis?” 

“I guess,” Cayde shrugged.

“I’ve traced the signal to a nearby cave,” Ghost told us, the ping coming up on our radar. 

“We’ve got a few Acolytes around,” I quietly told Cayde as he came up behind me. “And a Knight somewhere. Haven’t seen him yet, but I could hear him.”

“Smell him, too,” Cayde said, waving his hand in front of his face. “Unless that was you.” 

I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing and elbowed him, hearing him grunt.

“Ow,” he whispered then poked me with his finger, right in my side where I was ticklish.

I jerked away from him snorting and gave him a shove.

“Will you two stop it!” Ghost hissed. “They’re going to hear us!”

“Okay, okay,” Cayde said, clearing his throat, trying to be all serious now and failing miserably. “I’ll poke ya later,” he whispered over my shoulder.

I dropped my head forward, shaking it, holding my breath so I wouldn’t laugh, then got myself under control and peeked around the rock, Cayde leaning around me to look as well. “On our left, ten o’clock,” I whispered, noticing an Acolyte several feet away, but slowly wandering in our direction, another one not far up beyond him, it’s back to us.

Cayde took out his sniper, checking the silencer, then balanced the barrel on my shoulder. “Don’t move,” he whispered and I smirked as he took aim and dropped the nearest one first, then adjusted his aim and took out the one further away, both going down quickly and quietly. We heard a low rumbling hiss closer to us, on the left as well, and Cayde glanced up noticing the edge of rock just above our heads. “He’s up there,” he whispered. “I want you to go that way,” he said, pointing to the right. “Get his attention.” He put his sniper away then scurried off around the rock behind us and I knew what he was doing. I looked up at the ridge of rock and casually backed my way out from under it. I saw the high spiked head bones first, then the eerie green-yellow glow if his eyes. He was looking off in the direction where the Acolytes had been, as if searching for them and wondering where they went. I cleared my throat and his head snapped down to look at me. He hissed and snarled, aiming his weapon at me, never getting a shot off, though. Cayde leapt up onto his back and drove his long hunting knife right into the back of the Knight’s neck and jerked up on the handle. There was a soft cracking sound, like someone crushing a shell beneath their boot-heel and the Knight’s body went limp, crumpling. Cayde did a graceful tumble and roll over the body, dropping off the edge of the ridge onto his feet right in front of me. “Ta-da!” He cheered.

I slowly clapped, impressed. 

 

As we got closer to the ship, it became clear we couldn’t avoid taking out any more Hive without others knowing, so we went in, guns blazing, and wiped out the good dozen or so that were guarding a large hole in the side of the ship, including another Knight that foolishly thought a shield would save him, and a Wizard that Cayde easily disposed of with his sniper.

“The signal seems to be coming from a nearby cave,” Ghost told us. “Not the ship. Over that way,” he said, changing the point on the radar that led us down under a rickety and rusted little foot-bridge and into a cave that looked like it had once been a mineshaft, pieces of old cart rails long eaten away and covered by dirt and sands still showing on some places. There was a strange rhythmic humming sound coming from somewhere further in and, when we rounded the corner, we came out in a much larger, more open area of the cave, held up by carved pillars. There were a handful of Hive glowing a bright purple, and a weird-looking humming device in the center of them, casing beams of the light out onto them. I shot the device, shorting out the beam and Cayde took out the Acolytes on the left, while I took out the ones not he right. 

“It’s another amplifier,” Ghost told us and Cayde brought him over to it so he could scan it forms he safety of the pack Cayde was carrying him in. “I need a minute to triangulate the signals origin,” Ghost told us. 

A low wail signaled one of the Cursed Thrall had appeared, along with some regular Thrall. “Oh, great,” I uttered, crouching down next to Cayde, who couldn’t move from the spot until Ghost was done with the scan. 

“You get those ones, I got these ones over here,” Cayde told me, pulling out the auto rifle. That’s when I saw more had appeared to the right and just behind us, but Cayde was already firing on them. 

I fired as several Thrall coming at me, but one got lucky and ducked my fire and jumped up in front of me. I punched it, shattering its jaw, killing it, just as more Thrall and Acolytes arrived, accompanied by another amplifier, bathing them in the same purple glow as the first one. I fired at a thrall that came charging at us but my bullets did nothing. “So, that’s what it does.” I said, quickly reloading and aiming at the device. “It doesn’t seem to just control them but shield them from gunfire as well.” I shot it, shattering it, the purple light fading out, leaving the them vulnerable. 

“Just what we need, shielded Hive murder-kitties,” Cayde said, turning in my direction to help me take them out.

“Got the coordinates,” Ghost told us. “The signal’s coming from that crashed tombship.”

Cayde hopped off the rock he’d been perched on while waiting for Ghost to make the scan and wandered around a pillar. I hard a single gunshot and saw a Thrall body fall down on the other side. “Thought it could hide from you, eh?” I asked.

“You’d think they’d learn by now,” Cayde said, shrugging.

 

We followed the radar signal through a couple caves and out the other side to where the ship was. The loud echoing roar of a Hive Ogre carried across the way and we saw and heard more of those amplifiers. As we neared the ship, we saw the Ogre being both controlled and protected by two of the amplifiers. Acolytes also littered the area and Cayde and I took turns defending the other while taking out the amplifiers and the Ogre. “Looks like there’s a Wizard here, too,” Cayde said. I tossed one of my small Solar hammers at the shield surrounding the Wizard, disabling it, and Cayde shot it with his canon. 

I noticed the signal wasn’t coming from inside the entrance of the ship and looked around, spotting greenish floating platforms above us, similar to the ones I’d encountered on the Drednaught, the signal coming from up above, wherever they lead. “Up there,” I told Cayde, pointing. 

He glanced up. “Huh. Wasn’t expecting that,” he admitted and did a double jump up to the first one as I followed, hearing more of that horrid amplifier sound. “We got Scorn,” Cayde told me as we leapt onto the third platform. “On the right. Watch it.” I looked over and saw them along with a shimmering blueish light behind them. “What is that?” I asked, shooting a couple. “Looks like a giant amplifier.”

“Yeah, it does,” Cayde said, firing at a Scorn that snuck up beside us. “Uh, ah,” he chided at the body, wagging a finger at it as it slid off the edge and fell.

“He’s controlling all the Hive in the area,” I said as we leapt onto the platform where the amplifier was set up. 

“Why’s he need the little ones, then?” Cayde asked, getting close to it so Ghost could work on shutting it down. 

“Must be for the shields,” I said, covering him from more incoming Scorn. 

“This one has a safeguard,” Ghost told us. “I’ll need a minute to disable it.” 

I put up a shield of my own on the other side of him and Cayde, then tackled a large wave of Scorn that suddenly appeared to my right. Meanwhile, Cayde balanced the end of his sniper on the top of my shield and picked off any Scorn that came into his sights.

By the time we cleared the area, Ghost had managed to shut the amplifier down.

“That’s the last amplifier,” Ghost said. “The signal I’m getting now is coming directly from the Mindbender himself.” 

“Let’s go put an end to this brain tweaker, then,” Cayde said, reloading his weapons. 

As we hopped onto the platform leading into the ship, I paused for a moment, looking around, the familiar structure and lighting sending a chill down my spine. Cayde stopped just ahead of me and turned, hurrying back. “Ais?”

“I’m okay,” I nodded. 

He set his hand on my shoulder. “Bad memories?”

“Can’t be helped,” I told him. “Come on,” I said, pushing them aside and ventured in with him. 

 

“I remember looking at the video feed when you were on the Dreadnaught,” Cayde quietly said as we made our way further in, the brown, green, and yellow tones of the interior melancholy and unsettling. “Doesn’t seem to do the creepy vibe justice.”

“This is nothing compared to that place,” I told him. It really wasn’t. This had a similar look and feel to it, but the Dreadnaught was something else entirely.

He glanced over at me but didn’t immediately say anything and I could feel a twinge of regret in him. Like he was thinking he shouldn’t have said anything because it was just bringing back more bad memories for me. “Sorry,” he uttered.

“Don’t be,” I gently replied. “You’re with me this time. That helps more than you’ll know.”

 

As we made our way up one of the oddly shaped staircases, we could hear another one of those amplifiers buzzing away. We crouched as we neared the top and spotted some feeding Thrall bent down under it, glowing purple as they licked at the decomposing material laying about the ships floor.

“Ugh,” Cayde uttered. “Think I’m gonna throw up.”

I glanced over at him.

“Not for real,” he whispered. “Still, urgh. Don't even wanna know what that stuff is,” he said. “So gross.”

I smirked and aimed my rifle at the amplifier and shot it, disturbing the Thrall, sending them into a frenzy toward us. We easily disposed of them, then got up and went though the area to the other side. Just as we went around a corner, one of the larger torch-bearing Scorn startled both of us, actually running right into us, knocking us down. “Whoa! Where’d you come from, big boy?” Cayde asked, shooting the Scorn just under its chin, Dark Ether wafting as it dropped dead. I saw more were behind him and, while Cayde helped me to my feet, I fired at them, seeing a Hive Acolyte come up behind them and chucked a hammer at it, setting it on fire. 

“Mu-mu-mu-multi-tasking!” Cayde cheered. 

I snorted and reloaded my gun. “We got more,” I told him, noticing Scorn and Hive in the next room. 

As soon as we ventured in some of those nasty little exploding Screens showed up, crawling at us with incredible speed. “Oh, cripes,” I mumbled in annoyance and grabbed Cayde, jumping us both out of the way as one managed to sneak up on us from under a platform, exploding. 

“Whoa! Where’d he come from?” Cayde asked, stunned he hadn’t noticed it. 

“I hate those damned things,” I said, landing us nearby. I let go of Cayde and fired at a couple more Scorn while Cayde tackled the Screebs, clearing the area.

“Definitely seeing the similarities between here and Luna,” Cayde mentioned, reloading as we headed for a doorway that had a sort of coffin shape to it. 

“How far in did you go while there?” I asked him.

“You mean, into the Hellmouth?” Cayde asked.

I nodded. 

“No where near as far as you,” he said. “It was too dangerous and I was just out for loot and anything else I could scavenge. Those were more my early days and one of my first trips off-world. Once I found a ship.”

“The Queen of Hearts?” I asked. 

“Oh, no, no,” he shook his head. “This was an old rusted out trash can. I was actually surprised I made it back without it breaking up in orbit.”

I chuckled. “You’ll have to tell me about that sometime. I don’t think I heard that story.”

“Really? I Never told you about going to the moon?”

“You told me about the Fallen Captain you fought with and the Thrall. But nothing else.”

“Huh,” Cayde muttered. “Well, sure then.”

I smiled. “Oh, damn. More Screebs,” I said, pointing through the doorway. 

“Let’s put them outta their misery,” Cayde nodded and fired at one, the explosion taking out all the rest. He looked over at me and shrugged. “That was easy.” 

Just as we stepped through the arch, a massive Scorn Ogre-like abomination appeared and blasted Arc energy, hitting me square in the chest, sending me skidding along the floor on my back. 

I gasped, grabbing at my chest as I weakly rolled over, trying to catch my breath, feeling like the bones in my chest were on fire. I heard Cayde’s gun going off behind me and roaring and stomping sounds, followed by more gunfire, this sounding like my machine gun.

I drifted in pain for a moment, then heard a long, low, wheezing roar and screeching of Thrall before things went quiet. Hurried footsteps followed and Cayde was right beside me. “Ais?”

“Ow,” I barley squeaked, the pain radiating as I laid on my side, unable to move. I felt him ease my hand away from my chest. 

“It’s okay, we got this,” he said, and the warmth of Ghost healing me washed over me, finally allowing me to take a proper breath without pain. 

“The blast broke your sternum, “Ghost said, both surprised and worried. “Are you alright?”

I nodded, sitting up. “Yeah. Thanks. Wow. The last one I ran into didn’t get to hit me dead on like that,” I said, rubbing at my chest through the armor.

“Let’s not let that happen again,” Cayde said, then got to his feet and offered me his hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me up. “Took it like a pro, though,” he said, making me smile. I could feel it had worried him when I got hit and I leaned in, giving him a little hug, petting his side. He hugged me back and handed me my gun. “Ready?”

I nodded as we continued on our way.

We took a left down some stairs, an intricate, laced, Hive design of metal covering a window at the bottom that looked down into a large open room where we saw a couple more of the amplifiers creating a criss-cross of purple shielding light onto a few Acolytes. Turning to our right, we went down a spiral staircase that brought us into the room. He didn’t have to tell me for me to know Cayde was going for the amplifier on the right while I went for the one on the left, each of us firing at the same time, destroying them, leaving the Acolytes vulnerable. 

As soon as the criss-crossing light was gone, we saw Hiraks was standing at the top of two flights of stairs before a giant hexagonal archway with an oval inlay that looked much like an inactive portal gateway like the ones on the Dreadnaught. The Acolytes attacked us, so we had no choice but to focus on them first, before concentrating fire on Hiraks. 

Now alone, he leveled a powerful Hive weapon at us and fired, sending rattling arc bombs at us. I countered, firing my machine gun at him while Cayde pulled out Trust and got a few shots off before the gateway activated and Hiraks quickly disappeared into it. 

“Shit,” I uttered under my breath, then looked at Cayde, grabbing his arm. “You stay close, you understand? It’s easy to get lost in there.”

He nodded. 

“Alright.” I looked up at the gateway and reloaded as we ran up the stairs. I looked up at the pulsing, sickly and shimmering, yellow-black nothingness in front of us and took Cayde’s hand. 

“Ready?”

“Ready,” he said with a nod, and we stepped through.

 

I felt the pull as we shifted form our plane to the Ascendant one followed by the cool, unsettled hollowness of the air around us. Everything was dark with that familiar yet other-worldly deep greenish glow. Flashes of lightning form an unknown source flickered all around us, and a low wind howled. It was like being in a vast desert in the middle of the night with a storm looming not too far off. I felt Cayde’s hand tighten around mine and an anxious feeling settle deep within him as he took a side-step closer to me, feeling the emptiness of the plane for the first time. As I looked around and got my bearings, I noticed the area we were in wasn’t actually the plane. There were none of the black suns like the Realm tended to have, nor any land masses or structures that appeared to be the negative of the Tangled Shore. I suddenly realized we were actually in the Throne World of the Mindbender. He’d actually managed to create it, despite not being Hive. What was more, it was big. A lot bigger than I’d imagined it to be. How? 

In front of us, up a set of steps, a portal, just like the one we’d stepped through, began glowing. A low garbling sound echoed in the space, followed by Hiraks stepping through and howling before increasing to a massive size, much bigger than even the Hangman, Reksis Vahn. 

“Sword Logic?” Cayde asked.

“Sword Logic,” I nodded. “It’s his true size.”

“Okay,” Cayde nodded. “Bullets will still work, right?”

“Right,” I said. “Give it everything you got.”

“How did the Mindbender get a Throne Room this big?” I heard Ghost ask.

“Killed lots of people?” Cayde offered, firing all he had in his canon at Hiraks before reloading. “He helped take out the Reef."

“No, that wouldn’t do it. You’d need to kill someone powerful to make this place this big,” I said, firing my machine gun at him, buying Cayde time to reload.

“He didn’t go after anyone powerful,” Cayde said, firing again. “Not that we know of.”

“Just you,” Ghost pointed out.

“Oh,” I said, suddenly realizing something I hadn’t considered before.

“What?” Both Cayde and Ghost asked at the same time.

“You’re Light,” I told Cayde, ducking down behind a ramp by a set of stairs as Hiraks fired in my direction. Cayde ducked down behind the one just across from me. “You’re alive. But Sundance … they still managed to take the Light you had. That would count. It’s part of you and powerful. Destroying it would add to his power.”

I peeked out over the ramp and saw a couple purple glowing amplifiers had appeared above Hiraks, shielding him. I switched to my scout rifle and fired at one, just as I heard Cayde’s canon go off, destroying the other.

I was starting to feel an ebb of sadness, mingled with anger. “Cayde?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” he said, his tone slightly dejected.

“I know,” I gently said over the comm, looking over at him, seeing him leaning back against the ramp to the stairway just across from me. “Sweetheart I know,” I assured him. “But you have to focus right now.” I knew he could usually put things aside and do what he needed to do in moments like this, but I also knew he’d never personally had to handle anything like this before and it was causing him to falter where he normally didn’t. “I promise, when this is done, whatever you need, you got it. But we’ve got to stop him first.”

As the lightning flashed above us I could see him nod before carefully looking around the corner. “W-where’d he go?” He asked.

“What?” I looked and saw Hiraks was gone. “Shit,” I uttered and started quickly looking around. “Do you see him?”

“No. Where could he have gone?” Cayde asked. “Not like the dude can hide behind anything. He’s too big.” 

A new gateway suddenly opened up just behind us and I turned to see Hiraks stepping out. He rushed toward us, growling and snarling. “Go!” I told Cayde, and saw him out the corner of my eye hurry up the steps and around the other side just as I leaped over the ramp for cover. I balanced my machine gun on the railing and opened fire to try and slow him down so Cayde could get in a better firing position. Hirak’s hissed at me and laughed, then started growling and uttering something in Eliksni, his tone low, in a key that seemed to make me dizzy and feel sick. It echoed all around and kept repeating in a soft, eerie whisper. I didn’t understand what he’d said; I’d never really picked up much Eliksni, but I watched as he turned and rushed back through the portal, Acolytes and Knights coming out in his wake, attacking me. 

As the portal closed, I managed to kill the last of them, leaving the area empty of both Hiraks and more Hive. That was when I realized I hadn’t heard any gunfire from Cayde. I looked round. “Cayde?”

“Yeah?” Cayde asked, making me jump. I hadn’t heard or felt him come up behind me. 

“You alright?” I asked him, unable to get a read off him. It was odd.

“Yeah,” he nodded, then dropped his canon to the ground and pulled out his hunting knife and rushed me, slamming into me and knocking my gun out of my hands. I startled, taken aback, just as he raised the knife with both hands and brought it down to my face.

I instinctively grabbed his wrists, pushing back, the tip of the blade only inches from the face of my helmet. “Cayde, what are you doing?!” I practically screamed, feeling his strength and weight gradually push me back and down.

“Aislin - !” Ghost started but I cut him off.

“Ghost, stay where you are!” I told him. “Don’t you dare come out.”

“What’s happening?!” Ghost demanded.

“Just stay hidden,” I strained, trying to push Cyade back. Even though I was a Titan, being an Exo, Cayde was strong, and I was having a hard time fighting him. I heard Hiraks voice chanting again, followed by low, rumbling laughter and realized what was happening. He was controlling Cayde. He was in his head. “Cayde, stop!” I begged but he just kept pushing causing me to lose my balance. I fell backward, my grip on his wrists pulling him down with me. As I landed, his knife slipped past the pad and plate of armor on my left shoulder, going through the mesh and sinking into me with a sharp, searing pain. I cried out just before I felt him yank the knife back out and straddle my hips, raising it and bringing it back down for a second time, trying to put it through my helmet. With all the strength I had, I bared the pain, knowing I only had a seconds worth of strength to hold him off with my injured arm and let go with my good one, swinging up hard enough I actually knocked him to the side, his helmet flying off and rolling away out of sight on the ground. Undeterred, he came right back at me and punched me, my helmet cracking from the force and tried yet again to stab me with the knife, this time aiming it for my throat. I put my arm up, holding it across my chest as he leaned into it, trying to wear me down. That’s when I noticed his eyes. In the flashes of lightning around us, I saw the shimmer of tears streaking down his cheeks. He was in there, fully aware of what was happening and unable to stop it. As the lightning flashed again, I caught the shine of his canon laying on the ground just to my left. Keeping my eyes on his, I blindly reached for it and managed to grab it. I cocked it and aimed it right between his eyes. “Cayde …”

I watched his eyebrows twitch, his head jerking a little. “A-Ais,” he barely managed to utter, body shaking, voice heavily strained. “Do it,” he begged and I felt his body push as hard as it could as whatever power Hiraks had over him was fighting back.

“You stay with him, Little Light. You hear me?” I whispered, my voice breaking as I felt tears in my own eyes. “You stay with him and keep him safe.” My teeth chattered and my bottom lip quivered. I felt myself shaking as I swallowed, looking right into Cayde’s eyes. “I love you,” I whispered, then pulled the trigger.

The loud ring of the canon seemed to make my heart stop. Made the world stop. Made everything stop. Cayde’s head jerked back from the force and he went limp, flopping down on top of me, his hands going slack, dropping the knife. I laid there for a brief moment, going cold, unable to move or even breathe. The hand holding the canon felt like it had just been cut off.

What finally pulled me out of shock was the billowing laughter from Hiraks. I saw the light of the portal over Cayde’s shoulder and forced myself to move. With a painful groan, I managed to roll us over, cradling him carefully, laying him back on the ground beside me. I saw the bullet hole just under his horn and closed my eyes, laying my palm on his cheek as hot tears dripped from my eyes and into the lining of my hemet. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, caressing his cheek. 

“Aislin?” I heard Ghost utter, sounding just as shocked as I felt. “What’s … what’s going on?”

“Shhhhh,” I hushed, my voice shaking. “Just stay out of sight and, if something happens to me, you keep him safe,” I told Ghost, then grabbed Cayde’s canon and managed to get to my feet, turning, looking over at the portal and the massive silhouette of Hiraks as he stood before it, laughing again. I felt blood soaking into the under armor along my left arm, gradually working its way down. I knew I was bleeding heavily and didn’t have much time. But I couldn’t risk Ghost coming out so I’d have to move as fast as I could. I made my way closer to Hiraks, slumping a little, looking weak and drained, I’m sure, his eyes on me as I came into the light of the portal. I felt blood pooling in the tips of the gloves at my fingers as my arm hung limply at my side. As I glanced up at him, I heard him lowly chuckle again, then utter something in Eliksni, this time saying Cayde’s name among other things. I didn’t have to speak the language or understand it to know he’d figured out Cayde was alive and that had been him with me. My guess was the loss of Sundance and his original Light had given Hiraks power to enlarge his Throne World but that Hiraks had been smart enough and knowledgeable enough in Hive lore to know it wasn’t all of it. He’d known something was off. Maybe his Throne World hadn’t grown big enough, or he could actually sense the power and knew it wasn’t all of it. I didn’t know Hive lore well enough to knew how they did all they did and knew what they knew. It really didn’t matter. Hiraks had been waiting for Cayde. And, it was only a guess, but I assumed, because he’d taken Cayde’s Light, that was how he’d managed to hypnotize and control him so easily. That was three times now these Barons had hurt him in some way; the first two being killing Sundance, then putting him through a wall, breaking his body. 

Now Hiraks had forced my hand, leaving me no choice but to shoot him. If I hadn’t, he would have killed me. And with him being under Hiraks control, Ghost would have been doomed and I’d have remained dead. It had been the only thing I could have done to save all of us.

Not that that helped ease the pain and sickness I felt deep in my soul.

These Barons had done enough. 

No more.

I couldn’t stop the rage I felt. I didn’t even try. And the fire it created burned brighter than any other I’d ever let loose. It completely engulfed me and the pain in my shoulder suddenly seemed a distant memory. Hiraks stopped laughing, I think fully realizing what he’d let loose, and, as my hammer came down, he tried to escape through the portal but never made it. 

I not only leveled him, actually shattering the ground beneath us, but I continued to beat the smoldering flesh and ash to a bloody pulp with my fists after my hammer had faded. I likely would have kept doing so if not for Ghost yelling in my ear that the Throne World was collapsing without Hiraks to keep it in existence. 

Coming to my senses, I turned and ran for Cayde, grabbing him up in my arms, my left shaking with the effort it took to hold him, as I ran for the portal, jumping through it as everything around us shook and began crumbling into nothingness.

 

I have no idea how I managed with the bloodloss and a weakened and pained left shoulder and arm, but I got us to a place where Ghost could activate the transmat, bringing us back up to the ship. As soon as we boarded, Ghost appeared and healed me and I brought Cayde over to the bed and laid him down, Ghost resurrecting him and floating back over my shoulder, waiting for him to wake up.

Cayde groaned and lifted a hand to his head as he winced, sitting up. As soon as he did, he gasped, eyes snapping open, quickly finding me. “Ais?!”

“It’s alright,” I said, sitting down on the bed with him, facing him. I reached up and caressed his cheek. “It’s alright, I repeated, nodding. “I’m right here. We’re safe. He’s gone.”

Cayde looked at me, opening his mouth but nothing coming out. He shook his head and I grabbed him and hugged him tight, both of us clinging to each other and shaking as we softly cried and leaned into each other, feeling both relief we were okay but heartache from what we’d both been forced to do.

 

We eventually got our armor off and put on some regular civilian clothes then cuddled up on the bed together, Cayde laying on his stomach between my legs, ear over my heart and arms around my middle. I could feel him physically shaking and the fear deep within that still gripped him. I understood. If it had happened in reverse, I’d be just as shaken. Hell, I was shaken, myself, from having to shoot him and I knew I was very far from okay. But I told myself I’d deal with it later and decided to focus on him right now. Yeah, it was the Titan in me. And just my own stubborn and protective nature. But I had to make sure he was okay first. Then I’d be able to deal with the rest. 

I noticed Ghost floating over us for a brief moment before he came down and settled on the pillow beside my head, shifting close enough to press against me. I’d never known him to offer comfort in such a physical way. He’d settle on my shoulder, sure, maybe give a bit of a nuzzle if it really called for it, but to lean in like this and stay? Like he was actually trying to hug me? No. He’d never done this before. He didn’t have a body that was capable of offering a hug, or anything else, so I knew this was as close to that as he could get. That he was offering it so openly was a clear sign of how much he knew we were both traumatized from what had happened.

Cayde’s shaking pulled me out of my thoughts and I rubbed his back, lightly kissing the top of his head. “Shhhhh,” I soothed. “It’s okay. It’s over,” I murmured and took a deep breath and let it out, forcing myself to be calm and let Cayde sense it as well. “Just focus on me, okay? I’m right here. I’m fine.”

“I tried to kill you,” Cayde uttered, his voice laced with pain and regret.

“No, Little Firefly. Hiraks did. Not you. I know you'd never hurt me.” I knew he knew that, he was just incredibly shaken by what had happened. 

“I didn’t expect that,” he admitted. 

“Neither did I,” I softly said, my hand moving to the back of his head and neck, gently caressing my fingertips and nails along his skin and the ridges and lines of metal. I could feel it helping him relax some. 

“I thought he could only control Hive,” Cayde murmured.

“Me, too,” I nodded. “Only guess I have is it worked something like the way Oryx controlled the Taken. Because Hiraks had a hand in taking your Light, it allowed him some ability to control you.”

Cayde shook his head again and pressed his face into my chest. “I'm so sorry,” he uttered, his voice breaking. 

“It’s alright,” I soothed again, wrapping him up in my arms, rocking him gently. “It wasn’t you, sweetheart. I’m okay.”

He let out a shaky breath and nodded, shifting up my body and pressing his face into the crux of my neck as he slid his arms under my shoulders. “I feel sick,” he quietly confessed. 

“I know. I feel it, too,” I said.

He eventually lifted his head, pushing himself up enough to look at me, his eyes misty and bright, unshed tears making the light of his eyes blurry. “Ais, I - Y-You know you did what you had to, right? That-” He paused and swallowed before continuing. “That if it ever came down to that again, I’d - I’d want you to-”

“Shhhhhhh,” I murmured, cupping his cheeks and nodding. “I know,” I told him. “And, before you ask, no, I’m not alright,” I told him, then eased his head down, kissing the spot just below his horn where I’d shot him. “But I will be. I knew Ghost would bring you back.” 

He nodded, then settled back down against me, his hand gently caressing the spot on my shoulder where his knife had stabbed into me. I could feel the tremble in his fingertips, even through the cloth of my shirt, and reached up, curling my hand around his, holding it there as I put my other arm back around him. “It wasn’t you,” I gently whispered again, giving his hand a squeeze. “It was him. I don’t blame you for a damn thing,” I assured him. 

He took a breath and let it out, nodding. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I tried to fight it.”

“I know,” I whispered, letting go of his hand, slowly sliding my own up and down his forearm. “I know you did.”

He was quiet for a while, barely breathing before he spoke again. “Ais?”

“Mmm?”

"Are you afraid of me?” He asked, so quietly, I almost didn’t hear him.

“Afraid of you?” I asked, surprised, eyebrows rising. “No, of course not.” Then I suddenly understood and sighed, closing my eyes. “I see,” I gently said, nodding. “You’re scared of losing me. That what happened will make me push you away. Is that it?”

He was quiet and still for a few moments then hesitantly nodded.

“Oooh, my sweet Little Firefly,” I murmured, rocking him gently. “You’re never going to lose me. There’s nothing you could ever do that would make me push you away.”

“Nothing huh?” He asked, and I could already feel my reassurance helping him relax, driving the fear away.

“Well,” I said, laying my head against his, “maybe accusing me of farting on a mission might do it.”

I felt his body jerk as a slightly watery laugh escaped. I grinned and eased my head back, titling it, looking at him. “I love you, you know?” I softly whispered to him as he looked at me. “So much.”

He closed his eyes, tears pouring over the ridges of his cheeks, and I felt the fear wash away with them. That was exactly what it had been. His fear of loss had gotten to him. It scared him more that I’d push him away than if I’d died. And, yeah, dying was bad. He knew it. I knew it. But I also knew Cayde. Very well. And I knew that fear was crippling for him. What the exact original thing or things had been that sparked in into being, that I didn’t know. I’m not even sure if Cayde knew. I just knew there were different levels of it. There was the part of him that hated it when he lost simple things, like a poker game or a bet, and then there was loss on a greater level that came with losing friends and comrades. Those were bad enough he did everything he could to avoid dealing with them. But when it came to me … Especially now that we were bonded … Yeah. I knew that would completely break him in more ways than one. And terrified didn’t begin to cover it for him.

I tenderly brushed the pad of my thumb over his cheek, wiping the tears away and he blinked, looking at me, before snuggling as close as he physically could, sighing. 

Tension that had been gripping my chest also eased. I didn’t know if any of it was from him or not. More than likely. Didn’t matter. He was feeling better now and that meant so was I. But all I cared about was him knowing he wasn’t going to lose me.

I felt a soft, ghost of a kiss to my jaw, just by my right ear, then the light huff of a breath as he settled a little more, letting go of more of the tension before lifting his head, looking at me, a question in his eyes.

I knew what he was asking and I caressed his cheek, easing him down, kissing him in answer. 

I heard Ghost making a throat clearing sound before feeling him move away from my head. “I’ll just be, uh … elsewhere,” he said. 

I had no idea where he went. Honestly, in that moment, I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was Cayde, and I deepened the kiss as I carefully rolled us over so he was on his back and I was pressed up against his left side, partly on top of him. He moaned into my mouth, his arms sliding up around me in an almost desperate embrace and I smiled and tenderly, lovingly, nuzzling him. “I’m right here,” I whispered, then straddled this hips, covering him in my warmth like a reassuring blanket, wrapping my arms under his shoulders as he hugged me even tighter. I heard and felt him breathe me in and start kissing me again, and I tilted my head to the side, sighing, closing my eyes.

We spent the next two hours making love, comforting each other, taking our time, both of us needing the other in more ways than one. I felt Cayde carefully and tenderly exploring my body as he kissed every part of me his lips could touch and I returned the loving gesture, my hands, warm and soft, caressing his skin, my fingertips tracing the fine lines and curves of his muscles, committing all of them to memory. The strong emotions brought on by the day would take us both by surprise in the strangest moments - sometimes a soft whisper of a sweet nothing from Cayde would bring tears to my eyes and I’d hug him and quietly sob into his chest, and, sometimes, the tenderest touch from me against his back or along his cheek would make him cry and I’d hold him and reassure him I wasn’t going anywhere. And, after we’d made love, and were laying there together, the blanket draped over us as we caught our breaths, I felt Cayde press into my back and slip his arm around me, kissing my shoulder with a sigh. 

“I love you,” he whispered in my ear and I smiled and carefully rolled around and snuggled up into his chest, feeling him settle his arm back around me.

“I love you, too, my beautiful Light,” I whispered back, caressing his side before draping my arm over his waist, drifting off to sleep with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That definitely went a little differently than I'd originally planned, but I rather like it, especially since it just seemed to come out that way naturally. Hope you all liked it, too. More to come soon! Oh, and if there were any typos or anything, I'll reread this later and make edits if I need to. As I said, been at this for 12 hours. I think I got most, if not all of them, but sometimes I just need to look at it in a new format with fresh eyes.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I RETURN BEARING THE GIFT OF PRE-PIRRHA CAYDE AND AIS CHATS AND CUDDLES ... AND MORE! ;) SO, PLEASE, ENJOY! ALSO, THAT OTEHR 'PROJECT' I MENTIONED REGARDING THIS STORY? WELL, FOR THOSE WHO DON'T FOLLOW MY TUMBLR, I GOT INSPIRED BY THE SONG 'HELIUM' BY SIA WHICH MAY TURN UP AT SOME POINT IN THIS FIC. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I MADE? WHY A CAYDE AND AIS VID, OF COURSE! YOU CAN FIND IT HERE (sorry you can't just click a link and have to copy and paste): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRzhr6z-q7o&feature=youtu.be
> 
> OKAY, OFF TO PLOT PIRRHA! PS: I'M BRIEFLY POSTING A CHAPTER 23 SO PEOPLE KNOW CHAPTER 22 HAS BEEN FIXED. IGNORE CHAPTER 23 FOR NOW AND KEEP AN EYE OUT CAUSE, SOON, CHAPTER 23 WILL CHANGE TO THE TRUE 23 WITH PIRRHA.  
> ~Ais

You know what’s worse than having a nightmare where something awful is happening to you? When something awful is happening to someone you love.

It didn’t bother me, dreaming about the Ascendant Realm, or Hiraks, or moments I found myself falling into blackness, screaming as it curled itself around me; into me.

It didn’t even bother me that, in the nightmare, Cayde was mind-bent and killed Ghost, crushing him under his boot, and then slit my throat.

No.

Those things, while terrible - so terrible they are practically inconceivable - they weren’t what shook me and left me with that still familiar gut-wrenching pain gnawing my chest. 

What bothered me was the after. 

Everything seemed to move in slow motion. And I was outside of myself, helpless, seeing myself laying in a pool of blood pouring from my throat, choking, as whatever hold Hiraks had over Cayde was released. 

And Cayde … My Love … My Light … He dropped the knife and fell to his knees beside me, pulling me up into his arms and screamed and cried in agony as he held me close to him, his leather armor becoming soaked in my blood as I slipped away into blackness.

 

I awoke with a start, gasping, sitting up, eyes wide and covered in sweat.

“Hey, hey! Whoa!” I heard a clatter of something off to my left, followed by hurried footsteps and Cayde was suddenly right there, arms around me.

For a brief moment, I numbly held onto his arm as he hugged me and cradled my head to his chest before I pushed away and twisted, looking at him. My hands were on his face, caressing his cheeks and forehead, my eyes wide as they took him in. “Cayde?” I uttered.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s me, babe,” he gently assured, taking my hands in his, lifting one to his lips, kissing my fingers. I pulled them away and wrapped him up in my arms, letting out a shaking sigh. “I’m here,” I uttered. “I’m right here.”

“Uuuuh …” I felt his arms go back around me as he rubbed my back. “Aren’t I supposed to be sayin’ that to you right now?” He asked, sounding confused.

I shook my head and just held him tighter before a sob ripped its way out of my throat. I grit my teeth and held my breath, my forehead pressing against his shoulder.

“Hey,” he softly whispered, his hand going to the back of my head. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “Remember what you’re always tellin' me? That you got me? Well, I got you this time. Let it out, baby.”

At first, I hesitated, shaking my head. I hated being vulnerable this way. Tears were fine. I could handle tears. But this kind of ache, coupled with everything else that had happened in the last couple of days?

I cried. 

Oh, Traveler, how I cried. 

I don’t think I’d ever let go of so many tears. Not in any of the years since waking a Guardian, and all the shit I’d been through. And the crazy thing was, it wasn’t that I ached for myself, but for what I’d watched Cayde go through in a dream. I ached for him.

As the pain in my chest built and finally found its way out, I heard Cayde make a strangled sound. I eased back in concern, blinking tears out of my eyes so I could look at him, and I saw he had tears of his own, streaming down his cheeks. “Sweetheart?” I asked, concerned, gently wiping them away.

He shook his head. “I-I can feel what you’re feeling,” he managed. “Stars … Ais, what did you dream?” He barely managed, shaking his head again, before hugging me back against his chest. “It-it musta been one helluva doozy.”

I put my arms around him and held him as he held me, letting out a shaky sigh. “I dreamed … I dreamed about Hiraks. About being in the Ascendant Realm. He took over your mind just like before. And I …”. I shook my head. “I couldn’t stop you this time. He made you kill Ghost. And then …”. I shook my head again and pressed my face to his shoulder.

“Tell me?” He whispered, caressing the back of my head. “Please?”

I rubbed his back. “He made you slit my throat … then broke his hold on you. And …”. I swallowed with effort. “It was like I was watching everything outside myself. You dropped down beside me and screamed. You couldn’t save me,” I uttered, my voice barely a whisper.

His grip on me tightened and he curled himself around me. I closed my eyes, taking in his warmth and reassuring presence as I was sure he was taking in mine. Neither of us said anything. What was there to say, really? He could sense what I was feeling - and it was strong enough to make him have a reaction to it - so I knew he understood the pain and knew there really weren’t any words. It was just him being there that I needed more than anything else.

 

Time seemed non-existent as we sat there together. It could have only been a few minutes, it could have been much longer but, eventually, Cayde moved and settled back in the pillows, pulling me with him. I laid against his chest, caressing it softly, my fingers tracing the faint line of his collarbone - or, at least, what served as a collarbone for an Exo. I felt his own fingers lightly trailing down the middle of my back, following the curve of my spine, before he pulled them back up and repeated the motion.

“Are you okay?” I murmured.

He softly chuckled in reply. “ _You’re_ the one who wakes up from a nightmare and tries comforting _me_? I think you got this all backwards, beautiful.”

I smirked and looked at him. He smiled back and ran a finger over my cheek, wiping away what remained of the tear streaks. “Are _you_ okay?” He asked.

I nodded. “I am now,” I murmured. “It was just hell seeing you like that. I couldn’t do anything to help you; to reassure you I was okay.”

He put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. “It was justa dream,” he whispered. “I’m right here and I’m okay.” 

I nodded and settled my head back down, listening to the steady swishing sound of his heart. “Cayde?”

“Mm?”

“Why were you up? I thought you would have slept longer.”

“Oh, uh … I was gonna try and make you breakfast. I found some of the instant pancake stuff in the stash.”

I smiled. “Are they cold now?”

“I didn’t get around to making ‘em yet. I was just finding a bowl and that little whisking thingy when you woke up.”

“Oh. That was the clatter I heard,” I nodded.

“Yeah, I, uh, I may have dropped them when you woke up.”

I softly chuckled. “Coming to my rescue, hm? You still going to make them?”

I felt him shake with a bit of a laugh. “Yeah. And sure,” he nodded but didn’t make to move and I smiled.

“You’re liking laying like this, aren’t you?” I murmured, going back to caressing his chest. 

He nodded. “Mmm hm.”

I snuggled him. “Me, too,” I whispered.

He snuggled me back, tangling his legs up with mine and, shortly after, I felt his finger softly tracing the shape of the tattoo on my forehead and between my eyebrows. “Do you know what this means?” He quietly asked.

I shook my head. “It was there when I woke up the first time. But I like to think it’s the symbol of the sun.”

“For being a Sunbreaker, hm?” 

I nodded.

“It’s pretty. Have I ever told you that?”

I shook my head and heard him lowly chuckle. “It’s pretty,” he repeated, kissing the top of my head again, making me smile and hug him tighter. “This is nice … you needing me,” he murmured. “Not that I like the reason why. It’s just … it’s a nice feeling.” 

“It’s a hard thing to do when you’re not used to it,” I said.

“Mmm hmm,” he nodded back. “But it feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I admitted.

We were quiet for a while, just laying together, when Cayde spoke again. “Can I uh, can I ask you a question?”

“You can ask me anything you want,” I said.

“Um … Yesterday, back at the Tower … When I … sort of let slip I hadn’t exactly … been with anyone?”

I nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“I know you’re bolder than me in that, er … department and you seemed to know what you were doing. I-I was wondering …”

“Have I slept with anyone before you?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Yes,” I nodded. “It was before the War. But after I started having feelings for you. Never meant anything on any emotional level. It was just wanting to feel good. To feel some physical contact. But, I’ll admit, I thought of you when I was with them.”

“Really?” He asked, sounding surprised.

I nodded. “Took everything not to say your name in the heat of the moment,” I added with a fond smile and felt a soft little pang of affection from him.

“Huh. So, this whole past year, and then some, you’ve felt that way about me? And you never said nothin’? You just let us be friends?”

“Like I said, I didn’t want to push you. I could tell you needed someone to be close with, be intimate with on certain levels and have someone you trusted to talk to, but you never gave off that vibe that said you wanted to get physical. And I knew that was a big step. I also had to admit, I wasn’t sure if you could. I didn’t know how your body was designed and if that was holding you back in some way.”

“Basically, you didn’t know if I had a penis?” He matter-of-factly asked.

I snorted and nodded. “Yeah. The Exo shells I found on Mars were no help there, either,” I smirked. “Also, I wasn’t sure if you could feel anything physically when it came to that, or if being physically intimate was something special you could only really do with another Exo, or if it was just emotional intimacy you could do. There are a lot of stories that float around about Exos. It wouldn’t have made a difference to me, though. I wanted you, yes. But, more than that, I just wanted to be close to you,” I assured him, petting his chest. “There’s so much more to making love than just the physical stuff.” I felt him give me a squeeze then nuzzle me, a strange feeling of … I’d say appreciation washing over him.

Resting his head against mine, I heard him softly sigh. “If you’re going beyond the physical,” he murmured, “technically, I’d say we’ve been intimate for months now. I never felt so accepted and loved by anyone in this life. I don’t think in any life,” he confessed. “I just don’t strike myself as the kinda guy who … was really liked much or … well … um, anyway, I’m really glad you brought me into your room the other night. I needed it. I’d been wanting it. I just … I didn’t want to ruin what we had. And I was afraid. Part of me knew you loved me and wanted to be with me. Another part of me kept telling myself that there would be something about me that would just … turn you off. Or that you’d say no for whatever other reason. Didn’t matter what it was. That insecure part of myself I keep as hidden as possible always came ‘round and kicked me like a mule, right in the gut, whenever I thought about it. So, like you, guess I just figured, hey, I got something really special here as it is. Why ruin it? Y’know?”

I nodded and rubbed his chest again, giving the center of it a loving kiss, feeling bad he still had those moments of feeling like he wasn’t deserving of love, but glad he knew I did, genuinely, love him. He rubbed my back in reply, then chuckled. “Oh-ho, man, if you only knew how many times - by random strangers, keep in mind - I’d been asked if I had a penis, what it looked liked, and if it actually worked. I mean, literal: ‘Hey, can you fuck? Like, you got a cock?’ questions.”

I snorted and shook my head, sighing at the stupidity and lack of boundaries some people had. I wasn’t totally surprised but it still amazed me how some people still saw Exos as just robots and didn’t respect that they were people. It was rare, but it still happened. And … it also made a twinge of protective anger rise within me.

“Oooh. I feel that,” Cayde uttered, chuckling a little. “So, I take it anyone askin’ me what’s in my pants from now on will get a very angry Titan in their face?” I could tell he was practically grinning.

“You’re perfectly capable of telling them where to go and knocking their teeth down their throat,” I nodded. “But, yes.”

He chuckled again. “I never thought I’d be - as Bray said - ‘owned’. But I like it.”

I smiled. “I don’t ‘own’ you.”

“Eeh, you know what I mean,” he said, amused. “Speakin’ of Bray …” he sighed, “I should probably get hold of her after all this. Patch things up. Not that she didn’t totally push in all the wrong ways but … she ain’t a bad person. And I was … not in the best-a places to handle her … er … curiosity. Pushin’ me wasn’t a good idea the other night.”

“I’ve never seen you get angry like that before,” I admitted, nodding.

“Is that why you stayed so quiet?”

“You did ask me to,” I reminded. “But, yeah. I didn’t want to make anything worse and really send you over the edge.”

“You know I’d never hurt you right? Mindbender aside.”

“Mindbender doesn’t count. And of course I know that,” I nodded, lifting my head, looking at him. “But Traveler help anyone who does really piss you off. You’re built slim but you are damn strong.”

He smirked. “Didn’t know that, hm?”

“I knew you were strong, I just didn’t expect you to be as strong as you are. It’s pretty sexy,” I nodded.

His eyebrows rose. “Oh? I thought you, Ms. Strong and Silent Type, liked being the stronger one in the relationship?”

“The ‘stronger one’? I asked, amused. I nuzzled the end of my nose against the spot where his was and he scrunched up his face, making me chuckle. “I didn’t realize there were specific roles.”

“Well,” he said, huffing a bit of a laugh, “you’re always there for me. You always got my back. You practically carried me around Io cause I couldn’t do the jumps anymore - hell, you carried me outta the prison although, I was kinda unconscious there - You wrap me up in your arms and, basically, stand guard over me while I sleep, I don’t know how many times I’ve completely lost it on you, now, and cried on your shoulder -”

I gently stopped him. “Are you saying those are attributes to the woman in the relationship?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

“I can see I’m gonna get myself inta trouble if I keep talkin’ about this the way I am. I don’t mean it _that_ way, no. I mean - well, you know those romance novels I read, right? A lot of ‘em read where there’s … well, this main character who is out doin’ whatever - bein’ all heroic and adventurous and stuff, and they run into someone else who needs help and save ‘em. And usually that person ends up leanin’ on ‘em and needin’ ‘em and then one thing leads to another …” He shrugged. “I just always saw myself as that main character until recently. Y’know, Hunter, out in the Wilds, adventurous, causin’ trouble. Trynna do good and all.”

“Oooh. You’re not saying man and woman, you’re just making a comparison with rescuer and rescuee?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Sorry. I-I knew I was gonna stick my foot in my mouth there. I was just havin’ a hard time sayin’ it right.”

I smiled. “Sweetheart …” I pressed my lips together and, unlike Cayde, pondered how to say this before saying it. “You are my hero,” I told him, noticing his eyes widen a bit when I said that. “I love you, _so very much_ ,” I assured him, caressing his cheek. He reached up and laid his hand on top of mine and I smiled. ”You are a strong man, Cayde. As well as brave and honorable. Even with the things I know about your past - in this life and others - you tried to do good and help other people. But you lead a sort of … isolated life, despite being free and in the Wilds.” I held myself up on my elbow and used my free hand to tenderly caress along his horn and the top of his head, following his mohawk. He let out a little sigh, briefly closing his eyes, leaning into my touches. "You were close with Andal and Shiro,” I continued. “But, for the most part, you kept to yourself and kept a lot of personal stuff buried or only spoke of it with your Queen in a journal. I think the past year has been some part of you realizing you needed someone real who was in front of you, not someone - even if they were special to you - in your head. You needed an outlet - physically and emotionally. To connect. And, with what happened at the prison …” I shook my head. “It was the catalyst that forced it all out. You’ve been so emotionally raw the last couple days because you’re dealing with a lot that’s refusing to be buried anymore and anything that strikes a cord in you is causing a strong reaction.”

He looked up at me and I saw him blinking rapidly, tears forming. I winced. “Like that,” I gently said, leaning back down, putting my arms around him.

He let out a shaky sigh and hugged me back.

“You okay?” I asked.

He nodded. “Just, uh … wow. You - you nailed that.”

I smiled a little. “That’s what you were thinking, you just didn’t know how to say it, huh?”

He nodded. “I ain’t useta bein’ like this. I don’t mean the cuddles. I’m all for cuddles. But the cryin’ … It’s … It ain’t like I never cried before. Just …”

“I know,” I soothed and felt him nod, his whole body starting to shake. 

“See? This. I don’t even know why I’m shakin’ right now. Why the hell am I shakin’?”

“It’s okay,” I murmured. “Just hold onto me. I won’t let you go.”

“Eeeeergh. That’s the last time I make a comment about who the stronger one here is,” he lightheartedly tried to joke.

I smirked and carefully rolled us sideways so I could rub his back. He sifted down my body and tucked his head under my chin, careful of his horn, taking a deep breath and pressing into me as close as he could. I softly smiled. “Better?” I asked, feeling him settle.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But I think I’m really terrible at bein’ the comforting one when you have the bad dreams.”

“Sweetheart, being able to hold you right now helps more than you know,” I assured, kissing the top of his head. 

“Oh. Well … In that case, I rock.”

I laughed.

He picked his head up and smiled. “Laughing, too? Wow, I’m on a roll.”

I snorted and kissed the tip of his horn. “Was that on purpose?”

“What?” He asked, frowning.

“The rock and roll thing.”

He furrowed his eyebrows before they both shot up. “Ooooh. No. Heh. Didn’t even catch that. Three for three?” He offered.

I laughed again and snuggled him right back, pulling the blanket up over us.

 

We both ended up nodding off for a little while after. When I opened my eyes from what seemed a dreamless sleep, I heard the soft purring snore coming from Cayde and felt him steadily breathing, his shoulder slowly and rhythmically moving up and down, his gentle breath brushing over my skin. Neither of us had moved.

I suddenly noticed Ghost was floating nearby, watching us. “Hey,” I whispered. “Everything alright?”

He bobbed. “Yes. Zavala contacted us,” he quietly said. “Wanted to know if everything was alright. I let him know our current status. Petra also contacted us. I let her know of the Barons we’ve taken care of so far. She’s still on Uldren’s trail. He’s been keeping out of sight so she hasn’t had much to go on. The good news is, for now, aside from the high concentration of Scorn on the Shore, they haven’t been spotted anywhere else in the system and there have been no reports of anything coming into the City.”

“Well, that’s good,” Cayde mumbled, otherwise not moving.

“You’re awake,” I murmured, caressing the back of his head.

“Mmm. Didn’t mean to fall asleep on ya.”

“That’s okay. I fell asleep, too,” I told him.

“Oh. Well. Never mind, then.”

I smiled and eased the blanket up over his shoulder, tucking it in around him more. He got cold so easily now. I was really curious to find out why as soon as we could. I just knew it would mean going back to Enceladus and I didn’t know if Cayde would ever be up for that.

“What time is it?” I asked Ghost. “Have we slept much since we got back?”

“Actually, we only got back from the Shore about six hours ago,” Ghost said. “And it’s a little after 11:30am Earth time. It’s difficult to keep track here since the Shore isn’t a planet and there’s just a continuous light.”

I felt Cayde take a deep breath, letting it out, before he rolled back a little and stretched. He groaned and grabbed at the blanket, rolling back into me. “Did it get colder in here?” He mumbled. “Wasn’t this cold earlier.”

Well, I’d been right. “You’ve been snuggled up with me under the blanket, sweetheart. It just feels colder,” I murmured.

He made an unhappy noise. “Hate the cold,” he mumbled. 

“How about a hot shower? There should be enough water in the reserve tanks to take one without worrying about needing to head back to Earth right away.”

He peeked up at me. “You takin’ one with me?”

“Would you like that?”

He nodded.

 

The bathroom on the ship was tiny and the two of us in there together made it so there was little elbow room, even with me partly in the shower, turning it on. I laughed when Cyade had bent over to get his pants off and accidentally got poked right in the ass by the handle on the toilet. He jumped, bumping into me as he rubbed his behind. “Did you see that?” He asked. “Thing was trynna get frisky with me! You gonna stand for that?”

I snorted and pulled him into the shower, the water cascading over his head. I watched as it streamed over the metal and down over his body, making him glisten like he was sparkling. 

“What?” He asked. Apparently I’d been staring.

I shook my head. “I, um … I’ve never seen you wet before. I mean, I’ve seen you in the rain, but you always had your hood up. Does it feel weird?” I asked, touching his face, following where the water flowed over the creases, around his eyes, and even into his mouth. 

He shook his head. “No,” he softly said. 

“It doesn’t go down your throat?” I asked, peering into the open sides of his cheeks.

He chuckled. “Not with that membrane covering it. And since I don’t need any of that to talk, it just moves over everything but doesn’t go down anywhere.”

I shook my head in amazement. I was still curious why, exactly, some Exo head designs, like Cayde’s, had the open cheeks where others didn’t. My eyes then drifted lower, over his throat and to his chest as my hands slid over his shoulders, feeling the warm, silky smoothness of his skin. Because it was silicate based, it was very soft to the touch. Firm in structure, but soft in its make-up. Even with the teal mesh patterns woven in in places, you could only see them, but not feel them. It was like they only showed in places where the silicate was more clear than the deep gray. Almost like the way veins showed through human skin. It was sort of like I was seeing him again for the first time and he seemed to understand that, letting me look and touch him. 

I glanced up into his eyes then moved around behind him, keeping my hand on him as I did, letting my palm slowly slide up and over his shoulder. He followed me with his eyes, turning his head, watching me, then sighed and shuddered a little when my fingers moved over his back and slowly trailed down over his spine. I could see a very faint glean of teal along the ridge and realized it was actually a very subtle glow, not a reflection. I was willing to bet it was that blue and white fluid that we saw back in the lab on Enceladus that supported the neuro-link to his brain through his spinal cord. I leaned forward and, ever so gently, kissed the back of his neck, just below where the metal turned to silicone. 

He let out a little moan and dropped his head forward. I smiled, my hands going to his sides, caressing him up and down as I kissed him again, this time a little lower. “Like that?” I whispered.

“Mm,” he grunted in reply, making me smirk.

He was so beautiful.

I slid my hands lower, down over his hips, pressing my thumbs into his lower back, massaging them in slow, soothing circles. He groaned and leaned forward, bracing himself on the shower wall with his hands. My smirk became a grin and I crouched down a bit and boldly stuck out my tongue, the tip slowly tracing the curve of his spine up between his shoulder blades. He gasped and shuddered, his fingers curling against the wall. I grinned again and reached over to the small panel on the wall, pushing a button, a little liquid soap squirting out onto my palm. I rubbed my hands together, lathering them up, then lightly smoothed them over his back and shoulders, and even down over his upper arms, making him all soapy and slick, the thick suds seeming to bring out more of his muscle definition. My fingertips followed the curves and outlines, reveling in the artistry. 

You ever seen the Vitruvian Man by da Vinci? It was a famous drawing of a man who’s image managed to survive over a thousand years, even through the Collapse. When I looked at Cayde’s body, it was as if he was the Vitruvian Man of Exo design. Like someone took great and loving care in creating his image on paper while others took that image and brought it into reality, Cayde’s consciousness giving it life and soul. In some ways, he was very much like the other Exos. But, in others, so very different and unique. 

And, yes, I couldn’t help but wonder if that had a greater meaning. If his body really had been made special by Clovis Bray for a purpose Cayde either never knew or had long forgotten.

A light thunk pulled me out of my thoughts and I realized it was Cayde’s horn bumping into the wall as his head dropped forward even further. I smirked. “You really like this, huh?” I purred over his shoulder, pressing myself into his soapy back. I kissed his shoulder, my hands sliding down to his hips, my right hand going around, gently gripping his forming erection, stroking it slowly. 

He bucked his hips then growled and turned in my arms, forcefully grabbing my cheeks as he passionately kissed me and pushed me back against the wall behind me. My eyes went wide in surprise, even as I kissed him back, feeling him press his hardening length between my legs, rubbing against me. “Yes,” he rumbled when the kiss ended. “I do.”

I was panting a bit, feeling my cheeks flushing with the rush of excitement and thrill at seeing him like this. There was the side of him I knew was hiding deep down! I grinned and slipped my arms up around his neck, stroking the back of his head. “Hi,” I purred.

“Hi,” he whispered, lovingly nuzzling me, then bowed his head and started kissing at my throat, his left hand caressing my breast, his other balancing us against the wall. I moaned, leaning my head back, lifting my right leg and curling it around his hip. He groaned and I felt his hand move to my thigh, stroking it before hiking it up higher around his waist, sliding his hand back to squeeze my behind with another deep groan. He rocked his hips, rubbing against me even more, gasping as he did. I panted and ground into him, throbbing with need. Oooh, how I loved seeing this side of him! I had no doubt feeling vulnerable earlier had forced this side out and I wasn’t going to lie, I loved it! 

When he pulled his head back, panting just as heavily as I was, I stared into his eyes, my fingers combing along the sides of his head. He tilted it back, eyelids fluttering closed, lips parting as he moaned, the soft orange light of his mouth seeming to mimic the fire burning inside him. He shuddered at the contact, then brought his head forward and kissed me again. I stroked his cheeks with my fingers before I slipped my arms under his, tenderly drawing them up and down his back. His tongue teased my lips and he nuzzled me, smiling softly. It still fascinated me how gentle and tender he could be with a face created in metal. Even his lips were warm and tender. I could feel that they were metal, but they didn’t move that way, even with a passionate kiss, they seemed to just give where they needed to. And they certainly didn’t taste like metal. They actually tasted like subtle hints of mint form the polish he used. It was like kissing someone who’d just brushed their teeth - sweet and tingly. 

Easing his lips away from mine, he looked at me and I smiled. He always looked at me with that innocent, questioning glance, silently asking permission before moving further. I found it romantically endearing and I nodded and kissed him, tasting his lips once again and moaning as I felt him ease himself inside me. I sucked in a slow, deep breath, savoring the sensation as if it were our first time together all over again. “Cayde…” I reverently breathed, my hands curling around the backs of his shoulders.

This wasn’t like last night. Last night had been emotional. A need to reassure each other. More gentle touches and holding each other than anything. Beautiful, yes, but not like this. This was heated passion. He _wanted_ me and it was driving him crazy. I could feel it and it made me ache with need.

“Ais … Oh, baby, you feel so good,” he panted, groaning, then pressed his head against the side of mine, holding my leg up as he caressed it and gripped it, hard, rocking his hips up into me, making me gasp. My arms and leg tightened around him with desire and I panted his name, over and over, holding onto him as he gradually let himself go, his hips moving faster and faster, his thrusts getting deeper and harder, jerking me.

“Yesssss,” I hissed. “Oh, Cayde, don’t hold anything back. Give it all to me,” I begged, my nails digging into his skin.

He growled, slamming his palm into the side of the shower beside my head, letting out needy cries and snarls as he grew closer and closer. I could sense his orgasm building, fueling mine. He was almost there. _We_ were almost there. I turned my head into his and kissed his cheek, coaxing him to turn his head and kiss me again. He did, panting into my mouth and nipped gently at my lips with his own, the tenderness and careful motions belying the headiness of the more animalistic noises he was making.

“Cayde, let go,” I panted. “Baby, let it all go,” I begged through gritted teeth, right there, feeling myself teetering on the edge.

He thrust up into me a couple more times then cried out, tensing and shuddering against me, setting off my own orgasm. I nearly tore at his skin with my nails it felt so good! To stop myself, I let him go and reached up, grabbing at the line to the showerhead, snapping it from the wall, bending it.

 

We stood there, panting, staring at each other with wide eyes, both of us in disbelief at how incredible that had felt. When he was finally able to speak, Cayde shook his head. “You - you’ve never called me … baby before,” he observed. 

I smiled, still catching my breath and shrugged, caressing his cheek. “It’s just what came out,” I told him.

He smiled and kissed me then glanced up. “Did … Did you break the showerhead?”

“Totally your fault,” I told him.

“Me?!” He asked, then laughed. “I am _not_ explaining that to Amanda.”

“I slipped?” I offered.

“Do you really think she’ll believe that?” He asked.

“No,” I shook my head, snickering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Tosses out tissues* . Yeah, I know, this wasn't a sad chapter. That's not what the tissues are for! ;) . More soon!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you all go! The official chapter 23 with Pirrha! Hope you all like it and enjoy!
> 
> ~Ais

Pirrha.

The Rifleman.

The Phantom.

The Blind. 

The Ghost of Hellrise Canyon.

His reputation preceded him.

I had been looking at the file Cayde had on Pirrha from the Prison of Elders, flipping through the records on the tablet while I waited for him to finish getting dressed.

The more I read, the more I saw parallels between Cayde nearly getting killed by Pirrha and Andal’s death by Taniks. And Sundance’s death also reminded me somewhat of the story Cayde once told me of Lush, another young Guardian who lost his Ghost to Taniks back in the day. The similarity to what had happened in both cases had an almost strange foreshadowing that was … eerie and unsettling. Both Eliksni were also similar in the melding of their physical selves and machine. 

It seemed like, no matter what, somehow, Cayde was bound to get tangled up with the wrong Eliksni in some way. 

I felt arms slowly slide around me me from behind as Cayde snuggled up against my back and kissed just behind my ear before resting his chin on my shoulder. “Whatchya lookin’ at?” He murmured.

I warmly smiled as I glanced back at him, leaning into him, and showed him the file I had pulled up. “Ah,” he grunted, and I sensed the twinge of uneasiness in him. I set the tablet down and put my arms around his, rubbing them softly. “I’m not even going to ask if you’re ready for this,” I murmured. “I know you’re not. I also know you’re angry and hurt and you want to get back at him for her.”

He sighed and pressed his face into the side of my head for a moment. I was quiet, waiting. I knew he wanted to say something, he just needed a minute.

I heard and felt him sigh again, his warm breath ghosting my hair just before he eased his head back to quietly speak. “Remember … Remember how I once told you … my arrogance is where things always seem to fall apart?” I gave a little nod and I felt him settle his chin back on my shoulder, tilting his head to rest it against mine. “My arrogance got Andal killed,” he said, and I made to say something but he stopped me. “Ais-” He shook his head. “Please don’t? Just … let me say this, okay?” I nodded and he settled again, continuing. “My arrogance got Andal killed. Period. And you’d think I’dda learned from that. To not be so arrogant. To not be so cocky.” He went quiet for a moment. “But I didn’t.” He pressed his face back against the side of my head. “You know why I broke down the way I did yesterday in the prison? When I found pieces of her shell?” He asked, his voice barely a whisper.

I thought I had but now I wasn’t so sure and I didn’t want to assume, so I shook my head.

“Because it was like Andal for me all over again,” he uttered. “You were … Somewhere in the prison, clearin’ out the bad guys. And we were pretty much done. Petra come over my comm and said she just had to check on one more thing before we could go. She was down where they’d been keepin’ Uldren and the Barons. Saw they’d gotten out. When she told me they were gonna get away and were headin’ for Deck Zero - the fastest way down woulda been the gravity lift but, since that wasn’t working … Y’know, I coulda just jumped. Yeah, I still woulda died, but … woulda got me there. But, no.” He shook his head. “No, no. I had to be my cocky self. Couldn’t just drop down there, I hadta get down there in this flashy and … now that I look back on it - okay, it was still awesome, but really stupid way.” I smiled a little at his comment and softly caressed his arms, but stayed quiet, letting him talk. “If I hadn’t done what I’d done, if I hadn’t been so damned arrogant, I wouldn’t’ve landed us right smack down in the middle of a spot where we coulda been so easily surrounded. I put us in a place where we had no cover, had no place to hide, no easy way to get out. Nothin’. And then - THEN - I went and did the dumbest, most stupidest - just stupidest? - Anyway, most idiotic thing ever. I was beat to shit but staggered right up to ‘em - all of ‘em - who weren’t just above me but surroundin’ me, asked ‘em if that was all they had, then called Sundance out, right there, and asked her to help me out.”

I closed my eyes, internally wincing. A Guardian knows better. You NEVER call your Ghost out when surrounded by enemies. Never under fire. Not without getting under cover, out of sight, something to protect your Ghost. Now I understood why he kept saying it was his fault. And my constantly telling him it wasn’t - that wasn’t helping him. He’d made a mistake. A costly one. And I knew he felt absolutely heartbroken over it and would regret it for however long he lived this life. 

I turned around in his arms and looked at him, holding his cheek in my hand, caressing just under his eye with the pad of my thumb. He held onto my wrist and closed his eyes, shaking his head. “My fear of loss hasn’t changed, Ais,” he uttered, then opened his eyes and looked at me, the soft glow of his optics seeming dimmer than normal in his sadness. “And I’m terrified I’m gonna do somethin’ arrogant and stupid again only it’ll cost me you next time.”

I shook my head. “Shhhhh. Come’ere,” I uttered and eased him into a hug.

Cayde didn’t have fingernails, but I could still feel the tips of his fingers digging into me, hard, as he held onto me as tight as he could. That was when I sensed a rush of panic welling up in him, shaking his head. “I can’t lose you,” he whispered, voice shaking. “Of all the things I’ve lost in this life, I can’t lose you, too,” he barely managed. “I can’t. I can’t, I can’t …” he uttered, shaking his head, starting to hyperventilate.

“Cayde?” I tried to ease him back to look at him but he had hold of me so tight, he wouldn’t budge. Ghost appeared, apparently sensing and hearing the panic in Cayde and looked at him then at me, twitching with worry. “Sweetheart, you need to calm down, okay? I’m right here. Nothing’s going to take me away from you, I promise. You hear me? … Cayde?”

Eventually, he gave a quick nod and I felt him forcing himself to breathe properly. “There you go,” I murmured, rubbing his back. My mind was reeling. I’d never seen him so scared - so panicked. And he’d gone up against some serious stuff in his lifetime. There was very little that surprised him, let alone scared him.

When I felt the low tremble start through him, I scooted us back and got the passenger seat turned. “Sit down,” I murmured. “I’m not going anywhere,” I assured. “Just sit.” Reluctantly, he let me go and sat, hunching over, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. As I crouched down in front of him, he glanced at me and shook his head then rested it back in his hands. I stood and got a bottle of bourbon and a cup, pouring a little in it, and brought it back to him. “Here,” I said. 

He looked up and took the cup, downing the contents in one gulp, wincing at the burn, then handed the cup back to me. “Want another one?” I asked and he nodded, so I poured him one more and gave it to him, setting the bottle down as he sipped at this one this time. I leaned back against the console beside him and rubbed his back. I knew the alcohol in the bourbon wouldn’t have any affect. It wasn’t that horrid green synthetic stuff made for Exos to simulate alcohol that actually did get them drunk. But I knew the familiar and warm flavor of the bourbon would help relax him some, regardless.

“Better?” I softly asked and he nodded and leaned sideways into me, against my stomach, taking another sip from the cup. I started softly caressing the side of his head and down the side of his neck before putting my arm around him. He sighed. “Okay, so, total freak out,” he uttered. “The way things’ve been goin’ lately, that should mean I’ll come up with a fantastic joke here any minute now.”

I smirked at the comment and leaned over, kissing the top of his head.

He glanced up at me and offered a weak smile, then finished off what was in the cup and set it down next to the bottle and sighed, leaning back into the chair. I looked at him as he held his hand out to me and took it. He gave it a squeeze then tugged me to him, pulling me into his lap and put his arms around me, pressing his face into my shoulder. 

“You know, if you wanted me to sit in your lap, you could’ve just asked me. You didn’t have to go through _all_ this,” I told him, stroking the back of his head and neck.

He snorted, his shoulders shaking as he silently laughed, then lifted his head, looking up at me. “I love that you get me,” he said and I gave him a kiss, smiling against his lips.

“I love you,” I softly told him, tenderly caressing his cheeks. “And nothing’s going to happen to me,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean, really, I’ve defeated gods. I think I can handle a handsome, cunning … adventurous … sometimes childish but always very sweet Exo.”

“Childish?” Cayde sputtered, eyebrows rising. I laughed.

“Oh, that is just -” He started tickling my sides.

“Ah! Cayde!” I laughed even more, wriggling in his lap and countered it by getting him right in his arm pits, the only place I knew he was ticklish, too!

“Hey! Hey! No tickles back!” He squeaked in surprise, clamping his arms down over my hands.

I chuckled, looking at him, and he looked back at me then kissed me again, his lips lingering softly as he relaxed his arms, letting me slide my own around him as he rested his forehead against mine. “Oooh, thanks, Ais. I’m sorry I freaked out.” He shook his head a little. 

“It’s okay,” I murmured. 

“Yeah, but …” He shook his head again and sighed. “I really got to reel my issues in.”

“Talking about them is probably helping,” I offered. “Even if ‘freaking out’ happens.”

“I don’t wanna keep doing that to you,” Cayde said, shaking his head.

“Hey,” I softly murmured, then kissed just above the little spot where his nose was. “You remember early on, when you started sitting with me in the hanger, and you were trying to tell me about Andal, but it was too much and you started crying so you tried to leave?”

He winced but nodded. “Yeah,” he said, not opening his eyes.

“Do you remember what I did? What I said?” I asked.

He was quiet for a moment before I felt him relax even more, moving his head to my shoulder, the last of the tension in his body leaving. “You told me it was okay. That you had me. Then you called me your Little Firefly,” he murmured and I sensed warmth and love wash over him. “Then you held me. And, for the first time in … ever … I felt safe.” 

I smiled and nodded, then rested my head against his. “I’ve got you, Little Firefly,” I whispered. “Always will. No matter what. And you’re always safe with me.” 

I felt him hug me, tight, then lift his head and smile at me. “I love you, my beautiful Light,” he whispered. 

I smiled, deeply touched at hearing him call me that, and kissed him again. It was going to take time and work, I knew. But, eventually, Cayde would be alright.

 

According to the map from Spider, we had to go back to Soriks’s Cut to find Pirrha. 

“Now, remember,” Cayde said just after we transmatted down. “This guy uses decoys. Holograms. But they can fire at ya just like the real deal.” He double-checked his sniper rifle. “So watch yourself. And, Little Buddy?” He said, speaking to Ghost, “I don't care what happens. You don’t come out in the open for anything. You wait till we’re clear or under cover. Got it?”

“Got it, Cayde,” Ghost told him, his tone unusually soft in understanding. 

“You ready?” He asked me.

“Are you?” I gently asked.

He unchecked the safety on the sniper in answer and I nodded. “Remember …we’re one,” I told him. “That’s our advantage.”

He nodded and, together, we followed Pirrha’s trail.

“I’m picking up a signal …” Ghost said. “It seems to be coming from that old generator we were at when we followed the Trickster.”

Cayde gave a nod and he and I made our way back to it, dodging Cabal as we could, taking out others where it couldn’t be avoided. All the kills went down quietly, not alerting others in the area, thanks to Cyade and his hunting knife.

I actually enjoyed watching him work and it often made me wonder just what he had been like as a human. What had led him into this kind of work. Hell, I just wondered what he’d been like as a kid.

I bet he’d been a handful.

“The signal’s coming from up above,” Ghost told us, once we got to the base of the generator. We followed the ramp up to the top, following the signal ping Ghost managed to lock onto, until we got up to the very top. 

“There,” Cayde whispered, pointing to a couple boxes of ammo and a riffle laying near a barred opening that looked out over the Cut. “Stay over to the side,” he told me, easing me over behind him as he crouched and stepped closer to the spot. “If he’s watching, he could have the window in his sites,” he explained. I nodded and followed him over, staying low.

Even as Guardians, getting shot and killed wasn’t the best thing. 

I watched as Cayde looked the spot over then picked up a used rifle shell, bringing it up to his nose, sniffing it. “This has been here a while,” he said, setting it back down.

“Ah … Target practice!” We suddenly heard over the comms just before a bullet whizzed by Cayde’s head, lodging in the metal wall behind us. Cayde instinctively pushed me back behind him even further as he peered out the open window. He quickly snapped his head back just as another bullet zipped by. “Told Hiraks it wasn’t possible. We all saw it. That bastard Hunter, Cayde-6, was good as dead. Looks like ‘good as’ wasn’t good enough. But, don’t worry. I’ll finish what King Uldren started. I’ll send you to see your precious Ghost soon enough.” He laughed and I felt the anger rising in Cayde. I set my hand on his shoulder as I stayed calm and collected, hoping the way I was feeling was something Cayde would pick up on and use it to keep himself from doing something rash.

He looked back at me and nodded, his eyes softening.

“I’ve got a lock on him,” Ghost said and I saw the ping show up on the radar. Cayde didn’t have a helmet anymore and was just wearing his cloak with his armor, but he did have a tracker built in to the metal band on his wrist and pressed the side of it, making it flip open to show him the direction we needed to go. “Got it,” he nodded and we made our way back down, staying low and out of sight.

When we got down to the bottom, I watched the direction of the ping Ghost had up and cautiously looked out over the area in that direction, spotting something standing atop the massive grouping of cables that twisted and wound their way from the generator, far off in the distance. “Cayde …” I squeezed his arm and pointed off toward it. He nodded. “Yeah. I see him.”

“Can you hit him from here?” I asked.

He shook his head. “He’s a few meters off. We need to get a little closer.”

“What was he using to shoot at you, then?” I asked.

“Likely an Eliksni modified and banned rifle,” Cayde said. “Come on. Stay low.”

We scurried in between the metal domed huts and used them and the large rocks as cover until we got close enough Cayde could line Pirrha up in his sights. “Remember the Knight on the rocks above us from yesterday?” He asked me.

I nodded and he looked at me. I smirked, even though he couldn’t see it, then went to the other side of the rock to get Pirrha’s attention, deliberately sticking my own rifle out too far, letting the purple light of the nebula beyond shine off the metal, catching his cybernetic eye. I peeked around the rock just enough to see he’d spotted me, raising his rifle before quickly turning it to the other side of the rock and firing.

I heard Cayde yelp and hiss and I quickly spun around, scurrying back to where he was, seeing him grabbing at the right side of his cheek, black blood oozing from between his gloved fingers. “Damn it,” he painfully growled. 

I grabbed him and yanked him into the nearby hut, out of the Rifleman’s sights. “Let me see,” I gently coxed, taking his hand, easing it away. I winced at what I saw. Pirrha’s shot had taken the plate under his eye right off and cut through the base metal and silicone underneath, making him bleed. “Ghost, we’re in the clear. Heal him,” I said, keeping an eye out anyway as Ghost appeared, moving to Cayde’s face.

“Ouch,” I heard Ghost utter when he saw the injury, a soft beam of light touching Cayde’s cheek, making it whole again.

Cayde blinked, breathing a sigh of relief. He reached up and touched his cheek and nodded. “Thanks, Little Buddy. Now, outta sight,” he said, then looked at me as Ghost disappeared. “Looks like old tricks aren’t gonna work. He picked up his sniper and looked at the broken sight lens. “Great,” he muttered. 

I reached into my pack and pulled a back up lens out. “Will this work?”

He took it, and disconnected the broken one then attached mine before lifting it to his eye, adjusting the sight on it, and nodding. “Thanks, beautiful,” he smiled.

“Anytime, handsome,” I smiled back. “So, now what?”

“First, we see where he went. I doubt he’d still be standin’ in the same place. Then, we try again.”

Cayde had been right. Pirrha had moved to a new position and tried firing on Cayde again, then on me. When we managed to get a couple lucky shots at him, he disappeared in a puff of ether. We ended up playing tag with him, chasing him over the rooftops of the domes and other small buildings in the Cut, also having to dodge and shoot at invading Cabal that came into the area. Eventually, Pirrha’s rifle ammo ran out and he switched to the Void arrow crossbow I’d seen him with back at the prison. I sensed an icy chill run through Cyade when he saw it, followed by a resurgence of anger as he picked up his rifle and fired at Pirha again.

We eventually backed him off enough he retreated with a low growl of frustration, heading for the Jetsam of Saturn.

When we got there, we saw he was perched up by the Hive tomb ship. As I brought the sparrow around, I fired my scout rifle at him and he crumbled into nothing. “You … missed … hahaha.”

“It was one-a the decoys,” Cayde said, hopping off the back of the sparrow, rifle raised as he scanned the area. I jumped off with him and put my back to his as we looked all around.

“My scanner shows it’s some kind of lightweight simulation tech,” Ghost said. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Yeah, it’s all reeeeeeal fascinating unless it’s being used against ya,” Cayde said.

“I’m not seeing anything. Where the hell is he?” I asked. 

“Waiting,” Cayde said. “He ain’t stupid. He’s got a plan.”

“Hey, that decoy dropped something, Ghost suddenly said. “It’s a piece of the tech. We should grab it.”

“Now?!” Cayde asked in disbelief.

“No, later, Cayde, after the Hive have had a chance to get their hands on it,” Ghost quipped back.

Cayde made an exasperated sound.

“I’ll get it. You put your back to the ship,” I told him.

“Watch your six. And your twelve. Watch every number. Just … be careful,” Cayde said, moving toward the ship, looking everywhere.

I got myself up to where the piece of tech had dropped and collected it, using the spot to see if I could see where Pirrha had gone. “I don’t see anything, do you?” I asked Cayde.

“Nothin’,” Cayde said.

“Ghost, you picking anything up?” I asked.

“No,” Ghost said.

“He’s still playing the waiting game. He wants to get us out in the open,” Cayde said.

“He’s not going to show unless we do,” I nodded. “Alright, then. I’ll go out. You keep a lookout,” I said.

“Right,” Cayde replied. “Go for it. I gotchya.”

I went out, away from the ship, closer to where the cables holding the asteroid were. That’s when I heard this strange pixelated sound nearby. “What was that?”

I heard Cayde’s rifle go off. “Babe, to your left! Eleven o’clock! Up at the cable support!”

I looked where he’d instructed and spotted the decoy. “Got him!” I double-jumped and lined the hologram up in my sights, firing. It crumpled and another piece of tech fell. When I landed, I grabbed it up. “Hologram destroyed and I got more of that tech,” I told Cayde.

“Damn,” he uttered. “I mean, good, but damn.”

I nodded. I knew what he meant. 

We ended up chasing more holograms around the Jetsam for a while, destroying them as they appeared. “He’s trying to tire us out - use up our ammo,” I said to Cayde over the comm.

“Yup, that’s what I was thinkin’, too,” Cayde said. “Least we’re gettin’ some of that tech, though. Might be worth somethin’.”

“Caaaaayde,” I chided.

“Okay, okay. We’ll bring it back to Zavala. Party-pooper,” he sighed.

I chuckled.

As chasing the decoys went on, we ended up having to fend off Hive as well, all of which started coming out, drawn to the gunfire. It was making things harder and also eating up the ammo. Cayde kept swearing under his breath every time he ended up having to reload.

It got real fun when the Scorn also joined in on the party and we had to hold off following the decoys and fighting off groups of them. We ended up regrouping in a cave just under the ship. “How are you on ammo?” I asked Cayde, catching my breath as I leaned against the wall for a moment. That last group of Scorn had given me a run for my glimmer! 

“Low,” Cayde said.

I reached into my pack and pulled a couple boxes of the rifle ammo out, handing them to him. “That’s the last I got for that gun,” I told him.

He nodded, his fingers brushing against mine affectionately in thanks as he took the boxes from me. “You holdin’ up okay? Doin’ an awful lotta running and jumping out there.”

“Hey, I gotta keep this ass looking great for you somehow, don’t I?” I asked, grinning.

He snickered. “Ooh - ho! Now the real motive comes out!”

I chuckled and put my arm around his shoulders, giving him an affectionate hug. “Okay, so, I’m going to go back out, clear out that last group, see if it’ll draw Pirrha back out. Think you can keep the Hive off me?”

“You got it,” he nodded.

I cleared out more of the Scorn while Cayde kept the Hive back. In the process, Cayde also took out one of the decoys, alerting me. I went and collected the piece of tech it dropped and fought off Hive that had rushed up after it as well.

“Aislin,” Ghost said. “Those pieces of tech are giving off a signal to the main source. Looks like it’s coming from under the ship.”

“Cayde?” I said.

“Heard him. On my way. Meet ya there.”

I fought off several more Scorn and a few Hive and, by the time I got to the entrance, Cayde was already there, casually picking off members of both groups as they chased me, finishing off the last one, a Hive Acolyte, just as I made it to him. “Heeey. What took ya so long?” He asked, shouldering the rifle and shrugging at me innocently.

“Funny. You’re a funny man,” I told him, grabbing his hand and yanking him inside.

 

As we made our way through the tunnel that led us down, we heard laughter come over the comm. “King Uldren wants you dead, Guardian. I’ll bring him your body. As for Cayde … I’m gonna finish what I started at the prison, then melt him down. I hear Exo metal makes great armor!” He laughed. “Don’t worry about your Ghost. I’ll sell it’s shell to Spider!” He laughed again. “Or maybe mount it on my wall … next to Cayde’s!” He laughed even louder at that.

I took Cayde’s hand and gave it a gentle but reassuring squeeze, feeling him squeeze back. We both knew Pirrha was full of shit. We had Sundance’s shell. He was just saying it to taunt Cayde. Still, I could sense his anger and sadness. His desire to make Pirrha pay for killing her.

Further into the asteroid we not only had more of Pirrha’s decoys to fight off, but Hive and Scorn. Of course, the Hive didn’t seem too keen on Pirrha or the Scorn being in there and were trying to fight them off and us.

In the end, Cayde and I were the only two walking away, heading deeper in to where Pirrha had retreated to.

The cave Pirrha had claimed as his own was large with three strange black bent pillars in the canter toward the back, the bases gunked up with Hive resin. Each had circular red lights up the front side, making them almost look like three big black tentacles sticking up out of the cave floor. “What _is_ that?” I asked as we came up on the entrance, crouched down.

Cayde shook his head. “No idea,” he said. “But I don’t see our boy anywhere.”

There was suddenly deep, taunting laughter off to our left and the top part of the rock beside me shattered, pieces of it cascading down over us. “He sees us,” I said and fired at the decoy that appeared nearby, both of us backing away from it and around to the other side, further into the cave. I took out the decoy then heard Cayde firing behind me and looked to see him taking another one out that was standing on top of the resin at the center pillar. As soon as the decoy shattered, the real Pirrha appeared in its place.

“I see you!” He taunted, laughing, then started firing at Cayde, who ducked and rolled behind one of the resin clusters, reloading. To get Pirrha off him and buy him time, I opened fire, getting off a couple hits, making Pirrha hiss at me before teleporting to another spot as several decoys appeared all at once, all of them firing at us.

“Oh, shit,” I uttered and shot as many as I could, hearing Cyade’s gun going off next to me, every now and again, one of the decoys ending up being Pirrha himself, giving us a couple lucky shots, wearing him down.

It eventually got to the point we knew he was getting desperate as his injuries got worse. More decoys would appear but his ability to slip away was slower. He was getting weaker and no longer laughing. He was becoming like a cornered and injured animal, his attacks more vicious.

When I rejoined Cayde behind one of the rocks near the entrance to the cave, my armor was pretty badly dinged and damaged from the Void arrows but Cayde was bleeding, having gotten hit in his arm, in his thigh, and down near his ankle. 

“Cayde …” I uttered in concern and he put his hand up.

“No, no. Don’t worry about it,” he told me, catching his breath. He peeked up over the rock only to get shot at. He ducked his head back down, the Void arrow just missing him. “Damn,” he uttered. “He’s on the ledge just above us to the right.” He took a minute, obviously thinking. “Okay,” he nodded, then looked at me. “Right. You trust me?”

Oh shit. Nothing good ever came of anyone ever saying that in a gunfight. I nodded, though. I did trust him.

“You follow my lead. You’ll know what to do and when. We move as one, remember?” He said, emphasizing the phrase. I squinted my eyes at him as I tilted my head, trying to figure out what he was trying to say, but he gave me a bit of a nod as if to say ‘trust me’ once again, so I nodded.

“We move as one,” I said.

Cayde dropped his rifle and pulled out his canon, then, before I could say or do anything else, he stood up and started firing at Pirrha and yelling at him. “You want me, you one-eyed murderin’ piece of shit?! Here I am!” Pirrha let out a deafening howl and slammed his massive foot down, rattling the ground but Cayde kept firing, unfazed, his right hand steady, his left slamming down on the canon’s hammer, rapidly bringing it back before each shot. 

What in the hell was he doing?! This wasn’t moving as one! I watched in a mix of horror and amazement, something telling me to stay put for the moment as Cayde shot at him a few times, even managing to disable one of Pirrha’s arms, leaving it broken from the force of the bullet and dangling at his side, the Baron yowling in agony, stumbling back. He snarled at Cayde, raising his weapon, and Cayde got another shot off, this time hitting him right in the side of the face, shattering teeth! The shot caused the Baron to cry out again as he spun around and crumbled to one knee for a brief moment then roar and quickly twist back around, firing.

It was like slow motion as I watched the Void arrow fly through the air, right at Cayde, and hit him dead in the chest, knocking him back. Cayde stumbled and fell to the ground on his back and I heard Pirrha laughing. “Looks like I got some new armor!” 

“Cayde!” I rushed to him and dropped to my knees, keeping myself down and out of Pirrha’s sight as I crawled up to him to check on him.

Cayde was gasping as he held his chest and looked at me then shook his head and gave me a wink just as the light in his eyes faded out.

It was then I understood what he’d been saying.

I stood and turned, glaring at Pirrha through my helmet then yelled and opened fire as I ran out from behind the rock we’d been using for cover. Pirrha did his best to dodge my bullets, but caught a couple in his upper shoulder and one in the palm of his lower right hand. He growled at me and fired back, catching me right in my left knee, dropping me down to the ground, bracing myself on my right, leaving me bowing before him.

I panted and lifted my head, looking up at him as he lowly chuckled, his laughter laced with obvious pain from his injuries, but also arrogant smugness. He’d thought he’d won. He leveled his Void crossbow at me. “You’ll have to take out your Ghost sometime and I’m very patient,” he said. “You should have known better than to bring a Lightless Guardian with you, even if it will give me a good trophy.” He chuckled again.

“Well,” I panted, “you’re right about one thing. I will have to take my Ghost out. But you’re not going to be here to see it.”

I heard Cayde’s hurried footsteps come right up behind me then felt his right foot land on my shoulder. Just as it did, I pushed myself up, hard and fast, catapulting him up into the air. He leapt, straight up, becoming alight in flames. I saw Pirrha following him with the crossbow but so obviously shocked by what he was seeing, it made him pause, giving Cayde the opportunity he’d wanted. Three quick shots rang out, one hitting Pirrha in the stomach, one in the chest, and the final one right in the head.

Pirrha stumbled back and dropped to his knees just as Cayde landed on his feet in front of him, his flames fading as the power of the bullets from his Golden Gun started to burn away at Pirrha’s body. “That’s for my Sundance, you son-of-a-bitch,” Cayde lowly told him, just as Pirrha’s whole body fizzled up into burning embers then crumpled to the ground, becoming nothing but ash.

I sagged with relief as I felt some semblance of peace wash over Cayde, then dropped back down onto my good knee, wincing with pain before Cayde made his way back down to me with Ghost, healing me.

I looked up at him, then pulled him down into my arms and hugged him, both of us sitting there together with Ghost for a long while after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More soon!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here's the next chapter! Took a little longer than planned. Sorry. We had that winter storm come through the mid-west right up here into New England and got almost 2 feet that was a joy to clean up and, on top of that, I have a dog that got a stomach cold and that's been oh so fun. I've also been reading lore, trying to match this up as best I could cause we don't have Cayde in the game at this point and it was a bit of work trying to find what he does for sure know and also try to figure out what he may or may not know based on that lore. So, yeah. LOL! Anyway, hope you enjoy and I'll have more soon! Soon-ish? Hopefully soon. Depends on what kind of pain Fikrul and Uldren give me! LOL! But there will be more ASAP! :) . Thanks for being patient! Oh, and sorry if there are typos. My eyeballs are gonna roll out of my head at this point. But, as usual, I'll look it over a few times after posting, the new format usually allows me to see them and fix them. 
> 
> ~Ais

“So, I was just talking with Petra,” Cayde said as I came out of the bathroom. “Get this … Prince Lackey-Ass was down on Earth and stole a piece off one of the Traveler’s shards,” he said, leaning up against the ship’s console, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at me.

I paused, staring at him, then scrunched up my face in disbelieving confusion. “What?”

“Yeah,” he scoffed, nodding. “Word through the Fallen grapevine made its way back to Petra and she followed him to that spot you went to to get your Light back during the War. Apparently he used yours truly’s gun to break a piece off and left with it. She took a shot at him but missed and got chased by the Fallen there.”

“She’s alright?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“What would he want with a piece of the Traveler?”

“Well, see, that’s where it gets interesting. I asked her that, too. She got real quiet then asked how we were doing with the Barons.”

“So, she knows why he took it,” I said, going over to him, leaning back against the console with him.

He nodded. “Or at least has an idea. But, as usual, pulling the Awoken Secrets card.”

“And, even if you’re a friend, you’re not Awoken, so she’s not going to tell you, and I’m not Reef-Born, so she won’t tell me, either. This is going to go well.”

“Mmm,” he nodded then shivered. 

I looked over at him. “Are you cold again?” I asked.

“A little,” he admitted. 

I tugged him over and put my arms around him. “I’m starting to think you’re totally faking just to get cuddles,” I affectionately teased.

He chuckled a little. “I’m not, but now that you’ve given me the idea, I may get chilly more often.”

I smirked and rubbed his arms as I looked down at his armor. “Cayde … Before the other day, you’ve never really needed anything to keep you warm, have you?” I asked.

“No, not really, why?”

“Cause it just dawned on me that your usual armor isn’t made like most other Guardian’s armor. You don’t have the tech built into it.”

“So …?” He asked, looking at me.

I lifted his arm and moved a little flat panel back on the side under the chest piece and inspected it. When I saw it was off, I sighed and smiled, then pressed the button there, turning the suit’s heating and cooling system on, setting it to regulate his temperature for cooler weather.

Cayde’s eyes widened. “Oh!”

“Feel that?” I asked.

“It’s warm,” he said, looking himself over as the suit’s internal system heated.

“Yeah,” I nodded, smirking. “You’re not used to the temperature regulating system. As the temperature drops, it’ll warm you up. If it gets hotter out, it’ll keep you cool.”

He sighed and practically flopped against me making me grunt. “Ooooooh, it’s like bein’ in a warm bath,” he murmured, sounding like he was in heaven.

I chuckled and put my arms around him. “I’m so sorry. I thought you knew.”

“I probably did but it was another one-a those things Ikora or Zavala talked about and I zoned out cause I didn’t think it applied to me. Exo and all. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t feel temperature changes. They just never bothered me. But … Ooooh, Ais. Thank you. This feels so much better. I’m never takin’ this suit off.”

I snickered, shaking my head. “You silly man,” I affectionally said. “Have you really been running around this whole time, cold?”

“I was trynna get used to it. Thought it was just me.”

I shook my head again. “I suddenly wish we were home. I’d love to draw you a real hot bath and enjoy it with you.”

“Mmmm. Something to look forward to,” he murmured, sounding almost like he could nod off right now.

I smiled. 

“You know, it’s possible he took a piece of the shard cause he thinks it might bring his sister back,” Cayde murmured.

“Hmm? What are you talking about?”

“Mara. The Queen. Uldren’s been babbling to her since we found him and brought ‘im in. Somethin’ was wrong with him. He went mad. Variks wanted to try and fix him but Petra wouldn’t allow it. Wouldn’t allow any experiments done on him. Guess she thought it was better he be thought dead, all things considered.” He shook his head. “I thought maybe, hangin’ with the Fallen like he was, he mighta gotten into ether. That stuff can mess ya up good. But …” he shook his head. “This was mad even beyond that.” He lifted his head and looked at me. “Never liked the dude. Not cause he was a ‘bad guy’. He was never _bad_. But he was an asshole. It was his personality that got my hackles up. With his sister, too. But, whatever happened to him after that fight with Oryx … Maybe somethin’ happened to him on Mars, maybe just losin’ his sister - that co-dependence he had … whatever it was, it really messed him up. And I ain’t speculatin’, but sometimes that co-dependent thing got real creepy so … who knows what that mighta done to him. It ain’t no excuse for all he’s done, though. But it might explain the why and why he took the shard.”

I frowned. It was very possible. Cayde was right about that weird relationship he had with Mara. He was seriously devoted to her. Her death could have very well made him snap. “What about the Barons? If we are on the right trail of why Uldren’s doing what he’s doing, how do the Barons tie in?”

Cayde shook his head. “They’re workin’ for him. How and why and that whole deal? Don’t know the details. Just that they answer to Uldren and that he and Fikrul are thick as thieves. Calls Uldren ‘Father’. Seriously, this dude and the creepy relationships …” He shuddered. “But, when trouble started up in the Reef, and with the Queen gone, Petra called me and my Six in. I mean, I wanted Zavala to allow the Awoken to come into the city. He finally agreed but …” He shook his head. “Petra was stubborn and that old hurt Zavala felt - which I totally get now - they couldn’t help the digs at each other. Petra refused, talkin’ about how the Reef had its purpose that the Queen wanted and … Yeah, it didn’t end well. Figured least I could do was try and help another way. That’s how I got mixed up in goin’ after the Barons which led me to Uldren.” His shoulders slumped a little. “Didn’t seem to do a helluva lot. Reef’s still gone to shit and the prison is tore up. Scorn are loose, Uldren’s off his rocker - ”

“You’re not responsible for any of it, sweetheart,” I assured him. “I know how you’ve been feeling. Even without the bond. Believe me, I know,” I gently told him, hugging him back against me. “All the big missions I’ve been on since waking up in this world,” I murmured, stroking the back of his head. “Every time I stepped in to try and help, it always felt like I was making things worse. Especially when the bad guys got away and things would snowball. I’d get overwhelmed. But I kept at it. I was relentless. And, in the end - and with help - I beat the Darkness back. And that’s exactly what you and I are going to do here.”

I felt him hug my waist before he lifted his head and gave me a soft kiss, nodding. “You’re never one to give up, that I know,” he murmured. 

“Neither are you,” I murmured back, smiling. 

He kissed me one last time then we finished suiting back up, loading up on more ammo, especially heavy weapons and ammo - considering who we were going up against - and headed back down to the Shore in search of Elykris, the Machinist. 

 

Seemed Soriks’s Cut was the popular hideout spot for most of the Barons, according to the map. Once Cayde and I made our way past some Cabal, we found ourselves in territory very similar to The Rider’s with that same horrid molten acidic oil in pools all over the place within the rusted and corroded structure that took us partially down inside the asteroid and out the other side. It was another area of the Shore that looked to have been partially under construction for whatever this place was going to be made into before the Collapse. 

“I’ve got an incoming message from Spider,” Ghost said as I crouched down, surveying the area, Cayde coming up beside me.

“Patch him through,” I said.

“Ah, my Friend,” Spider greeted in a lively garbling tone. “Look at you. If our prodigal prince is not yet afraid of you and your _partner_ … He should be. Six down … yet the strongest three remain. Of the prince and his pet Fanatic, reports are few. However, your bloodbath has forced the Machinist out of hiding. Moreover, I hear she's amassing great quantities of corrupted Ether - to grow the Fanatic's depraved armies. When you two pay the Machinist a visit, I urge you to destroy any and all caches of their vile ambrosia. And by the way? Death suits you.” With that, the feed ended.

“Oh, he likes you,” Cayde said. 

I looked over at him. “You think?” I smirked. “Should I ask him out?” I joked.

Cayde chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t let the charm fool ya. He’ll cut your throat if you cross him wrong.”

“I know,” I nodded, still smirking. “I’ll bet you have stories.”

“I always have stories,” Cayde said, grinning as only an Exo could. 

I snickered and looked out at the broken open hull and bent beams and rebar of the structure before us that looked to have once been a large domed great room of some kind. “Ghost, what have you got on Elykris?”

“She’s Fikrul’s right hand. Commands an arsenal of stolen tech. Human, Awoken, Fallen, Cabal … anything she can get her hands on.”

I glanced over at Cayde. “No shopping,” I told him.

“Not even a mug?” Cayde asked, sounding disappointed.

“What is it with you and mugs?” I asked him.

“It’s a souvenir that’s functional! And, come on, be honest, can you see me with magnets?”

I snorted. He was such a goof.

We made our way in a bit further, staying low and quiet as we came up on a metal ledge, Scorn lookouts idling around the area. As I looked around, something caught my eye, making me grin. “Hey, handsome, I can do you better than a mug.” I pointed down below to, of all things, a tank.

I heard Cayde suck in an excited gasp, seeing his eyes widen when he spotted the tank, a thrill washing over him.

I smirked. “We’ll have to clear out those Scorn to get to it, but if it’s functional …”

Cayde was already pulling his sniper out and started picking off the Scorn. I covered him, taking out the ones that had scurried away from his fire, moving in smoky trails of dark ether up ramps and off walkways and bridges between smaller pod-shaped buildings within the broken structure to get better shots at us. They certainly loved those weapons of theirs that shot out circular blades of Void energy. I caught one in my upper arm, the cut going deep, almost to the bone. It knocked me to the side a bit and I hissed, trying to ignore the pain as best I could. It both burned and felt like it was freezing at the same time, as well as stung like hell. It made my whole arm ache. I kept covering Cayde, though, throwing up a shield off to our right to block the heavier fire until we managed to widdle them down, Cayde taking out the last of them.

“We’re clear,” I said, looking around, grabbing at my arm. I felt Cayde’s hand on my shoulder, turning me as we crouched back down, looking around one more time before his eyes settled on my arm. He eased my hand away, wincing a little at the blood. “Gotchya good there,” he said and brought Ghost out to heal me.

“I hate when I get hit with Void energy. Damn stuff hurts the worst of them all,” I managed, voice a bit strained. That one really hurt. I was used to Ghost being with me, healing me almost immediately. Having to share him made things a bit different. 

“It keeps going cold, hot, cold, hot on toppa the pain?” Cayde asked.

I nodded. 

“Yeah, that’s the Void,” he nodded, watching it heal up before Ghost disappeared again. He touched my arm as I sighed with relief, thanking Ghost, and gently rubbed his thumb over the spot where the gash was. I softly smiled, even though he couldn’t see it through my helmet, and pet his hand. “I’m okay now,” I assured, and he nodded, easing his hand away. I looked over the edge at the tank. “Let’s go check it out.”

We hopped down and went over to the tank, looking it over.

“This tank is City-made,” Ghost said scanning it from his hidden spot tucked away with Cayde. “Machinist has good taste, I'll give her that.”

“Amanda worked on this,” Cayde said as he walked around it, checking it out. “I recognize the joins on the welding.”

“I wonder where the Machinist found it and how it got all the way out here?” I said.

He shook his head. “Could’ve been used in some fight at some point and left on the battlefield. Part of the scrap they picked up.”

“Looks like everything's working - except the two most important parts: the turret and the nav module,” Ghost told us. “But we _are_ in a junkyard. I've ID'd some possible replacements nearby.”

“Turret’s going to be the best one to find first,” I said. “Where is it?” I asked Ghost and he put a ping up on my radar. 

“I gotchya,” Cayde said, checking the barrel on his hand cannon and spinning it on his finger.

I smiled and we headed for the turret, getting ambushed by a few Scorn along the way which we easily disposed of. Cayde picked the turret up with a grunt. “I just love big guns!” He said, carrying it back to the tank in a bit of a suggestive way. I shook my head, smirking. Boys. 

“This turret's seen better days,” Ghost said as we hefted it over, “but I can make it work.”

I helped Cayde get it hooked up to the tank and Ghost made the final connections., adjusting a few things with it before giving it a test fire, which went through a weakened metal wall and blew up something on the other side. 

“Oops,” Ghost muttered.

“Well, that’s going to get someone’s attention,” Cayde said and, sure enough, Scorn started appearing. 

“Sorry,” Ghost muttered.

“It’s alright.” There was nothing that could be done about it now. “Where’s the nav module?” I asked, taking a few of them out. 

“Up that ramp,” Ghost told us as he put the ping up on my radar. “I’ll cover you.”

Cayde nodded and made a running leap for the ramp, shooting a couple Scorn as he hurried up toward the point Ghost had marked, me right on his heels. 

We ran into one of the larger Scorn at the top, wielding flaming maces. I ducked as it swung and shot at it’s knee, knocking it down while Cayde finished it off. “That’s bigger than I thought it’d be,” Cayde said, once he saw the nav module, but picked it up anyway, hefting it over his right shoulder.

“You got it okay?” I asked, eyes widening. I had to admit, it was kind of sexy seeing him pick up big, heavy things!

“Yeah, yeah,” He nodded. “Just cover me,” he said as we made our way back down. I gaped a bit, my eyes moving over his bicep that I could see, even through the armor, was nicely flexed. If it wasn’t for the damn Scorn being a nuisance, I likely would have ogled him all the way back to the tank!

Cayde got the module down and lifted it into place, Ghost making the connection as Cayde made sure it was secured. 

“Your chariot awaits,” Ghost told us.

Cayde did a little happy bounce then hopped up on top of it, offering me his hand as I climbed up behind him. I took it and he smiled at me. “I can’t wait to tell Zavala I got to drive a tank again!” He practically squeaked in his excitement.

“So you have driven one before?” I asked as we both got down inside it, closing the top. 

“Back in the day,” he said as he sat down lower at the controls, looking them over while I took the seat just above and behind him. “One of the earlier attacks on the City by the Fallen. First time I met Zavala. Neither of us were a Vanguard back then. May explain why he hasn’t been too proactive in letting me drive another one.”

“What did you do?” I asked, smiling. 

“Well, I may have kinda … sorta … driven the tank into a Fallen Walker and blew it up.”

“That doesn’t sound horrible,” I said.

“I took out a chunk of the City wall in the process,” Cayde added. 

“Oh,” I uttered. That wasn’t good.

“BUT, in my defense, we were out of ammo - even the tank - low on troops, and it was either take it out there or it was going to blast an even bigger hole in the wall and come into the City, so, I weighed the options and thought that was the better choice. I think Zavala eventually agreed, he just never fully admitted it … or let me have a tank again.”

I chuckled and nodded, petting his shoulders. I saw the logic there. All things considered, yeah, that was likely the best choice they had in the moment. “Wish I’d been there to see that.” 

He looked over his shoulder, practically grinning at me. “It was awesome!” He flipped a couple switches then took hold of the control sticks. “Ready?”

“Don’t blow us up,” I affectionately teased, but nodded.

He snickered and shook his head. “Lead the way, little buddy,” he said to Ghost, who linked our radar to the one on the tank. Of course, as soon as we were ready to go, more Scorn appeared. “Ah. Now it’s a party!” Cayde cheered and marked the Scorn on the missile tracker and set them off, the missiles seeking them out while he aimed the cannon at a larger group and fired, the tank pushing back a little from the force, the explosion sending a half dozen Scorn cartwheeling through the air in a fiery ball. Cayde cheered and laughed. “Yeah, that’s right! I got a tank this time, ya little shits!”

I snorted, enjoying watching and listening to Cayde. It was definitely a side to him I knew was there but hadn’t really had the chance to experience with him having always been stuck in the Tower with Vanguard duty while I was the one on the field. 

Cayde ended up wiping out all the Scorn that came in, then blew open a sealed door, taking us inside the structure where the signal Ghost had picked up was leading us. 

“Wow,” I uttered, looking around at the space that we came out into. “I wonder if this is the control station for where all those cables from the generator come in.”

“Possible,” Cayde nodded, looking around as well. “Never been to this part of the Shore before.”

“Bet that’s what this place was going to be,” I uttered to myself.

“Hmm?” Cayde asked.

“This place being a way station. It’s got power, loading docks, places for storing cargo, doing maintenance, buildings that could have been places for crews to stay, an area that looks like it might have been or was going to be a small town. I bet this was going to be a stopping point for ships coming and going, venturing out beyond our Solar System before the Collapse happened.”

“Oooh,” Cayde nodded. “Yeah. That’s what it looks like. There’s even a place back on Thieves Landing that, when I was here last - not too long ago - was acting as a bar. Probably was that at some point. Had music and everything. Spider and his crew hung out there. But, yeah, the rest of the whole place does look a lot like what you’re thinking.”

“This all would’ve been so cool to see finished. You know, to see what it could have been,” I admitted. 

I felt him pet my knee and saw he was looking back over his shoulder at me. “It may be again some day. And we might get to see it. That’s one’ve the things I liked about being out in the Wilds. Yeah, you see all the stuff that was lost but, when you squint, you can see what it could be again if we keep fighting for it.” 

I nodded and rubbed his shoulder, leaning over a bit as I gave him a one-armed hug. Cayde had a great deal of optimism despite all he’d seen and been though, and it was infectious, making me smile and lifting my spirits in the worst of times. I really didn’t know how I’d have continued to make it in this world without him.

“Guys?” Ghost said. “Sorry to interrupt, but I can’t get the barrier over there down. We’re going to have to find the external power source.”

I spotted the barrier Ghost had been talking about and nodded, petting Cayde’s shoulder. “I’ll do it. You keep down here clear,” I said as I got ready to leave the tank. 

“Take Ghost with you,” Cayde said. “I’ll be safe in here.”

I nodded and Ghost led me to where he’d traced the source to, getting the barrier down while Cayde handled more Scorn that were still trying to stop us, including a couple that had come in with Pikes, thinking they could take on a tank. I laughed as I watched Cayde blow them up. Idiots.

When we got done there, we made our way through the tunnel that had been blocked by the barrier, where we encountered four large tanks of ether. Cayde gleefully blew them up, shaking the entire structure and blowing open another sealed doorway, Cayde practically cackling with joy! 

“You enjoyed that waaaaaay too much,” I laughed. 

“We got more dark ether up ahead,” Ghost said. “It’s enough to raise a full army.”

“Then let’s take it out,” Cayde said, targeting the tanks as we rolled into the area, destroying a couple of them. The Scorn appeared in large numbers trying to stop us, among them a Walker tank. 

“You are not allowed to crash us into it to blow it up,” I told him.

“Awwwww,” Cayde pouted, then looked over his shoulder at me, winking, before he focused fire on it, swerving us back and forth to avoid getting hit, destroying it after a few good blows from the cannon. 

“Looks like we got another one to our left,” I told him, tapping his shoulder.

He checked the monitor, seeing the tank and turned us, opening fire on it, needing to use a mix of the cannon and the missiles due to where it was up on a platform. After he took it out, he focused fire back on the large tanks of ether while I kept watch on the incoming Scorn, using the missile launcher to keep them at bay. “I can’t get over how they think those tiny little POS Pikes are going to do much to this tank.”

“It’s not the damage, it’s slowin’ us down that’s the goal. Damage is just a bonus,” Cayde explained. “ Elykris is trynna get what tanks she does have set for transport out before we destroy those, too. Ghost? Buddy? Though that tunnel?”

“Yes, straight ahead, Cayde,” Ghost confirmed. 

“Where’s all this crap coming form, anyway?” I asked as Cayde drove us through the structure. “I know what ether is, but how do you get dark ether?”

“What I’ve pieced together and remember hearing Variks ramble on about, is it’s coming from Fikrul. He can generate it cause-a whatever Uldren did to him. If Fallen who aren’t Scorn breathe enough in, they’ll become Scorn, too. This isn’t food for those already turned, it’s to turn others.”

“And it can reanimate the dead on top of it? So anything we kill, Scorn or Fallen, if he’s got dark ether at his disposal, he can bring them back?”

Cayde nodded. “That’s what I’m figurin’.”

“So we pretty much have a limitless undead alien army led by a psychotic prince and an Eliksni fanatic sitting at our doorstep?” I asked.

“Pretty much,” Cayde nodded.

I sighed. “I miss Oryx.”

Cayde snorted.

 

After we made our way through the tunnels and hallways within the building, destroying more tanks and Scorn along the way, we came out the other side and I gaped. “Whoa. That’s … a very big scrapyard.” 

“The Machinist has been raiding cis-Jovian space for years,” Ghost said. “What she doesn't supply to the Barons, she adds to her hoard.”

“I bet I could find all kindsa cool stuff in there,” Cayde added, nodding.

“I told you, no shopping.”

“Just one little ray-gun?” Cayde asked. ‘One’, he mouthed, pinching his fingers together, looking up at me like a sad puppy.

“No,” I chuckled, giving him a playful shove. 

He chuckled back and drove the tank down into the yard further until we started encountering more Scorn trying to stop us.

“I’m starting to wish I’d kept score of how many you’ve taken out so far,” I said.

“One-hundred-twenty-six.” Cayde blew up a dark ether tanks next to a group of Scorn. “Ohh, make that thirty-one!” He cheered.

I should have known he was keeping score.

 

After taking care of the last of the Scorn in the scrapyard, Cayde and I saw there was a very large barrier blocking our way to the source of the signal Ghost had locked in on. Even once we got the barrier down, though, there was no way to get the tank beyond this point and Cayde bid it farewell with a kiss to his fingers, planting them on the console. “Later pal, it was fun,” he told the tank, then got out with me to manually take down the barrier at its terminal.

As soon as we eliminated the Scorn protecting it and Ghost hacked into it, shutting it down, Elykris came over the comms. “Shipments… away. All our weapons… to Fikrul and… the Awoken King.” She followed that by raining missiles down on our position. 

“Damnit! Go!” Cayde said, motioning me to run for where we’d taken down the barrier, following right behind me.

We found ourselves in an extension of the scrapyard, the walls made up of crushed and mangled debris formed together in large crumbled balls of scrap with one massive ship engine jury-rigged to provide both light and heat to the area. The center was a pool of that lava-like acid with a broken down Walker tank laying in the middle of it and, up above, there were red banners that were draped from old cables that criss-crossed over the area. 

“You’ve come here for revenge?” Elykris asked as she appeared, climbing up on top of the Walker tank, glaring at both of us before fixing her gaze on Cayde. “You should have died at the hand of our king. You’re nothing but a pathetic little robot; a piece of scrap I’m going to enjoy ripping apart.”

“Y’know,” Cayde said, casually checking his cannon, “it’s funny, but the other Barons said roughly the same thing and they’re all dead now. Don’t believe me? Give us a couple-a minutes and you can ask ‘em,” he nodded, then, without warning, dashed to his left, opening fire on her, just as I got a strange urge to do the same, only going to my right. Together, we circled her, hitting her from both sides, making it impossible for her to focus fire on either of us. She cried out in fury and crouched down, setting off the arsenal on her back, missiles flying out erratically just before she disappeared in a puff of dark ether.

Cayde and I both ducked and dodged them, leaping out of the way as we both looked around for her. She suddenly reappeared back further, not far from Cayde. “Behind you!” I called to him, pointing, and he twisted around, leaping out of the way - just in time - from trailing jets of lava bombs she shot at him from one of her guns. I pulled out my auto-rifle and fired, jarring her back, forcing her to back off of Cayde and focus her fire on me now. She set off some more missiles and I jumped as they hit the spot where I’d just been, then took aim at me once again only to get slammed in the side and knocked over when Cayde fired a rocket launcher. She yelled and more ether clouds formed, Scorn Dregs and Captains scattering as they fired at us while Elykris crouched down, this time setting off much bigger missiles. 

“Incoming!” I yelled to Cayde who was getting the rocket launcher reloaded. 

“Shit,” he uttered as he looked up, then ran, both of us trying to not get hit by any while ducking the Void attacks from the Scorn. I shot as many as I could for Cayde as he followed along behind me with he rocket launcher, waiting to get his sights on Elykris again.

When she did appear, Cayde skidded along the ground and aimed, ready to fire again but got knocked off balance by a Void blade catching him in the hip, the rocket veering off to explode into the side of the scrap wall. Elykris laughed and crouched, sending more missiles raining down on us.

Cayde cursed again and dropped the rocket launcher, making to run for it but stumbled and fell, hand going to his hip, realizing he was hurt worse than he thought. I ran up to him and grabbed him, yanking him out of the way just as a missile came down knocking us both forward, making me stumble with him in behind one of the blast shields scattered about the area. He winced, pulling his hand away, blood gushing. I put up a shield to the side he was injured and covered him from the other. Knowing why I’d done it, he let Ghost out down close to his hip, just enough for him to heal the injury, then return to hiding.

“You alright?” I asked, shooting a few Scorn that had appeared on the other side of the acid pool. 

“Yeah, but, damnit, this isn’t going how I’d imagined,” he said. “And I’m out of ammo for the rocket launcher. I only had the two.”

“I’ve got a grenade launcher. Thirteen rounds. Five at a time - Shit, run!” I told him, noticing Elykris had set off more missiles. We cleared out of the spot just as they came down, narrowly missing us.

“You were saying?” Cayde asked, panting a bit as we regrouped behind another blast shield. He peeked around the corner and fired at a couple Scorn.

“You lay into her with the grenade launcher, knock her off balance again and make her retreat. When she comes back, I noticed she doesn’t have a shield up. I use my hammer, you hit her with the rest of the grenades. It might be enough to take her out.”

“Uh oh,” Cayde uttered. “Great plan, we’ll do that. But, first …” He ran out from behind the shield and I watched him leap up into the air, flames all around, as he cast burning blades out as a large group of Scorn that had come charging at us, taking out all but two. I quickly fired at them, both of them dropping to the ground just as Cayde landed and hurried back to me. 

Elykris made herself known again with a loud yell, firing more lava bombs our way. “Okay, here goes,” Cayde said, then twisted up and around, balancing the grenade launcher on top of the shield and fired five quick bursts at her, hitting her with each one, knocking her back before her shield went up and more Scorn appeared. “She’s getting ready to fire her missiles. Go!” Cayde said, and took off in one direction while I went in the other. Just after they started raining down, she disappeared again and we were left to handle the Scorn.

“One-seventy-eight! One-seventy-nine!” Cayde called as he shot a couple that charged him.

With a whirring crack, Elykris was suddenly beside me. I jumped out of the way, activating my hammer and slammed it down, shaking the ground and casting a row of fire toward her that swept itself up into a fiery tornado, burning her. She shrieked and flailed and I brought the hammer down again just before she clipped me with one arm, the force making me drop the hammer as I went flying through the air, slamming into the side of the wall. I felt a sudden and sharp, overwhelming pain tear it’s way through my side and looked down to see a long rebar had gone right through me, leaving me pegged to the wall. I couldn’t speak or even yell, let alone breathe. I heard Cayde scream my name and managed to see him grab my hammer and lunge at Elykris just before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. You all hate me right now. Um ... no. Not sorry. MUAHAHAAR!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! Hope you enjoy and more to come soon!

I came awake with a start, gasping, eyes wide. The first thing I saw were deep, worn gray and red colors over me before a shadowed, slightly blurry, teal-colored figure with glowing eyes pushed its way into my view. I startled, hands fisting, and made to fight it before feeling gentle hands on my arms, holding them down. As my hearing returned, a muffled voice slowly become clearer along with the figure over me. 

“It’s me. Shhhhh. Ais, it’s me, it’s Cayde. Baby, you’re okay.”

“Cayde?” I blinked at him as his features became crisp.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s me,” he said, nodding, letting go of my arms and caressing my forehead and cheek as Ghost came into view just beside him. 

I suddenly remembered what happened and gasped, lifting my head, looking down at my side as I grabbed at it.

“You’re okay,” Cayde assured once again. “All patched up,” he nodded, his hand going to my side, laying it over mine. “Ghost got ya all back in one piece.”

I looked around as I moved to sit up and realized we were back on the ship. 

Cayde helped me swing my legs around so I was sitting on the edge of the bunk and sat down beside me, putting his arms around me. I felt him sigh as he kissed my temple. “What happened?” I asked, setting my hand on the inside of his knee as I leaned into him a little. 

“Elykris knocked you into a rebar on the wall. Went right through you,” he murmured as Ghost floated nearby in front of me, watching us carefully.

“I saw you grab my hammer. What happened to her?” 

“Toast,” Cayde murmured. “No one knocks my Queen into a wall and lives to tell about it,” he said, partially joking, but partially very serious.

I twisted to my side and hugged him, feeling warmth wash over me at him calling me his Queen, knowing how special that was. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, well aware I was, once again, breaking my own rule. “I thought I had her.”

He shook his head. “Shhhhh. I thought you did, too,” he whispered, kissing my forehead. “But it’s okay. We got her,” he assured, nodding.

I hugged him a little tighter and sighed, feeling a sense of relief within him but also a strange uneasiness there, too. “What’s wrong?”

“ … You feel that, huh?” He quietly asked. I nodded and he sighed. “I was trynna … not let you feel that right now. Not that I was trynna hide it to hide things from you. Just didn’t want you to worry about me … again. Not right now.”

“It’s alright,” I nodded, giving his cheek a soft kiss in understanding. “What are you feeling?”

He was quiet for a moment before he kissed my forehead again, rearranging his arms around me more securely. “Um … Y’know …” he said, his voice staying quiet, “I’d been out in the Wilds a long time before coming to the Tower. Been to a lotta places. Done a lotta things. Seen a lotta things. What happened wasn’t anything I ain’t never seen before,” he said, shaking his head. “Hell, I’ve seen a lot worse. A. Lot. Worse. But …” He shook his head again and pressed his face to the side of mine, kissing me softly.

“It’s because it was me this time?” I murmured. 

He nodded. “Yeah. And this bond.” He eased back enough to look at me. “The second - _second_ \- you died, I felt it. But that’s the crazy thing … there was nothing to feel. It was just … nothing.” He shook his head, looking off to the side, then back at me. “Two days we’ve had this bond, and I know, even without that, I’d have been scared, seeing you up there like that. Even if we were still just close friends and nothing more, I’d have been scared. Even knowin’ Ghost was gonna bring you back I …” he sighed. “But actually feeling you not part of me …” He shook his head. “That was what really got me. The only thing that kept me moving in that moment was stoping Elykris and getting you to a safe place.” 

I nodded. “I know, Firefly,” I murmured, rubbing his back. “It’s the same way I felt when we faced Hiraks.”

“Never thought I’d ever feel this way about someone. _For someone_. Y’know? Someone who wasn’t in my head.” He pulled me back into a hug and rested his head on top of mine. “Love’s what’s always driven me. Kept me honest. Kept me good. Even if it was all just a game I’d made up in my head, it guided me. And then … when I wasn’t even lookin’ for it … there you were. Now, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, either,” I murmured. I sat up a little and caressed his cheeks before kissing him, then smiled at him. “There are going to be times, though, when on missions together … where we’re going to die. It’s just part of what we are and what we do. And I know you know that. You’ve been around and doing this far longer than I have. And, yes, it’s different now, with the bond. But we’re going to have to learn to accept that feeling when it happens and keep moving through it until Ghost brings us back to each other. If we don’t, and we let it affect us in a fight or a battle - ”

“It’s going to lead to something much worse,” he finished, nodding.

I nodded, too.

He sighed. “When this is all done, we should talk more with Zavala,” he said, his tone unusually serious for him. “I wanna understand this better. Know what he mighta learned.”

“I was thinking the same thing. Just a lot happening right now that’s taking priority,” I agreed. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “We need time to … process. To adjust.”

“We will,” I assured.

“I’m … I’m kinda afraid, once this is all done, to be still after all of this, though,” he admitted. 

“Why?” I asked.

“ … ‘Cause … we won’t - _I_ won’t be busy. Won’t be focused on other things. I kinda … I don’t wanna focus on …” He sighed.

I rubbed his chest. “Sundance?” I quietly asked.

He nodded. I felt him turn his head and I glanced up to see he was looking over at Ghost. “Hey, little buddy,” he uttered and held out his hand. Ghost floated over and settled in Cayde’s hand and Cayde brought him into our hug. “Do you really feel like you’re my Ghost, too?” He murmured to him. “Not just takin’ me on like some stray?” I frowned at the question. Something was bubbling back up to the surface for him.

Ghost bobbed a little. “Yes, Cayde.” He floated up just high enough he could speak to Cayde face - to - face. “It’s … strange. Since Aislin and I first met you, I felt … something I can’t explain. It wasn’t a draw to you in the way I felt drawn to Aislin when I first found her. But it was … something. Something different than how it felt when meeting Zavala and Ikora. I just thought it was because you were the friendliest of the Vanguard but, now … I think this bond the two of you have now is why Ailsin and I felt the way we did before. That it's why it was so easy for you two to become friends before you went beyond that, and why your Light joined. I’m not much for predictions or things like that, but it seems it was just meant to be. That the two of you were destined to be together.” Ghost floated a little closer to him. “That doesn’t mean I ever would have thought Sundance wouldn’t be part of it. It seems like that wasn’t meant to happen and I don’t know if me becoming your Ghost was something that just happened to compensate for it or the will of the Traveler. But, whatever it is, Cayde, I’m … I'm honored to be your Ghost and I hope I make Sundance proud.”

Cayde blinked at him and I sensed the pang in his chest. It struck him deeply. He nodded and gently took Ghost in his hand and eased him under his chin in a hug.

“Overwhelmed?” I gently asked Cayde as I settled my hand on Ghost as well. That had been a very kind thing he'd said.

“Yeah,” Cayde breathed. “But I’m okay,” he assured. “Just, uh … that nothing feeling I had for a bit without you, and then the everything feeling with both of you - which is really great. It just hits me weird sometimes.”

“You sure you're okay?” I asked.

“Mm,” he nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just … let me hold onta you guys for a bit, alright?”

I hugged him and I noticed Ghost snuggle under Cayde’s chin a bit further, in an unusual but, I knew, very much appreciated show of affection.

As we sat together like that for a while, I gradually felt a peacefulness wash over Cayde and some tension leave his body, making him relax against me. 

“You wanna hear something weird?” Cayde murmured, head rested against mine.

“Sure,” I murmured back.

“I feel like … like I have a family,” he whispered. “For real. An actual family.”

I tilted my head up a little and kissed the side of his jaw. “You _do_ , sweetheart,” I murmured. “And we love you very much.” I felt him hug me even tighter and kiss the top of my head as Ghost and I cuddled up in Cayde’s arms for a good long while after knowing, more than anything, he just needed to hold onto us.

 

Sometime later, I brought a hot cup of coffee over to Cayde who was lounging back on the bunk, Ghost settled on his shoulder and looking over Spider’s map with him. I handed him the cup then crawled up onto the bed beside him. 

“Thanks,” he said, smiling as I leaned against his shoulder. 

“Nothing with Fikrul, hm?” I asked.

He shook his head and took a sip of the coffee, then offered the cup back to me. “Not that I can tell,” he said as I sipped from the cup. "I mean, my Eliksni’s not perfect, but I can at least make out all these names and none of them are his name. Only thing I can figure is one-a the symbols here I don’t recognize might be for him.”

“You said he and Uldren were thick and thieves, though, right?” I asked, handing the cup back to him.

He nodded. “Yeah, and I was just startin’ to think the same thing you are.”

“That he’s likely with Uldren?” I asked.

“Yup. Which means, to find him, we need to find Uldren. And, if he’s in or headed for that watchtower, that’s gonna make it damn tricky. Unless Petra’s willin’ to help us out there.”

“I could try contacting her for you,” Ghost offered. 

Cayde nodded. “See if you can reach her, yeah. Cause, if that tower is where they’re at, we can’t get in without help.”

Ghost bobbed and went to the ship’s console to see if he could reach her. I felt Cayde shift and put his arm around me, easing me back more against his chest as he set the map down and drank his coffee before offering it to me again. 

I smiled. “Thanks,” I said, settling back against him more comfortably. 

“I’m not getting any reply,” Ghost told us, floating back over to us. “And I’m unable to track her.”

I glanced back at Cayde, noticing his eyes squint, eyebrows furrowing. He pet my shoulder, signaling me to move and I leaned forward as he got up and went to the console, sitting in the pilots chair and typing some things into the computer.

I got up and went over, standing behind the chair, watching over his shoulder. “What are you doing?” I asked. 

“Something … I’m likely … not supposed to,” he muttered, fingers flying over the keyboard, opening various commands on the monitor for different programs to something I wasn’t familiar with. 

It took me a minute before I realized what he was doing. “You’re … you’re hacking into the tracking satellites around the system,” I uttered, completely surprised.

He glanced over at me and winked, then typed in a few more commands before a three-dimensional holographic map of the solar system flickered and appeared floating above the console. Cayde continued to type in a few more commands, narrowing in on a signal.

“You know how to hack advanced satellites?” Ghost asked, stunned, watching Cayde.

“Eh, I dabble. I learned a few tricks over the years,” Cayde said.

“That’s more than dabbling, Cayde,” I told him. “You are so full of shit your eyes should be brown.”

He snorted, chuckling a little. “I’m not full of shit.” 

I arched my eyebrow at him.

“Okay, let me rephrase that, I’m not _totally_ full of shit. I just don’t let all my secrets be known,” he said.

“Not even to us?” Ghost asked.

“What do call this?” Cayde asked, gesturing to what he was doing.

“So, back on Enceladus, when you acted like you couldn’t tell that Ana had code up on the screen …”

“Oh, no, that was real,” Cayde nodded. “I ain’t never seen stuff like that. That was WAY beyond the stuff I’ve played around with.”

“You’re full of surprises, handsome,” I said, smirking. Why I found it so sexy he was smarter and sneakier than he let on, I don’t know, but I did!

“First I’m fulla shit, now it’s surprises. Make up your mind,” he sighed, feigning exasperation and shaking his head. “ … Although, shit can be a surprise sometimes,” he added under his breath. 

I snickered.

“Ah! There she is!” Cayde said, pointing to a red dot that appeared to be heading just past Jupiter and moving out further toward the edge of the Solar System. “Looks like she’s heading back out this way."

“Can you contact her?” Ghost asked. 

“Nope. The satellites don’t open communication. Just pick up the ships moving through. And her’s has a specific signature, since it’s from the Reef. Plus, I may know the serial number. But don’t tell her that. Besides, if I hacked her comms, then she’d know I can and I’d rather no one outside-a you guys, and Ikora and Zavala knowing that.”

“Failsafe seems to know you can at least override comms,” I said, recalling the time back on Nessus when she’d cut the feed but Cayde had managed to bypass it. I hadn’t realized he’d actually hacked it himself. I figured it had been someone else who opened it back up for him … Or that he’d just messed around with it and got lucky. But, nope. It seemed Cayde really did know his stuff!

“Eh.” He waved a dismissive hand. “Overriding comms is easy from the Tower. Vanguards have that authority. Besides, she thinks I’m dumb. I’ll just let her keep thinkin’ that.”

“Well, you did get yourself stuck in a Vex loop,” Ghost reminded, nodding.

“All part of the charade?” Cayde offered.

“Nice try, but that one we’re not buying,” I told him, kissing the top of his head. 

“Was worth a try,” Cayde shrugged, leaning back in the chair, looking a bit smug at the results of his efforts as he watched the red dot slowly cruise through the Solar System. 

I smiled and handed him the cup. “So we just wait and watch where she goes, hm?” I asked.

He drank some of the coffee then set the cup down and pulled me around, tugging me over the arm of the chair and into his lap, snuggling me. “Mmm hmm.”

I chuckled a bit surprised. “Hi,” I smiled, petting the arms around me.

“Hi,” he purred and kissed me.

“Well, your mood is definitely better,” I said against his lips.

“You’re impressed. Makes me feel pretty good,” he murmured, kissing me again.

“I am,” I nodded, grinning. “So, was that your little way of flexing your muscles for me to get my attention or something?” I joked, petting his chest. 

“It worked, didn’t it?” He asked.

I chuckled. “For the record, flexing your muscles does work, too,” I told him.

“Too bad I don’t have much by way of muscles or flexing capability,” Cayde said.

“They flex some,” I nodded. “I notice it in the way you move sometimes.”

“Really? I’d think the armor would hide it,” Cayde said, lifting his arm, watching as his bicep did flex, but only a little, despite his efforts. The downside to being an Exo. He was built how he was built.

“I didn’t say you were in your armor when I noticed,” I casually said.

He glanced at me, eyebrows rising and I slyly smiled at him, then sat up and turned to face him, straddling his lap. I noticed one eyebrow go higher than the other and the teal plates of his face turn up a bit in a smirk. “So, uh, what did it? My mad computer skills or the flexing?” Cayde asked, settling his hands on my hips, giving them a little squeeze.

I grinned and trailed my fingers over the scarf around his neck, leaning in closer against his chest. “Can’t it be both?” I purred and moved to kiss him when the private comm channel beeped.

“You are _kidding_ me!” Cayde sighed, head flopping back against the headrest as he looked up at the ceiling and threw up his hands, as if asking whatever divine presence that may be ‘why now?’. 

I sighed, too, head dropping forward before I twisted around and pressed the button, opening the channel. “Aislin, Cayde, I know where Uldren is headed. It's time to end this,” Petra told us.

“Can you give us, like, ten minutes?” Cayde asked.

“What?” Petra asked.

“Never mind,” I said, putting my hand over Cayde’s mouth. “Where are you?” 

“Heading for the Watchtower,” she said. “Are you still at the Shore?”

“Yes,” I said, just as Cayde licked my palm. I pulled my hand back, looking at it like that was the grossest thing ever, then smacked him in the chest. “Owwww,” Cayde chuckled, rubbing the spot.

“Is everything alright?” Petra asked.

“Just fine!” Cayde called, poking my side in retaliation. 

I squeaked in surprise and slapped at his hand trying not to laugh. “Send us your coordinates and we’ll meet you there,” I told Petra as he poked at my other side. “Stop it!” I hissed, snickering and grabbing his hand. He chuckled and kissed my shoulder.

“Are you sure everything is alright?” Petra asked.

“Cayde’s just being … Cayde, don’t worry. We’ll meet you at the coordinates,” I told her.

“Ah, so nothing unusual,” Petra replied, a slight hint of amusement in her voice.

“Whaddya mean ‘Cayde’s just being Cayde’?” He asked, like we were in on something he’d been oblivious to. 

I could hear Petra softly chuckle on the other end. “See you both soon,” she said, then ended the comm.

I looked at Cayde and he gave me an innocent look. “You are terrible,” I told him, smacking his shoulder. 

“Ow! I didn’t do anything that time!” He laughed, rubbing his shoulder.

“That was for what you might do,” I smirked.

“What I might do?” He asked, slipping his hands back around my hips, pulling me close. “Hopefully, what I _might_ do won’t get me slapped,” he lowly purred.

I shivered and draped my arms over his shoulders. “You know, for a man who kept his act solo for so long, you certainly have no trouble hinting at what you want,” I smiled.

“Am I so obvious?” Cayde asked, a playfully innocent tone to his voice before he kissed me. 

I kissed him back. “So obvious. And Petra’s timing can’t be worse because now I want to do things to you that are going to take a lot longer than ten minutes,” I murmured.

“I really gotta impress you more often,” Cayde murmured, tracing my lips with his finger, smiling at me.

“You two are giving me toothaches from all this sweet and I don’t even have teeth,” Ghost muttered, sounding exasperated as he floated off toward where our armor was set out and ready, knowing we’d follow soon enough.

 

“My Friend,” Spider garbled over the comm, “I hear that royal runt, Uldren, wants into the Watchtower. I always wondered what secrets and treasures the Awoken stashed in that ersatz spire. But, my friendship with Queen Mara, while she lived, stayed my hand. Well, that and a locked door. Thus, I am honor-bound to send a selection of my finest to help you. I must say … I cannot wait to see how this ends.” The comm link ended and I glanced over at Cayde.

“I thought you couldn’t get access to the Watchtower cause it’d disappear when you got near it?” I asked.

Cayde nodded. “It did. But, if Spider has - or had - a deal with the Queen, he may have special privileges letting him get near it. And, since Petra needs our help, looks like we’re being granted access, too. Gotta admit, I’m kinda excited. Always was curious what was there.”

I smirked at him. “If I spot a mug, I’ll grab it for you.”

He chuckled and opened the private comm link to Petra. “Closing in on your position, P.V.,” he said as he navigated the ship to Petra’s coordinates. 

“You’re going to want to transmat down nearby, and be armed,” she said. “We’ve got a lot of Scorn flooding the area. I see Spiders troops moving in from the east as well. They’re taking some out but it’s still gong to be a fight to get in from the ground. Once the area’s clear, I’ll get the doors open.”

Cayde slowed the ship and flipped a few switches, setting it to hover over the transmat area. “Ghost, you got it?” He asked.

“All set, Cayde. Soon as we’re on the surface, the ship will dock under the asteroid,” Ghost told him.

Cayde gave me a nod and got up and I followed, both of us loading up our weapons and ammo before transmatting down.

The moment our boots touched the surface, we saw Spiders troops just ahead of us, making their way to the floating section of asteroid just beyond, the Watchtower not much further from there. I heard the whirring sound of a Walker tank just before it fired and the whole area shook from the explosion, making Cayde and I stagger before we started following where Spider’s troops had gone. 

“Approaching the Watchtower on foot,” Ghost told Petra over the comm. 

“Approaching by air,” Petra told us just as her ship whizzed by overhead.

As Cayde and I leapt to the other section of asteroid, I saw the Walker tank fire again on a few Scorn that had dared to get too close. I shot a couple the tank missed, clearing the area for Spider’s troops to push ahead, only to see a large group of Scorn charging from the other side. Above us, Petra’s ship circled around and came in low, dropping several bombs on the Scorn. The whole area shook violently, lighting up in a ball of fire that completely cleared and charred the area.

“Hey! Leave some for us, P.V.!” Cayde called as we pressed forward. 

“Trust me, you got plenty more coming up on your left. Watch yourselves. These ones have shields,” Petra told us. 

“See ‘em,” I told her, just as flashes of ether appeared over the ridge. Cayde already had his rifle aimed and started shooting as the first wave of Scorn came charging into view. I ran a bit ahead, seeing more appear right on top of the ones Cayde had just killed, all of them with heavy shields. They screeched and started advancing on me. I tossed a grenade and sent them flying with the explosion, their bodies landing on the ground with sickening thuds. 

“Hey! No making explosions without me!” Cayde called, dropping a surviving Scorn with a knife to its throat. I looked over my shoulder, grinning at him as I watched him come running up, grabbing the knife out of the body and throwing it at another Scorn, killing it. He skidded down onto his knee, taking aim with his pulse rifle, and shot at more shielded Scorn as they came at us, screeching and wielding heavy maces. A few bullets bounced off the shields, so Cayde aimed his gun at their legs and fired. The Scorn screamed and stumbled, the shields dropping, leaving their heads exposed, so I ran up behind Cayde and shot them, smirking at the ease with which the two of us worked as one. 

“Oh-ho, baby, that was awesome!” Cayde cheered, getting to his feet, charging ahead, cloak billowing behind him as he took out even more Scorn along the way. “I am having the time of my life right now!” 

I felt a sudden hit to my chest. It wasn’t a gunshot or anything, it was something brought on by what Cayde had just said. It was like someone took the air right out of my lungs. I grabbed at my chest through the hard armor as everything around me became blurry and the sounds muffled. Things seemed to go in slow motion and I closed my eyes, feeling dizzy. My knees slamming down into the sands of the Shore jarred me a bit and made me blink my eyes open just in time to see Cayde come running up to me, crouching down in front of me. I looked at him, seeing the orange light of this mouth flickering, his eyes wide with worry. What he was saying, though, I couldn’t really hear at first.

_Flashes of fiery bullets from the Golden Gun_

_”Can I just say, I’m having the time of my life right now.”_

_"I’m sorry …”_

_”I’m here.”_

_”Ais …”_

_”Don’t go …”_

“Don’t go,” I uttered, weakly grabbing at his arm. “I’m not going anywhere, baby, but we gotta move,” Cayde told me. He went to my side and got his arm around me. “Come on. You gotta get up.” I felt him pull me to my feet and practically drag me along, my legs not wanting to cooperate. Somehow, even pulling me along, Cayde managed to take out more Scorn, even headless ones wielding fiery cauldrons. He eventually got us to a safe spot, shielded by cave walls that opened up to a pathway to the Watchtower entrance just on the other side. He sat me down then crouched in front of me. “Hey,” he murmured, rubbing my arms. “You with me?”

“I’m sorry,” I uttered, catching my breath.

He shook his head. “It’s alright. What happened?”

“I … You said …” I closed my eyes. “You said you were having the time of your life. You said the same thing back at the prison. And … the Shore disappeared and I was suddenly back there. I saw you firing your gun, then heard you say it - say you were having the time of your life. Then the next thing I knew, you were in my arms … dying and saying you were sorry. And I didn’t want you to go. I begged you to stay.” I leaned forward and his arms were immediately right around me as my head went to his shoulder. 

“It’s alright. I’m right here,” he whispered.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to go back there. I couldn’t stop it. I was just … I was suddenly there.”

“Shhhhh,” he soothed, rubbing my back through the armor. “I’m here. I’m okay and I’m right here,” he assured.

“Cayde, Aislin? I’ve lost sight of you,” Petra said over the comm. “Everything alright?”

“Fine, just give us a minute, Petra,” Cayde told her then closed the link. He eased back and held my face through my helmet in his hands. “You want to go back to the ship? You say the word, I’ll take you back.”

“No,” I shook my head. “No. I’ll be okay.” I lifted my hands to his arms and gave them a squeeze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t expect that. That’s … never happened before.” I knew I had to get myself under control or it would cause a bigger problem than it already had. If I couldn’t focus, Cayde could get hurt.

“It’s alright,” He assured and pulled me back against him. “I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

I felt his worry for me and hugged him as I gradually got a grip on things. “I’m alright now,” I told him, nodding. 

As we eased apart once again, he gave my arms a squeeze. “You feel that happen again, you just look for me, okay? I’ll be right by your side.”

I smiled and nodded. It was strange being on the other end of this. I was usually the one reassuring him. I hadn’t been prepared for something like that to happen. I thought I’d been fine for the most part. But it looked like there were things I wasn’t handling well. He leaned forward and kissed the forehead part of my helmet then helped me to my feet. “Alright?” He asked, handing me my rifle. 

“Yeah, thanks,” I nodded, taking it. He settled his hand on my shoulder as he opened the link with Petra back up. “We’re here, P.V.. Just at the spot leading to the Watchtower entrance.”

“I just secured the ship and am heading inside now,” Petra told him.

“We’ll meetchya there,” Cayde nodded then looked at me. “Okay?”

I nodded. “Let’s go,” I said, feeling much more steady now.

As we moved up the steps to the pathway, I noticed a strange horizontal metal bar that was built into the top of the stairs and appeared to be part of a barrier the Awoken had in place that had since been opened. Just past that, I saw what looked like a patch of oozing black liquid with soft tendrils of black smoke rising from it. Cayde noticed it, too, and I felt an unsettling feeling wash over him. It only took a second for me to realize the feeling had to be coming from remembering an entry in his Treasure Island journal.

We didn’t get much time to dwell on it, though, because our feet hadn’t even touched the stone of the pathway for more than a couple seconds before Fikrul’s low, gravely, rasping voice echoed all around us. “You enjoyed killing them?” Fikrul asked, appearing near the entrance of the Watchtower, slamming the hilt of his staff down onto the stone, bolts of arc energy wildly flying about above him and smoky dark ether billowing out around him. “You enjoyed putting them in dirt — where you belong?” He hissed at Cayde, slamming his staff into the stone once again, creating large circles of damaging arc energy on the ground all around us. Arc energy hurt like hell and we both felt it painfully constrict our feet and leg muscles, forcing us to jump up and get clear of it. “Did it make you feel goooooooood?”

Just as we landed on safe ground, Scorn started appearing out of clouds of ether, joining Fikrul in attacking us. “I’ll cover you,” I said to Cayde, giving him a nod as I started taking them out. 

He nodded back and rushed out, being careful to stay on ground that wasn’t covered in arc energy, as he headed straight for Fikrul. I killed any and every Scorn that made a go for him, leaving him in the clear. “You an’ me … we never finished our ‘conversation’, daddy’s boy’!” Cayde taunted, holstering his gun and pulling out his large hunting knife, the blade gleaming in the light of the energy dancing about. Fikrul hissed at him and took aim with his spear, the tip of it alight with arc energy, blasting it where Cayde stood.

Cayde leapt up into the air, summersaulting, then landed just off to Fikrul’s side and raced up at him, two quick slashes of his knife to the Scorn leader’s leg making Fikrul drop to one knee, crying out in pain and grabbing at the gashes Cayde had left. Cayde moved like the wind, fast and silent, almost a blur, hitting Fikrul again on the other side. I kept focus and made sure none of the Scorn had a chance to attack him but, inside, I was in awe. It was rare I got to see Cayde actively in a fight. I had to admit, it was a beautiful and deadly sight! 

“I know I’m amazing and all, but focus, baby,” Cayde said, amusement in his tone. 

I chuckled then looked through my scope and fired, blowing the head off a Scorn that had come up behind Cayde, a mace lifted to try and knock him out. Cayde spun around, looking at it in surprise then off where I was, under cover of one of the large rocks. I grinned. “Don’t worry. I’m focused,” I told him.

Cayde laughed and gave me a little two-two-fingers wave, then dashed off, bouncing up and over a large black crystal as Fikrul blasted more arc bolts at him, growling in anger when he missed. “Kaniks. Reksis Vahn. Yaviks. Pirrha. Araskes. Hiraks. Elykris. Tell me that killing my friends made you feel good. TELL ME!”

“Well, not sure about the others but yeah, felt pretty good getting Vahn back for puttin’ me though a wall,” Cayde said, taking his cannon out. I noticed he’d deliberately not said anything about Pirrha. 

Cayde peered around the side of the crystal and fired at Fikrul, hitting him in the torso and arm then pulled out a tripmine grenade, sticking it to the side of the crystal, and dashed away as Fikrul came after him. 

As soon as Fikrul’s ankle cut the laser beam of the mine, it exploded, sending bits of crystal all over, sharp pieces embedding themselves in his skin. Fikrul howled, becoming erratic in his attacks, stomping his good leg and aiming his spear at anything that moved, not caring if he killed one of his own at this point. Cayde had, officially, succeeded in pissing him off!

More headless Scorn, wielding fire cauldrons, came fanning out at us and I switched to my full auto, taking out the ones going after Cayde as I ran around the area, ducking and weaving around stones and crystals, trying not to get hit or zapped by the ones coming after me. Unfortunately, Fikrul had another trick up his figurative sleeve and managed to capture Cayde and I in a gravity beam, tethering us and drawing us toward him with the spear.

“Damnit!” Cayde hissed. “Shoot him!” He told me and opened fire on Fikrul with his cannon as I pulled out my machine gun and sprayed bullets at him. 

Fikrul grunted and cried out, then stomped his large foot down just as we crashed into him and fell to the ground. The force actually bounced us and I rolled off to the side, getting out of the way as Cayde pulled this knife back out and brought it down into Fikrul’s foot, hard, pinning him where he stood. The Scorn leader cried out in agony, swiping at Cayde with the spear as he made to reach down and yank it out. Cayde scurried out of the way just as I slammed Fikrul with my hammer. I hit him so hard, his foot tore from the knife as he lost his balance and stumbled, the knife remaining jammed into the stone of the pathway. Eliksni blood, tinged with dark ether trailed and smoked along the stone as Fikrul hobbled, trying to stay on his feet. “I will pay any price… to be there when you die…!” He snarled at Cayde and me, readying his spear like he was going to blast Cayde with all the arc energy it had. More Scorn appeared around us and I knew we had to stop him now. I charged up beside him and hit him with the hammer again, with all the force I had, hearing his bones break under the effort. Fikrul gasped and fell to his knees, the spear falling form his hand and clattering on the stone just as Cayde leapt into the air and sent burning blades flying.

Fikrul slumped then slowly teetered before falling forward with a loud crash, the flames of the blades fanning out along Fikrul’s body, leaving nothing but ash. “Guess that’s the end of our conversation” Cayde said, landing on his feet beside me, the other Scorn fading away in clouds of ether. 

“This … isn’t the … end. The Scorn … are … forever …” Fikrul weakly uttered his body disintegrating, the ash fluttering away in the wind. Cayde stepped forward and bent over, yanking his bloodied knife out of the stone. He cleaned it off, swiping it along the material covering his thigh, then slid it back in its holster and turned to look at me. I walked over to him and put my arm around him, hugging him as I sighed, both of us slumping against each other with relief. 

“We did it," Ghost uttered. “Only one name left … Uldren Sov.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next is Uldren. That one is going to be interesting. And there's a lot that happens in that one so bear with me as I get it polished. I'll have it out as soon as I can! :) .


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is, the showdown with Uldren! I hope you all like it. This could have gone a few ways but this one seemed to be the best one to me. I want to make sure you all know THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER. :) . There is more to come. In the meantime, please, if you can, let me know what you think of this one cause I really did ponder this for quite a while.

I looked up at the large, ornate golden doors flanked by deep emerald marble and two large statues of what appeared to be Techeuns. The look and vibe was almost religious, like the old churches and temples of Earth’s ancient cities.

“It’s time to end this,” Petra said. “For both of you.”

Petra’s words hit home. I knew she understood the pain this had caused both of us - especially Cayde - on many levels, and that we’d needed to see this through to the end so not just us, but all those Uldren and the Barons had hurt could have peace and those in their path could rest easy knowing the threat was gone.

The doors were open and, glancing beyond, I got the sense that stepping through them would be like stepping into another world. I felt Cayde’s hand slip into mine, lacing our fingers together. I looked over at him and saw he was staring up at the doors and what lay beyond them as well. I could feel his curiosity and excitement, but also hesitation and trepidation. We didn’t know what, exactly, we were walking into here.

Cayde looked at me and I nodded to him and started walking. He followed, not letting go of my hand as we climbed the steps and walked through the doors. 

Inside, as we stepped up on a landing covered in an intricate burgundy and gold carpet. We paused for a moment to look around and take it all in. The space was just like a cathedral, with grand arched ceilings of richly carved stone and a circular window above that I quickly discovered wasn’t shining sunlight but, instead, held some kind of bright solar magic that swirled about within it, casting a warm and welcoming glow. Thin black crystal pillars decorated with fine metalwork of Awoken design at their bases stood in a group of four in the center of the space. They left a pathway open to the other end where a massive glowing blue orb of what appeared to be a replica of Saturn stood affixed to a pedestal. Just beyond, was an archway and, above it, was another window-like structure that held more of the swirling solar light. It was awe-inspiring and I heard Cayde utter a soft ‘wow’ as he looked around. The area just emanated a peacefulness that was hard to describe.

I noticed, on either side of the four pillars, there was water in two half-circle pools, with grasses and mosses growing in and around them. It looked impossible to tell if this was a result of neglect or if the incorporation of nature was intended but, either way, it was beautiful. 

“Cayde … Aislin …” Petra softly said over the comms. “No one has stood where you two are now since the Queen closed these doors. Yours are the first outsider eyes to ever see this place. … Aislin … Welcome home … cousin.”

I felt Cayde give my hand a squeeze as the realization of what I truly was settled in in a way it never had before. I was Awoken. Not Reef-Born, but I was still a part of these people. This was part of me in some way, and I was part of it. And it gave me a strange sense of belonging I had never felt before now. 

As we pressed on, walking between the crystal pillars, it became more obvious the grasses were a result of neglect. I also noticed one of the back crystal pillars had been broken and was laying across the path, partly blocking it. There was also a center section of one of the stone pillars bracing the ceiling missing, but it was hard to tell if it had been broken or just crumbled away with time. Whatever had happened, one thing was for sure, this place was old. Very, very old. 

Cayde and I crossed over the pathway between the pillars, approaching the large, blue, Saturn-like orb and we noticed the stone and crystals of this place held a light within them that made the stone shimmer in the same way Awoken skin did, as well as making etched patterns glow. Cayde reached out and lightly touched the wall beside us, looking up and around before his eyes settled on the orb. “It looks a lot like the ones the Speaker had in his library in the old Tower,” I murmured.

Cayde nodded. “Hey, Little Buddy, you know what this might be?” He asked Ghost. 

Ghost appeared and looked at the orb before he floated around it and scanned it. “This is a communication device. But the coordinates it’s broadcasting to … shouldn’t exist.”

Cayde and I looked at each other as Ghost backed away from the orb and disappeared back into the pack Cayde was carrying. “Something outside our space and time,” I murmured.

“Like the stories,” Cayde uttered, looking back at the orb as I nodded.

I looked through he path that led under the arch, seeing it because a hallway leading further inside the Watchtower. There was more of the black pools of what appeared to be Taken corruption splattered on the floor. As Cayde and I walked through, we carefully stepped over it, not wanting to touch it. 

“So, this place and the secrets … you never knew any of it?” Cayde asked.

I shook my head. “I’m not Reef-Born. Even when Guardians were finally allowed at the Reef, I was treated as an outsider. Still am in some ways. There’s an … an odd draw to this place, though,” I quietly told him, my eyes scanning every inch they could as we walked. We passed a broken statue of one of the Techeuns and followed the hallway around to the right, heading up another set of stairs, seeing even more of the black splatters of Taken corruption, and smokey wafts of the Darkness. 

“This place is beautiful, but that stuff is makin’ me uneasy,” Cayde said, his free hand settling on the hilt of his knife. I nodded, pulling my sidearm out. 

As we came to the top of the stairs, there was even more and I noticed Cayde shiver. “You alright?” I asked.

He gave a little nod.

I squeezed his hand. “Petra, are we going the right way?”

“Yes. Keep moving,” she replied. “I’ll get to you as fast as I can.”

Just as she finished speaking, I caught a shimmer of blackness out the corner of my eye and looked up the next set of stairs to my right, seeing a portal to the Ascendant Realm. We climbed the stairs and stopped just a couple steps down form the top. “That’s why this place disappears as you approach. It’s partly in the Ascendant Realm,” I uttered.

Cayde shivered again and pressed closer to me. I looked at him. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Cold,” he uttered, looking at the portal.

I checked the regulator on his armor. It was working properly. I glanced at the portal, then back at Cayde. He was feeling the cold from the Ascendant Realm. But I wasn’t. Why was he feeling it and not me? “Did you feel the cold like this when we went into Hirkas’ Throne World?” I asked.

He shook his head.

I frowned. What was making him feel cold then? Unless, because it was a personal Throne World and not the Realm itself, maybe that made a difference? Or maybe because I was Awoken, I wasn’t affected by it?

“We hafta go through there to get where we need to go, don’t we?” He asked.

I nodded. “Looks like it, yeah.”

Cayde fiddled with the temperature setting on his armor and turned it up. “Okay,” he nodded. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it, then let it go and pulled out his gun. 

“Watch your step and go slow,” I reminded.

He nodded. “I’m stickin’ to ya like glue, baby,” he assured. 

I gave his back a little rub then carefully stepped onto the black liquid that surrounded the floor at the portals entrance. When nothing happened, I headed through, taking the lead.

As soon as I broke the barrier, I came out on the other side, finding the tower in ruins, everything in negative hues of the place we’d just left. Wind was blowing and catching dust that billowed around us like the sands on Mars. The walls and parts of the ceiling that weren’t broken had patches of more dark liquid stuck to the surface, and small black suns floated about, some partly going through the walls. All around, mingled with the sound of the wind, was an echoing noise of what sounded a bit like static and a bit like water flowing in a brook. Pieces of debris floated, suspended in the air, and more black crystals jutted out from everywhere, as if we were inside some kind of massive geode. 

Cayde stepped up just behind me, looking around. “If this place didn’t make me feel so uneasy, I’d think it was cool,” he quietly said, pressing close to me. 

I nodded. “There is a strange beauty to it.” I felt his uneasiness and reached back, petting his side, trying to keep him at ease as best I could. I understood what he was feeling all too well. “This way. Up those stairs,” I said, nodding my head off to the left.

I noticed Cayde glance down off to the right below us and back away from the edge, swallowing with effort before he followed me. He was unsettled by this place and the only thing I could think was causing it was that entry in his old journal where the Darkness got hold of him and enveloped him. I knew he had nightmares about it, even though he couldn’t remember that exact event happening beyond what was written.

As we made our way up the steps, Cayde looked out the window and paused. “Is that … what it looks like outside … in the Ascendent Realm? Is that what you meant by things being lined up with our world but totally different?”

I stood beside him and nodded. 

“What are they?” He asked. “We’ve seen stuff like ‘em before with the Taken but … what are those things?”

“Only thing I know is, here, they’re called black suns. They’re some kind of light source for this place.” I shook my head. “But I don’t know any more than that. I dream about them sometimes, though,” I told him, looking over at him. “Come on,” I said, and motioned him to keep following as we continued our way up the stairs, leaping over a broken and missing section of floor.

“Open the door, Brother.” 

Cayde and I both stopped when we heard Mara Sov’s voice echo around us. 

“OPEN THE DOOR,” she said again, this time more forcefully.

“She’s alive?” Cayde said. “He really was talkin’ to her.”

I frowned. Something didn’t feel right.

“I can’t,” Uldren replied. “No …”

“What door is she talkin’ about?” Cayde asked.

“I don’t know but … something seems … off,” I told him as he hurried along, going through an archway and jumping over more gaps, staying on solid flooring as we pressed on. The further we went, the more broken the tower became, whole sections missing, more debris floating, structures turned upside down and twisted. 

Not far up ahead I spotted the portal. “There,” I told him and we hurried to it, jumping through.

As soon as we were back in the living world, Cayde breathed a sigh of relief and leaned over, shivering again, hands on his knees. “I don’t like that place,” he uttered. “Doesn’t feel right.”

I put my hand on his back. “Are you okay?” He felt … jittery. Unsettled, and … skittish.

He stood up straight and put his arms around me. “Just hold me for a sec? I feel … off.”

I nodded and held him. “I’m right here,” I murmured.

“I feel like - like somethin’s gonna jump out and pull me into the Darkness,” he muttered, looking around. 

I nodded. That is what it was. The nightmares of something from another one of his lives. I wasn’t sure why he was feeling the cold the way he was, but I at least knew the cause of some of his uneasiness. “I know that feeling,” I told him, petting his back. "I had it after Crota and Oryx.” I leaned back a little and rubbed his arms as I looked at him, seeing his eyes darting around the space. “Hey,” I said, getting him to look at me. “I won’t let anything get you,” I promised. “Okay? You just stay right beside me.” I knew he needed more reassurance - that something was really getting to him if he was being clingy and jumpy like this in the middle of a mission. He was _never_ like this. Not ever. He saved this sort of thing for private, when things were all said and done. So I knew something was really wrong for him to act this way now. We had to keep going, though. This wasn’t the time or the place. And I knew he knew that. 

He took a breath and let it out, nodding. “Sorry, I - I don’t know what came over me,” he said, then shook his head, looking around again. I felt him regaining some control and relaxing a little.

I frowned. “Who am I?” I gently asked.

He looked at me and softly smiled. “You’re Aislin. And we’re in the Awoken Watchtower goin’ after Uldren.” He nodded. “I’m here. I’m me. I just … I don’t know what happened. Goin’ through there just …” He shook his head. “Freaked me out.”

I nodded and he looked at me for a moment before leaning forward, resting his forehead to my helmet, sighing. “Okay,” he murmured. “Let’s keep going.”

“You sure?” I asked and he lifted his head and looked behind himself at the solid wall. “We’ll I ain’t goin’ back that way,” he lightly joked.

I smiled a little and nodded and we proceeded up more stairs, taking a right up and around to another level of the tower. 

“The line between dimensional planes is very thin here,” Ghost said as we started encountering more Ascendant smoke floating up from black patches on the floor. I turned to go up another set of stairs and saw a soft blue light shining from intricate metal arches and decor all in an ancient Awoken theme. They made up an elaborate and beautiful altar that was flanked by two more large Techeun statues and large archways that led to another grand space like the one at the entrance. 

Just as Cayde and I stepped through one of the archways, a large Taken Centurion appeared along with a couple Taken Phalanx. “Shit,” I uttered and put up my shield to block us from he incoming fire. 

“You get that one, I’ll take the one on the left, Cayde said, crouching down and firing.

“Watch it, we’ve got a couple Taken Vandals up above,” I told him, pulling out Cayde’s sniper rifle and aiming at the one that had Cayde in its sights. I fired, destroying it, then focused on the one on my side while Cayde fired at the Phalanx’s. 

“Damnit,” he hissed. “Hold still and stop multiplying.” He fired again, trying to hit them fast enough they didn’t have time to divide. Once the Vandals were taken care of, I helped Cayde with the remaining Phalanx’s then we both concentrated our fire on the Centurion. I pulled out my grenade launcher and saw Cayde practically grin at the sight of it. “Oh-ho! Bringin’ out the BIG GUNS!” 

“You want to do the honors?” I asked, offering it to him. 

He practically squeed and took it. I smirked, glad it was helping lift his mood, and covered him, firing at the axion darts while he got a couple good hits with the grenade launcher before taking the Centurion out with the third one. “I’m kinda disappointed that was so easy,” he said.

“You just wanted to make more explosions,” I said, taking the grenade launcher back.

“Well, yeah,” he said, as if that should be obvious.

I chuckled then saw more Taken appear. “Not out of the woods yet,” I said.

“These guys are like cockroaches,” Cayde said, pulling his cannon out. “Did I ever tell you about the mean cockroach chili Shiro used to make?”

“I don’t want to hear about the cockroach chili again, Cayde,” I told him, shooting a couple Taken.

“Man, that was good stuff,” he said.

“I will shoot you in the ass if you keep talking,” I warned.

He snickered.

When the room was clear, we moved on to another open room with another elaborately designed metal arch and an etched disk glowing in light teal decorating the center. On the ceiling, was a fiery ring of light with what almost looked like stars floating in the center. The light cast a soft glow of orange around the space above what looked to be half of a large piece of agate stone a good ten feet in diameter. It was centered in a circle of arched stone pillars.

Cayde whistled and reached out, carefully touching it. “Never seen anything like this.”

“Ghost, do you know what this is?” I asked, touching it as well. It was beautiful.

Ghost appeared and inspected the large stone. “This crystal doesn’t match anything in the City’s geological database.”

“It wouldn’t,” Petra said, chiming in over the comms. “You’ll see.”

I glanced at Cayde who arched an eyebrow at me before we continued on our way up even more steps. “We’ve got to be getting near the top,” Cayde said, looking around the corner. “Is that a tree?” He asked.

I followed his gaze beyond two large Techeun statues facing each other and, indeed, I saw tree branches and leaves. I also saw Taken appearing.

“Oh, great, these guys again,” Cayde muttered and started firing before many of them finished teleporting in. 

“Double great. They’re Thrall,” I said, trying to hit the jittering ones and finally giving up, just walking through and punching them.

“I always forget how easy it is for you to take things out with just one hit,” Cayde said, sounding impressed.

“Like that, huh?” I asked.

He nodded and punched one of the Thrall that came at him. It bounced back and shook its head, then came at him again. “See? Doesn’t work as well for me.” He hit it again, that time killing it. He pulled out his knife and stabbed the next one to come at him. That one died with one blow. 

“Hunter,” I said. “Knives are your strong suit, not fists.” I smirked. 

“Yeah, but fists are cool. You just walk up to ‘em and BAM!” Cayde said, knifing another Thrall.

I chuckled and finished the last of the Thrall off then moved further into the room, looking up at the tree. “Looks almost like a giant Bonsai,” I said. “It’s beautiful.” I admired the tree as we walked up the steps that circled it, spotting another portal on the other side. Cayde stopped and I felt the anxiety rising in him. He took a deep, careful breath, trying to relax himself. “Do you want to stay here?” I asked.

“No,” he immediately said and I could tell he was annoyed with himself for letting it get to him the last time. He checked his cannon then looked at me, ready. 

I nodded and we headed over to it. On the other side, I could make out the gray shadowed shape of another tree. Cayde paused and looked at it, then glanced behind us, then back at the portal. “That tree isn’t a reflection,” he said.

I shook my head. “No, it’s one that exists in the Ascendent Realm.”

“But no leaves, right?” He asked.

“No leaves,” I nodded. “They’re dead.”

Cayde shivered again and I switched my gun to my left hand as I moved around to his left side and took his hand, lacing our fingers together. “I’ve got you,” I told him. He nodded and held my hand, tight, as we stepped through.

The first thing to greet us was the dead tree with a large black sun floating above like an eclipsed moon, gnarled, dead branches reaching up toward it like jagged fingers.

I looked at it for a moment then started to move, only to feel my arm yank back. I turned and looked over my shoulder and saw Cayde standing there, gaping at the tree and the black sun, trembling.

“Cayde?” 

“There was nothing,” he whispered. “Everything was dead. Everyone was gone. I was all alone. And it grabbed me. It grabbed me and all I felt was pain but I couldn’t scream,” he uttered, looking around like a frightened child. “Showed me horrible things.” 

“Cayde.” I let go of his hand and cupped his cheeks in my hands, forcing him to look at me. “Who am I?”

He just stared for a moment, barley breathing.

“Cayde, who am I, sweetheart?”

“Aislin,” he whispered. 

“Where are you?”

He looked off to the side at the tree.

“No, no, look at me,” I gently said. “Where are you?”

“Watchtower,” he said, his voice remaining quiet, as if he were afraid to speak too loud.

“That’s right,” I nodded. “And you know I’m not going to let anything happen to you, right?”

He nodded. “Right.”

“I’m not going to let anything grab you.”

“You won’t let anything grab me,” he said, nodding again.

“I’ve got you,” I assured.

“You’ve got me,” he repeated.

I stroked his cheeks. 

“Obey me,” we heard echo around us in Mara Sow’s voice, and Cayde jumped a little. “Free meeeeee,” she beckoningly breathed. 

I felt a light hit of arc energy to my shoulder and winced. That seemed to jar Cayde out of wherever he’d gone. “We got more Taken,” he said, aiming and firing his cannon. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, putting up another shield to give us some cover as we returned fire. There were a lot of them and the shield broke down fast. 

“Over there,” Cayde said, pointing to a set of steps that led up into a small alcove. We ran for it and took cover, one of us firing while the other reloaded until we eliminated all of the Taken. 

When we were clear, we stepped out. Silent lightning flickered off in the distance, revealing twisted and broken shapes. I felt Cayde press up against me as he looked around, gun still drawn and focused wherever he looked. “I don’t see anymore, do you?” He asked.

“Nothing, but I know there’s more somewhere. I could hear them,” I said, looking around. 

Sure enough, a few more Taken, scattered about the area, took shots at us but we put an end to them rather quickly. Lightning flashed again, showing what looked like broken and segmented ruins not far from where we were through the heavy, dust-filled winds. Broken bits of glass from the immense rose window of the Watchtower were laid out and floating above us, suspended. 

“Which way’s outta here?” Cayde asked. 

“This way,” I told him, following the path. “Watch your step,” I told him as we came up on a section that was not only missing, but tilted to the side, making getting one’s footing tricky. 

I saw him look over the edge and his eyes went wide before he quickly stumbled back, plastering himself against the stone, closing his eyes, his breathing heavy and fast. “What the hell is wrong with me?!” He asked, trembling again. 

I reached out and made to take his hand and he tensed. “It’s just me. It’s okay,” I told him. “Come on. I’ve got you.”

He shook his head, eyes still closed. 

“Cayde, you can’t stay here. Take my hand. I won’t let you fall, I promise,” I told him. I was worried. I was very worried. His reaction was actually starting to scare me, it was so unlike him, but I had to push that aside right now. “You can do it,” I said.

“I don’t - Ais, I wanna move, but I can’t,” he said, shaking his head, sobbing a little. “I don’t understand. I can’t - I can’t move.” I could feel the fear washing over him. Something was happening and even he didn’t know what it was. 

I stepped over to him, right in front of him. “I’m right here,” I told him. “I’m right in front of you. You’re not gong to fall. Okay?” I said. “Just put your arms around me. You don’t have to open your eyes.” I slipped my arm around his waist. “See? I’m right here. Put your arms around me.” The only thing I could think was happening was a part of him remembered something from his past, something he had nightmares about - something he’d written down in a journal - and it had been terrifying enough this place was triggering it and paralyzing him with fear. And it had to be a hell of a thing if it was triggering this kind of response in him of all people. 

Eventually, Cayde managed to put his arms around me, holding onto me so tight, I swore he was crushing my armor! 

“I’ve got you, okay?” I told him. “You trust me?”

He nodded. 

“I won’t let you fall,” I vowed. “You feel your feet leave the ground, we’re jumping, not falling. Alright? I won’t let go, okay?”

Again, he nodded. 

“Aislin?” Ghost asked.

“I’ve got him,” I told him. “Just stay hidden for now.” I led us closer to the broken structure realizing it was actually upside down. Cayde was doing his best to walk without opening his eyes, and I could feel he was trying to override the fear but having a hell of a time with it. “I gotchya,” I told him. I led us around a black sun that was set into the center of a broken section of platform that came to an end on the other side. The only way to the next part was to jump. “We have to jump here, okay?”

He nodded and held onto me tighter. I secured my arm around his waist and jumped. 

Of course, mid-way through the air, a Taken Phalanx just had to appear on the platform we were jumping to. It raised its shield and attempted to blast us back and knock us off the edge. I turned myself into the blast, shielding Cayde, and pushed back against the blast as I fired at the Phalanx’s legs, forcing it to drop the shield and stumble back then shot it in the head. It disappeared in an echoing howl, leaving the path clear.

“Ais?” Cayde uttered.

“Everything’s fine,” I told him. “All taken care of.”

“I-I see that,” he managed and I looked at him, seeing his eyes were open. 

“You okay?”

“I’m tryin’,” he nodded. “I never felt …” He shook his head. “I feel like I’m trapped in the nightmare.” He looked over at the large back sun beside us, then at me. I gave his waist a squeeze. “It’s okay,” I assured him. “I’m with you this time,” I said and started walking again.

“Free me, O brother mine …” Mara Sov’s voice again.

“No,” Uldren uttered. “ No, no, no, no … Something's wrong.”

“You got that right, pal,” Cayde uttered.

We came up to the edge of the platform and Cayde gasped and close this eyes, holding on tighter. “Sorry,” he meekly uttered. “I-I can’t …”. This was so not like him. “It’s alright, I’ve got you,” I reassured, then jumped us up to a piece of the walkway suspended in the nothingness around us. “Keep your eyes closed,” I gently murmured, then walked us out onto a pillar that was laying sideways and jumped us to the next section. When the lightning flashed again, the structure in front of us looked like it was the Watchtower but the outside of it. Somehow we’d gotten outside within the Ascendant Realm. I jumped us to another broken piece of walkway, then one more, before leaping into the upside down structure that seemed both upside down and right side up.

I didn’t have time to really try and make sense of it because more Taken appeared. I hurried us to a large piece of black crystal and put up my shield, getting Cayde to sit down. He hesitantly opened his eyes and looked at me, then around the space. “You’re safe. Not near any edges. But I got too many Taken on us. I got to let you go to stop them,” I told him.

He nodded and I let go, dodging back and forth through my shield to shoot as many Taken as I could. It was made more difficult with the damn Goblins protecting the Centurion. I fired at one only to have another take over shielding him. “Damnit,” I grumbled and ducked back behind the shield to reload. As I did, I heard Cayde’s cannon going off and my head shot up in surprise, seeing one of the Goblins disappear before looking over to see Cayde leaning against the black Crystal, down on one knee, firing around my shield. I smiled as I felt him trying to fight off the fear as best he could, then focused my attention back on the Taken until the two of us managed to clear all of them out, even one sneaky Hobgoblin trying to shoot at us from afar. 

I reloaded as my shield disappeared then hurried over to Cayde who was still leaning against the crystal, carefully getting to his feet. “You alright?” I asked.

He nodded. “Couldn’t letchya have all the fun there,” he attempted, offering a weak smile.

I reached over and caressed his cheek, nodding. I was proud of him. Whatever had triggered this fear, it was a hell of a scary thing and he was fighting it as best he could.

I moved on ahead a bit, looking to see if there were more jumps we needed to make and, sure enough, there were so I helped Cayde across, back into the Watchtower.

Soon as we got inside a very large Taken Knight appeared and roared, spewing fire at us. We dashed off to the side behind a pillar, Cayde pulling his cannon back out. “We are most definitely not vacationing here ever again. The weather is lousy, the hiking trials are givin’ me vertigo, we weren’t even offered any food, and the locals are total assholes,” he said, twisting around the side of the pillar, firing a couple good shots at the Knight.

I chuckled. He was trying like hell to pull himself back from whatever had paralyzed him earlier and doing a pretty good job of it. I pulled out the grenade launcher and aimed it at the Knight. It spewed fire at me, the heat quickly damaging my armor but I got four quick shots off, actually killing him! I was shocked. I was even more shocked that a portal appeared as his body disappeared. Three Taken Thrall appeared, trying to stop us, but Cayde shot them then grabbed my hand and hurried us out, wanting to be back in our own realm.

As we arrived back in the Watchtower, Cayde stumbled over to the steps in front of us and sat, leaning forward like he was going to be sick. I hurried over to him and sat beside him, laying my hand on his back. “You okay?”

“No,” he said. He swallowed a few times, breathing carefully.

“You going to be sick?”

“I don’t know,” he uttered, shaking his head.

“Aislin? Cayde?” Petra asked over the comms. “Everything alright?”

“Give us a couple minutes,” I said.

“Whatever Uldren’s doing, it’s not going to wait a couple minutes,” Petra said.

Cayde nodded and made to get to his feet, a little shaky, but determined. I stood with him. “We’re on it, P.V.,” he said and looked at me, giving me a nod. “I’m alright. Let’s finish this.”

 

A bright, blinding light greeted us as we reached the top of the Watchtower and we saw Uldren standing before a huge portal, collapsing to his knees as the light from it ebbed. 

“Mara?” He uttered and Cayde and I looked up at the portal seeing a tiny figure in the center, gradually coming through.

“Uldren …” Mara softly said. “You brave, devoted, pathetic fool. Thank you.”

“Somethin’ ain’t right …” Cayde uttered, hand on my arm, backing us up a little. I looked at Cayde as I backed up with him before I looked back over at Uldren, who was reaching out to the shadowed female form descending toward him. As Mara Sov reached out to her brother, I watched her form change to that of a grotesque rounded creature with transparent tentacles and a huge, gaping maw for a mouth, lined with dozens of sharp teeth. It grabbed Uldren, who screamed and struggled in its grasp, and sucked him into his mouth, eating him whole.

My jaw dropped. “Holy shit! What the fuck is that?!” I looked over at Cayde who stood there, a mixed look of stunned and grossed out on his face. 

“I don’t know, but it’s big, ugly, pissed off, and just ate a peacock!” He grabbed me and ducked us back behind some large pillars as whatever the thing was spotted us. It lowly growled and blasted us with several hits of some variation of an axion bolt, the power behind them rattling us as they hit the ground and pillar. I aimed my rifle at it only to get hit in the arms by one, the strength of it knocking the rifle out of my hands and sending intense pain right up my arms to my shoulders.

I hissed and fell back behind the safety of the pillar, holding my arms out as Cayde crouched beside me. “Ais?”

“Ooooh, damn, that hurts like hell,” I wheezed, tears in my eyes from the pain. “Feels like I got the worst muscle cramps ever.” My hands started shaking and Cayde held them up so I didn’t have to as he pulled the pack Ghost was hiding in around so he could heal me.

As soon as the pain was gone, I sagged with relief, flexing my hands. I looked over at both of them and set my hand on Cayde’s arm, giving it a squeeze as I pet the top of the pack Ghost was in, thanking him. I looked over and saw my rifle was on the ground where I could get hit again if I tried to grab it. “Damn,” I uttered. 

“I’ll distract it, you grab your rifle,” Cayde said, and went around the other side shooting at whatever it was. As soon as it was focused on Cayde, I made the grab for the rifle and started firing, bringing it’s attention back on me so Cayde could reload. Once he started opening fire again, I switched to the grenade launcher and fired three quick bursts , hitting it good. We heard Uldren screaming from inside it just before everything went dark and we found ourselves back in the Ascendent Realm versions of the same space. I saw Cayde slide down the wall and wince, then slam his fist into the ground before he managed to get hold of himself and focus, coming over to me.

“Cayde - ”

“No, no. Don’t,” he shook his head. “I don’t wanna think about it,” he said as he looked around the pillar seeing Taken beginning to appear. I put up a shield and fired around it, doing my best to take them out as they appear so we didn’t have too many on us at once. Cayde climbed the steps next to us and got in a position just above them and fired at the ones I couldn’t get a clean shot on from where I was. 

Just as we thought we’d finished them all off, more appeared, these ones Taken Phalanx’s with shields. I heard Cayde grumble and take out his sniper, aiming for their legs then taking them out with headshots as they dropped their shields. A Centurion sent out an axion bolt that danced and bobbed about in the air as it came at him, then surprised Cayde, dashing around and behind him then nailed him right in the center of his back! It knocked him down onto his hands and knees, taking the wind right out of him. “Ooooh, that hurt,” he muttered as I locked onto the Centurion and fired, wounding it but not managing to kill it before it hid. I helped Cayde up and saw light from the pack come out, healing him. Cayde reloaded and resumed firing on any Taken that fell into his sights. 

“Watch out. We got more Vandals on the left,” I said.

“See ‘em,” he nodded and took them out, clearing the area of all the Taken, save that Centurion. I jumped down to go find it and realized the floor beneath us was covered in damaging black liquid. Nothing I hadn’t encountered before, but really damned inconvenient. I jumped up and landed on the stone nearby. 

“Watch your feet,” I told him. “This stuff’s like that crap the Machinist had all over the place, just really damn cold.” I heard another axion bolt flying through the air and shot it as I looked for the Centurion. It came out from behind a large Techeun statue and sent another axion bolt my way. Cayde shot it so I could focus fire on the Taken. 

He was tough and it took a few rounds but I finally got him, a portal appearing where he’d disappeared. Cayde and I looked to each other just as we both made a run for it. “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Damnit!” Cayde hissed then jumped away from the black liquid, landing on the stone and dashed through the portal at the same time I did.

Soon as I went through the portal, I felt Cayde’s hand grab my arm and yank me out of the way, just as the giant tentacled meatball started firing at us once again. I sent several grenades at it, getting hit by it’s axion bolt once again, but I’d managed to damage it pretty good, so it’d been worth it. Once Ghost healed me, Cayde and I made to open fire on it again only to realize it had put up some kind of shield. We heard Uldren’s echoing scream once again and part of me actually felt bad. Whatever had happened, he wasn’t totally to blame. He wasn’t innocent, not by a long shot, but this hadn’t all been his doing alone. Whatever this thing was, it had tricked him; It had been using him. 

“We gotta take out that shield!” Cayde called to me from the other side of the platform where he was ducked down behind a solid stone railing for cover. “Looks like there’s two things keeping it up. I’ll hit this one, you get the one on the other side!” He called over the blasts and screaming.

Together, we managed to take out the shield, but not without getting hit a few times ourselves from the Taken that appeared to offer defense. When Cayde and I both made our way back to each other, we were both shot up and bleeding. Ghost healed us just as another cry from Uldren rang out. “SISTER! HELP!”

I looked to Cayde who was readying his sniper and balanced it on the stone railing giving me a nod. I nodded back, knowing the plan without him having to say anything. 

As Cayde fired several rounds into the creature, I activated my super and charged out, leaping into the air and slamming my hammer down, sending a line of fire toward it, a vortex of flames burning beneath it. It cried out and shook, howling and snarling. I brought the hammer around again, just about to slam it down, when we found ourselves transported back to the Ascendant Plane. “Son-of-a-bitch!” I screamed in frustration, looking around. “Cayde?!” 

“Behind you!” He yelled, pointing. I looked over my shoulder to see a large group of Taken appear practically right ton top of me. Cayde ran out, leaping into the air, sending burning blades raining down on them. As soon as he was on his feet again, he grabbed my hand and ran us back behind cover. Once we were crouched down behind the stone, I pet his knee in thanks then pulled my rifle back out as he reloaded his cannon. “I’m gettin’ low here,” he said.

“Same,” I nodded. “I got a couple more grenades, though.”

“Save ‘em,” he said, twisting around and firing over the top of the stone. I heard a gust of wind and a low crackle signaling more Taken had appeared. “Damnit,” Cayde grumbled. “We got more to the right.” He ducked back down to reload as I took up his position and fired. 

“I can’t get them from here. Too many things in the way,” I told him, and stayed low, moving to a new spot as Cayde covered me. A Taken Knight appeared and started spewing fire at me, burning the area all around. I took a few hits, feeling my armor heat up on my legs, burning me underneath. I hissed and backed away, still shooting. A could hear loud booming shots ring out and I watched the Knight stagger, realizing Cayde had hit it with his sniper. I took cover and started firing from the new position and the two of us gradually beat them all back, a new portal appearing.

As we dashed through, we found ourselves face to face with the tentacled creature once again, having to quickly duck to the side for cover before getting hit. The creature bombarded us with one axion bolt after another, stone and other debris breaking loose and falling on and around us. Cayde balanced his sniper back up on top of the railing and started firing at the creature again. It roared and fired back, the blast slamming into the pillar beside us. A large chunk of it broke away and came falling down right on top of us. We didn’t have time to move and, without giving it a thought, I covered Cayde’s body with mine, taking the brunt of the weight as it landed. Cayde got knocked to the ground by my body hitting him as the stone slammed into my back. He rolled over, looking up at me with wide, stunned eyes as I braced it. “MOVE!” I yelled, and he scrambled out of the way just as I spun myself out from under it. It smashed into the floor, shaking the ground and I staggered off to the side, lightheaded, collapsing onto my hands and knees, gasping for air. 

“Ais?!” Cayde was at my side, gaping in surprise. “Are you crazy?!” 

I looked up, seeing the purple glow of another axion bolt coming at Cayde and grabbed him by the scarf, yanking him down out of the way as it slammed into the wall behind us, just missing him.

That was it. 

I’d had it. 

It was the last straw and I couldn’t take any more. Whatever had happened with Uldren, the Barons, the Reef, the prison … Cayde getting hurt - nearly dying, losing his Light and Sundance; all the shit going on surrounding it … Enough.

“We end this. _Now_ ,” I told him and, judging by the look on his face, I think he realized how pissed off I was. I took out my machine gun and started walking toward the creature, my finger holding the trigger down, unloading everything I had on it. More Taken tried getting in my way, firing at me to try and stop me. I took a couple hits but barely felt them and didn’t even react, I was so focused. I heard Cayde’s gun going off and watched the Taken gradually get thinned out as he covered me. When my gun ran out of ammo I dropped it to the ground and pulled out my grenade launcher, firing one round right after the other.

With only two shells left, I heard Uldren scream again. The creature shook and growled then suddenly exploded and vomited up Uldren’s body, leaving it in a crumpled heap on the ground. A vortex appeared behind it and it cried out just before it was sucked back into it, disappearing.

 

The room went quiet and still and I saw something laying on the ground not far from Uldren. I pulled my helmet off and walked over to it, seeing it was Cayde’s Ace of Spades cannon. I actually found myself looking at it with compassion as I bent down, picking it up, and looked at it, holding it in my hand gently, as if it were something far more precious than a mere gun. Behind me, I heard coughing and gasping and turned to see Uldren weakly trying to drag himself away. Ghost appeared beside me and I stepped over to Uldren who started laughing ironically as he saw me, rolling over onto his back.

I raised the cannon at him, holding him at gunpoint.

He stared up at me, chuckling again. “Congratulations. You have my undivided attention.” He pushed himself up a bit and glared at me. “Now where's my sister?”

I heard footsteps coming up beside me, lighter than Cayde’s, and knew who it was. “She's not here, Uldren … And if she was … this would be a whole lot easier,” Petra told him, her own gun pointed at him.

I could feel Cayde was nearby but, for whatever reason, he hadn’t stepped out yet. He seemed to be waiting for something - watching.

Uldren sighed, sagging a bit, eyes closing. “So … this is to be a reckoning.” 

“Wait,” Ghost said. “Not like this. Look at him - he's finished. Even with everything he's done, we can't just - ” 

“You have no idea what he's done!” Petra angrily shot back. “To the Reef! To our people! … And Cayde …” I knew she knew Ghost understood what had happened to Cayde all too well. But she was angry for more reasons than we were and lashing out.

“Yes,” Uldren sighed. “What would the notorious Cayde-6 do? You have his gun. Seems you get the last word.”

It suddenly dawned on me that Uldren had no idea Cayde was alive. The Barons, for whatever reason - even Fikrul - they hadn’t told him. Either that, or he’d been so set on getting Mara back he hadn’t been with them. 

I heard slow moving boot-steps on the stone behind me and sensed Cayde there, gradually making his way over to us. As I watched Uldren notice the sound and look past me to see who it was, his eyes gradually grew wider, his lips parting a little in disbelieving shock. He shook his head just as Cayde stepped up beside me, standing between Petra and myself.

“No …” Uldren breathed, shaking his head. “You’re dead. Your Ghost was killed. You were mortal. That’s impossible!” He shouted, now both shocked _and_ angry. “How? How did you survive?” He asked, shaking his head.

Cayde stepped closer and crouched down beside him. “I could tell you,” he softly said, nodding a little. His tone was actually sympathetic and I could feel he held no anger toward Uldren for what happened, just pity. “But I really don’t think you’d understand.”

“Everything I did,” Uldren uttered, “I did for her!” He said of Mara.

Cayde slowly nodded. “And everything she did,” he said, gesturing over his shoulder at me. “She did for me.”

Uldren blinked at him and Cayde stood back up and walked over to me, setting his hand on his gun, gently forcing me to lower it as he shook his head at me.

I looked at him and I understood. There was no point. Killing Uldren wouldn’t undo a damn thing that had happened. And, while he was hardly innocent, he’d also been a puppet of sorts. At the mercy of something else. It was what he’d been his whole life. Mara had taken advantage of his devotion to her. And something else had, too. Whatever it was, I was sure we hadn’t heard the last of it. 

I loosened my grip on the Ace of Spades and turned it in my hand, offering it back to Cayde. He gave me a soft smile and took it, brushing his fingers over mine as he held it in his hand once again. I felt something wash over him then. Something akin to feeling whole. Sundance was still gone, but having the Ace back … that was a big piece he’d needed. He looked up at me, then drew me into a hug, sighing. “Thank you, Ais,” he whispered, turning his head, kissing my cheek.

I hugged him back then felt him turn a bit in my arms. “Petra … ” he uttered.

I looked over, noticing she still had her gun trained on Uldren, her eye wild with rage. 

“P.V.,” Cayde tried again, whispering gently to her as he reached out, carefully setting his hand on her arm. “It’s over.” She quickly shook her head, the gun in her hands trembling. Cayde let go of me as he carefully slid his hand down her arm and over the gun, getting her to lower it. “It’s over,” he whispered again.

She looked at him, her eye brimming with unshed tears. Cayde eased the gun out of her hand and gave it to me as he put his arms around her. She stiffened at first, then sagged against him, allowing him to hold her. As a Corsair, Emissary, and Regent-Commander, her code never allowed her to show emotion. Never allowed her to be what was seen as weak in any way. But, even she had limits and, like Cayde and I, she’d been through a lot, only she’d had no one to be there for her.

I heard shuffling to my side and saw Uldren attempting to take advantage of the moment to get away. I pulled the hammer back on the gun in my hand and he stopped as soon as he heard it. I shook my head at him. 

 

We helped Petra get Uldren secured on her ship docked at the top of the Watchtower. “Where will you take him?” I asked.

“We have a place we can hold him for now. Until the prison is secured and up and running again,” she told me. I offered her my hand and she took it, shaking it as we softly smiled at each other. “Thank you, Cousin,” she nodded. She then looked to Cayde and smiled at him. “Cayde, I …” she shook her head.

“Yeah, me, too, P.V.,” he nodded and offered her his hand as well. She took it and held it in hers, looking at him with fondness. “You ever need anything - call Ikora next time,” he joked.

She lightly chuckled and nodded. “Go home,” she told us. "Get some rest.” With that, she nodded and boarded her ship, lifting off from its docked place against the spire.

Cayde put his arm around me as we both waved, Petra’s ship disappearing into the horizon. I looked over at Cayde and he turned his head, kissing my temple. “Let’s go home,” he murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there you go! I know it sounds like the end, but it's not. I'll have another chapter out soon! :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Waves* . Okay readers ... Seems a lot of you just really enjoy Cayde and Ais 'people moments'. Meaning, you enjoy seeing them just being themselves, together, not necessarily doing their Guardian or Vanguard thing. So here's some of that! :) . There's more to this coming ASAP, so be prepared for more cuddles, sweetness, and all that other cavity-inducing goodness that comes with them taking some time off! :) . Also wanted to explore more of who Cayde is and put out some other things I think make up who he is. Hope you all enjoy! <3  
> ~Ais

After being given strict instructions form Ikora and Zavala to go home and get some rest, that reports and other paperwork could be handled tomorrow, we found ourselves happily back inside the apartment. 

I felt like I could sleep forever after the last couple of days.

“I bet that’s the first time Zavala’s been lax on any reports, ever, huh?” I asked Cayde as I got my armor off and laid it in its rack in the closet.

I didn’t hear any reply.

“Cayde?” I leaned back out through the door and saw there was no one there. I frowned, noticing the living room light was on and toed off my boots before heading over.

When I walked through the archway, I saw him, still in his armor and cloak, on his knees in the corner, moving a couple of his things off the small cache box I knew he kept some of his journals in. He punched in a secure code on the front and, as soon as the top popped and slid open, he started digging through it, gently setting several filled journals aside before taking one out I recognized. The Treasure Island journal. He sat down and criss-crossed his legs and started flipping through pages until he stopped and stared at whatever was on the page. I stepped in a little further. “Cayde?” I softly said.

“ _There's no bounty. No Hive. I'm out in plain sight. Sky is torn open and there's nothing and nobody left in this ruined world but me and the boiling shadow all around_ ,” he quietly read to me. “ _Whatever it is hits me before I can level my gun. Doesn't matter. Tendrils of pain crawl over my splayed fingers, my outstretched arms, my shoulders, my neck, my screaming mouth as it consumes. I'm being enveloped. Everything is wrong. Primordial. My systems go sideways. All but my sensors. It wants me to witness this, the world_.” He sighed and looked up from the journal out the window, staring at the dimming light of the setting sun.

I went over to him and sat down on the floor beside him. 

“I dream about it,” he said, his voice soft and low, still looking out the window. “A lot. Not just this exact moment,” he said, touching the page with his fingers, “but of the Darkness, itself. Of pain. Of it all around me.” He looked at me. “I can’t remember this moment. Of it happening. I only know it through this part that another me wrote. But it’s still up here somewhere,” he said, tapping his temple with the tip of his finger. “Whatever that me knew and saw is up here somewhere. And it comes back to me in dreams.” He looked out the window again. “Being in the Ascendant Realm … it was nothin’ like I though it’d be. You’d told about it a lot, yeah, but … I pictured somethin’ different. And the feeling of it … It was the same feeling I get in the nightmares. Cold. Dark. Frightening. Things deep down. Way down. That come out of that blackness. Walking terrors.” He shivered at the thought and closed the journal. “I’m sorry, Ais. I didn’t mean to freeze up.” He closed his eyes, bowing his head a bit. “It’s pretty embarrassing, actually. I felt like I was five and scared of a monster under the bed.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t even move.”

I set my hand on his back and he looked over at me then leaned into me. I didn’t say anything, I just held him, knowing all he wanted was to say what was on his chest. 

“I feel like I letchya down somehow. I know you’re gonna say I didn’t. But I feel like it anyway. I never had that happen before. And I’ve … I’ve seen a helluva lotta crazy, freaky stuff in my time. But nothin’ ever made me so scared I froze like that. And this was … this was a different scared than, y’know, like, loss. This wasn’t that kinda scared. This was somethin’ different. Somethin’ deep and - ” He shook his head. “Like that fight or flight thing. And, usually, I’m a fighter. Y’know? The bigger, the badder, the scarier, the more I fight. Cause that’s the thing. You can’t let the monsters win. But this just … It was like somethin’ hijacked my body and just froze me in place. I was screamin’ at myself to move. To get over it. To stop bein’ so damn weak.” He shook his head. “But I couldn’t move.”

I could sense he felt disappointed in himself. I wanted to tell him to not be. That it was okay. But I knew he wasn’t looking for that. He wanted to make sense of it all and it was frustrating him he didn’t have an answer for it. That he couldn’t remember.

I pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head and rubbed his back. “Have you always had dreams of that particular part of the journal in this life?” I murmured. “Or did something trigger them?” I knew he’d had nightmares about the Darkness, but he’d never gone into detail about them and I took that as a hint not to press the issue.

“When I saw the footage from your trip to Phobos and saw the Taken - the black patches of nothingness … that’s when they started. Little pieces at first. Just flashes, mixed in with other stuff. But … after a while … they got worse.”

“Have you told anyone besides me about them?”

He shook his head.

I had to admit, I was a little surprised. I honestly figured he’d have at least talked with Ikora about them. That I was the only one … well, it filled me with a mix of love and sentiment that he trusted only me with knowing, but also worried me that he had kept it all hidden without talking to anyone and that was part of the reason his reaction had been so paralyzing.

“Doesn’t really seem to matter, Ais. I’m an Exo. We can talk all we want but the ghosts stay. Just the way our brains are wired in here,” he said, tapping the side of his head again.

“You’re still human in there, sweetheart,” I murmured. “Talking may not stop the dreams, but it might help you cope better.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” he said.

I thought for a moment, then pressed another soothing kiss to the top of his head. “When we stepped through the second portal, the tree seemed to trigger something,” I carefully reminded. “You've seen the trees before?”

He nodded. “In the dreams. They aren’t Ascendant trees, though. Just … everything is … dead. Gone. The world is in ruins. That’s all I see. Every time.” He shook his head. “No fire. No smoke. Nothing. It’s like … everything just … died. Ended. Wherever there was life, there isn’t anymore. And I’m alone. All alone surrounded by this … boiling … blackness that … closes in on me.” He shivered again and shook his head, burrowing into me, trembling. “I can’t, Ais. I can’t.”

“Okay,” I nodded. “You don’t have to,” I whispered, rocking him a little. I had no doubt one of the other versions of himself had seen the Collapse and that’s what the journal entry was as well as the dreams. It only made sense the Ascendant Realm was going to trigger those feelings and memories that had long been buried and forgotten in some capacity. What I didn’t understand was the cold. Why he felt so cold there or why he felt the cold the way he did in general. I was pretty sure the change had happened on Enceladus, but the why - the reason for that change - I hadn’t figured that out yet.

“Hey,” I whispered, “how ‘bout a hot bath?” I asked. “Take some of that cold feeling away.”

He didn’t react at first but, after a few moments, he finally replied. "You don’t have to do that, Ais. You've got to be tired.”

“You know better than to say that to me,” I affectionately said.

His body jerked a little with a bit of a knowing laugh and he nodded. “A bath would be nice.”

 

While the tub filled, I changed out of my clothes and put on a robe, then went out to the kitchen and poured a little glass of Ab~Synth for Cayde, placing the bottle of green-colored Exo alcohol back up in the cabinet. I had tried it once. Just once. And that had been HORRIBLE. I couldn’t even describe the taste, just that it was absolutely disgusting and I involuntarily spit it out as soon as it touched my tongue! Cayde, of course, had laughed at me, nearly falling over. To him, it tasted fine, but it was a synthetic alcohol made just for Exos. People weren’t supposed to drink it. It’d likely make us sick if we did. Still, my curiosity had gotten to me and I’d snuck a taste from his glass once. Never again! Instead, I pulled another bottle out, this one being apricot brandy, and poured a little in another glass for myself, then carried both glasses to the bathroom and set them on the wood ledge surrounding the tub. I checked on the water, which was a quarter of the way up, then dripped some lavender oil in before I went back out to the hallway by the front door, to check on Cayde. “You doing alright?” I asked, noticing he had most of his armor off and hung up in the closet, save the under layer. 

“Yeah, almost done,” he said, trying to reach a clip for the left gauntlet at the back of his shoulder. I stepped over to him and got it for him, unhooking it and easing it down off his arm. He watched me, his eyes following my movements as I hung it up with the rest of the armor before he grabbed me up in hug and just stood there, holding me. I put my arms around him and held him right back. “It’s okay,” I murmured.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” he murmured back.

“I’m glad you’re here, too,” I whispered. He hugged me a bit tighter as I heard Ghost make a little throat-clearing sound to gently get our attention. I looked over at him. “Hey, Little Light,” I smiled.

Ghost bobbed at me. “I’ve turned off all notifications. Anything coming through, unless it’s an emergency, will be directed to a message system. You should be able to get some rest tonight.”

I reached over and rubbed his belly - or, rather, the belly part of his shell. “Thank you,” I said. “Now go get some rest, yourself. You did an awful lot the last couple days.”

Ghost wiggled contently at my caresses then bobbed and floated off.

“Sundance used to do that,” Cayde quietly said. “Wiggle like that when you pet her.” 

I felt a deep, longing ache wash through him at saying that and kissed his cheek. “Come on,” I softly said, then led him to the bathroom.

“I could really use a drink,” he sighed.

“Way ahead of you,” I smiled and pointed to the glasses on the ledge as we entered the bathroom.

His shoulders relaxed and he smiled at seeing the glass. “You know me so well.”

“Mmm hmm,” I nodded. “Get undressed,” I said and checked the water, turning it off. I then pressed a switch on a nearby panel that activated soft red lights along the sides of the tub in the water, giving it a warm and welcoming glow, signaling the heaters were on to keep the water from cooling off. 

“That lavender I smell?” Cayde asked, peeling off the underarmor, setting it on nearby chair before he sat down on the edge of the tub and drank the contents of the glass in one shot.

I nodded. “Should help you relax a little, along with the Ab~Synth, which I thought you’d drink a bit slower. You want me to refill it?”

“No, I’m okay,” he uttered, looking into the water.

“You can get in, you know?” I smiled. “It’s not going to bite.”

He chuckled. “I know. I just realized I’ve only ever taken a shower since living here. Never been in the tub.”

I hadn’t realized that. “When’s the last time you had a bath?” I asked.

“That sort of goes along with the last time I slept in a bed, Ais. Since I don’t ever really need it, I don’t tend to do it or use it. I have had a bath before, I know what it feels like, just not somethin’ I really do. A shower to rinse stuff off, sure, but a bath?” He shook his head. 

“We’ll have to change that,” I murmured and leaned over kissing the tip of his horn. He smiled up at me. 

“You’re gettin’ in with me, right?” He asked.

“Unless you don’t want me to,” I said, nodding. 

“No, no, I do,” he nodded. “Just, um …” He looked back down at the water, moving his jaw back a little, making it almost look like he was biting his bottom lip, if he had been capable of that. 

“What is it?” 

He looked up at me. “I feel like I’m bein’ too … clingy. Like I’m puttin’ too much on ya.”

I shook my head. “No, you’re not,” I assured him. “What do you need?”

“Will you sit behind me?” He quietly asked, almost like he was embarrassed. 

I didn’t understand the hesitation. We normally sat like that because it was just how we did things. Unless he was feeling like his pride had been wounded form what happened in the Ascendant Realm. 

I sat down on the edge with him and took his hand in mine, petting it. “You know, I don’t think any less of you in any way when you’re the one who needs to be held, right? It doesn’t make you any less strong or … less of a man in some way,” I assured him. “And I certainly don’t think that because of what happened in the Ascendant Realm.”

“Oh, I know,” he nodded, waving it off. “I don’t worry about that with you. It’s still embarrassing, but no, it’s not that. It’s more …” He frowned. “It’s …” He looked down at our hands and set his free one on top of them, holding mine. “I feel lost. Like I’m … I’m not me. Like the man I’ve always been in this life is … broken. I’m off balance and nothin’ feels steady. All the things I’ve faced, all the things I’ve seen and done … and … for the first time in all of it … I feel … Well, I feel like - You know when you go into the City and, every once in a while, there’s always some little kid who’s lost their mom and they’re freakin’ out? She’s right there, but they have that moment of not seein’ her and suddenly everything is much bigger and scarier than it was just a moment before?”

I nodded.

“That’s what it feels like. Since going in there. That’s how I feel. It’s making me feel jittery and like somethin’s gonna come outta the shadows and - ” He shook his head. “I can’t shake it.”

I squeezed his hand. “What you’re describing? That’s _exactly_ what I felt after coming back the first time.”

He looked at me. “Exactly?”

I nodded. “It’s like now you know there really are terrible things waiting in the shadows. Before you just suspected, but now … you _know_.”

He blinked at me then shook his head. “And you … this feeling … this exact feeling I have right now … this is what you felt? And you dealt with it all alone?”

“Well, I did work with those Warlock elders Ikora sent me to see. But … for the most part … yeah,” I nodded.

Cayde shook his head then hugged me. “Oh, Ais … I … I thought I got it before. Thought I understood. I really didn’t though, did I?”

I shook my head. “It’s alright. You can’t really know unless you’ve been there. And now you have. The difference between us is, you have buried memories that are making it even worse. When you looked over the edge in there, something scared the hell out of you. I saw it and felt it. It made you panic. You can’t remember what’s triggering it … but you knew to be scared.”

He swallowed and nodded then shivered.

I rubbed his arms. “Come on,” I gently said. “Get in the water. It’ll help. Trust me,” I nodded.

He eased back then twisted himself around, lifting his legs over the edge, and set them in the water then slid into the tub with a long, slow sigh. “Okay … I said it about the armor but I really mean it about the tub. I’m _never_ gettin’ out.”

I smirked and took off my robe then joined him, snuggling in behind him and wrapping him up in my arms. I felt an immense sense of contentment wash over not just him, but myself as well. The soothing heat of the water and soft scent of lavender seemed to be exactly what we’d both needed to chase away the unsettled feelings. 

“Let’s just live here,” he murmured.

I chuckled, sipping some of my brandy before setting the glass back down. “Live in the tub?”

He nodded. 

“Well, that may work for you, handsome, but I get all pruny after about a half hour.”

He snorted and lifted my hands out of the water, holding them against his own, looking at them. “I bet they still look just as pretty.”

“Wait thirty minutes and you’ll get some sense of how I’d look if I could grow old,” I chuckled.

He laughed. “I’d still love ya.” He twisted a bit in my arms, looking back at me. “And think you’re beautiful.”

I smiled and kissed him. He was so sweet. “Well, that’s good ‘cause Exo body or human, I’d still think you’re handsome as hell, old man,” I told him, playfully tapping just above where his nose sat.

His eyes crossed as he followed my finger, then scrunched up his face and laughed. “Ooooh,” he sighed, resting his head back on my shoulder, hugging my arms to his chest. “You always know how to make me feel better.”

“I learned from the best,” I told him, kissing his cheek.

He sighed and closed his eyes, lifting one leg up out of the water, draping it along the edge of the tub. “I’m gonna have a helluva time sleepin’ tonight, you know?” He murmured. “And I know you’re tired. I can sleep out on the cou-”

“Don’t even say it,” I told him, cutting him off. “I need you, too, sweetheart. You’re sleeping in your bed where you belong,” I affectionately murmured. 

He pet my arms. “My bed?” He asked, and tilted his head back and to the side, looking at me with a bit of surprise.

I nodded and felt a subtle sense of realization settle over him. That he suddenly knew I didn’t just see this as my home, but his too. He wasn’t just a guest here in some way and I no longer considered the things here just mine. I hadn’t for a long time.

I felt a funny little tingle of something I couldn’t describe coming form him, then. “You okay?” I asked.

“Mm hmm,” he nodded, his tone a bit higher pitched than normal. Like he was a little … giddy. “Hey, um … I was thinkin’ - as long as nothin’ comes up and since we’re gonna take a couple days off … How … How ‘bout I take you into the City tomorrow night? We never did get that ramen when we got back from Saturn and there’s a really fancy place I haven’t been to I wanted to try.”

“Fancy? Fancy isn’t usually your thing,” I smiled.

“No, but … y’know … I wanna go out with ya.”

My smile broadened and I gave him a hug. “That sounds wonderful,” I nodded. “You do realize you’re going to have to dress in something other than your armor if you go to someplace fancy, though, right?”

He sighed rather dramatically. “I know. It’s like they’re trynna keep the riff-raff out.”

I snorted. “Do you even own any fancy clothes?”

“Nope. But I can get some,” he said. “Do you?”

“Own fancy clothes?”

He nodded.

“I have something that might work,” I nodded. 

“Good. You can do the paperwork, then. I have shopping to do,” he said, deliberately sounding like a brat.

I slipped my fingers up into his armpit and tickled him. He yelped and jumped, splashing the water all round us. “Hey, hey! Easy! I’m in a delicate state!”

“My ass,” I said.

He chuckled and settled and I snuggled back around him, resting my chin on his shoulder, closing my eyes. It was going to be a rough night for both of us, I knew. We’d been though a lot. But we had each other and we’d get through it. And the best thing was knowing Ikora and Zavala knew, too, so there wasn’t any rush tomorrow or any obligation. They’d understand if we needed the time to just sleep.

 

Just as I’d thought and Cayde had said, it was a rough night. We both ended up tossing and turning, waking up with nightmares or just bad dreams in general. And, each time one of us woke, the other was right there offering comfort. 

My dreams weren’t nearly as bad as Cyade’s, though. But I’d expected that. At one point, it took me almost ten minutes to convince him of where he was and that he was safe. Ghost even had to help, Cayde had gotten so lost in the nightmare. I eventually led him out to the living room and put Tombstone on for him as a distraction, then went and poured him another glass of Ab~Synth to help him relax.

When he finally felt like he could try to sleep again, I laid beside him, head propped up on my hand as I caressed his cheek and forehead until he settled, just as he’d done for me only a couple hours before. The last thing I remembered doing was checking the clock. 4:47am.. 

Next thing I knew, I jerked awake, not from a nightmare, but from a strange sense that I shouldn’t have nodded off because Cayde might need me. I looked down and saw he was sound asleep, the soft purring sound of his snoring even and relaxed. I smiled and pressed a tender kiss to the top of his head then checked the clock. 12:31pm.

I blinked. We’d slept for almost eight hours without waking up? On one hand, I was impressed and glad for it. On the other, I was disappointed I still felt so tired. I reached up and set the alarm to wake us up in a couple hours, then took advantage of Cayde sleeping so well, and nodded back off.

 

When I woke again, it was to Cayde coming into the bedroom as quietly as he could, wearing just a pair of casual deep blue civilian pants and a pair of socks. I smiled as I watched him go over to the dresser, pulling open one of the drawers and looking through it. Ghost came floating in just behind him and hovered over Cayde’s shoulder. “I still don’t understand why you need me to go with you?” Ghost said.

Cayde put a finger to his lips. “Shh. You’re gonna wake her,” he whispered.

“She’s already awake,” Ghost said and Cayde turned to look at me. 

I smiled at him.

“Shoot. Sorry, baby, didn’t mean to wake ya.”

“It’s fine,” I said stretching and yawning before checking the clock. It was just past three. “I thought I set the alarm?”

“Oh, you did,” Cayde nodded, pulling on a gray hooded sweater before he came over to sit on the bed beside me. “And you slept right through it.”

“I did?” I asked, eyebrows rising.

“Oh, yeah, you were out. Gonzo. Total coma,” he nodded.

I chuckled. “Wow, I must’ve been tired.”

He nodded again and I looked him over then tugged on the front of his sweater. “How come you’re all dressed?”

He smiled. “Gotta go get something fancy, remember?”

“Oh, right. Dinner,” I said.

He nodded. “Unless you need me to stay?”

I shook my head. “No, no. I’ll be fine. Want me to go with you?”

“Nope,” he shook his head, then leaned down and gave me a kiss. 

I smiled up at him. He smelled so good and so warm. I just wanted to curl right back up with him and stay in bed for the rest of the day, but knew I really should get up. “Think I’ll go see Zavala and Ikora. Get some of the reports out of the way.”

“I was only kidding about that,” Cayde said. “I’ll help. Just figured we could do that tomorrow.”

“You want to wait?” 

“Yeah, let’s wait,” he nodded. “Take it easy today, okay? Stay home. I won’t be long.”

“Seems I’m going with him,” Ghost said, floating nearby.

“Well, you do have better taste than he does,” I said, teasing Cayde.

“And here I was gonna bring you home some flowers. But after that comment …” Cayde teased back.

I chuckled and tugged him down, giving him one more kiss. “You need anything, you call me, okay?” I said. “I mean, I’m sure I’ll know, but I don’t want to hang over your shoulder and suffocate you, you know? But if you really do need me, call me.”

He nodded. “Same to you, beautiful. Don’t care what I’m doing, either. I’ll be here in a flash.”

I smiled and nodded and he kissed the back of my hand as he stood. “Love you,” he said, reluctantly letting go of my hand.

“Love you, too,” I said and he smiled before turning to head out of the bedroom. I looked at Ghost and the two of us shared a nod. I knew he’d look after Cayde if he needed anything.

After I heard the front door close, I rolled onto my back and sighed, staring up at the ceiling. It felt weird not having to get up and hurry off on a mission, or organize a strike, or go clear out a sector. 

What was I going to do?

I eventually got myself up and tidied up the bedroom, then went out to the kitchen and got some coffee, looking through the fridge. Oddly, I wasn’t very hungry but I knew I should eat. I chuckled to myself as I realized we never did make those pancakes. Maybe tomorrow morning.

Instead, I made myself some eggs and brought them and my coffee into the living room. It was then I noticed Cayde’s journals were still sitting out on the floor, the cache still opened. It was odd Cayde would forget to put them away. 

I set my plate and cup down on the coffee table and went over, crouching down, looking over the journals, recognizing, by cover, the oldest to the newest, and carefully placed them back in the cache. Part of me was very tempted to read from his latest one he’d just finished, curious, but I’d never cross that line, no matter how great the temptation. I knew he wouldn’t mind, but that wasn’t the point. These were private, regardless, and we shared so many other things, including feelings now, with the bond. There had to be some things that were just his where he didn’t feel encroached on.

I caressed the soft leather cover. He was currently writing in a new one but I knew, with everything that had happened in the last few days, he’d be writing a lot and it would be filled up rather fast. I’d pick a new one up for him next time I went out. Smiling, I placed it in with the others then went to the kitchen and took one of the smaller roses Cayde had given me out of the vase. After drying it off, I brought it in and laid it over the journals then closed the cache. 

Next, I went about setting his other things neatly back on top as he’d had them. When I picked up a hard leather case I frowned and opened it, looking inside. There were several large rolled pieces of parchment and I suddenly remembered what they were: Maps of Earth, the Moon, Venus, Nessus, and Mars that Cayde had hand drawn over the years of visiting each and spending time in the Wilds. They had to be nearly a hundred-fifty years old at this point. I shook my head. It was almost impossible to believe he was as old as he was. Zavala and Ikora, their ages fit them. They didn’t seem old, but there was an air about them that just said they’d been around a long time. But Cayde? If I’d just met him I’d guess he was maybe in his mid-to late thirties, early forties at most. Even as an Exo, who didn’t show physical age, it just seemed more fitting. But over two-hundred? It was really unbelievable. So much he’d seen and done, places he’d been to, things he’d learned and experienced. And, me, I’d barely scratched the surface at only five years. Sometimes I wondered what he saw in me. How he felt so comfortable with someone so young compared to himself. Although, he had once told me I seemed far older than I was. And then he’d panicked, thinking that came out wrong and thought he’d accidentally made it sound like he was calling me old instead of aged. Then he panicked again, thinking even ‘aged’ sounded wrong and like he was insulting me and tried to make it sound like aged like a fine wine. It just snowballed on him. I ended up laughing, though. I knew what he’d meant but it was cute how flustered he’d gotten.

I set the case down on top of the cache, leaning it against the wall, then picked up a small black leather zip bag that rattled as I moved it. I shook my head. Ever the gambler. It held his poker chips, playing cards, and a pair of loaded dice, all of which had gotten him in more trouble than out of over the years. I had noticed, though, since he and I had grown close, he’d mostly restricted the gambling to just friendly games among friends. Well, more specifically, Zavala and Ikora and occasionally Hawthorn and Shaxx. He tried to include Banshee, but the poor guy couldn’t remember things most of the time and Cayde told me playing with him would just be too easy a win. It wasn’t fair. So he’d found other ways to spend time with Banshee that were easier on the Gunsmith. I knew he’d wanted to spend time with Shiro, but Shiro had been quite busy over the past year so I was really hoping, soon, I could get him to visit the City and spend time with Cayde.

Lastly, I picked up a small wooden case and a rolled and tied piece of purple-dyed canvas. I didn’t have to open either to know what they were. The canvas was a roll out set of pockets that held paint brushes and different types of pens and pencils. Mostly they were used for his maps but he also used them to paint and draw when the mood struck him, or if he came up with a new weapon design to show off to Banshee. Occasionally he used them to add little doodles of things he remembered in his journals. The wooden case was a set of paints and colored inks for the brushes and pens. Cayde claimed he wasn’t much of an artist and pretended he didn’t really know anything about art in general, but he was so full of it. He actually liked to draw, especially landscapes. And he was good at it, too. All those years in the Wilds had given him a keen eye and time to practice. These things were personal to him, though. And, as he was fond of saying, he didn’t make a show of personal business.

After getting everything all neatly put back I sat on the couch and ate my food. I found myself smiling again and caressing the spot beside me as I thought of all the nights Cayde had spent on this couch and all the other times we’d sat together, enjoying films and reading, sometimes just talking. And, then, it suddenly hit me that, if he’d died in the prison and I’d come back here after … how many things of his there would have been here that would have left me devastated all over again on top of his death. I’d have curled up on this very couch, draped his cloak over myself and just … died with him. 

I know, it sounds dramatic, but I really believe that’s what would have happened. I just wouldn’t have cared about anything else, even if I had the will to try, the pain would have been too much. And I know that wouldn’t be what he’d want but to be without him … He’s my Light. He’s my best friend. I know I would have died of a broken heart without any chance of Ghost bringing me back. 

I heard a soft beep in my ear over the comms, then, and opened it. “Hello?” I asked.

“Hey, it’s me,” Cayde said.

“Hey,” I said, smiling, immediately brightening. “Everything okay?”

“I was just gonna ask you the same thing. I got a funny feeling you weren’t alright.”

I closed my eyes. Oops. “No, sorry. I’m fine. I just … It’s silly, really.”

“Silly?” He asked.

“Yeah. Um … you left your journals and stuff out on the floor so I put everything away and it … Thinking about you and all your stuff here, it made me think of … coming home without you and … how awful that would have been,” I murmured.

There was silence on the other end for a moment before Cayde spoke. “Where are you?”

“On the couch. Why?”

“Go to the hall closet,” he said.

“Right now?” I asked.

“Yeah, right now. Go ahead.”

I got up and went to the closet. “Okay. What do you want me to do?”

“Open it.”

I opened it. “Now what?”

“What’s in front of you?” He asked.

“You’re Hunter armor,” I said, then frowned. “Your belt and a shoulder piece are missing.”

“Oh, I brought those with me. Had to have them adjusted. Zavala did great having them repaired, but I need a couple things tweaked. Anyway, forget about that, what else do you see in there?” He asked.

“Your cloak.”

“Take the cloak out,” he instructed.

I frowned but did as he asked. “Okay …”

“Now you hold onto that until I come home,” he told me.

“Cayde …”

“Don’t argue with me. You just hold onto it.”

I shook my head and hugged it to me as I closed to closet door, heading back to the living room. As I sat down on the couch, I breathed in the scent around the neck and smiled, feeling a warm tingle all though me.

Cayde softly chuckled on the other end. “I can feel that. Better now?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I murmured, still smiling.

“Good,” he softly said. “I shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“Found something, huh?”

“I did. Just waiting on the armorsmith to finish up and I’ll be home.”

I smiled again. “I love hearing you say that. I didn’t even realize I did til just now.”

“Say what? That I’ll be home?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I mean, this place is home but … now, it really feels like a home and not just where I live. If that makes sense.”

I could feel a warmth coming from him slowly wash over me. Even all the way down in the City. Distance didn’t change anything at all - didn’t diminish the feelings or sensing each other in any way. “It makes total sense. I feel the same way, beautiful,” he murmured. “Oh, I gotta go. Stuff’s ready. I won’t be too much longer.”

“Go,” I lightly chuckled. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he said, sounding as happy as I now felt. He actually made a little kissing sound on the other end, then ended the connection. 

I laughed again, shaking my head. Part of me wanted to parade him out in front of everyone and say: ‘See? This is the real Cayde-6! This is the absolutely _wonderful_ , sweet, affectionate, loving man you all never see!’. Sure, he was kind and caring and friendly to many Guardians and others he worked with - unless you weren’t kind to him. Then he closed off to you. But this really playful, warm, so, so loving and special person he was … Oh, yeah, I wanted to show him off. Sure, I also felt like wanting to just keep him all to myself, but he was just too special and I wanted to prove some people wrong. Especially that group of Hunters that were constant assholes to him. For whatever reason, they just didn’t like him, and they made a point of showing it. I knew it hurt him some, especially since he’d been so good to them over the years as their mentor, and he told me he really didn’t know what it was he’d said or done that made them hold such animosity toward him. He’d asked them and they would just blow him off. Even I didn’t understand it. And I couldn’t do anything about it. I knew if I tried it would only make it worse. So I left it alone. I knew he didn’t lose sleep over it but I also knew, whenever he heard whispers, or saw them, it bothered him.

In the end, I figured it was their loss. Let them be jerks. They were the ones missing out. 

Of course, if they ever did anything that really did hurt Cayde, I’d tear them apart.

I couldn’t help but smirk a bit at that then put it all aside and turned on the television and switched it to the channel for the City news, curling up on the couch to watch with Cayde’s cloak draped over me.

 

I must have nodded off again because the next thing I knew, Cayde was crouched down beside the couch, hand on my shoulder, gently shaking it. 

This time, I didn’t wake with a start. It was like I just knew it was him before fully waking. I smiled at him. “Hey, handsome,” I murmured.

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead and I could smell the soft, warm scent of his cologne. I sighed. “You really musta been tired,” he murmured.

I nodded and yawned, then stretched a little. “You just get back?”

“Yup,” he nodded. “It’s almost five-thirty. I got us a reservation at seven. Good thing I checked it out, too. You can’t just walk in and get a table.”

“I still can’t believe you’re going to a fancy restaurant that requires a reservation _and_ you’re going to dress up.”

“I have my moments,” Cayde nodded, chuckling. 

I smiled again then tugged him closer and slipped my arms around him, breathing him in. “You really missed me, huh?” He softly asked, hugging me.

“In the last few days, it’s the first time we haven’t been around each other. Guess part of me is still trying to reassure myself you’re here.”

“I’m here,” he assured. “I’ll prove it,” he said then placed several soft, careful kisses all over my face, caressing me softly and whispering sweet-nothings in my ear before he worked his way down my neck. I sighed happily then, without warning, he started making playful snorting sounds as he went, deliberately tickling me with his lips and making me scrunch up and laugh, holding me tight so I couldn’t get away! I practically screamed and laughed, wriggling in his grip, shoving at his shoulder! “Cayde!”

He laughed, easing back. “First ya miss me, then ya try to shove me away. Make up your mind!”

I laughed again and grabbed him, hugging him as he hugged me back. 

This. 

Missing something as simple as this. 

Yeah. 

It would have killed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon! :D


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I may have gone crosseyed and overheated a bit in writing this one. *Fans self* I think you all will like it, though. ;)

“You know, it’s usually the woman who takes forever getting ready, Cayde,” I chuckled through the bathroom door, knocking on it for the second time. He’d been in there for quite a while. “What are you doing in there? It’s not like you have hair to fix,” I affectionately teased.

“Hey, do I ask you what _you’re_ doing while you’re in the bathroom?” Cayde called back. “I’ll be out soon.”

I snickered and let him be, going back out to the kitchen, finishing off a glass of wine I’d poured. 

A little while later, I heard the soft clacking of dress shoes on the floor and looked up, seeing Cayde came out into the kitchen as he adjusted his sleeve under his jacket. I couldn’t stop my jaw going slack and my mouth hanging open a little when I saw him.

He looked up at me and stood there, seeming surprised by my reaction. He was dressed in a white, high-collar dress shirt under a black dinner jacket with a slanted button closure and matching pants. He’d even bought a new pair of black dress shoes to match. I couldn’t believe it. He was basically in a casual tux and … Traveler help me, if it wasn’t the sexiest thing I’d ever seen! He looked so good. Like, insanely good. 

“Wow,” I breathed.

Cayde smiled, shyly, bowing his head a bit at the flattery. “You like it?”

“I … I love it,” I softly said, truly in awe at how good he looked. I stepped over to him, gently sliding my hands up over his lapels, curling my fingers around them as I smiled at him, tugging him closer to me. “I’ve never even tried to imagine you all dressed up before,” I softly said. “You look so handsome.” I gave him a kiss.

Cayde softly chuckled against my lips, sliding his hands around me. “He helped,” he said, gesturing to Ghost who was floating nearby. 

I smiled. “Told you he had good taste,” I said, grinning over at Ghost as he came floating closer to us, curling his shell about himself in a bit of a shy motion.

“Cayde picked it out. I just told him it looked nice and you’d like it,” Ghost said.

“Oh, I definitely like it,” I nodded as I felt Cayde step back to look at my dress. It was just a simple black dress I’d had put away for any special event that might come along. It was knee-length and form fitting, and was off the shoulder with an open back and long, sheer, slightly billowing sleeves that came back in and buttoned around my wrists. It was both light and playful, yet elegant. I wasn’t used to wearing something so dressy, either, so I felt a little strange. “Does it look okay?” I asked, turning for him.

“Absolutely stunning,” Cayde whispered, nodding, his eyes slowly trailing over me, making me feel so beautiful at the loving way he was looking at me. “But it’s missing something,” he said, tilting his head.

“Oh, I have a coat that goes with it. I know it’s chilly out bu-”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “That’s not it.” He held up a finger and went to the fridge. I frowned as I watched him pull a small brown paper bag out and set it on the island, opening it. As he slid out a small clear case, I saw, inside it held a beautifully made sunflower corsage accented with baby’s breath and a teal ribbon that matched the teal color of his face. He carefully took it out and brought it over to me, waiting for me to offer him my wrist.

I blinked at the flower, then at Cayde and daftly lifted my left hand. He smiled at me as he eased it on, then lifted my hand to his lips and gave the back of it a kiss. I was completely stunned. "How did you know to get one of these?” I asked. Not that it was a requirement or anything. It wasn’t. Actually, it was just a very old tradition that was a lovely gesture. But that he thought to get something like this … I was so touched. 

He smiled. “You know me,” he softly said, stepping closer, putting his arms back around me. “I like those super cheesy romance novels. Hell, I like romance in general,” he put his finger to his lips. “But, shh. Don’t tell anyone,” he whispered, then playfully nuzzled me.

I actually giggled a little and kissed him again. 

He smiled. “Anyway, I just thought you might like it,” he murmured, gently brushing a few strands of my hair from my face. “Also, I know sunflowers are your favorite,” he added. 

I smiled. “You remembered that, hm?”

He nodded. “Mmm hmm,” he affectionately murmured. 

I leaned into him, giving him another kiss and a hug. “Thank you. I love it,” I told him.

“You’re welcome,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine as he returned the hug. “Now, you were saying something about a coat?”

“Oh, yeah, in the closet. I was going to grab it on the way out,” I explained. He nodded and kissed me, then stepped away and went to the closet, opening it. As I went over to him, he pulled it out. “This it?” He asked, showing me a mid-length, lightweight, black dress coat. I nodded and he closed the door and came over behind me, holding it open.

I slipped my arms inside, careful of the corsage, and he settled it down over my shoulders, rubbing them affectionately before he stepped around beside me and offered me his arm.

I took it. “This is a side of you I’ve never quite seen,” I said, practically grinning. Not that Cayde couldn’t be gentlemanly. He could. But it was different tonight in some way. “Put you in a suit and look what happens,” I smiled. 

“I have my moments,” he smiled back, caressing my cheek. I leaned into his touch as I closed my eyes. It was strange to be doted on like this but I got the sense he was really enjoying it and, I had to admit, even if strange, it felt good.

“You ready?” He asked and I nodded, picking up a small purse. Ghost floated closer and disappeared inside, then Cayde escorted me out and down into the City.

 

I hadn’t been into the City in a while. Any items or food needed for the apartment I’d ordered or Cayde had brought home. But I’d just been too busy with missions and too tired at the end of the day to do it myself. The last time I’d personally been down here was to help with some rebuilding in another sector. This part of the City, though, it was bright and lively, colorful lanterns lit and strung about, street vendors calling out about their wares and chatting with crowds, and tons of people moving all around. There were more people in the area than normal, too, some temporarily housed in a nearby sector until theirs was fully rebuilt. 

As we moved closer to where the restaurant was, I could smell familiar spices in the air, as well as other perfumes form incense and smoke from outdoor barbecues. Soft melodic tones from hanging gongs echoed above the sounds of people and, somewhere in the distance, flute music played.

“You love the energy down here, don’t you?” I asked Cayde, noticing he was looking around, but also feeling the happiness within him. He was warm and tingly and just so content among the people.

He nodded. “One of the things I really loved before coming to the Tower was visiting small settlements I’d found around the world. More times than not, the people were so open and welcoming - made ya feel at home with them. At night, if they had the means, they’d play music and dance, tell stories … trynna push the worries and fears aside - to keep up the positive spirit. It always seemed like the poorest of people were the ones who celebrated the most and always opened their homes to you - were the best company and most willing to share cause they got what it felt like to have nothing out there. They knew how much it meant to have help.”

“When you first woke up a Guardian, is that what happened? You met and stayed with people in the Wilds?” 

“I never told you about that?” He asked, frowning.

I shook my head.

“Huh. Coulda sworn I had.” 

I rubbed his chest. Sometimes the way his memories still got mixed up worried me a little. 

“I’ll tell you about it once we get inside,” he said as we came up on the restaurant. Someone wearing staff attire was standing at a podium near the door taking names and reservations and smiled politely at us as we walked up to her. Cayde gave our names and the time he’d made the reservation for and she bowed slightly before a waiter came over and led us inside.

Inside the restaurant was absolutely lovely. It was decorated in an old world - likely pre-Golden Age - Japanese theme. The walls were dark wood and white paper, with hand painted designs and landscape tapestries that were hung around the space, telling old stories of the culture and depicting great warriors decorated in armor and lovely kimonos. The lighting was soft, like candle light, and the hallway leading into the main seating area was lined with planted bamboo, and an indoor stream with live koi fish, making it feel like you were walking outdoors in a beautiful Japanese garden. 

I looked around in awe. I’d never been in such a fancy place. Even Cayde was looking around with slightly wide eyes. “Boy am I glad I dressed up,” he muttered.

I snickered. “Didn’t expect it to be this fancy?”

He shook his head. “No. But I like it.”

“Me, too,” I nodded. He smiled at me and, as we entered the main part of the restaurant, we saw a bar where chefs were working, making sushi, and another where they were cooking up various dishes, performing tricks with the food and utensils for those sitting nearby, delighting their audience. One of the chefs towered some raw onion rings and drizzled something inside then set it on fire, making it look like a volcano, the flames bursting upward, awing the crowd as he flipped utensils and tossed other vegetables on the cooking surface. I noticed Cayde’s eyebrows went up when he saw that and I smiled. He was really enjoying himself and we hadn’t even been seated yet!

When we were led over to our booth, Cayde helped me take my jacket off and hung it up on a nearby hook then scooted into the booth with me. After being given menus, Cayde leaned back in the seat, setting his menu down on the table as he draped his arm over the back of the chair behind me and watched the chefs. “So, you were asking about when I woke up a Guardian?”

I nodded, leaning into his side, holding a menu. His arm eased off the back of the chair and went around my shoulders. “Well you know I totally ran off a cliff, right?”

I snorted, laughing, and nodded. He chuckled, too. “Well, first thing I did after that was - ” He was interrupted by a waiter coming over with a complimentary pot of tea then asked us what we wanted to drink. I ordered some plum saki and Cayde liked the sound of that, so he got some, too. Once we were alone again, he continued. “Um … Oh, well, first thing I did was try to figure where I was.”

“You knew what you were, though, right?” I asked. Cayde had spoken to me of some things from the beginning but not a lot. Most of his stories had been of his time with Andal and Shiro. I think he liked focusing on those times more than others because he wasn’t alone then.

He nodded. “Yeah. Some stuff came back to me. What I was was one, but the how and all that? No. Just knew what I was and my name. And a few other fuzzy things that gradually came back. But I’m pretty sure I told you those things.”

“Mmm hmm,” I nodded. “And, before you keep going and the waiter comes back, what do you want?” I asked, showing him the menu.

“You know what I want,” he said.

“Spicy Tonkotsu with pork?” I asked, smirking. “Or were you being fresh?” I added, my smirk becoming a grin.

He laughed. “I wasn’t, but now that you mention it …” he cooed in my ear, giving it a little nibble.

I giggled and gave him a playful shove. Okay, something had really gotten into him tonight and I certainly wasn’t complaining!

After our drinks arrived, we ordered, both of us getting the Tonkotsu, then we settled back and Cayde put his arm back around me and continued talking while we watched the chefs start a new show for a new group of people that came in.

“Now, where was I? Oh, wandering the Wilds,” Cayde said, trying the plum saki. “Ooh, that’s really good,” he uttered and drank a little more. “We’ll have to get a bottle of this. I’m getting distracted.” 

I smirked. 

“So,” Cayde said, “Sundance had just rezzed me for a second time, after fallin’ off the cliff. I didn’t know where I was. It was dark and rocky and barren with eerie moonlight. Like, totally one-a those old Westerns I like, where the cowboy’s stranded, left to die out in the desert with vultures circlin’. I even heard a wolf and his buddies howlin’ off in the distance probably thinkin’ I was a nice midnight snack and, Ghost or no, I was like: ‘Ha! Good luck, pals! I’m a robot!’. Anyway, Sundance seemed to know where to go and led me to this little settlement at the base of a mountain a few hours walk from where we were. Got there just as the sun was comin’ up and a few people were already out startin’ the day. They saw me and I guess I wasn’t the first Guardian or Exo they’d come across. Welcomed me in, offered me a place to stay and rest, even cooked me some food. And then- er …”

When he paused like that, I glanced up at him, then sat up a little, concerned. “What?”

He looked like he’d become a bit lost in the moment before shaking himself out of it. “Oh, I just, uh … remembered where that next part was goin’ and realized I can’t really talk about it in public. It’s not bad. Definitely not bad. Just … private.” He smiled a little, winking, then kissed my temple. “I’ll tell ya that part later,” he whispered in my ear and I smirked, nodding.

“So, what happened after that?” I asked, rubbing his chest.

“Well, this was a couple hundred years ago, right? So no Tower. No City. Back then we all just kinda … wandered. But I stayed with that settlement for a while. They were good people. They and Sundance, together, caught me up. Told me what happened as they learned through stories passed down; told me how the world was now and about the Fallen.”

“Were you scared?” I asked.

He frowned, quiet for a moment, then shook his head. “No. I was … angry. Maybe a little sad. I had the journal I woke up with. I’d read and re-read it quite a few times by then while I traveled out further and further from the settlement over the coming months, getting my bearings, figuring out the terrain and what was around me. Even helping fending off some Fallen that came into the area, trynna take whatever resources they could.” He was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "At times, things looked so beautiful. Like the world was starting over. Being reborn,” he softly murmured.

I glanced up, looking at his face, seeing his eyes look out among the people in the restaurant but not seeing them. I knew all he was seeing were the stunning landscapes he’d once told me about and had sketched in some of his journals and elsewhere over the years. 

“Even in the places that were the most broken, I could see what they once were and what they could be again,” he softly said, taking a little drink from his glass of saki. “One day, I was walking through this little part of what I think was once a small town - Maybe part of a city even before that. Doesn’t really matter. Anyway, there were all these blue flowers growing up through the cracks in the broken concrete and bricks, springing up around rusted pieces of iron fence and old pillars. They made the broken and worn look so pretty. And the sun was just starting to set behind me. The light was warm, and it cast an orange hue that made everything look like a vibrant painting. It was gorgeous. The most beautiful thing I’d seen since waking up. I sat there until it got dark, looking all around, and I remember, in that moment, thinkin’: One day, we could bring it all back. Even better than before. We just needed a little help doin’ it.” He looked at me. “That was the moment I decided I was gonna do the helpin’.”

I smiled. He’d told me before that he knew his purpose here was to do good and, if he could help people then that was what he was going to do. But he’d never told me of the exact moment he’d made that decision. I slipped my arms around him and gently hugged him, resting my head on his shoulder. “That’s a wonderful story, sweetheart,” I softly said. 

He tightened his arm around me in a return hug and sipped more of the plumb saki. 

“You know, I’d love to go there sometime,” I quietly said. “Where you first woke a Guardian.”

“You would?” He asked, sounding a little surprised. 

I nodded. “Is it far from here?”

“On foot, yeah. But to hop in the ship, we’d be there in just a couple minutes. I’ve never told you exactly where I woke up?” 

I shook my head. “You’ve told me about the landscapes. About the mountains and snow … the open valleys. Stuff like that. But you never said where it was.”

He nodded. “Old Tibet.”

I blinked. “Tibet?” What would Cayde have been doing in Tibet before he’d died?

I felt him quietly laugh. “You’re wondering what I might have been doing there, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I don’t know why, but I wouldn’t have guessed there.”

He nodded. “I wondered for a long time why I was there, too. After the City was built and we had the technology here - started collectin’ stuff on the past and gettin’ things goin’ - I looked into clues I’d left myself. I think I was there guarding Sundaresh. Can't be sure, but stuff I looked up on her talked about some research she’d been working on in Lhasa. It didn’t say what, just that the last records of her were from there. I also found an old Bray facility there. It’s all gone for the most part. Couldn’t find anything more than rubble and some old insignias. So I know they were there. And knowing they were there, she was there, and I woke up there? That was my guess.”

I nodded, now piecing together more things some of his old selves had written about and things he’d told me about. Cayde had a very long and complex history he’d gradually been piecing together over the years. I was pretty sure having me to talk about it with helped a lot - helped him organize it and make sense of some of it. I knew he shared a few things with Ikora. Not much, but some. Zavala, though, no. He’d flat out told me that was a non-starter. And it was only for the fact he knew Zavala didn’t think it was a Guardian’s place to question the past or look into it. You were a Guardian. You had your purpose. Who you were was irrelevant. But Cayde thought the opposite. He believed if you wanted to know who you were then you should find what you could if it brought you some peace. There was no guaranteeing what you found would be something good or not, but that was the risk if you chose to look. As an Exo, though, with dreams and flashes of memory … when you were haunted the way Cayde and other Exo’s were … well … it was just one of those things he agreed to disagree with Zavala on. 

Of course, Cayde and I, as well as Ikora, we all knew Zavala knew Cayde was looking and nothing Zavala said would stop that. So it was one of those open disapprovals that nothing was done about. Mostly because, I think, Zavala knew there would be no stopping Cayde. And I was glad it didn’t interfere with their friendship. I knew it was important to both of them. Especially now.

“You okay? You went quiet,” Cayde said.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking how this put more of your story together for me.” I looked at him, smiling a little. 

He smiled back. “You don’t really like to push me on that stuff, do you?”

I shook my head. “I know you’re a private person. I figured, if you wanted to tell me things, you would.”

“You can ask me anything you want, baby. I have nothing to hide form you. And I don’t mind you being the one pushing me. The only time I don’t like being pushed is if it’s a subject that’s just too hard for me. And you’ve always clued into that and never pushed when you knew I couldn’t handle it.” He kissed my forehead and I closed my eyes, humbled. I knew he trusted me, but to know it was so completely with things he kept closest to him … it was just really special.

 

After dinner, Cayde told me he had something he wanted to show me. When I asked him what it was, he shook his head and told me it was a surprise, then led me back to toward the Tower. 

“You trust me?” He asked, pulling a red sash out from his lapel pocket.

I nodded. “Of course I do,” I said, watching as he folded it lengthwise.

He smiled and stepped around behind me. “Close your eyes,” he whispered.

I did and felt him settle the sash over my eyes and gently tie it around my head before his fingers slowly trailed down over the back of my neck and shoulders. I sighed, leaning back into him and he put his arms around me, hugging me. I smiled, hugging his arms right back. “What’s gotten into you tonight?” I murmured.

He lowly chuckled in my ear. “You’ll see,” he whispered, then stepped beside me and scooped me up in his arms, startling me. 

“Cayde!” 

He laughed. “Don’t worry. I gotchya.”

I put my arm around the back of his neck. “Seriously, what’s gotten into you?” I asked, laughing a little in surprise. He chuckled in reply but, otherwise, didn’t say anything.

It took a while to get where we were going. Sometimes I could tell we were walking up stairs or down a long hall, other times I knew we were in an elevator. I couldn’t tell where we were exactly though, except somewhere, I was pretty sure, was in the wall. Whenever I tried to ask Cayde anything, though, he’d just shush me with a kiss or a little nuzzle. Eventually, I kept trying to speak just to get kisses, which I could tell he’d figured out and started enjoying my little game as much as I was! 

After a few more minutes of walking, I felt cool night air on my face, wind softly blowing, and felt Cayde shift, gently setting me down on my feet. “Okay, don’t move,” he said and I heard him step back behind me and settle his hands on my shoulders, leaning into me, his mouth right next to my left ear. “Now,” he whispered, and his arms went around me once again, holding me back against his chest. “Five years ago, a freshly risen Titan found her way to the Tower and into the Hall of the Guardians where, looking over his maps, completely clueless - and likely cocky but handsome as hell - a certain Hunter Vanguard was standing.”

I grinned and hugged his arms before he continued.

“He’d gotten so used to new Guardians coming in that, at first, he didn’t look up. I mean, she wasn’t a new Hunter, he knew that, so she wouldn’t be comin’ over to see him. But … when she walked past him to talk to Zavala, somethin’ about her made him look up - sent a shiver down his spine and made his breath catch in his throat. And that - that was a helluva thing to do considering he was an Exo who didn’t even need to breathe.”

I grinned again, pretty sure he was embellishing the story. Cayde had a way of doing that. But I was flattered by it, nonetheless. “So, what happened after that?” I whispered, caressing his arms, tilting my head back and into his. He hugged me a little tighter and kissed my cheek. 

“Four years went by,” he murmured, “and he watched this fledgling Guardian from afar - watched her do things he hadn’t seen in a long, long time. Watched her go up against foes even veteran Guardians couldn’t face. And he played it cool. But … deep down … he was impressed. He admired her.” I hugged his arms a bit tighter, smiling. “And then … then, after all of it, something else came along … stole his and every other Guardian’s Light. And he went and got himself into trouble. So, who should come along and save him but her,” he softly chuckled. “Then …” he went a little quieter, a little more serious. “That was when he started realizing, maybe he more than admired her. And he started letting her get close. Closer than he ever let anyone before. And it felt _so_ good,” he murmured. “Felt so good to not hold everything in. To have someone he felt safe sharing it all with who he knew he could trust - knew would never hurt him. And, when he got into trouble again … there she was. And she did the impossible. She'd held onto his Light. Kept it safe until she brought him back. Then held onto him and kept him safe, too.”

He gently eased his arms from around me and I felt his hands at the back of my head, undoing the sash. As it fell away from my eyes, I blinked them, adjusting to the light around us. It was soft, warm light and I quickly realized it was coming from a dozen or so lanterns hung all around above us. They lit the area and, as my eyes finally fully adjusted, I realized where Cayde had brought me. We were standing on the edge of what had been the Hall of Guardians in the old Tower. A few steps in front of me dropped off to nothing, the space still wide open from where it had been completely destroyed. But, instead of it looking like a tattered and torn piece of the building, Cayde had, somehow, decorated it with the lanterns, having them hung from the broken beams above as well as, what I just noticed, were several candles placed in little glasses and set about the uneven and broken floor and ramps around us. The whole space had been blown to hell when the Cabal attacked, but, right now, it was just like Cayde’s story of the rubble he’d walked through when first waking a Guardian. There was beauty within the destruction.

I turned and looked at him, completely surprised and he smiled at me. “I wanted to bring you back where we first met,” he quietly said, then twisted a little and held out his arm, showing me a little space nearby covered in a plush blanket and pillows with a bucket of ice next to it and a bottle of champaign chilling inside.

I looked at it and shook my head, practically speechless. “Cayde …” I moved to go over to it, but he gently stopped me. 

“Hang on. Um …”

I could suddenly sense this immense amount of nervousness from him and frowned. “What is it?” I asked, setting my hand on his arm.

“Uh … Okay … heh … I, uh … I had this all planned earlier, now I’ve gone and completely forgotten what I was gonna say here,” he chuckled again, rubbing at the back of his neck. I could see his hand was trembling.

“Cayde, what’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.

“Oh, nothin’,” he shook his head. “Nothin’s wrong. I promise, um … Okay, so … earlier today, you saw my belt and shoulder piece to my armor were gone, right?”

I nodded. 

“Well, uh … there wasn’t anything actually wrong with them like I’d said. I-I brought them into the City cause I … was havin’ somethin’ made. Something special.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black leather pouch and opened it. When he reached inside, he pulled out a brown leather bracelet that was dyed teal so the two colors blended together. It looked like it was a few thin strips of a couple bracelets put together but it was actually one single bracelet, carefully cut and weaved to look like more than one and joined closed with by a solid brass pin. He put the bag back in his pocket and held the bracelet up so I could see it better, his hands still shaking a little. “You know, that leather Hunter armor you’ve always known me to wear has been with me nearly two-hundred years. It’s just as special to me as Andals’ cloak. Like a second skin, really.” He smiled a little as he ran a finger over the bracelet. “The leather came from my belt,” he said. “And the brass closure, that was cut from the brass piece that goes around my shoulder. This is as close to an actual piece of myself as ya can get.” He looked at me and swallowed and I just gaped, not knowing what to say. All I could do was stare at him and the bracelet and feel the swelling nervousness coming from him. “You’re a Titan. You punch things. A lot.” He smirked. “So … I-I knew when - when I was gonna do this … well, um … heh … Gettin’ you a ring wasn’t gonna be the best idea.”

If it wasn’t when I heard the word ‘ring’ that I stopped breathing, it was when I saw him getting down on one knee. Everything suddenly felt so surreal and time seemed to stop. All I could do was stare into his eyes, transfixed. 

“Ais … I tried to find the best words I could to tell ya what you mean to me. What you’ve meant to me since the first time I saw you. But, truth is, there will never be words that could ever convey that. And I ain’t good with words anyway. This bond we have, though … I know you can feel just how much I love you. That you mean more to me than anything.” I saw his eyes tearing up a bit and the shaking was getting worse but I couldn’t move and I didn’t want to interrupt him. “You’re my Queen, Ais,” he managed, his voice breaking a little. “I never … never thought you’d be real. But here you are. Not just my Queen but my best friend and my hero - who’s saved me so many times and in more ways than one.” A tear finally escaped the corner of his eye and trailed down the crease of the teal plate of his cheek. “So I, uh … I was wonderin’ if you’d make this bond of ours official … Will ya marry me, Ais?”

I don’t remember getting on my knees in front of him, I just remember pulling him into my arms, hugging him as close to me as I could before kissing his lips and caressing his face, easing away the tears. “Yes,” I smiled and nodded. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Cayde.” I couldn’t even begin to describe the immense feeling of love and happiness washing over me in that moment.

He was shaking even more now, but I think it was more from the release of tension than the nervousness he’d had. He laughed and hugged me tight, and I laughed with him, finding myself crying, too. He softly kissed the tears away then gently took my wrist and eased the corsage off. He placed several more soft little kisses all over the underside of my wrist then nuzzled it lovingly before wrapping the bracelet around it and securing it with the clasp.

I looked at it then covered it with my hand, feeling the familiar smoothness of the leather before caressing it with my fingers and taking in the sensation of it being there. I couldn’t believe this was an actual piece of his armor, but it was far more beautiful and precious to me than any ring could ever be. In that moment, I vowed I’d never take it off. 

When I looked at Cayde again, I saw he had more tears running down his cheeks but was smiling. I felt tears on my own face but ignored them as I pulled him back into my arms and held him. “I love you, my Little Firefly,” I whispered. “So much.”

“I love you, too,” he whispered back, holding on tight.

“How the hell did you manage to keep this from me?” I asked, realizing I hadn’t sensed a damn thing from him that one would expect would give away he’d been up to something.

He chuckled and eased back, giving me another kiss. “Hunter, baby. We’re clever and sneaky.”

I laughed again and he got to his feet, offering me his hands then tugged me back to the blanket and pillows he’d set up, helping me sit before he sat down on his knees and opened the bottle of champaign. “Wait,” I said, and he paused and looked at me. “You’ve been home and then we went to dinner. That ice would be melted by now. How …?”

He practically grinned. “Holliday.”

“She knew you were going to propose?” I asked, surprised.

“Oh, no,no,” he shook his head. “No one knows. I just told her I wanted a romantic night with you and wanted to surprise you so …” he popped the cork on the champaign and quickly poured me a glass before too much bubbled over, handing it to me before pouring his own and looking around. “She did an amazing job,” he said, settling down beside me.

“She did,” I nodded. “It’s beautiful, Cayde.”

He looked at me. “I tried to make it special,” he softly said, shrugging. 

“Special doesn’t even begin to cover it,” I murmured and leaned over, kissing him. 

He was going to get a lot of kisses tonight.

He smiled then clinked his glass with mine. 

We sipped our champaign then I set my glass aside and snuggled up to him as we both relaxed back into the pillows. After a few moments, I started laughing.

“What?” He asked, sounding amused by my laugh. 

I shook my head. “Never in a million years did I ever imagine I’d be someone’s wife.”

He practically choked on the champaign. “You?! What about me?! I mean, come on! This is me we’re talkin’ about!”

“Okay, you got a point,” I nodded. “I never imagined you someones wife, either.”

He slowly looked at me and arched an eyebrow as he set his glass down.

“Don’t you dare,” I told him, easing away, holding up a hand as I tried not to laugh. “Cayde …”

It didn’t do any good. He pounced, kissing and tickling me mercilessly! I laughed and shrieked so loud, I was sure they heard me all the way down in the City! I finally got the upper hand when I got him back in the armpits. He yelped and tried to curl up but I tackled him, getting him on his back, straddling his hips my fingers wiggling under his arms!

“Stop! I give! I’m gonna pee!” squeaked, kicking his legs!

I laughed and stopped. “Can dish it out but can’t take it, can ya, Mr. Hunter?”

He grabbed me up in his arms. “You just have the advantage of knowing my soft spots,” he told me.

“Mmm. I have the advantage of knowing your hard spots, too,” I purred and kissed his lips, rocking down into him. He made a little gasp and blinked up at me, looking almost surprised. I smiled at that sweet, slightly innocent look he was still capable of before he kissed me again, this time a bit more forceful, moaning softly. 

I practically melted at that moan, returning the kiss, even deepening it.

Somehow, we eventually found ourselves with our jackets off - tossed aside - and Cayde’s shirt unbuttoned half way down his chest. He was sitting on his knees, leaning back, holding himself up with his arms and softly panting as I kissed and licked at his heaving chest, breathing in his warm scent, my hand caressing and fondling the growing bulge in his pants. I grinned as I glanced up at him, seeing his head tilted back, eyes closed, lips parted, little flashes of orange light coming from his mouth each time he moaned. 

He was sexy as hell!

He was even more sexy when I unzipped his pants and slid my hand inside. He lifted his head and looked at me as I eased him out and started stroking him slowly. I slipped my arm around his middle and held him close, looking into his eyes. They were huge and their light had deepened the more excited he got. His hot breath ghosted over my face in short quick pants before I kissed him again, feeling him tremble with need. I eventually felt him grab my wrist, stilling my hand and shaking his head. “I-I won’t last m-much longer if y-you keep going like that,” he barely managed.

“Tell me what you want,” I purred in his ear. “Tell me what you need,” I breathed. He shivered again then looked at me, his tongue actually coming out, licking at his bottom lip before he spoke. 

“Turn around,” he said, sounding a bit breathless.

I arched an eyebrow at him, but turned and, as soon as I did, I felt his hands at my thighs, slowly sliding upward, gently tugging my dress up as he kissed my shoulder. “Mmm. You’re not wearing any underwear,” he huskily murmured, feeling his hands against my skin, caressing my now bare hips. I smiled, shaking my head. “Is that because you didn’t want to leave lines showing or were you just planning ahead?” He asked, sounding amused.

I grinned, actually not surprised he knew about underwear leaving lines showing in a form-fitting dress. I was sure those novels he read had mentioned that at least once! “Maybe a little of both?” I finally offered and he lowly chuckled then coaxed me back into his lap. I felt him teasing my entrance and I slowly sank down onto him, his hands tightening at my hips as he hissed, pressing his face into the back of my shoulder, trying to hold himself back. 

When I was settled, I didn’t move, I just draped myself backwards, laying my head on his shoulder as I reached back, curling my arm around his head, lovingly holding it in my hand. He looked at me then kissed my lips and held me as we both savored the moment and the warm loving tingle of emotion we were sharing before I felt his hand sliding down my front. “Will you show me how to do this just right?” He whispered as his fingertips very gently brushed over my clit. I gasped, tightening around him. I laid my hand on top of his and curled my fingers over his long slim ones, showing him the right way to move and with just the right amount of pressure. “Just like that?” He whispered, kissing the side of my neck as he made a slow, teasing circular motion. I nodded, shuddering needfully as I couldn’t help starting to rock my hips.

He felt so good and his fingers … Traveler help me, the way he was moving them, I wasn’t going to last long!

He groaned and I felt him push up under me, lifting me a little. “Ais …” he breathed, pressing his face into the crux of my neck. I grabbed onto the arm he had around my middle, practically fisting the material of his shirt as I felt his hot breath against my skin. I held him tight and kept my hand over his other, instructing him in the rhythm, the idea of helping him - of us doing this together - the hottest thing ever! He panted harder, lifting his head, groaning in my ear, gradually rolling his hips up into me more forcefully and faster as both of our needs grew, urging us on. 

His pants changed to soft growls and his hips moved faster, practically bouncing me! I started writhing, gasping and whimpering his name as I got closer, feeling him doing the same. The bond didn’t allow us to feel each other physically, but we could feel each other emotionally and nearing an orgasm on your own was intense enough, but to share it with someone else - to actually feel it …

Cayde and I cried out together, Cayde practically standing up on his knees as he rode out his orgasm with me, trembling and holding onto me tight as I throbbed all around him. We fell forward and I braced us both on my hands and knees, Cayde draped over my back, heaving as he tried to catch his breath while I did the same.

 

Eventually, we got our wits back about us and, once we separated and got ourselves straightened out, we finished off the champaign we had in our glasses before Cayde laid back into the pillows and lifted his arm so I could lay against his side. We were both still panting a little, even as I pulled the blanket around us. “Wow,” Cayde breathed, wrapping his arm around me. 

I nodded. “Wow,” I agreed, rubbing his chest, looking up at his face. He smiled at me and lifted my hand off his chest, bringing it to his lips, the bracelet he’d given me sliding down a little. He tenderly kissed the underside of my wrist then nuzzled it before I eased it out of his grasp and softly caressed his cheek. He looked at me, his eyes soft and full of love. I shifted up his side and kissed his lips, moaning against them before I grabbed the open front of his shirt and rolled us over, hearing him chuckle as I pulled him down on top of me.

Round two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, was that sweeter then you all could have imagined? Bet you all weren't expecting that, huh? Hehehe! Cayde's a sneaky, sentimental one! More to come! <3 .


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! NEW CHAPTER! FINALLY! LOL! 
> 
> So, so sorry this took so long. It's been a crazy week and a half and I had to do some lore research to make sure where I wanted to go with coming chapters would work. This chapter, itself, though, didn't require much research, aside form just looking over concept art of the City to get a proper feel for it in my head. What did force it to take so long is the content. I wanted to do it right and make it feel genuine as well as set up a place in the City that I think would really exist, given the times. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all like it. I know it's going to hit you in the feels but, hopefully, I did the moment justice.
> 
> ~Ais

We ended up going back home around two in the morning, showering, and snuggling up together under the blankets, both of us sleeping peacefully for the first time in days.

When I woke up, the sun was shining in the window and I could hear the soft, muffled sounds of the busy Bazaar below. I felt a warm weight against my back, followed by soft, soothing purr-snoring. Cayde was still sound asleep, half draped over me, and I smiled as I closed my eyes and rolled over, cuddling up against his chest. He grunted and I felt his free arm close tighter around me. I could still smell the light minty scent of the Exo polish lingering on his face and I breathed him in, tenderly kissing along his jaw. He moaned a little. “Ais?”

“Well, I’d hope so. Who else would be kissing you awake?” I murmured, grinning as I tucked my head under his chin. I felt him rearrange his arms around me, rolling onto his back, pulling me partially on top of him. “Well, there was that one time with Zavala.”

I lifted my head and blinked at him. “What?” I asked, intrigued.

He chuckled, wickedly and winked. 

“Oh, you ass,” I mumbled, slapping his shoulder before settling back down.

“Can you imagine, though?” Cayde giggled.

“I’d be more willing to believe you were the one laying on his chest kissing him awake. If only to annoy a Titan trying to get some much needed sleep,” I said, grinning as I gazed up at him.

“You know me so well, it scares me sometimes,” Cayde playfully replied, gently pulling me up his body and hugging me close. “Course, he’da killed me.” 

“Oh, definitely,” I nodded, then smiled, stroking his cheeks before I kissed him. “But, you’re totally a natural-born instigator. It’s not a big stretch,” I teased.

He laughed. “Yeah, but you love that about me!”

I dramatically sighed, resting my chin on the heel of my hand. “Yeah, I suppose.” I grinned.

He laughed again. 

“You’re in a very good mood,” I smiled.

“Of course! I slept good - for once in days - and I got to wake up to my Light’s kisses,” he added, his tone softening.

I tenderly stared at him, not really knowing what to say in that moment. There was just something about the way he’d said that that choked me up a little.

“You okay?” He asked, stroking my cheek. 

I nodded. “More than,” I assured. “Just hearing you say that …” I cleared my throat. “It was just really special.”

“ _You’re_ really special,” he said, then hugged me. 

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you, too.”

 

After a few more kisses and cuddles and totally mushy whispers of sweet-nothings followed by giggles, we both got up and got ready for the day. I’d decided to take a shower and, when I came out of the bedroom, I heard some slow, electric guitar music playing, accompanied by the soft beat of drums and symbols. Following that, I could hear Cayde in the kitchen and smell pancakes cooking. 

As I peered around the corner, I saw him standing at the stove, dressed in his usual brown ranger pants and loose-knitted cream sweater, his back to me, swaying to the beat of the music. His left hand was idly resting on the counter, fingers tapping to the drumbeats while holding the spatula in his right hand, carefully checking on the pancakes before flipping them. I smiled, silently watching him, feeling something well up inside me. It was … so overwhelmingly wonderful to see him standing there. With all that had happened in the last few days, the bad and the so very good, and all the feelings in between … It was like it suddenly hit me he really was okay. He was alive and here. He’d always be here. Home. With me. I wrapped my hand around the bracelet on my left wrist and leaned into the wall, slowly sinking down to the floor as my vision blurred, overcome with happiness but, most of all, relief. The worst was over and he was okay.

I heard a quick clatter against the stovetop and hurried footsteps, then, suddenly, Cayde was right there in front of me, crouched down with me on the floor, hands on my arms, holding me steady. “Ais? Baby?” He uttered, obviously concerned. I looked at him then grabbed him up in my arms and held him as tight as I could. “Are-are you alright?” He hesitantly asked, putting his arms around me. I knew he could sense I was, but I was pretty sure my reaction was throwing him off, so I nodded. 

“Just let me hold you for a minute,” I whispered, resting my hand on the back of his head as I tilted mine into the side of his. I felt him nod and hold me tighter as I let out a shaky breath, turning my face into the side of his neck, breathing him in and letting out another long, shaky sigh.

“What happened?” He whispered after a couple minutes, rubbing my back.

“It suddenly just hit me that you’re okay. That you’re here and safe. That everything that happened … you’re okay,” I managed, feeling so overwhelmed by it all, I almost felt sick. It was so strange. I was overjoyed. It wasn’t a bad feeling. But it was so strong it was almost too much to take at once. “It’s like all my muscles have been tensed up for days, on edge, and now I can relax ‘cause it doesn’t feel like a dream anymore.”

He hugged me a bit tighter and I felt him nod before leaning back, lifting his hands to my face and gently brushing my hair away from my cheeks, caressing them. I looked into his eyes, seeing those brilliant blue optics of his tear up a little, and I could feel how relieved and happy he was. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just …” I shook my head.

He nodded, smiling. “I know,” he whispered. “Just be glad I didn’t burn the pancakes,” he joked.

I laughed. “Sorry.”

He shook his head and stood, helping me to my feet, giving me a kiss. “Sure you’re okay?” 

I nodded, taking one more deep breath. “Yeah, I’m okay. I …”

“Didn’t expect that?” He finished.

“Yeah.”

He nodded. “I know what you mean.”

I hugged him one more time. “I hope I didn’t mess up breakfast.”

He lightly chuckled, petting the back of my head. “Don’t worry. Even if those pancakes got messed up, I already had plenty made and I’ve got more batter.”

I smirked. Sometimes it was beyond strange hearing him say things like that. It was oddly … domesticated for him which fit so well because of his caring personality, but also … didn’t because he was a Hunter. Hardly someone you’d think of as domesticated in any respect. Other times, it was wonderfully comforting. Like a normal that shouldn’t exist right now, especially with Guardians, yet here it was and nothing could be more perfect. 

It turned out the couple pancakes that had been on the stove weren’t fully cooked, so Cayde tossed them and made a couple more, then we sat down out on the balcony and enjoyed a leisurely breakfast while listening to the guitar music and watching the people down below. I’d wished it was a little warmer, but it was comfortable with a sweater. “You warm enough?” I asked Cayde as I ate.

He nodded. “Yeah. It’s cool but not a biting cold. And definitely not like the Ascendant Realm.” He shuddered at the thought.

I smirked.

“Hey, um … I had something I wanted to ask you but I’m not sure how you’ll take it,” Cayde said, stirring a piece of pancake around in the syrup on his plate.

“Just ask me,” I gently said, smiling, giving a little shrug.

“Well, you know there’s a new section of wall almost totally renovated and set up for housing just beyond the Bazaar here, right?”

I smirked a little and nodded, resting my chin on the heel of my hand. I had a feeling I knew where he was going with this.

“Y-you’re smiling. You know what I’m gonna ask, don’t you?”

My smirk became a grin. “I think so, but go ahead,” I told him, nodding.

He smiled back. “Well, there was a really nice lookin’ place, almost done, that’s open, lots of windows, really nice kitchen and good sized bedroom. Has a bigger balcony that overlooks the City, but, y’know, we’re up high enough, it’s quiet. We wouldn’t wake up to quite as much noise of the people down here. I was thinkin’ it might be a nice place to start somethin’ new. And this place is great, but small. More suited to a newer or single Guardian. So ... yeah, I just thought, maybe …” He shrugged.

“When did you go see this place?” I asked.

“Yesterday. When I was on my way down to the City. I saw the workers there near the elevators and stopped to chat. They told me how things were goin’. Once they get done on this side they’ll be headin’ over to the Old Tower side to start puttin’ finishing touches on the areas that have been fixed up. Anyway, chattin’ led to lookin’ around and … I went in and saw one of the apartments. And, with what I had planned for last night … Maybe I was jumpin’ the gun, but I got excited and,” he bowed his head a little shy. “Just got ta thinkin’ is all.”

I reached across the table and pet his hand, then held it. “I’d love to see it.”

“Yeah?” He asked, lifting his head. “It’s not … too soon?”

“Course not. I think it’d be nice to do this with you.”

He practically beamed. I could feel the joy and excitement bubbling through him and it made me so happy. He needed this. He needed something new. Something that signified the closing of one chapter in his life and the start of a new one together.

“How did I get so lucky to find someone as understanding and wonderful as you?” He murmured.

“I was wondering the same thing about you," I smiled.

He stood, leaning over the table, and softly kissed my lips. I smirked when I felt the stickiness. “You have syrup everywhere,” I lightly chuckled, tasting it on my lips as I licked them.

“I do?” He asked, his tongue snaking out, licking at his bottom lip. “Oh, I do,” he said, eyebrows rising.

I snickered. “You couldn’t feel it there?”

He shook his head, wiping at his mouth with a napkin as he sat back down. “There are some things that are just too light on the metal. Whatever this body has for sensors just doesn’t register it there.”

“Well, bonus for me, sweetlips,” I smiled. 

He chuckled, setting the napkin down then went quiet for a few moments, eating a bite of his pancakes before speaking again. “I, uh … I also … uuuh … On a more serious note … um …” I felt his mood suddenly shift, becoming more somber. I put my hand back out on the table toward him, palm up. He looked down at it and took it, lifting it to his face, kissing the backs of my fingers. I curled them around his and patiently waited for him to get his thoughts in order, feeling him settle a little once he had my hand to hold. 

After making a throat - clearing sound, Cayde sighed. “I, uh … was wondering if you’d go with me back into the City today? There’s a place … um … they specialize in … little memorial boxes … for Ghosts. I … I didn’t want to go alone,” he quietly said, glancing down at the table.

I gave his hand a squeeze. “Of course I’ll go with you,” I gently said, then stood and, still holding his hand, moved around the table and hugged him. 

He scooted his chair back and eased me down into his lap and hugged me back, resting his face against my chest, ever careful his horn was over my shoulder so he didn’t stab me with it. I caressed the back of his head and kissed the top of it, putting my arms around his shoulders. He sighed then looked up at me, smiling a little. “Thanks. I was gonna go yesterday but … I … couldn’t and I didn’t want you to worry if you felt anything. I wanted yesterday to be a happy day. But I do want to get it done. Not just for her but so Ghost doesn’t have to keep holdin’ onto her. I can’t imagine it’s easy on him, even if he hasn’t said anything.”

I gave a little nod and softly caressed the back of his head again. “We’ll get something really special for her. All three of us.”

He managed another little smile then hugged me one more time and let me get back up so I could finish my breakfast, softly kissing my wrist as I made to move back around the table. 

 

“I have a question for you,” I quietly said to Cayde as we walked together weaving in and around the crowds of people out and about downtown. His hands were in his pockets, my arms wrapped around his right, and he was sort of hunched over, having switched into his gray sweater, the hood pulled up over his head so no one would recognize him. He glanced over at me when I spoke, his right eyebrow lifting a little in acknowledgement. “I’m gathering, by the way you’re dressed and acting, you don’t want people to recognize you or know what happened? You don’t want to make it news?”

He gave a little nod. “It’ll get known eventually. Pretty sure,” he shrugged. “But I don’t wanna make any grand announcement or anything. One-a two things always happens in times like these - people feel bad and avoid ya cause they don’t know what to say, or they treat ya like glass. Neither I can handle. I got you. You know when I need ya and you know when I need space. Others’ll mean well, but …” He shook his head. “Right now, those who know cause-a how things went down, that’s fine. I know none of ‘em are gonna say anything and they get me - get how I handle things. Even Bray. Which -” he sighed. “I need to go talk to her. But, point is, those who know, know. Can’t be helped. I don’t wanna say anything, don’t wanna make any announcements, don’t wanna make a big deal out’ve it. Okay?”

I nodded and could sense he’d relaxed some but I could also feel he was a bit anxious as well as holding back some dread of having to do this. Doing it made it more real. More official Sundance was gone. And I knew it was going to hit him again at some point. I wished, more than anything, I could take this pain away for him somehow but I knew the only real thing I could do I was already doing.

“You, uh, you never done this before, right?” Cayde asked. “Clearly not for yourself,” he corrected, “but you never done this for or with anyone before?”

I shook my head. “I’ve known of Guardians who’ve lost their Ghosts. But no one I ever personally knew. So, no,” I gently said. I knew he’d known people, Lush being the primary one, but that was a long, long time ago. I was pretty sure, in more recent times, especially with the Red War, there were others Cayde had known and helped.

He gave a little nod. “‘Kay. So, um … when we go in, it’ll be quiet, polite. No one imposes, they just ask if they can help and otherwise let ya just … um … look around.” He sighed. I slipped my arm around his waist and kissed his shoulder through the sweater, feeling him lean into me a bit more. “The place is discrete. It’s run by regular folks. They’ll only ask names if you … um … get something and need a name engraved. But they get that Guardians don’t want it known when, uh … when they lose their Ghost.”

I nodded. “Do you need to sit down for a minute before we keep going?” I asked. There were any number of benches around to sit on if needed.

He shook his head. “No. No, thanks, I, uh … I just wanna go get it done.” I nodded and he glanced over at me. “Thanks, Light,” he affectionately whispered, tilting his head against mine. I softly kissed just beside his horn as I gave his waist a squeeze.

 

It was a surreal feeling - one I wasn’t sure was my own or coming from Cayde - as we entered the parlor, located on a side street in a more quiet district of the City. Thankfully, this area hadn’t been hit in the Red War. It was an older part of the City, but well kept, with gardens and trees that flowered in the spring, making it more like a park surrounding the buildings, giving a welcome escape from the bustle of the City surrounding it. It was peaceful and, all things considered, the perfect spot for a place that specialized in helping Guardians at a difficult time.

Once we were inside, Ghost appeared, hovering between us. Near the back of the room, a lovely-looking older woman, draped in soft floral dress-robes and wearing her salt and pepper hair up in a loose bun gave a polite bow and came over to us, her features warm and kind. “May I help you?” She quietly asked. 

I glanced at Cayde who gave a little shake of his head. “Just looking right now. But thank you,” he politely replied and she nodded. 

“Take all the time you need. If there’s anything I can help you with, I’ll be right over here,” he gently said, gesturing to a counter. “Please help yourself to some tea if you’d like,” she also offered, motioning to a plush, deep purple velvet sofa that sat in the corner, a small table in front of it with a cast iron teapot settled atop a warmer and small matching cups set out around it. 

“Thank you,” I quietly said with a polite nod and smile. I looked around the space as she moved away from us, noticing lanterns draped above us and candles lit and set around, giving the space a softer, more comforting ambiance. Along the walls, in lit glass cases, were numerous styles and sizes of memorial boxes and urns, ranging from simple and wooden, to lavish and stone, some even metal or more precious materials, done in silver or gold. Ghost looked at them, his back end slowly twitching, the corners of his shell turned down a bit, indicating a silent sorrow but, I also think an amount of appreciation that Ghosts were cared for and remembered just as their Guardians. I was pretty sure it hadn’t been at all like this in the early days and I knew Ghost had been around a very long time looking for me. So, even though this was a sad occasion, I think this touched him in a way.

As we looked around, I didn’t say anything, I just stayed quiet, holding onto Cayde’s arm as we slowly moved around the space, letting him look over each piece. He’d know which one to choose if it was here.

We didn’t look for very long before I noticed Cayde’s eyes settle on one particular box. It was a square marble box that was simple, mostly a transparent cream-white with more solid white tendrils swirling through, and a few veins of burnt orange, most likely created from iron that had mingled into the stone over time. There was also slight shimmers of gold flecks within the burnt orange that sparkled from the light as you looked at the box from different angles. “That one,” he quietly said with a single nod towed it.

I didn’t have to ask if he was sure or not. I knew he was, and motioned to the woman that we’d made a selection. She came over and removed it from he case, allowing us to look it over. I watched as Cayde’s eyes softened while he looked at it, running his fingertips over the orange veins. They were Sundance’s colors. The white, the orange, and the gold. It was more than just an urn for her to Cayde. It was a symbol of her as well. He gave another nod and the woman closed the case and took the box into the back while we went over to the sofa, sitting. 

“It’s perfect, Cayde,” Ghost quietly said as he comfortingly settled on Cayde’s shoulder. 

Cayde lifted his hand up and gently pet Ghost as I poured some tea and handed him the earless cup. Despite his face and posture remaining calm and casual, I saw his hands had a very faint tremble to them. He sipped the tea and I noticed he wasn’t even breathing. He’d stopped, for whatever reason. I frowned a little and put my arm around his lower back as we waited for the woman to come back out.

When she did, she was carrying a small transparent tablet, the screen lit with a form to fill out. As she sat in a nearby chair, she gave another polite bow. “I’m so very sorry for your loss,” she quietly said and I offered her a bit of a smile in thanks. Cayde didn’t say anything, he just stared at his cup. I was starting to feel an anxiousness within him. Like he just wanted to be done now and go before he couldn’t hold anything in anymore. I rubbed his back. 

The woman was very polite, gentle, and patient as she asked the questions needed for the form, taking down Cayde’s information and how to contact him when the box would be ready, which would be in a day or two. The last thing needed was what Cayde wanted for an inscription and on what, starting with the name. “Sundance,” he told her and chose a gold plate for the engraving, asking that it be placed on the side with the least amount of orange, not wanting to hide the color within the marble.

The woman nodded and made note of that on the tablet. “Is there anything you’d like placed under the name?” She then asked. 

“See ya starside, Little Buddy,” Cayde uttered, his voice breaking a little at the end. He sipped a little more tea, then set the cup down and folded his arms against himself as I lifted my arm around his shoulders, holding him closer. I noticed the woman watching him with genuine sympathy even as Ghost tilted his body to cuddle closer into him. How many Guardians had come in here before us, each one wrestling with a unique pain and one that, even though she wasn’t a Guardian, I could see she understood. Her compassion in her gestures, the tone of her voice, and just the air about her, told me she not only sympathized with Cayde but also held a certain amount of empathy, too.

 

When everything was filled out, Cayde was given the tablet to look everything over. He nodded, satisfied, then placed his thumb in the middle of the square outline at the bottom right, signaling a signing of the contract, and gave it back to her. I was going to offer to pay for it, myself, so Cayde didn’t have to worry about that, but I knew that would come off, well, not insulting, but along those lines. This was painful but I knew not only choosing the urn but paying for it was something he felt he and he alone should do. 

As we left, Ghost moved from Cayde’s shoulder to inside his hood, tucking himself in close against his neck. It actually made Cayde feel much better and I saw him smile a little at the affectionate gesture. I smiled, too, and gently steered Cayde to walk down the street where the park area opened up to a walkway that overlooked a large lake. People were around, some walking, some gathered and chatting with friends or shopping, and some were even jogging through on a morning workout routine. I sat us down on a bench looking out over the lake where ships flew far overhead, around and under the Traveler and the broken pieces orbiting it’s great mass. Cayde took a long, slow, deep breath, letting it out, finally breathing again. 

I put my arm back around him as we sat there, idly looking around at and listening to the everyday bustle. “Not even going to ask if you’re okay,” I murmured. “I know you’re not. But is there anything I can do?” I carefully asked.

He looked over at me and smiled a little then closed his eyes and rested his head on my shoulder. “You’ve done everything I could need, and right now, this is perfect,” he murmured back. 

We sat together for a long time, neither of us needing to say anything. It was a moment needed for quiet affection and support more than anything else. Plus, I think the sounds and energy of the City helped him. When things grew still, Cayde reflected and I knew he didn’t want to do that right now. He needed the distraction of all the people and the liveliness of the City.

“Sundance always liked the City,” Cayde eventually whispered. I felt him reach over and take my free hand, holding it. “She said she liked it cause she spent so much time alone before finding me. Said she could feel the life vibrating through her whenever we came down here. If there was nothing else worth fighting for, this was it.” He sighed. “I know she wouldn’t be upset she died. I know she’d know it was just part of life. That, eventually, you had to go home. But I miss her anyway.” I hugged him tighter and turned my head, lightly kissing his temple through the hood. “Only thing I bet she’d be pissed about is missing me proposing to you,” he said, lightly chuckling. “She teased me about that a lot.”

“She did?” I asked, smiling a little, eyebrows rising. “Is this something you’d talked about with her before?”

He snorted, snaking his head. “No. But I think she just knew how much I loved you even before I admitted it to myself. Knew, eventually, it was gonna be you and me. She liked all the mushy stuff, like I do.”

My smile broadened until I noticed his shoulders sag and felt the sorrow creep back in around him. I twisted myself sideways and hugged him. “You and I both know, death isn’t the end. Even if it means not being able to come back here, it’s not the end. And I really believe, wherever she is, she knows how much you will always love her and a part of her is always going to be with you.”

He nodded, sucking in a shaky breath as he curled against me and bowed his head more, reaching up and pulling the hood down a bit further as he tried to calm down.

“You want to go home?” I gently asked and he nodded again. 

I got him up and led him back, guiding him the whole way so he didn’t have to look up if he didn’t want to. Thankfully we didn’t seem to run into anyone who knew or recognized either of us until we got to the main security gates at the base of the Tower but, by then, Cayde had managed to pull himself back together and the facade went back up, a bit like a switch. It was a little eerie how well he could do that. Ghost disappeared from inside his hood as he greeted the security personnel with a nod and wink, making a little clicking sound as he motioned to them with finger-guns. The Titans and Frames on duty immediately stood at attention for him and opened the gate for us. Once we were on the other side and in the elevator heading up, his demeanor softened, becoming a mix of the upbeat he’d been at the gate and the sorrowful from in the park. He leaned back against the elevator wall, starring at the digital numbers as they creeped up the higher we went. He must have noticed I was watching him and glanced over at me. “I’m okay,” he nodded, but we both knew that was bullshit.

When we arrived back in the apartment, Cayde toed off his boots, leaving them fallen over on the floor beside the door, and went into the living room. I took my own shoes off and picked up his boots, setting them neatly beside my shoes and followed him into the living room. When I looked over at the couch, I saw him curled up in the corner, Ghost hovering nearby. He looked over at me with worry before looking back at Cayde who had his knees drawn up to his chest, hugging them, his head resting on them. As I stepped over I saw his face was actually pressed into the old tattered scarf Sundance had used for a bed and was quietly sobbing against it. “Oh, Firefly,” I murmured, and gently sat down beside him, hugging him. 

He leaned into me, hugging the scarf to his chest. “I really miss her,” he uttered. “Miss her just being here.”

“I know,” I whispered back, my own eyes tearing as I felt just how much it hurt him - how deep the pain was of being a Guardian with part of themselves ripped away. This wasn’t the same feeling he’d had back in the prison or any other time before or since. This was a different pain. This was a deep, longing sorrow coupled with a strange release. Like it was all finally settling in she was gone from here and now he had to accept it - that’d he’d forced it on himself by getting the box and saying what he wanted placed on it aloud. 

“Y-you really believe that, those who have gone from here … they-they know if we’re happy or not?” He asked. “That … knowing we’re happy means we’re okay? That they don’t have to - have to worry about us?” I knew he wasn’t questioning if I’d said it before, or doubting my beliefs or even his own. He was looking for permission to let go of the pain and be happy. I knew he wanted to be, and I knew he hurt form losing her but I also knew he felt like he had to hurt. That he had to cry more, to be angry more, to do something more to show just how deep his sorrow went. But, truth was, he’d never be able to cry enough or hurt enough to show how much she had always and would always mean to him. That the best way to honor her was to be happy because that was what she’d want for him.

Eventually, I nodded. “Yes, sweetheart. I really believe that. And, knowing her, I bet anything she’d do just like she did the very first time you met.”

He lifted his head, blinking back some tears and sniffing, and looked at me curiously, eyebrows furrowing.

I smiled. “She’d watch you fall off the cliff, shake her head at you, then go get you back up and encourage you to dust yourself off and keep going.”

He blinked at me again, this time trying to force away new tears as they welled up and spilled over. He shook his head then grabbed me in the tightest hug he’d ever given me. “Thank you, Ais … Thank you,” he brokenly uttered and, for the first time since the prison, I felt the weight of her death lift off his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, this chapter was about 'chapters'. One closing for Cayde, and a new one opening for him and Ais together. I am debating on this being the last chapter for this part. BUT, this isn't the last of the story. Do not worry. So this one doesn't go on with too many chapters, I think what I may do is create 'For Cayde Part 2' and post it as a new story but as the continuation of this one. Whatever I do, I will make sure you all know. One way or another, a chapter 30 will be posted. It will either be another chapter of actual story, or it will be letting you all know the rest is continuing in Part 2 and the link to it here on AO3. But, I promise, this isn't the end. There's more to come, more to cover and, with Season of the Drifter coming, more story to mix into this one regarding the Drifter. I know you all are curious about Cayde and him and their history. :) . And, yes, the Dreaming City will be there, too!


	30. Chapter 30

Alright everyone, I did the thing! The continuation is in Part 2 and here's the link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/17915657/chapters/42299672 . So head on over there to read more Cayde and Ais and see the rest of their story unfold! 

<3  
Ais


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